Nantucket Romance 3-in-1 Bundle (99 page)

“I know this is . . . awkward . . .”

You think?

“But I’d rather address it and move forward than pretend there’s no white elephant in the room.”

Sabrina clutched her bag in her lap and watched an ant traverse the step below them. White elephants were underrated.

“The other night I—” He raked his hand through his hair like he might find the rest of the words in there somewhere. “I know you must be confused by what happened.”

The kiss flashed in her mind, along with all the feelings it had evoked: desire, tenderness, joy. She had to stop this.

“I’m not sorry,” he said in that deep voice that made her miss all those other things email lacked.

He was looking at her, but she was not going to look back. She wasn’t. She’d be lost if she did. The other night, darkness had veiled her emotions, but now it was daylight, and she didn’t know if she could conceal her thoughts. She was weak, fresh from the memory of that kiss.

“Unfortunately,” he continued, “I can’t explain why I kissed you. But I don’t regret it.”

The words brought a mixture of relief and fear and confusion. He couldn’t explain? It made no sense. If he were in love with Sweetpea/Arielle, shouldn’t he be sorry? Wouldn’t his actions make him a first-rate jerk? Yet, she knew Tucker, and that description didn’t fit. Not by a long shot.

“I’m sorry for the confusion I’ve caused. I want to be friends, and my only regret is that I’ve made things awkward between us.”

Friends? Is that what they were? And what would happen when Arielle went home? Or would Tucker ask her cousin to stay? What reason could Arielle give for refusing to see him again, and where would that leave their online relationship? Why did this have to be so confusing?

“Sabrina?”

She had to focus. “Yes?” The black ant was hauling a chunk of something half the size of its body. Probably taking it home to feed its family of five.

Tucker bumped her shoulder, playfully.

She looked at him and fell smack into his shadowed blue eyes. As if the sight of him awakened her other senses, she became aware of his musky cologne, of his hip grazing hers. Have mercy. She could almost taste the kiss they’d shared, feel the tenderness of his lips as they brushed hers.

Now, she watched as those lips parted, as if he were fixing to speak. Her gaze flitted back to his eyes. Yes, he was about to say something. Something important.

She felt herself being pulled in, and she went willingly, all her fight draining away.

And then a memory. The smell of cigarette smoke, the taste of alcohol, the sound of a sheet ripping clear of a mattress.

She cleared her throat and broke eye contact. “Everything’s fine, Tucker. Thanks for stopping by.” She stood and clutched her bag to her stomach like a leather shield. “I’ll have Arielle call when she returns.”

She brushed past him, her feet taking the steps quickly as if she were late for an appointment. She heard Tucker’s quiet goodbye in the beat between steps and wished her own life crisis could be tweaked and reworked like the plot of one of Renny’s stories.

Sweetpea: Why is it so hard to get back on track once something has derailed? Your faith journey, your relationships, your career . . . sometimes it seems like the impossible task.

Chapter Thirty

Sabrina toweled off, then slipped into her favorite capris and a button-down blouse. She cleared the fog from the mirror and ran a comb through her wet hair. Arielle had been gone when she’d returned from work, probably out buying something else for the loft. The air smelled of paint, and the kitchen walls were still damp.

Sabrina surveyed the pale yellow she’d approved several days ago. It was drying to a nice buttery color. Arielle had worked hard to get it painted over the weekend.

The furniture had been rearranged again too. Sabrina frowned as she surveyed the room. Maybe she would get used to it.

She shook the thought and checked the time. Sabrina thought she and Arielle might go to ’Sconset to see the village and take a stroll along the Bluff Walk. Arielle would love the doll-sized houses in ’Sconset and the tiny picturesque gardens. It was Sabrina’s favorite part of the island.

They could make sandwiches and take a picnic up to Sankaty Head Lighthouse. It was the least she could do after all the work her cousin had done. Arielle hadn’t seen much of the island and, although she hadn’t complained, it seemed a waste. Maybe on her next day off they could go out to Altar Rock for a view of the moors, cranberry bogs, and harbor. It was Sabrina’s favorite view from the island.

Sabrina worked her hair quickly into a ponytail. It would be nice to spend time with her cousin. And with Jaylee’s wedding looming only a few weeks out, she needed the wedding details so she could mentally prepare.

Between the frustration of Renny’s disclosure and her confusion at Tucker’s declaration of love, the idea of escaping the house, getting away from work, and hanging with her cousin appealed.

In the kitchen, she fished the deli roast beef from the fridge and made a quick sandwich for herself. She filled a pita with the deviled tofu Arielle made the day before, wrinkling her nose at the tangy smell and chunky texture. A wedge of cheese and a bag of chips rounded out the meal. She bagged it and set it in the fridge; then, as she closed the door, she heard Arielle enter the loft.

Her cousin rounded the corner, her ponytail swinging and her cheeks flushed.

She set a bag on the counter. “It is so gorgeous out there! I found a couple cute baskets at a shop in town,” Arielle said.

“Thanks.” Sabrina pulled the two Nantucket baskets from the bag, one a tightly woven cane with cherrywood rims, the other a door hanger basket in a pleasant honey color. “I like them.” She set the baskets to the side, then poured two glasses of iced tea.

“Thanks.” Arielle gulped half the glass at once. “Say, is Renny all right? I saw her on my way in, and she was raking the same patch of mulch over and over. She didn’t even respond when I said hello.”

Sabrina told Arielle about her confrontation with Renny over the manuscripts.

“She’s been stuffing her stories in a drawer all this time? But isn’t she paying you?”

“Indirectly. She lets me stay here in return for my help.”

“What does that mean for you? Aren’t you two pretty close?”

“I’m not worried about the apartment. Renny wants me to stay.”

Sabrina rinsed her glass and set it in the sink. “What exasperates me is that she doesn’t recognize her own talent. You know I don’t dish out undeserved compliments, but that woman can write.” Sabrina slapped the counter with her palm. “It’s so frustrating. But at least now I know the problem isn’t with a bunch of incompetent editors.”

“No, it’s a crazy writer who doesn’t believe in herself.”

“Apparently.”

“Can’t you send the stories?”

“I was going to. Renny went postal on me.” She’d thought Renny was going to rip her arm off when she reached for those manuscripts. “And she’s right. It’s not my place. I can’t make her want to risk rejection.”

A thoughtful silence settled between them. Maybe with time Renny would find the courage to send her manuscripts. Sabrina had done all she could, and she’d have to let it go.

Enough brooding. They had the whole afternoon ahead of them. “I have a surprise. I packed a picnic and thought I’d take you up to Sankaty Head and ’Sconset. It’s my favorite place on the island. You have to see—what’s wrong?”

“I didn’t know you were planning something. Tucker asked if I could go for a boat ride to the other side of the island. I just have enough time for a bath and—hey, I have an idea.”

“Why am I thinking I’m not going to like this?”

“Why don’t you come along?” Arielle said with the enthusiasm of someone who’d just invented fried tomatoes.

“Like I want to be the third wheel of your bicycle built for two. No, thanks.”

“Come on. We can bring your picnic. It’ll be fun.”

“Fun.”

Arielle frowned. “It’s not like you have anything better to do. You’ll only sit here with your nose in a book.”

“I like having my nose in a book.” But even as she protested, her mind went there. She missed Tucker. She wanted to be with him. Heaven knew she’d relived those moments on the boat a thousand times. But this wouldn’t be like that night. Instead she’d be subjected to watching Tucker fuss over Arielle, watching him touch Arielle, watching him gaze at Arielle as if she hung the moon. Same boat, different day.

“Again, no, thanks. The whole idea was for you to put your time in with him, remember? We had a deal.”

Arielle stared her down, her jaw jutting out.

Stubborn. Sabrina crossed her arms. Let her stare. It wasn’t going to work.

Her cousin finally surrendered. “Fine, be that way. It’s not like he’s a pill to go out with.” Arielle stood, and, with a flip of her ponytail, exited the room. “I’m taking a bath.”

“This isn’t working,” Arielle called over the wind.

Tucker watched Arielle’s hair settle on her shoulders as he slowed the boat and shut off the motor. Water lapped the hull as the boat drew to a stop and seagulls called from the beach. In the distance, the red and white of Sankaty Head Lighthouse was barely visible.

“What’s not working?” he asked.

“This whole Sabrina thing. We have to kick it up a notch.”

The words opened a hole in his gut. He hated this. He was starting to wish Arielle would go back to wherever she came from so he could pick up the pieces of his relationship with Sabrina.

“Are you mentioning our dates in your emails?” she asked. “Details and stuff that’ll make her jealous?”

“Not really. I don’t want to hurt Sabrina. I hate thinking about how she feels, knowing I’m with another woman. If it were me, it would be driving me crazy enough without the details.” It had bugged him just to watch Cody ogling her, asking her over for dinner. He couldn’t imagine how he’d feel if she were right next door with another man.

The sun was sinking in the sky, glowing pink behind a thin layer of clouds. Maybe it was time to call it quits. It was getting him nowhere. He wanted Sabrina to tell him who she was, but if she were going to, she would’ve done it by now. At this point, he just wanted the intimacy he’d had with her on email. Her letters were different since Arielle arrived, guarded. And how could he blame her?

He shifted toward Arielle. “Maybe it’s time for a change of plans.”

“What’d you have in mind?” A dainty brow arched.

“Have you considered going home early?”

“Tonight?”

“No, I mean leaving the island.”

Her mouth parted, then slowly a look of hurt dimmed the light in her eyes. He didn’t know what to make of that. It wasn’t like they were buddies or something. She was there to help him achieve his goal, to help Sabrina lower that wall.

“This has been harder than I thought,” Tucker said. “And we’re not making headway with Sabrina.”

“We need to give it more time.”The hurt look was gone, shadowed by some other expression he couldn’t interpret. “What if she sees us together more?”

“You already tried to convince her to come tonight. She’s not going to agree to that. Can you blame her?”

“What if I invite you over when she’s not expecting it?”

He sighed. “Arielle . . . I don’t want to hurt her any more.” God knew that was the truth. He had to do something soon before his relationship with Sabrina was damaged beyond repair.

“I love her,” he said. He needed Arielle to understand how difficult this charade had become.

That look again. What was up with that?

“Maybe we can arrange for you and Sabrina to be together again, alone,” she said finally.

“I don’t think she’s going to buy another illness.” Still, the idea of being alone with her was tempting. If only they could make it work.

“I get migraines sometimes. Sabrina won’t think anything is amiss if I have to bail out on a date at the last minute.”

Maybe that would work. Still . . . “Last time we were alone, it didn’t go so well. Actually it went too well.” He grinned, feeling sheepish at his admission. “I seem to be short on self-control where your cousin is concerned.”