Nan's Journey (2 page)

“Baby, we must leave. Do you understand? Stay quiet and I will get some stuff to take with us.”
She said.

She found
large old handkerchief and
found food
supplies. There was one sourdough biscuit and about a cu
p of cold brown beans. She located
her tin cup and another rag. She would probably need that. Three matches were in the cup on the stove. She would just take
two
. Suddenly she heard a sound fro
m Ma’s room. Scampering
… just a rat. Ma turned over. Her brea
thing became deep and regular. Fo
r once Nan wished that Ma snored. She tied the handkerchief in a knot o
ver the meager food supplies,
grabbed their bedrolls
,
and slowly opened the door.

“Come on, Elmer. Carry this food.
I’ll get your bedding. That’s a good boy. We must hurry!”

*****

The cold air bit at their faces, but they walked bravely on.

“Elmer, we must go tonight so we can get as far away as we can before Ma wakes
up and sees that we are gone
.”

For the next half hour the pair walked in silence through the familiar woods past the graves on the hill.
The graves were the only thing that tied them to the farm. Their mother ,
an infant who had died the same day as his
m
other, and
a
f
ather that only Nan had
memory of. Elmer
was
only two years old
when Pa died in the logging accident. Nan snapped out of h
er reverie and urged Elmer on.
Molasses
, Pa’s
good old workhorse
, stood in the pasture. He skidded the logs Pa
cut with
his axe. His
legs hadn’t healed quite right, but Ma
ma hadn’t let Mr. Dewey kill him because
he was all she had left of the husband of her youth. Molasses was a fait
hful friend to Nan and Elmer. H
e stood there
and waited for them to mount him
.

“Molasses, take us to…” Nan realized then that they had nowhere to go. Mrs. Dewey had said that they were ungrateful little imps
who
didn’t realize she and Mr. Dewey were taking care of them out of kindness
,
and they could easily be put into an orphanage. Nan didn’t know anything about orp
hanages except what Mrs. Dewey…
uh, Ma had told her.
“Molasses, just take us out of here.”

Chapter 2

It felt good to be off her feet and sit
ting
on the broad back of the faithful horse. Elmer was in front of her and she had him lean back against her so he could sleep. She wrapped
them
with the skimpy little bedrolls and rode into the night.

Once started, she allowed herself to think about the occupants of those graves and how her life had changed in the last five years. Thinking back, she remembered golden
, happy days. The sky seemed brilliantly blue and the woods
fresh and pine scented
. Pa was
a handsome man,
tall, blonde and muscular. He wore
the title of “man” with dignity
and
strength. Mama had loved him more than anything
. She called out to
him
and Nan as they were playing in the meadow. When she caught up to them, she showered them with kisses and hugs. Mama, a tiny woman with raven black hair, was strong and brave. Nan could remember her singing while she worked. She sang while she cooked, sewed, gardened, and even while she washed on the washboard. The melodies floated from her mouth on angel wings. Pa used to tell her that if he listened while he was in the woods, he would swear that the l
ittle birds were tried to sing as sweet
but couldn’t quite do it. Mama would say that her songs came from the blessing of God and a dear family. Ma
ma
had been an orphan. Nan had forgotten about that! Pa’s
m
other and
f
ather had been dead a long time. As far and Nan knew, her only living relative was her little brother.

Nan remembered when the singing stopped. The day had been beautiful. Pa was logging. His helper had been helping him skid the logs. He had piled them high. Pa was trying to get them loaded on the wagon to go to the mill.
The logs rolled on top of him and
crushed him
. H
e died three
days later. Mama tried to keep food on the table. Everyone else in the woods was poor
,
too. When Mr. Dewey asked her to marry him
six months later
, there didn’t seem to be any other choice
,
s
he had to feed her family.

*****

Mr. Dewey
had been so different from Pa. Of course he knew that Mama didn’t really love him and that he would never take Pa’s place. He gave Mama more jobs to do. She was in charge of anything that had to do with the house
. H
e did his work at the mill. There was little money, so any job to be do
ne had to be done by Ma
ma
. She fixed the roof and chopped wood.

Nan
was eleven
when Pa died
.  She hadn’t
grow
n
much since. She was now
fifteen
and Elmer would soon be
six;
n
o one would have guessed her age. Mr.
Dewey
was determined to have a son. Mama finally was able to carry a child to term, but was not able t
o survive the birth. She was
weakened by
hard work and miscarriages. T
he little baby brother
was
born dead. Nan
was
frightened for Elmer at that time because Mr. Dewey was annoyed with everything
he
did
. One month later Mr. Dewey
brought home a n
ew wife. He
never said where she came from only that they were to call her “Ma”.

It was
hard to call a stranger
‘
Ma
’
. They didn’t know her name and she slapped them if they called her Mrs. Dewey. She became Ma. It seemed odd to say the word and have it only mean a label
for someone in her life. No warm
conne
ctions were attached to the word
. Nan wondered how much Elmer remembered about Mama
since
h
e was pretty young when she went to heaven.

Heaven
,
Mama talked about heaven
;
s
he said that was where Pa was. Nan wished that she and Elmer could ride old Molasses to heaven. Maybe Mama would be singing there. Nan’s eyes became so heavy; sh
e could not hold them open
. She drifted off as when remembered about her Mama telling her long ago about a stairway to heaven with angels going up and down. Maybe Molasses could find it and take them to Mama and Pa.

Chapter 3

Nan jerked awake just before she lost balance
and fell off the back of the big
horse. It was still very
dark and
she
could barely make out the trees on
the horizon. They came to a
large clearing. Town was a half a mile to the
n
orth and the road continued westward
, but
Nan knew they couldn’t go through the town and head
n
orth because someone might see them and tell Mrs. Dewey.

Elmer stirred in his sleep and Nan repositioned him to lie across her. The movement broke open some of the wel
ts and she could feel her under
shirt getting slightly wet. “Oh God, please make the bleeding stop. I can’t get anything else and people would tell on me if they knew I’d been whipped.” The bleeding stopped and the travelers rode on.
At daybreak they came upon a stream and Nan pulled Molasses to a stop. She nudged Elmer and eased him to the ground. Gingerly she climbed off the very tall horse and grabbed the bedrolls.

Fumbling through the blankets she found the knotted handkerchief and pulled out the hard biscuit. “Elmer, we will have to share this. It will be our breakfast today.
”
She tore the biscuit in half and gave Elmer his share. She found her tin cup and got some water from the stream and brought it to Elmer.

“Nan, I’m tired. Where are we going? Will Ma beat you again when she sees us?”

“Elmer, we are going away. I don’t know where, but we must go fast so Ma will never see us again. Elme
r, can you be brave
and ride some more?”

“Yep, I don’t want Ma beatin’ you again.” Nan rolled up the blankets and decided to have the beans for dinner or supper. They would have to do something else after that if they were going to eat again. There was nothing else left.

As they
slowly traveled
down the road, Nan began to think
.
Mrs. Dewey would be asking around if anyone had seen them. People would be looking for a girl and her little brother. She had to think of something. Just then they passed a small house next to the road.
Elmer pointed and said, “
Look
,
Nan, some woman le
ft part of the wash on the line
.
Boy, wouldn’t Ma skin us alive if we had done that!”

Nan blinked through the semi-dar
kness and saw a clothesline. She
jumped off the horse and grabbed the clothes off the li
ne. They smelled
like skunk, but she took them anyway.

“Now you know why they were on the clothesline, Elmer. Some boy got sprayed by a skunk and was trying to get them aired out before he washed them.”

“Why did you take them, Nan?” questioned Elmer.

“Well, I need a disgui
se. They won’t be looking for two
boys,” said Nan.

“Yep, but you would still look like a girl, you got long hair!”

“Elmer, do you have your pocket knife?”

“Yep
.
”

“Let me see it.”

“Ok
ay.
”

Nan grabbed the little pocketknife and began sawing off first one black braid and then the other. Her hair was the same length as Elmer’s. Nan sadly looked at
the long braids in her hands,
wrapped them in her old dress
,
and t
ied it to the bedroll. She
tugged on the loose fitting trousers and heavy shirt.

“Nan, you look just like a boy!” squealed Elmer.

“
Let’s
cut us a couple of limbs and rig us up some fishing poles. If anybody sees us, they will think we are boys off fishing.” Nan said. “You will have to call me another name. No boy would be called Nan. What shall it be?”

“I like Ned
,
” said Elmer.

“Ned it is, Elmer. I look kinda like a Ned
,
huh?”

Silently the two rode into the west with the sun rising on their backs
, the world brightened
up little by little. Nan
wondered how each morning
seem
ed
full of new beginnings.
That is what we have, a new beginning
, she thought. If only she could figure out what to do next. Elmer needed food. They stopped next to a stream and she got out the little tin cup of cold beans. They shared and ate slowly.

“Nan, does your back still hurt?’

“Yep, Elmer. Do you think you could help me clean up the blood? I’m afraid that when I start sweatin’ the blood will come through to the new shirt.”

“Nan, she beat
you bad! You don’t got much skin that ain’t broke open!”

“Elmer, we had to leave, else she would have took the strap to you. I never want you to have this pain.”

“Sister, how far away are we? Are they going to look for us?”

“I don’t know. We gotta let the horse rest and eat some grass. Maybe we can catch a fish while we lay here by this creek and sleep. You are tired aren’t you, honey?”

Elmer stretched out on the grass and was soon asleep. As Elmer slept, Nan noticed som
e berries on bushes close to
the
creek. She took the tin cup and filled it
up. She dumped the berries into
the hanky and refilled the cup
. Taking the old rag from home she
dipped it in the stream. Washing the grime from her face and arms without soap was quite a task. She was exhausted and laid on the ground next to Elmer while Molasses grazed nearby.