Nantucket (20 page)

“G
ot lobstah?” Sally said with a smile as she maneuvered a big cooler through the screen door and set it on the floor. As soon as she stood up, Tuck jumped up and put his big paws on her shoulders and slobbered her with kisses. “I'm happy to see you too!” she said, laughing. “You look so handsome with your Valentine bandana!” Then she noticed Aidan standing shyly in the doorway. “And you look handsome too,” she said, admiring his blue oxford shirt and paisley bow tie.

“Thanks,” he said as he lifted the top of the cooler and peered inside. “I thought lobsters were red.”

“They are . . . after you cook 'em,” she explained, motioning to the heavy metal pot already heating on the stove.

“How many are here?” he asked, trying to count the crawling brown crustaceans.

“Six.”

“Everyone gets their own?!” he asked in surprise. “I don't know if I can eat a whole one.”

“Well, you don't eat the
whole
thing. The best part is right here,” Sally said, holding up a lobster and pointing to its tail. “There's a lot of meat in here . . . and in the claws, but that's about it. You crack the shell, pull out the meat, and dip it in melted butter with lemon . . . and mm-mm, it's so good, you'll think you died and went to heaven!”

Aidan smiled at Sally's enthusiasm . . . and also because heaven was starting to sound like a pretty good place!

“Hey, Sal,” Liam said, coming into the kitchen, tying his tie.

“Look at you!” Sally said admiringly.

“Look at you, too,” he teased, admiring her white slacks and cobalt blue linen blouse.

“Thank you,” Sally said, looking down and realizing there was dog hair on her slacks. “I knew I shouldn't wear white over here,” she said, laughing, “but I have to make the most of these pants—no white after this weekend, you know, and they probably won't fit after the long winter.”

“You're so old school,” Liam teased. “Lots of people wear white after Labor Day.”

“Not me.”

Aidan, who'd been listening to the conversation, looked up in dismay. “Does that mean I can't wear my new sneakers to school?”

“Yes, you can,” Liam said, shaking his head. “That silly rule doesn't apply to sneakers.”

“That's good,” Aidan said, sounding relieved.

“Do you have more food to bring in?” Liam asked.

“I
do
—I have a potato salad, a Caesar salad, corn on the cob, and carrot cake.”

“Wow! I had no idea you were making so much.”

“Hey,” she said, holding Liam's smooth face in her hands, “such an important event doesn't happen every day . . . and if Coop were here, we'd be having fireworks too.”

Liam smiled and pulled her into a hug. “Thanks, Sally.”

“Can we have fireworks tonight?!” Aidan asked hopefully.

“I'll have to see if there're any left from Coop's stash,” Liam said. “But right now, we need to bring in the rest of the food.”

“Okay!” Aidan said, hopping down to help.

Sally started to follow him, but Liam held out his hand. “The boys and I will get it—it's the least we can do.”

“Okay,” she chuckled. “Maybe I'll go check on the bride . . .”

“Good idea,” Liam said. “She and Emma are getting ready.”

Sally disappeared down the hall and found Cadie and Emma in the throes of trying to pin Cadie's white linen dress—in which she was absolutely swimming.

“Need some help?” Sally asked.

“Yes, please,” Cadie said, shaking her head. “This dress used to fit like a glove, but now I think I could fit two of me in it.”

Sally reached for the pin cushion and skillfully tucked and pinned the dress so that the pins weren't even visible. “Just don't move too much or you'll get pricked,” Sally said, stepping back. “You look lovely!”

“Thank you,” Cadie said, easing into her wheelchair and pulling a blanket over her lap. “Of course, I'll be wearing this blanket, too, so no one will even see my dress.”

“You'd look beautiful wearing a sack,” Emma said, clasping a string of pearls around her neck.

“Mmm,” Cadie murmured doubtfully.

“Anyone up for a little celebratory nectar?” Sally asked, producing a small silver flask.

Cadie raised her eyebrows and smiled as Sally unscrewed the top and handed it to her. She took it from her and noticed there was fancy engraving on the side:
To my sweet Sally . . . Yours Forever, W.E.C.
“Hmm . . .” she said, eyeing Sally. “Is this from Cooper?”

“Maybe,” Sally said with a grin.

Cadie took a sip and handed it to Emma. “Cheers!” Emma said with a grin as she tossed it back, licked her lips, and handed it back to Sally.

“Cheers
and
blessings!” Sally said, winking at Cadie and taking a swallow. Then she slipped the flask back into her bag. “Shall we?”

“Yes,” Cadie said, feeling a little light-headed.

Emma maneuvered the wheelchair into the kitchen and Levi, who was holding the door, grinned and announced, “Here comes the bride!”

“Oh, my!” Cadie said as she looked around at the festively decorated porch. Christmas lights glittered brightly along the wainscoted ceiling and bouquets of white balloons swayed along the railing.

“See the table, Mom?” Aidan asked.

“It looks beautiful!” Cadie said, admiring the white linen tablecloth set with silver, and decorated with flickering candles and white hydrangea blossoms. “You guys . . .” she said, her eyes glistening with tears. “You've made it so special.”

“I helped,” Aidan said happily as Cadie pulled him into a hug.

“Well, it looks lovely.”

Just then, Liam came up the steps carrying a bouquet of blue hydrangea blossoms. He'd put on his jacket and he looked very dapper as he stood in front of her. “That's because it's
for
someone special,” he said with a smile, handing her the freshly cut blooms and kissing her cheek. “
And
there's no crying,” he added, gently brushing away her tears.

“They're not sad tears,” she said, smiling. “They're happy.”

Liam nodded. “Are you ready?” he asked.

“I am—I want to walk, though,” she said, handing him the blanket.

“Okay,” he said, helping her stand and offering her his arm. Together, they walked slowly to where Sally was waiting. Cadie stood as straight as she could, stubbornly ignoring the pain, and gazing into Liam's eyes. Then Sally spoke briefly of their star-crossed past, asked them to repeat the vows they'd prepared, waited as they slid on the gold bands Aidan was holding tightly in his hands, and delivered a lovely benediction. “You may kiss your bride,” she said with a smile.

Liam leaned down, and for the very first time, gently kissed his wife's lips. “I will love you forever,” he whispered, pulling her in his arms

“And I will love
you
for all eternity,” Cadie whispered back.

“Hooray!” Aidan, Levi, and Emma all cheered as Tuck barked and wiggled around them.

“D
inner was delicious, Sally,” Liam said as he nested the last of the empty bowls into the back of her Outback. “And that carrot cake was amazing. I can't thank you enough—you made it so special.”

“You're very welcome, my dear,” Sally said affectionately. “I'm so glad you were able to find some of Coop's old fireworks—I love those rockets, and I think Aidan did too.”

Liam nodded. “
He
did . . . but Tuck definitely didn't. After I lit the first one, I remembered why we stopped shooting them off.”

“It's too bad he gets so upset.”

“It's the same with thunder.”

“Oh, well,” she said with a sigh. “We all have our idiosyncrasies.”

“We do,” Liam agreed with a chuckle.

“Well, you better get back to your girl,” Sally said, nodding toward Cadie, who was still sitting near the fire. “It's been a long day.”

“It has been, but she never complains; she just soldiers on, no matter how she's feeling.”

“That's a rare trait. If it were me, I'd be a cranky, old bitch.”

“No, you wouldn't,” he said with a smile.

“You're a good guy, Li,” Sally said, hugging him. “Your uncle, in spite of his shortcomings, did a good job raising you . . . and I'm sure you'll do a good a job, too—if not better—raising Aidan.”

“We'll see,” he said.

“Have a good night.”

“You too. Talk to you soon.”

“You better!” Sally said, waving.

Liam watched her go and then walked over and sat beside Cadie. “Should I throw more wood on?”

“No . . . not for me anyway,” she said, looking up at the stars. “I hate for this night to end, but I'm afraid I'm fading fast.”

Liam nodded and reached for her hand. “That's fine.”

“Did you thank Sally?”

“I did.”

“I'm sorry I couldn't help clean up.”

“The bride doesn't get kitchen duty.”

“I know, but the kids ended up doing it all.”

“They didn't mind, and besides, they're already done. I think they've even gone to bed . . . I know Aidan's sound asleep with Tuck curled up next to him.”

Cadie nodded. “It was all so nice. . . .”

“Mmm,” Liam agreed, squeezing her hand.

“Everything was delicious—I wish I could've eaten more.” She watched the bright orange sparks of light from the fire shoot up into the night sky; then her eyes were drawn to several white blossoms on the stone wall. “Are those moonflowers?!”

Liam followed her gaze. “Yes, Coop planted them a long time ago, and now, the vine has completely taken over.”

Cadie smiled. “When I was a little girl, my grandfather had a moonflower vine and he and I would sit out on summer nights and wait for the blossoms to open. He used to say that those little flowers, blooming at night, were a reminder that God never stopped working . . . or caring for us—even in the darkest of times. Isn't it funny that I should be reminded of that now?”

Liam smiled. “I don't know. It seems to me someone recently told me that God's timing is perfect.”

“Me?” Cadie said with a laugh.

Liam nodded. “So, is this the same grandfather who had the runabout named
Stardust
?”

“It is,” Cadie said in surprise. “How did you remember that?!”

“I remember everything,” Liam said with a smile.

“But that was a long time ago.”

“I still remember.”

“You would've liked him . . . and he you—he wasn't anything like my parents.”

“He was your mom's dad, right?”

“Yes, and my uncles were all great men, too, but my mother—who was the youngest and only girl—was always a challenge . . . at least, according to my grandfather.”

“I guess it doesn't matter how good you are at parenting,” Liam said, shaking his head. “Some kids are just born difficult. Look at John Alden—he's a great guy, but his son Jordy isn't anything like him.” He paused. “And look at you! Look at the amazing person you are . . . in spite of your parents.”

Cadie laughed. “That's true. Although my biggest fault was not being strong enough to break free and follow my heart . . . and look where it got me.”

“It got you here . . .” Liam said, “married to me.”

“Which took a while . . .
but
which, I also think is absolutely
the
most amazing thing!”

“Me too,” Liam said, standing up and gently lifting her into his arms. He kissed her, carried her inside, and helped her change into her pajamas.

“Lay with me,” she whispered.

Liam unbuttoned his dress shirt and lay down next to her.

“I'm sure you can do better than that,” she teased.

“What do you mean?” he asked softly, leaning on one arm.

Cadie hesitated uncertainly.
Is there any way on earth that this sweet, gorgeous man could ever be aroused by my frail, cancer-ravaged body? Or will he be embarrassed when he isn't? Will I ruin everything by asking him?
She closed her eyes and willed herself to speak. “I won't break.”

Liam touched her cheek and searched her eyes. “Are you sure?”

She nodded, and in the soft glow of the moon's light, Liam slowly undressed and slipped under the covers beside her. “Mmm, you're so warm,” she murmured, feeling his long, muscular body pressing against hers.

“I don't want to hurt you,” he murmured, gently kissing her lips.

“You won't . . .” she said, feeling him hard against her.

“I want you so much,” he whispered, lightly tracing his fingers over the curves of her body.

“I want you too,” she murmured, touching him.

They lay side by side, exploring each other's body, until finally, he eased above her and slowly pushed himself deep inside. . . and then they both caught their breath, forgetting everything. . . the past . . . the pain . . . the longing . . . the loss, and loving with an intimacy and abandon that knew no bounds.

T
he calendar promised two more weeks of summer, but by Tuesday morning, the warm weather definitely seemed to be in the rearview mirror. Liam glanced at the thermometer when he let Tuck and Moby out into the darkness and shivered. It was barely forty degrees. “What the heck happened to summer?”

He went back inside and peered into Aidan's room. “Hey, pal,” he called softly. “It's time to get up.”

“I don't want to go,” Aidan said tearfully.

“How come?” Liam asked, sitting on the edge of his bed. “You've been looking forward to it all weekend.”

“I just don't.”

Liam lightly brushed back his wispy blond hair. “Mrs. Polley has your desk all ready and she's going to be waiting for you.”

“I
just
don't want to go,” Aidan said, turning away.

Liam took a deep breath and shook his head.
Now what? I can't just let him lie here and not go—kids don't skip school just because they don't feel like going. Do I sternly demand he get up, get dressed, and have breakfast? Or do I just leave him because there's a lot going on in his world right now?
Liam looked out into the darkness and tried to remember how he'd felt on his first day of school. It had been just after Christmas break and he vaguely remembered feeling nervous and homesick, missing his parents....
And what had Cooper done?

“How'd you like to go to Sally's for breakfast?” he asked.

“Today?” Aidan said, his voice muffled by his pillow.

“Yes. On the way to school.”

“Can Mom come?”

Liam hesitated, recalling the pain Cadie had had over the weekend. “You can ask her, but I think she'll probably want to stay home.”

Just then, Tuck let out a plaintive bark.

“Can Tuck come?”

“Sure,” Liam said.

“Okay,” Aidan said, sitting up and pushing off his covers. “Is Mom making my lunch?”

“No, I am, remember? We talked about this—all the things you like.”

“PB and J.”

“And tropical punch.”

“And yogurt and cookies.”

Liam nodded. “I think I can handle it.”

“Don't forget the special ingredient,” Aidan reminded.

“What's that?”

“Love—Mom always says love is what makes everything taste so good.”

“Oh,” Liam said, pulling him into a hug and feeling how small he was. “If we're going to go to Sally's, you need to get up and get dressed.”

“Aye, aye, Captain,” Aidan said, saluting him with a grin.

Liam chuckled and headed back to the kitchen to let Tuck and Moby in.

Five minutes later, Aidan appeared, dressed in a T-shirt and shorts, and Liam looked up from making coffee and shook his head. “You're gonna need more on than—”

“I tried to wake Mom to see if she wanted to go,” Aidan interrupted in a worried voice, “but she won't wake up.”

“What?!” Liam said, a shadow falling over his face. He tousled Aidan's hair as he hurried past him. “Cadie?” he said, trying to control his voice. “Cadie,” he repeated, stroking her cheek. It felt cold and he reached for her hand. “Hey, Cade . . .” He pressed his fingers against her wrist and felt a faint pulse.

“Is everything okay?” Levi asked, coming into the room with Emma behind him, pulling on her robe.

Liam nodded as Cadie stirred and opened her eyes. “Hey, Cade,” he said softly.

“Hey,” she said groggily, looking around. “How come you're all here? What's the matter?”

“Nothing's the matter,” Liam assured her.

But then Aidan leaned against her bed and innocently explained, “I tried to wake you to see if you wanted to go to Sally's for breakfast, but you wouldn't wake up.”

“Oh,” Cadie said, looking confused.

Liam looked at Levi and they each knew what the other was thinking—
it's just a matter of time ...

Finally, Emma broke the silence. “So, you two are going to Sally's?” she asked, putting her hand on Aidan's shoulders.

“Mm-hmm,” Aidan said with a nod.

“Well, you're going to have to put on long pants and a sweatshirt,” Emma said with a shiver. “It's chilly.” She guided Aidan back to his room and left Liam and Levi alone with Cadie.

“How're you feeling?” Liam asked, squeezing her hand.

“Tired,” she said. “And I need to use the bathroom.”

“Do you want me to carry you?”

“Sure,” she said with a weak smile, knowing there was no way she'd make it on her own.

Liam looked at Levi. “Want to finish packing Aidan's lunch?”

Levi nodded, his eyes glistening.

Ten minutes later, after helping Cadie back to bed and assuring her everything was okay, Liam reappeared in the kitchen. “I know you need to pick up your paintings today,” he said, “but do you mind staying here until I get back from taking Aidan to school?”

“I don't mind,” Levi said.

“When he woke up, he didn't want to go to school, so I bribed him with breakfast at Sally's.”

“Bribery's good,” Levi said with a smile as he slipped a juice box into the canvas lunch bag. “In fact, breakfast is a good idea—he adores Sally. How come he didn't want to go to school?” he asked, looking puzzled. “I thought he was looking forward to it.”

“I thought so too. I don't know if he's nervous or if he's afraid to leave her.”

Levi nodded. “I know how he feels. Emma and I were planning to take the paintings back to Boston after we picked them up, but now I'm afraid to go that far—I'm afraid I won't be able to get back . . .”

“Nothing's going to happen today,” Liam said. “You
should
go.”

“How do you know that? How will
we
know . . . ?”

Liam shook his head. “I don't know.”

“Are you ready, Cap?” Aidan asked, coming into the kitchen wearing jeans, his new sneakers, a sweatshirt, and his backpack.

Levi frowned.
“Cap?”

“It's short for captain,” Aidan said with a grin.

Levi realized he'd never heard Aidan address Liam by any name—he'd never called him Liam or Mr. Tate
or
Dad—and it suddenly dawned on him that he probably hadn't known
what
to call him.

“Don't forget your lunch,” Emma said, turning him around, unzipping the top of his backpack, and slipping his lunch inside.

“So much for a shower,” Liam said, running his hand through his hair, pulling a flannel shirt on over his T-shirt, and reaching for his keys. “There're eggs,” he said, nodding to the fridge.

“That's all right,” Levi said, holding up his coffee mug.

“We're all set. We'll grab something on the way too.”

“Okay,” Liam said. “I'll be back in a bit.”

“Have a good day, pal,” Levi said, giving Aidan a high five before pulling him into a hug.

“Bye, love,” Emma said, hugging him too.

“Do you want to say good-bye to Mom?” Levi suggested, and then wished he hadn't.

“Sure,” Aidan said, hurrying down the hall. They all stood silently, waiting, and when he reappeared, he said, “She was asleep, so I just gave her a kiss.”

“Okay, let's go,” Liam said, holding the door.

“C'mon, Tuck,” Aidan called, and the big dog almost knocked him over as he hurried out the door.

After the truck pulled away, Emma poured a cup of coffee and headed down the hall to take a shower, and Levi wandered back to his mom's room and sat on the edge of her bed. “Oh, Mom,” he whispered. “Please don't go yet.” Then he just sat there, watching her breathe, time slipping by.

“Hey,” Emma said, peering into the room. “Your turn.”

Levi nodded, stood up, and followed her back to Coop's old room.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Not really,” he said, sinking onto their unmade bed and holding his head in his hands.

Emma put her arm around him. “I'm so sorry, Levi,” she said softly. “Waiting is pure hell.”

Levi nodded, tears filling his eyes.

“My granddad had cancer,” Em continued, “and the end was miserable for everyone—it's a terrible way to go. Terrible for everyone.” She paused. “Did you know it's legal in Oregon for doctors to assist a person who is terminally ill in death?”

“No,” Levi said, shaking his head. “They should make it legal everywhere. I hate seeing her in so much pain. It's inhumane to make people suffer . . . and it's inhumane to make their families suffer.”

“I couldn't agree more,” Emma said.

“I don't want her to die,” Levi said, his voice choked with emotion, “but at the same time, I just want it to be over . . . and the only way for it to
be
over is for her to die. It's crazy, Em. I feel so selfish.”

“You're not selfish, Le. You're a wonderful son and you've been there for your mum every step of the way. Your love is why you're suffering so much. It's perfectly normal to want the pain and misery to end . . . the human spirit can only take so much.”

Levi groaned in anguish. “Where is God in all this?”

“He's closer than your own breathing,” Emma whispered, searching his eyes.

Levi shook his head. “I know one thing—if I ever get sick, we're moving to Oregon.”

Emma smiled. “Same for me.”

He reached for his towel. “Thanks for being here, Em,” he said, gently kissing her cheek.

 

Liam parked in front of Cuppa Joe and Aidan hopped down as Tuck trotted up the worn steps. “Wait for us,” Aidan called. They went inside and Tuck immediately wiggled his way behind the counter.

“Well, hello there!” Sally said, laughing.

Aidan gave her a hug. “We're here for breakfast.”

“You are?”

“Mm-hmm . . . we're on our way to school.”

“Well, what can I get you?”

“A blueberry muffin!”

“Make that two,” Liam said wearily as he reached for a coffeepot.

Sally took two huge blueberry muffins out of the glass case and looked over at the tall, dark haired boy with horn-rimmed glasses working behind the counter. “Jase, you okay for a minute?”

Jase flashed a smile as he made change for a customer. “Yup.”

Then Sally turned back to Liam. “How is she?” she asked as the muffins heated.

“Not good,” Liam said, shaking his head. “She's in a lot of pain and she's needed so much morphine, she's hardly ever awake.”

“That's what happens,” Sally said, putting the warm muffins down on the table and joining them. As soon as she sat down, Tuck moseyed over to rest his head on her lap. “I hate to say this, Liam, but it probably won't be much longer. . . .”

Liam nodded and looked over at Aidan to see if he knew what they were talking about, but he was busy peeling the paper off his muffin. “Sally, can you open this for me?” he asked, sliding his milk carton toward her.

“Sure, hon,” she said, prying open the cardboard top. “Are you ready for your first day?”

“I guess so,” he said, swinging his feet.

“Mrs. Polley is a wonderful teacher.”

“I know,” he said, taking a sip from his straw.

“She comes in here on her way to school sometimes.”

“She does?!” Aidan said in surprise, looking around.

“Mm-hmm, but probably not today—she's probably already
at
school today, getting ready.”

Aidan nodded, his body swaying slightly to the rhythm of his swinging legs.

“Is Lisa coming today?” Sally asked, turning back to Liam.

“Yes,” he said, glancing at his watch as he sipped his coffee.

“Well, I think you should talk to her about having someone there round the clock.”

“I will,” Liam said.

“Do you want me to wrap your muffin?”

Liam looked down and realized he hadn't even taken a bite. He smiled sadly. “I guess so . . . sorry.”

“Don't be sorry, hon. You can have it later when you're hungry.” She disappeared behind the counter and came back with a waxed paper bag.

“Thanks, Sally,” Liam said, standing. “Thank you for everything.”

Sally gave him a hug. “You're more than welcome, my dear. Please keep me posted.”

“I will.”

Sally turned to Aidan and scooped him up. “Have a great first day, hon . . . and tell Mrs. Polley I said hello—she and I go way back.”

“I will,” Aidan said, wrapping his arms tightly around Sally's neck.

She set him down and held Tuck's head in her hands. “You be good, too, mister,” she said, and Tuck licked her cheek and wagged his tail as if to say, “I will.”