Read Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List Online

Authors: Rachel Cohn

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Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List

Rachel
Cohn
and David
Levithan

This edition first published in 2008

First published in 2007 in the USA by Alfred A. Knopf

Copyright © David Levithan and Rachel Cohn, 2007

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The
Australian Copyright Act 1968
(the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or ten per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act.

Allen & Unwin
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Crows Nest NSW 2065
Australia
Phone:     (61 2) 8425 0100
Fax:          (61 2) 9906 2218
Email:      [email protected]
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www.allenandunwin.com

National Library of Australia
Cataloguing-in-Publication entry:

Cohn, Rachel.

Naomi and Ely’s no kiss list / Rachel Cohn; David Levithan.

ISBN: 9781741754865 (pbk.)

Subjects: Interpersonal relations — Fiction.
Homosexuality — Fiction.
Dating (Social customs) — Fiction.
New York (N.Y.) — Fiction.

Cover design by Sandra Nobes
Printed in Australia by McPhersons Printing Group

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

To Nancy the First

Thanks to our friends, family, and teen author crew, as always. For this book, specific thanks to Anna, Martha, Nick, Patty, Robin, all the kind folks at Knopf (with a special shoutout to Nancy, Allison, and Noreen), and the fine people at William Morris (particularly Alicia and Jennifer). And thank you to the fans who write to us; you always make our day.

CONTENTS

NAOMI SHIVER

BRUCE THE SECOND DIAL

BRUCE THE FIRST INSOMNIA

ELY KEY

NAOMI ORBIT

ELY KNOCKDOWN

ROBIN
VELMA

BRUCE THE SECOND MUTANT

NAOMI MO(U)RNING

ELY WEEKIVERSARY

KELLY BINGO

NAOMI REALIZE

GABRIEL TRACKS

BRUCE THE SECOND OUT

STARBUCKS NAOMI

BRUCE THE FIRST LIKEWISE

ROBIN
FRIENDS

GABRIEL TIGER

BRUCE THE SECOND FAIR

NAOMI UP

ELY EASY

NAOMI EXPECTATION

ELY CORNER

NAOMI CLOSETS

ELY CLOSE

NAOMI

SHIVER

I lie all the time.

I lied to Mrs. Loy from the fourteenth floor when I assured her that I walked her dog three times a day and watered her plants while she went to Atlantic City to win the money for her son’s sad operation (or for her own elective plastic surgery— I’m not sure).

I lied to the co-op board of my family’s apartment building about my mom’s episode that left our living room wall in partial collapse soon after Dad left. I also backed up Mom’s lies to the board that we’d pay for the damage. Monkeys will fly outta my butt before we’ll be able to come up with the money to fix the fallout. The way I figure, if Mom and I aren’t bothered by living in ruins, why should the co-op board care?

I lied to the NYU Admissions Committee that I care about my future and my education. I’m barely a year out of high school, and already I know this NYU deal is a losing proposition. I live out the college freshman lie to hold on to the only thing in my life that’s not in ruins—Ely.

I lied to Robin
from psych class when I assured her that Robin
from that time at the Starbucks at Eighth and University
her and will call her. There’s no $$$ for me to move into the school dorms, and Robin’s a sophomore with a rare single who goes home on the weekends and lets me use her place when I need to escape The Building. The apartment building where I’ve lived my whole life may be situated on prime Greenwich Village real estate, but escape from it is my prime priority: escape from parent drama or my lies or Mr. McAllister, the creepy up-and-down elevator man who lives down the hall from Mrs. Loy and who’s been ogling me since I was thirteen and my breasts first announced themselves in the elevator mirror.

I’ve lied to Mom every time I’ve told her I’ve stayed the night at Robin’s when really I’ve stayed over at my boyfriend’s dorm room. I lie to myself that I need to lie about my whereabouts. It’s not like Bruce the Second and I are doing it. We’re more about a
in bed, then turn out the light, and
—just sleep—’til he leaves in the morning for his
accounting class. I lie to him that I think accounting is a worthwhile subject to study.

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