Nan's Story (10 page)

The familiar pang of resentment at how
motherly
the exchange looked was quickly replaced with a surprising touch of gratitude that CJ was so loved. Nan knew without question Elsie would lie down her life for that child and never think twice about it. This feeling of appreciation was quite new and different for her and she wondered if standing here next to Charlie might be having an effect. Whatever it was, it felt good and light and made her tentatively optimistic that things could be okay.

Charlie shifted behind her and Nan suddenly felt his breath gently stir the baby hairs on the back of her neck. Goose bumps pricked her arms and she swallowed hard. Having him so near forced the air from her in an audible “huh” sound. She closed her eyes.

“What?” Charlie whispered in her ear. More goose bumps.

“Nothing,” she said without turning around. “Nothing at all.”

Opening her eyes, Nan caught sight of Elsie watching them with an attentive expression. Jumping abruptly enough to startle Charlie, she took a step away from him. Nan cast a guilty glance toward her mother, who was now sitting on the edge of her chair, eyes probing. Elsie had seemed pleased when she’d heard Charlie was coming the night before, launching into a series of fond recollections.

“That boy ate so many dinners with us,” Nan’s mother told a visibly bored Joe, “it was more of a surprise when he wasn’t there than when he was. I remember his eyes best, though. Deep, thoughtful…and almost always blackened,” Elsie had finished sadly.

Fondness aside, the unease on her mother’s face at this moment was undeniable. Relax mama, Nan thought as she wrung her hands. Don’t do anything rash. Elsie would never dream of making an obvious scene (how very uncouth), but the woman had a way of getting her point across that rivaled being hit in the head with an anvil.

The song ended in a round of applause and Arthur kissed Laura.

“Once again, I present you Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Bower,” the DJ called. “Now all you guys and gals, we’re going to pick it up a notch here with
‘At the
Hop’
by Danny and the Juniors.

The space around Nan and Charlie cleared some as guests moved onto the dance floor. Nan backed away a little more.

“How about a drink?” Charlie asked, raising his voice a bit to be heard above the music.

Nan nodded.

“Champagne?” he asked.

“You remember?” Nan asked, surprised but not really.

“Of course I remember,” Charlie said. His expression told her that he remembered it all.

“Yes…champagne,” Nan replied, wondering for the first time if she might be dreaming. Such a small gesture, but it meant so much to her. Charlie would know that.

With the dance floor crowded now, Nan’s view of Elsie was blocked and her apprehension eased some, though she still saw no sign of her brother. Part of her was glad about that, but she would have felt better knowing his whereabouts instead of having him catch her off guard.

Tapping Nan’s shoulder with his pinky, Charlie held her drink out. She took it and smiled as swirling bubbles raced toward the top of the golden liquid.

“To friends?” Charlie lifted his glass.

“’Til the end,” she replied grinning.

Nan couldn’t shake the feeling that layers of time were overlapping in a most confusing yet welcome way. Surreal barely scraped the tip of describing it.

“All right then,” the DJ crooned over the speakers. “Now that we’ve got your heart pumping, let’s ease back into a slower groove with the Platters and ‘
My Prayer’
.”

A number of people vacated the floor, leaving a few couples including Nan’s married brothers and their wives. With the space emptied of bodies, Nan had a clear shot of her mother once again. Elsie had settled back into her chair, but caught Nan’s wary glance.

Charlie took a sip and lowered his glass.

“Wow, is that your
mother
?” he asked disbelievingly, following Nan’s gaze. “She looks so… glamorous. Is that really her?”

Despite the tightening knot in her stomach, Nan wanted to laugh. Of course, Charlie hadn’t seen her mother since Elsie had traded housedresses for haute couture and a head rag for her weekly coloring appointment at Serendipity. Charlie had yet to meet the
renovated
Elsie.

“Let’s go say hi,” he said, starting toward her mother’s table.

Oh boy, Nan thought. Please, please, please mama, she prayed.

“Mrs. Bower,” Charlie said with genuine happiness as they neared. He leaned down and kissed Elsie on the cheek. Nan was amused to see her mother blush.

“Charlie,” Elsie replied, the hard lines in her face softening as she took his hand. Charlie’s reference to Nan’s mother as ‘Mrs. Bower’ reminded Nan again of the years gone by since she’d seen him. Elsie stood up and gave him a warm hug. Nudging Joe she said:

“It’s so good to see you Charlie. It’s been such a long time! I want to introduce you to my husband Joe. I’m a Hamilton now.”

As if
that
was some sort of accomplishment, Nan groused silently. Elsie neglected going so far as to tell Charlie she’d married Joe a few months after Sam died and Nan wondered what he would think when he heard this little bit of information.

“And since you seem to have gone off and grown up, please, call me Elsie.”

Nan was sort of amazed to see Joe stand up straight and begin energetically shaking Charlie’s hand.

“Joe Hamilton. Good to meet you son.”

Her stepfather was visibly impressed with the bars and stars he saw on the uniform Charlie wore and was indulging her friend with a
real
handshake, rather than the obligatory grip and grin.

“Korea?” Joe asked, pointing at the bronze medal on Charlie’s chest.

“Yes sir. Served up until the end.”

“Good for you, son,” Joe said in an unusually paternal tone. “You stationed over at the yard?”

Nan reached to remember a time when she might have seen Joe look so respectful, but couldn’t readily think of one.

“Yes sir. I’m a free man in November and thinking of settling back down here. There’s a lot to see out there in the world, but Portsmouth is home. Always has been.”

“Well welcome home sailor. Welcome home,” Joe said patting Charlie heartily on the back.

Nan looked at her mother. Who’s this guy, Nan inferred, pointing her thumb at Joe. Elsie shrugged her shoulders.

Joe invited Nan and Charlie to join them at the table, and unable to quickly come up with a reason to decline, Nan looked at Charlie to see what he thought.

“Why not?” he said.

Before they sat, Nan had one more person that Charlie needed to meet.

“Charlie, this is my son, CJ.”

Nan looked at her mother to see if she would interject something snide, but Elsie stayed silent.

Charlie extended his hand, enveloping CJ’s small one in his own.

“Hi CJ. It’s nice to meet you,” he said.

CJ regarded Charlie.

“Are you a pilot?” he asked.

“Nope. I’m a sailor. I wanted to be a pilot, but I’m afraid of heights,” Charlie replied.

Nan saw by Charlie’s expression he wasn’t joking. In hindsight, it occurred to her she couldn’t remember seeing him climb the tall oak trees out back with her brothers a single time when they were young. And yet, he still pulled her up from the ledge without hesitation.

“You
are
?” Nan asked.

“A chink in my armor,” he replied, winking as he pulled out a chair for her next to CJ. He took the one beside her.

“I never been on a boat before,” CJ said. His tone was factual, but Nan thought she heard a hint of want in his statement.

Before Charlie could respond, CJ was done and turned his attention to Nan’s mother.

“Grandmama, can we have cake?” he asked. Elsie looked over at Nan, welcoming her to say something in light of the not-yet-forgotten cookie incident, but Nan just rolled her eyes and stayed quiet.

“Not yet,” Elsie responded. “When Uncle Arthur and Aunt Laura cut it, then everyone can have some.”

Nan jumped when she felt a hand clamp her shoulder. She looked up to see Buddy staring coldly at her. So
there
he was. So much for staying on my toes, she thought. He’d removed his jacket and tie, and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. Regardless of his relaxed dress, Buddy’s lips were tight and unsmiling. Overcome by a sudden wave of anger, Nan narrowed her eyes at him, mutely warning him to back off. She shook his hand from her shoulder as Charlie noticed him.

“Hey Buddy!” Charlie exclaimed, jumping up and clapping her brother’s arm. “How are you man?”

“Good,” Buddy replied, shaking Charlie’s hand, but still not smiling. “I been good. Long time, no see, huh?”

“At least ten years my friend. Still down at the docks?”

“You kidding me? I’ll take my last breath down there, mark my words. So what about you? Uncle Sam still got his hooks in you?”

“Yeah, but just for a few more months. I’m thinking about hanging out here in the old stomping ground for a while. You know, old time’s sake and all that?”

“Hmm,” Buddy replied. “Portsmouth ain’t quite the same Charlie boy, not by a long shot.”

Nan wanted to smack her brother.

“Arthur know you’re here yet?” Buddy asked.

When Charlie said no, Buddy insisted he come with him and say hello. Nan knew without being told that she should stay put, but cast Buddy one more warning look before they walked away.

“Later,” Buddy mouthed as he turned and led Charlie to find Arthur and John.

You betcha’, Nan thought.

“Charlie looks wonderful,” Elsie said once the two men were out of earshot. “Obviously, you’ve noticed.”

“Mama, don’t start,” Nan warned.

“What?” Elsie said with feigned innocence. “I’m not trying to start anything. I’m just making an observation, that’s all.”

“Well, just don’t, okay?”

“Nan, I’m not sure why it would seem so unusual to you that I have some interest in how your life turns out.”

“I know you do, but what you see as best for me and what I see are sometimes two very different things,” Nan warily replied.

“Believe it or not,” Elsie started. “I am an impeccable judge of character, and all I’m saying is that Charlie has character.”

Nan knew her mother was right about Charlie, but given the people Elsie surrounded herself with, character didn’t seem to account for much.

“Don’t look at me that way Nancy,” her mother quipped. “I never said it was required for my acquaintance. Simply that I can spot it a mile away.”

How does she do that
? Nan wondered. Elsie could read Nan’s face like a book and there apparently was a whole novel flashing across it right now.

Nan looked over at her brothers standing across the tent as they saw and welcomed Charlie. Unlike Buddy’s stiff greeting, Arthur and John each gave their friend a bear hug. She kept her eyes on Charlie and smiled in spite of herself, wondering
what if.
It was a dangerous game, one that would send Buddy through the roof if he knew she was playing it, but as long as she limited it to her imagination, what harm could it cause?

“Alright now, by special request…Uncle Louie, raise your hand out there….where are you…ah, there you are…we’ve got Chubby Checker doing
‘The Twist’
right here for you. Can the rest of you keep up?” the disc jockey dared and sent the vinyl spinning.

“Oh, I don’t know CJ,” Nan heard Elsie say.

“C’mon Grandmama,
pleeease
?”

Despite CJ’s usual calm, the music seemed to have wound something up in him.

“
C’mon
Grandmama,” he insisted.

“Okay, okay sweetheart,” Elsie finally relented. “But if grandma can’t leave for Bar Harbor tomorrow because of her back, some little boy is going to be very sorry.”

Nan watched her son lead her mother into the dancing throng and begin rocking his little hips back and forth. CJ laughed as he moved his chubby hands in a window washing motion and the sight of him so lively was touching. Was he starting to feel safe? Was he starting to relax? Nan prayed yes.

Charlie waved to her from across the tent, motioning for her to join him on the dance floor. She paused a moment. It was going to piss Buddy off royally, no doubt. It might also ratchet up Elsie’s interest a notch or two, but she and Joe were leaving in the morning and would be gone for days. So really, that just left Buddy and he was already mad, so what the hell, Nan reasoned and went to meet Charlie.

Nan twisted as she never had before, leaning from one foot to the other, and swiveling her hips as if hula hoops swung from them. Charlie was also putting his all into it, arms undulating like a cross-country skier. Her flailing moves put her squarely in front of CJ and suddenly she and her little boy were dancing together. And he was smiling at
her
. Nan laughed and twisted until she was breathless and had a stitch in her side. It had been years since she’d felt this happy in her own skin and she was amazed at how good it was.