My Year Inside Radical Islam

Table of Contents

 

 

PRAISE FOR
MY YEAR INSIDE RADICAL ISLAM

“More than five years after these perceptions became deathly important, Daveed Gartenstein-Ross maintains we are still woefully behind in ‘understanding how the enemy thinks, understanding jihadist ideology, understanding how people become radicalized.’ As a recent convert from part of the problem to part of the solution, Gartenstein-Ross provides a highly personal case study in
My Year Inside Radical Islam
.” —
The Oregonian

“My Year Inside Radical Islam
is the story of a faith journey rather than an exposé of Islam. Gartenstein-Ross writes in a compelling but evenhanded manner and lets the facts speak for themselves. . . . His experience suggests that those who are raised without clear religious convictions may find the allure of extremism difficult to resist.”

—
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

“A rising star in the counterterrorism community . . .While a growing number of former terrorist operatives and counterterrorism officials are publishing insider accounts of their shadowy battles, Gartenstein-Ross offers a troubling testimony on the lure of radical Islam for Westerners. This is not merely an academic proposition, since Western converts like him pose a major challenge to law-enforcement officials in their fight against radical Islamist networks.” —
International Herald Tribune

“Gartenstein-Ross never approached the premeditated violent radicalism of Gadahn or Walker Lindh. He can offer only so much insight into the paths of the disturbed men who would fight against their own country or, like the London bombers, end their lives while blowing up the humanity around them. But Gartenstein-Ross’s book, though less sensational than some might like, offers a window into a more commonplace but no less important experience: that of conversion to Islam today. He reveals how ideologically vulnerable a convert can be; in that first flush of excitement and devotion, almost anyone claiming Islamic authority can dramatically imprint the convert’s faith.” —
Islamica Magazine

“Gartenstein-Ross reveals how widening doctrinal tensions are dividing twenty-first-century expressions of Islam in this memoir of his journey into and out of the faith. . . . For readers trying to understand Muslims on both sides of the radical-moderate divide, Gartenstein-Ross’s story will be an eye-opener.” —
Booklist

“The author, not unlike ‘Jihad Johnny’ Walker Lindh, began a journey of faith that led him to Islam. Fortunately for the rest of us, Gartenstein-Ross’s search took him down a radically different path from that of Walker.”

—The Reverend Canon Keith Roderick, Secretary-General, Coalition for the Defense of Human Rights

“An extraordinary memoir of an extraordinary journey—from child of Jewish hippies to apathetic undergrad to Sufi Muslim activist to Islamic extremist to FBI informer and counterterrorism expert. Brave, beautifully written, witty, introspective, and gripping, this book makes a unique and invaluable contribution to our understanding of Islamic extremists, from one who lived and worked among them. I couldn’t put it down—and neither will you.”

—Michelle Malkin, author of
Invasion: How America Still Welcomes Terrorists, Criminals, and Other Foreign Menaces to Our Shores

“Unlike so many authors who have written on radical Islam, Daveed Gartenstein-Ross provides a well-crafted analysis from within the movement itself, drawing on his personal experiences to show how young men are radicalized and then encouraged to support or even participate personally in violence. . . . An invaluable examination of jihadism in America, and the threats that it poses to our country.”

—Mary R. Habeck, associate professor, Paul H. Nitze School of Advanced International Studies, Johns Hopkins University

“Daveed Gartenstein-Ross’s courageous journey across the boundary between religion and ideology helps us understand how Muslim youth throughout the world can transition from peaceful followers of Islam to suicide bombers. A must-read.”

—Lieutenant General Thomas G. McInerney, USAF (Ret.), coauthor of
Endgame: The Blueprint for Victory in the War on Terror

“[A] riveting memoir . . . Daveed Gartenstein-Ross’s is a prophetic voice that we can’t afford to ignore.” —Rod Dreher,
The Dallas Morning News
and blogger at
Beliefnet.com

“Daveed Gartenstein-Ross shares his unique perspective as well as a deep religious conviction in this compelling book.”

—Dennis M. Lormel, former Chief, Terrorist Financing Operations Section, Counterterrorism Division, FBI

JEREMY P. TARCHER/PENGUIN
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014,
USA Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto,
Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)
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Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices:
80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
First trade paperback edition 2008

Copyright © 2007 by Daveed Gartenstein-Ross

eISBN : 978-1-4406-3371-3

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

As with any memoir, a large part of this book is dependent on my memory. Given the sensitivity of the subject matter I’m writing about, I’ve attempted wherever possible to track down eyewitnesses and documents relevant to the events described herein. Generally, any quotes from personal conversations are approximations of what was actually said. I had much better success finding relevant e-mail and Internet postings. Virtually all of the e-mail and Internet postings that I quote from are direct quotes.

In most cases, I have used the actual names of the people discussed in the narrative. In a few instances, however, the names have been changed for privacy reasons.

SEARCHING FOR GOD AMONG THE HIPPIES

Before I was an FBI informant, an apostate, and a blasphemer, I was a devout believer in radical Islam who worked for a Saudi-funded charity that sent money to al-Qaeda. At the time, it all seemed pretty normal.

On the inside of a radical Islamic group, there are many rules to remember. A lot of them involve limbs. I could eat using only my right hand. I could never pet a dog or shake hands with a woman. To avoid Allah’s wrath, I had to roll up my pants legs above the ankles. On the other hand, shorts on men had to extend below the knee or they were indecent. I believed in all of this and more. I believed that Jews and other nonbelievers had to be conquered and ruled as the inferiors they are.

Funny thing, I was born Jewish. At twenty-three, with my nose in a wool prayer rug, I had to pray for the humiliation of my parents.

This is a story about the seduction of radical Islam, which, like love, can take its devotees suddenly or by degrees, and the long, dangerous climb out. It is a story of converts trapped by extremist views that once seemed alien, furtive calls to the FBI, and a surprising series of revelations that changed my life.

My name is Daveed Gartenstein-Ross. If you went looking for my childhood home, you’d snake along I-5 out of California, follow the green-and-white signs to the Elizabethan-themed tourist town of Ashland, Oregon, and wend your way into one of the town’s countless subdivisions. There, you would find my house at the end of a lazy cul-de-sac. It wouldn’t be hard to spot. My neighbors all had perfect green lawns, while we had the rocks and weeds of an old riverbed. In the back, we kept an untamed jungle of trees and flowers. Our neighbors did not complain; we were on the hippie end of a hippie town.

Like most people who grow up in Ashland, I would complain constantly that there was nothing to do. But I always knew that I would miss the place. Ashland was a liberal oasis in conservative southern Oregon and it brimmed with counterculture. There was an award-winning Shakespearean theater. There was Lithia Park, designed by Golden Gate Park’s creator. And there was the telling fact that this hamlet of only fifteen thousand boasted close to a dozen bookstores.

My parents fell in love with Ashland during a brief visit when I was three years old. For those who are drawn to the town, it is the peaks they see first. The Siskiyou Mountains meet the Cascades in Ashland, one stop along the Cascades’ northward crawl to Mount St. Helens. It is these hills that give the best view of town. A short hike would take you to a vantage point above the park where you could see my old childhood haunts: the plaza and ice cream shop, the baseball diamonds, the dirt lot off C Street where my friends and I used to race our bikes.

My family moved a couple of times before settling down at the end of our cul-de-sac. We first lived in a brown ranch house in the Quiet Village neighborhood before spending half a dozen years in a town house on sloping Wimer Street. Though we moved a few times, every place we lived had the same serene New Age feel inside.

My parents’ artwork spoke a great deal about their brand of religion. Various scenes from Jesus’ life graced the living room. In the backyard stood a small white statue of Buddha. They were sort of Unitarian Jews who esteemed Jesus and Buddha equally.

Though my parents were from Jewish backgrounds, they weren’t happy with traditional Judaism and decided to join a new religion when I was still a toddler. It was known as the “Infinite Way.” My dad once described the group as a “disorganized religion,” in contrast to organized religion: it had no membership, no dues, no nonprofit corporation, and no enforcement of doctrine. The group was founded by Joel Goldsmith, who was also born Jewish but became a Christian Scientist; he left Christian Science when his ideas diverged from those of Mary Baker Eddy. Joel, whose followers called him by his first name, founded the Infinite Way around 1940, but didn’t name it then. Instead, he simply started teaching spiritual principles late that year.

The group’s name came seven years later, when Joel published a book called
The Infinite Way.
Joel’s teachings focused on awakening people to their unlimited potential that could only be harnessed through spiritual consciousness. As Joel explained: “The necessity for giving up the material sense of existence for the attainment of the spiritual consciousness of life and its activities is the secret of the seers, prophets, and saints of all ages.”