Nash (11 page)

should try and up our game some as well. I love this place, love what we do, so why not take it to the next

level?”

“That means whoever we hire to manage these shops in place of Cora is going to have to be a perfect

fit. You don’t happen to know anyone that can fill that role, do ya?”

I automatically patted the pocket of my hoodie looking for a smoke and almost threw a fit when I came

up empty. Quitting sucked and I sucked at quitting, but I was trying hard, and every time I saw Phil in that

bed it made it a little bit easier.

Rowdy shook his blond head and pulled the collar of his quilted flannel up around his neck.

“Nope, but you’ll find someone. You have great instincts about people and Rule is like the gatekeeper

from hell, not to mention whoever you hire has to pass the Cora test. You need to give yourself some credit,

Nash. This is Phil’s life, his legacy … of course you’re the only one he would trust with it. We’re family, he

wanted you to carry on the tradition and keep this place a home. You’ve got this, brother. Have some faith.”

I just grunted and turned to walk to where the Charger was parked. Light flurries of snow were starting

to blanket the ground.

I glanced at him when he asked, “Hey, I heard your new neighbor is a solid ten. What’s up with that?”

I lifted a shoulder and let it fall. What was up with that was that her hair was the wrong color of red and

her eyes were dark, not a lulling, gentle gray.

“Too busy, too jacked up over Phil … I dunno. Swing by for a beer and you can introduce yourself.”

He didn’t respond, just gave me a look. A look that clearly stated if I wasn’t trying to actively get in the

hot neighbor’s pants, something else was going on. Luckily it was freezing, so neither one of us wanted to

hang out on the sidewalk, and I got to cleanly escape without floundering around for a weak excuse as to

my real reasons for not throwing all my considerable game at the hottie across the hall.

When I got to the hospital, it was almost nine. I tried to park close so I didn’t have to trek to the front

door and freeze my balls off on the way, but fate wasn’t working for me and it took me five minutes to

walk around the side of the complex to the front doors after finally finding a spot. I was muttering under

my breath about needing a cigarette and rubbing my hands together to keep them warm when I came to a

stumbling halt as I cleared the corner of the main building.

Saint was pacing back and forth on the sidewalk. The lights from the building were casting her in an

ethereal and glinting light, like the heavens above were illuminating her with their glow, making each

snowflake trapped in her amazing hair glimmer. She wasn’t just
called
Saint … it was like some unknown

force was trying to push me into seeing her as so much more. Her normally restrained hair was all over the

place, rioting around her pale face like fire and copper. Snowflakes were gathering in the loose strands but

she didn’t seem to notice. She was dressed in her scrubs, no coat or gloves, and the cold didn’t seem to

have any effect on her as she meandered back and forth. She was moving frantically, her arms crossed

tightly around her chest like she was trying to give herself a bear hug.

I knew she didn’t want to have anything to do with me, that she wanted to pretend I didn’t exist, but I

couldn’t just walk by her without asking her what was wrong, without seeing if she was okay. I wasn’t that

kind of person, and more importantly it actually mattered to me why she was out here when she was

obviously upset, and why she didn’t have a coat or anything on when it was so cold out.

“Saint?”

I called her name softly and moved a little closer. When she turned around I could see the frozen tracks

of tears on her cheeks and could practically feel the coiled tension coming off her body. I was surprised the

snow that was landing on her face and clinging to her eyelashes didn’t melt right off with all the heat and

energy she was throwing off.

“Are you all right?”

She blinked at me like she didn’t recognize me, and I thought maybe it was the hat covering my head.

She opened her mouth and then let it snap close again like words just wouldn’t come out. Her arms fell to

her sides and she just stared at me, not saying anything or moving for a long moment. I was about to

apologize for bothering her, yet again, when she suddenly moved toward me … she lurched like she had

come untethered from the earth. I had no idea what she was doing, but the expression on her face was

intent and focused, so I braced for her to smack me across the face or put a knee in my balls. With this girl I

just never knew which way the tide was going to turn.

I wasn’t prepared for her to throw herself against my chest. I was so startled I actually had to take a step

back as I wrapped my arms around her waist. She put her hands up around my shoulders and curled her

freezing-cold fingers under the collar of my hoodie and dug her fingers into the back of my neck. Her

breasts smashed into my chest and her long hair coiled around my fingers where I was holding on to her

lower back. It was silky and cool, like touching frost on a pane of glass. I was dumbfounded, trying to

figure out what she was doing, when she slammed her mouth across mine. Good thing she was tall and

didn’t have to reach very far because if I had been holding her up, there was a good chance I might have

dropped her right back to the ground in surprise.

Her mouth was hot, frantic, wild, and desperate. She tasted like winter and some kind of tangy citrus. I

knew this because she didn’t hesitate to roll her tongue into my startled mouth. I had been kissed by a lot of

girls, probably too many over the years, and not one of them sent me from comfortable to feeling like my

boxers were ten sizes too small in a fraction of a second the way Saint did. It wasn’t even that it was a great

kiss. There was something behind it, something with more edge, more meaning than any other kiss I could

remember. The way her soft lips felt pressed tightly against mine, the way she used her teeth with just

enough bite, the way her short nails dug into the tendons on either side of my neck turned me inside out.

If we hadn’t been standing outside getting snowed on, hadn’t been standing in the middle of a sidewalk,

I would have pushed her against a wall … hell, I would’ve found a soft spot on the ground and let her

work out whatever was hounding her in the sexiest, nastiest way possible. If she needed a physical release

to get her emotions out, I would be only too happy to volunteer my time and my body. I had a sinking

suspicion if I was ever lucky enough to get her naked, I would never let her put on clothes around me

again.

She slid her hands around to the front of my face and grabbed both of my cheeks. She started to shiver,

and when she pulled back I was stuck in the rolling thunderstorm that was her gaze. I moved one hand up

and wiped away a single, crystal tear that was stuck on her eyelash with my knuckle. She let out a

shuddering sigh and closed her eyes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to attack you with my mouth.” She sounded embarrassed and sad at the same

time.

I burst out laughing and took a step back as she let her hands fall. Some of her awareness must have

come back because she started to shake. I sighed and pulled the zipper on my hoodie down so that I could

hand it over to her. She looked at me silently for a second and then took it.

“Saint, you can attack me with any part of you at any given moment of any day. I will not complain …

ever.”

She laughed a little shakily.

“Thanks.”

“Do you wanna talk about what has you out in the snow pacing back and forth?”

It was a long shot. She never seemed to really want to talk to me, but she still looked so haunted, I had

to ask.

She shook her head and shoved her hands through her hair. Some of the red strands floated up like a

halo around her head.

“It’s been busy all week. The weather makes things insane and it’s flu season. I can typically handle

everything that comes through the door. Sometimes it can get overwhelming and breaks my heart, but I do

my job and can typically wait until I get home to process it all or fall apart.”

I couldn’t even imagine what she had to deal with on a day-to-day basis. Rule’s twin brother, Remy, had

been brought to this very ER when he had crashed his car on the interstate in a horrific accident. He hadn’t

made it and it occurred to me that was something she had to see all the time.

“Today a teenage girl was rushed in. Her parents found her overdosed in the bathroom. She was just a

baby really, had her entire life in front of her, but she swallowed an entire bottle of pills because kids at her

school were picking on her, bullying her. They were being mean to her, calling her awful names on the

Internet, and she just couldn’t take it anymore.”

I saw her bottom lip quiver before she trapped it between her teeth. Her eyes lifted back up to mine and

the gray had turned slate. I wondered if she was seeing her teenage self in that patient, and felt a twinge of

remorse that I hadn’t paid more attention to her back then.

“I see death and tragedy all the time and nothing makes it worse than when it’s totally senseless. All she

needed was some niceness, some basic human kindness, and she wouldn’t be on her way to the morgue

and her parents wouldn’t be devastated. It’s heartbreaking and so senseless.”

She pulled her hands into the sleeves of my hoodie and looked up at me. “And I have to go talk to my

mom tomorrow, which is the equivalent of getting a hundred root canals at one time. This day was vicious

and I think I went a little off the rails for a second.”

It was my turn to shiver.

“I’m sorry, Saint. That sounds awful.”

She narrowed her eyes at me and tilted her head toward the front of building.

“How do you know? Have you ever had anyone make fun of you, been called awful names, had anyone

make you feel like you didn’t deserve to live just because you weren’t the same as everyone else?”

I winced at her harsh tone and tried to put together how she could go from sweet to hostile toward me

so quickly. Her train of thought moved like a scared jackrabbit.

I reached out and grabbed her elbow and spun her around so that she was facing me.

“Look, I don’t know what I did or said that makes you think I’m some kind of monster. I do know

exactly what that’s like, though, Saint. I lived with Phil for most of my childhood because my own mom

didn’t like me, didn’t think I was good enough to keep around. I wasn’t like her or her husband, so she

didn’t want me. She married a guy that loathed me before I was even old enough to question why. I heard it

on repeat every day of my childhood, the names, the taunts, the derisions for simply being alive. So that’s

how I know. Granted, mine didn’t come from my peers, but does that make a difference? Hateful actions

suck no matter who is delivering them.”

Something crossed her pretty face and I noticed that in true redhead fashion she had a few tiny little

freckles that dotted the bridge of her nose. She wrinkled the speckled feature and walked with me to the

elevator. I could practically see her trying to pick apart my words as we moved together.

“Visiting hours are over but I’ll sneak you in considering I waylaid you outside.”

“Thanks, so what’s up with your mom? Why is going to visit her on par with the dentist?”

She made a noise in her throat and leaned against the other side of the elevator. I wanted to hit the panic

button and trap us in here together for an hour or two so I could see if I could get her to put her mouth on

mine again.

“She’s always kind of been a difficult woman, even in the best of times, but now that she and my dad

are getting a divorce, she’s turned into something else and I long for the days of difficult.”

This was the most she’d ever told me about herself.

“How long were they married for?”

“Long enough to decide that they didn’t like each other very much anymore.”

“That sucks, but isn’t that how all marriages end?”

She lifted an eyebrow at me.

“Your mom is still married, and what about Rule? Didn’t he propose to his girlfriend right here in the

hospital? And Jet Keller got married, didn’t he?”

“My mom is obsessed with Grant. She would fall apart if that relationship didn’t work out, and that’s

not a marriage to me. Rule and Shaw are meant to be, and Jet totally married the right girl. I see those

unions lasting the test of time, but who knows? People change, and stuff you thought you liked about a

person can suddenly bug the crap out of you twenty years in.”

It was probably the most honest I had ever been with any girl I was attracted to when it came to my

thoughts on relationships and forever. I typically spent time with girls that didn’t want to talk about long