My Worst Best Friend (2 page)

I had no idea. I’d never even been on a date.

“For forty minutes?”

“Oh, that…” There was nothing nervous about Savanna’s shrug. “I was behind the bike shed – waiting for Marilouise to go.” And nothing apologetic about her either.

“You
what
?” She never ceased to amaze me. Which would be one of the things I loved about her. “You mean you were there all the time?” At least she hadn’t forgotten me.

“And every second was like an hour hanging by my thumbs…” Savanna rolled her eyes. “I mean, like, really, Gracie, I know you have a kind heart and everything, but how could you let her drone on and on like that?”

“She wasn’t droning.” I unlocked my bike and wheeled it out of the rack. “We were having a conversation.”

“About
eggplant parmigiana
?” spluttered Savanna. “Oh, give me a break. I mean, yeah, eggplant parmigiana is marginally more exciting than hearing about Marilouise giving her dog a bath or what
Mommy
thinks about skinny jeans, but it’s still way less exciting than listening to paint dry.” She sighed. “Really, Gracie – I was starting to think she’d never leave.”

I laughed. “You’re too much, Savanna. You knew I was hanging around waiting for you and you hid behind the bike shed?”

Unlike those of us who were sixteen but looked twelve, Savanna was sixteen and could pass for twenty. Except when she pouted, which made her look like she was three and had lost Mr Bunny. “Oh, don’t make me feel bad, Gray. It wasn’t like I was hiding from
you.
And you know that if it started getting dark or there was a tornado or something I would’ve come out.” Savanna tossed her bag into the basket on my bike. “But I had this, like, reallyreally stressful day. And I mean
reallyreally
filled with stress. The stress was packed in there like salmons in a can.”

“
Sardines
.”

“Gracie, please… Have a little pity.” She slid her arm through mine. “I know I asked you to tell me when I get my words confused, but after a day like today linguistic perfection isn’t really a major priority.” We started walking down the drive. “I mean, you wouldn’t believe so much crap could happen to one person who wasn’t a biblical character. It’s like everybody and his extended family woke up this morning with only one thought in their tiny minds: Let’s give Savanna Zindle a really awesomely hard time today. Let’s see that she truly suffers.”

I poked her with my elbow. “It couldn’t be everybody, Savanna. At least one person must’ve woken up thinking about breakfast.”

Savanna grinned. “OK, maybe one person woke up wondering whether she was going to have granola or cornflakes – but everybody else was thinking about how to ruin my day.” She poked me back. “And I’m not even counting the super-catalogue of disasters that happened
before
lunch, Gray.” Which would be the fight with her sister … the fight with her mother … harsh words from her father … getting her bagel stuck in the toaster … forgetting her English homework … breaking her longest nail because Mrs Pontiac wouldn’t excuse her from gym … a surprise quiz in maths … “I’m talking about just
since
lunch. I mean, what is that, like a couple of hours? That’s not long enough for a manicure and a leg wax, for God’s sake. And you know what? I even had to sit next to the window in French because Kira what’s-her-face – you know, the one who looks like a cocker spaniel? – she took my seat because I was, like, half a second late, and you know I can’t stand to be in the sun like that. I mean it, Gracie, if I get skin cancer I’m suing the school district. It really is sooo unfair.”

I wasn’t too worried about the skin cancer. Savanna was pretty much protected by make-up.

“But I still don’t get it. Marilouise is your oldest friend. Why would you—”

Savanna held up her free hand. It was hard to tell if she was surrendering or shielding herself. “I know … I know … I’m, like, a terrible person – I admit it. But I just couldn’t face her right now. I really couldn’t.” She shook her head. “I mean, I am truly fond of Marilouise, you know I am.” She frowned. “And that’s even though she hasn’t always been the most totally understanding and supportive friend you could hope for.” Curls swirled and earrings flashed. “Remember the time that psycho at Scissor Sisters cut my hair and Marilouise said I looked like a squirrel?”

“Savanna, she
was
joking.”

“But it wasn’t funny, Gracie. You know how sensitive I am.” More swirling curls and flashing gold. “And what about how she’s always defending Zelda and telling me I should be nicer to her?”

Zelda was Savanna’s mother. They had a troubled relationship. (Savanna had a troubled relationship with her dad and her sister too, but the one with Zelda was more troubled.)

“That’s just because Marilouise’s father abandoned them. You know, she’s very mother-sensitive.”

“Maybe.” Savanna’s shoulders heaved as though she was trying to shake something off them. “But she still makes me feel really bad when she goes into her Miss-Sweetness-and-Light-and-Two-Good-Shoes routine.”

“Goody Two Shoes.”

“Whatever. The point is that Marilouise doesn’t live with the horror that is Zelda Zindle. I bet if she did she’d talk to her exactly the way I do.”

I wasn’t so sure about that. Besides the fact that Marilouise was more the salt-of-the-earth than the salt-in-the-wound type, odds were that if Marilouise had been made of jute she’d have been a doormat. She wasn’t really known for being harsh.

“You may be right,” Savanna conceded. “I mean, she is like the human equivalent of boiled potatoes, isn’t she?” Savanna smirked. “No butter, no salt, and
definitely
no pepper.”

“There
are
worse things.” I really liked plain boiled potatoes.

“I didn’t say she’s like this major booga-booga friend from hell, Gray. I mean, she’s absolutely not the worst best friend I ever had.”

That would be Lena Skopec. Lena Skopec and Savanna had been best friends when they were nine. Lena talked Savanna into giving her the pink leather boots she got for Christmas as a friendship present, and then, when Zelda made Savanna ask for them back, Lena told everyone that Savanna had lice. My worst best friend was Candy Russo.

“But Marilouise is your oldest friend.” I guess I felt about Marilouise the way I felt about the planet – you know, that I had to defend her because she couldn’t really defend herself.

“Exactly!” Savanna snapped her fingers. “The important word here being
old
. I mean, let’s face the very loud music, Gracie. Marilouise and I have been drifting apart since we started high school. You can’t deny it. I grew up practically overnight, but Marilouise is still like a little kid. Everything’s
Mommy this
and
Mommy that
… I mean, she still has
dolls
on her bed, for God’s sake! You’ve seen her room. It’s like Time dropped dead in there or something. Dolls on the bed … ruffles on the spread … pictures of her dogs all over the dresser… It’s like a mega-miracle she finally got rid of her Little Mermaid curtains.” She sighed. “We just don’t have that much in common any more.”

“Yeah, but—”

But Savanna was on a roll.

“And what was the
‘It’s not like a real party or anything’
routine? I mean, give me a break, huh? Like there was ever a chance she’d have a real party! Marilouise doesn’t know enough people to fill an SUV, yet alone enough to make a party.”

“Let alone.”

“Don’t try to distract me, Gracie. The point is that she’s lucky she knows
us
or she’d be eating her stupid eggplant with only that witch Jemima for company. I mean, ohmigod… How depressing would that be? I’d rather be put on a chain gang.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you’d ever seen
Cool Hand Luke.
” Savanna had a thing about old movies: she wouldn’t watch them.

Savanna didn’t let that stop her flow. “And anyway, I don’t know why she’s obsessing about it now,” she went on. “I mean, her birthday’s not for, like,
ages
.”

“Two weeks.”

“Exactly. I mean, like, really, Gracie, who decides what they’re going to eat two weeks ahead?”

In my relationship with Savanna, she was the one who was passionate, spontaneous, unpredictable and as emotional as a character in a disaster movie. Four more of the things I loved about her. I was the thoughtful, plodding, reliable one. I was the voice of reason.

“For Pete’s sake, Savanna, she’s nervous about going out for her birthday, that’s all. I don’t really think that’s a crime. And anyway, she was just keeping me company.” I poked her with my elbow. “You know, while I was waiting for
you
.”

“Oh, that’s right!” wailed Savanna. “Blame me! Everybody else does. But you’ll have to get to the back of the line, Gracie. There are at least three million people ahead of you.”

“Stop exaggerating,” I ordered. “It can’t be more than two and a half million.”

By the time we stopped laughing, we were at the Old Road. I disengaged my arm so I could get on my bike.

Savanna looked at me. Askance. “Where are you going, Gracie?”

I said that I was going home. “You know, that place where I live? Where I keep my clothes and stuff?”

Savanna said she thought I was going with her. “Didn’t I tell you at lunch that the mother dragonned me into doing the shopping this afternoon?”

“Dragooned.”

She flicked a hand. “Whatever. The point is that you said you’d come with me.”

I didn’t remember saying that. All I remembered was Savanna grousing about the Zindle elders, their other daughter and their toaster, and me agreeing it was a miracle she didn’t have chronic indigestion since she never had a meal without a fight.

“Well, I can’t go alone,” said Savanna. With conviction.

“Why not? It’s not as if you have to strap on your snowshoes and go shoot a moose, Savanna. You’re just going to Food First to get some groceries.”

Savanna shook her head. “Not by myself, Gracie. You know how much I hate shopping for food. I mean, how mind-drainingly boring can you get? I’d rather be trapped in a coalmine with Marilouise. I need moral support. You have to come with me.”

“But I can’t. I have a translation to do for Spanish. That alone’ll take me hours.”

Savanna wanted to know why I always had to make things so hard. In case I hadn’t noticed, this was the twenty-first century.

“It won’t take twenty minutes to do it. You can have it translated online.”

No, I couldn’t.

“But that’s—”

“No, it isn’t,” argued Savanna. “Cheating’s when you copy off someone else. This is using the resources available. Which everyone says is, like, a major sign of intelligence and ability.” Her smile was like a cloudless sky. “Anyway, it’s no worse than using a calculator. It’s what you’re supposed to do.”

I figured my Spanish teacher Señor Pérez would disagree with that. Señor Pérez was pretty much firmly embedded in the twentieth century.

“I wasn’t going to say that it’s cheating, Savanna. I was going to say those sites are—” I was going to say those sites were for morons, but I stomped on the brakes just in time. I was pretty sure she used them herself. “Those sites really don’t work. Not for something like this. They’re mega-literal and they get stuff really wrong.” I was in the Advanced Placement class. Literal didn’t cut much ice with Señor Pérez. “Besides, the whole idea is to learn the language, not learn how to find a site that’ll do your homework for you.”

Savanna made a face she usually reserved for a lecture from her mother. “Oh, pardon me, Pope Gracie. I wasn’t trying to get you to betray your holy vows here. I just think you should give yourself a break. It’s not, like, going to kill you to ease up on the drudge-till-you-drop routine just this once.”

“But not today.” I gripped the handlebars. Determinedly. “Anyway, it’s my night to cook.” My dad and I took turns.

Savanna’s face darkened with disappointment. “Oh, Gracie, please…” She clutched my arm. At least I was wearing a jacket so she couldn’t draw blood with her stiletto nails. “You and your psychotic work ethic. I mean, I, like, hardly saw you all summer because you were planting butterflies all the time.”

She really did crack me up. “I wasn’t
planting
butterflies, Sav.” I worked on a project with the National Park over the summer doing stuff like teaching little kids about the environment and reinstating wildlife habitats. But not all of us thought that was better than sitting on the beach, self-basting. “I was planting a butterfly garden.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” Savanna didn’t share my worries about the environment – you know, that pretty soon we won’t have one that actually supports life. Savanna had an optimistic nature. Savanna said that things couldn’t be as bad as I thought, because if they
were
someone would do something about it. She figured that if things did get really bad, then science would come up with a solution. Since this
is
the twenty-first century. Whereas I figured that was like expecting a murderer to bring his victim back to life. “The point is that I didn’t get to talk to you
at all
last night.”

I pretended to choke. “Because
you
were busy.”

“And I haven’t had more than, like, half a second alone with you today…”

As if it was
my
friends who always ate lunch with us.

She gave me the Mr-Bunny’s-gone-for-good look again. “Please, I’m begging. I really need some quality Gracie time. Reallyreallyreally. Just a few measly minutes. You can’t let me down.”

“I want to come…” I was torn. My psychotic work ethic was pulling one way and not wanting to let Savanna down was pulling the other. “But I really should—”

“Pleasepleaseplease…” Savanna clasped her hands. If you’d thrown a shawl over her head she would’ve looked as if she was praying. “You can’t abandon me now, Gracie. You can’t let me go by myself. I have a very sensitive nature. You know how the supermarket stresses me out.”

And I had a very pliable nature. “I don’t know…”

“Don’t be unreasonable, Gracie. This is not like a really big deal. It’s like a drop of ant pee in the ocean. I mean, the shopping’s not going to take any time at all with the two of us doing it, is it?”