Nashville by Heart: A Novel (10 page)

He
held his hands up, palms out. “Now don’t look at me like that. You want to know
what I really think?”

“I’m
not sure, but you’re about to tell me.”

“I
think that other guy is an idiot, and that thanks to him, you are being too
careful.”

“And
you think you’re the kind of guy I don’t need to be careful around? You’ve
admitted yourself that you don’t have the best track record.” She smiled to
soften the blow, but if she was going to date him, she wanted to be honest. His
way with women made her nervous.

He
had the decency to look chastened. “I haven’t always been a good man.”

Feeling
guilty, she gave him an apologetic look. “Well, you are now, but I’ve been on
the other side of that. My heart’s warning me to slow down. I don’t want to
move in, or do anything else, until I know you’re in it for keeps.”

He
crossed his arms, stared at her. Finally, he nodded. “So, does that mean I do
or I don’t get to see you naked tonight?”

She
laughed out loud, unable to keep her serious face on for one more minute.

“You
are such a big flirt. And the answer is no.”

He
looked disappointed, but his eyes still twinkled. “I think you need to be more
spontaneous.”

“I
can be spontaneous,” she said.

“Sure.
When’s the last time you ripped off your clothes and ran around naked just for
fun?”

“With
my friend Tommy.”

His
face darkened. “Who’s Tommy?”

“He’s
my neighbor back in Gold Creek Gap, and we went skinny dipping in the sprinkler
when we were three.”

He
smiled broadly. “I have a sprinkler.”

“You
are shameless,” she said, unable to keep from laughing. Maybe this would all
work out. She didn’t know what was going to happen with her and Will, but
considering he hadn’t run off as soon as she turned him down, she had a feeling
it might be good.

When
he finally left a few hours later, after letting her subject him to two
Hallmark movies, he kissed her lightly at the door.

“I’m
surprised you aren’t still trying to stay the night,” she said
matter-of-factly, not sure if she wanted him to ask again or if she wanted him
to leave. Her head, heart and body were definitely in conflict either way.

“Not
tonight, darlin’. You aren’t ready.” He pulled her close. “I will get you to
trust me someday, though. Watch out.”

“Consider
me warned,” she said.

He
grunted. “Just keep in mind, I have a big empty house with enough beds to host
half your hometown for a weekend. You can’t blame me for wanting company.”

“I
didn’t say I wouldn’t visit.”

“Good.”
He moved to leave. “Lock your door, OK?”

“OK.”
She always did, but it was sweet of him to worry about her well-being.

“This
isn’t the safest part of town,” he said. “You know, at least if you won’t move
to Brentwood with me, I’d be happy to help you girls find something else.”

“And
pay the company back when I earn song royalties?” It was something she’d heard
Dorothy and Josie say lots in the past few weeks as she purchased new clothes
for photo shoots, interviews and performances.

“The
company wouldn’t be paying,” he said. “I would.”

She
gazed at him, amazed at his generous heart, but she couldn’t take advantage.

“I’d
never accept that kind of help from you, but thanks.” She placed her hand
affectionately against his chest. “You don’t think you’re good inside, Will.
But you are.”

“Then
I’m trustworthy, right?” He winked.

She
scoffed. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be that kind of girl who sends a guy mixed
signals.”

He
placed a finger over her lips. “Don’t apologize. I don’t know what’s going to
happen to us. I’ve hurt every woman I’ve ever been serious with, but I promise,
I won’t hurt you. I love you.”

She
blinked hard. “You do?”

His
eyes grew serious. “Yeah. And it scares the crap out of me.”

She
touched his face. “But how can you know already?” She laughed softly. “Are you
teasing?”

He
smiled. “No joking right now, Gillian Heart.”

“It’s
nutty, but… I love you too.” She was breathless with the saying and the knowing
of it. “But it’s too soon.”

He
caught her chin in his hand. “I fell for you when I saw you in that little
tease of an outfit in my lobby, and then again at The Blue Fiddle in those hot
little jeans and boots of yours singing that Patsy Cline song.”

“You
mean
Crazy.
And I was wearing more than hot little jeans and boots.”

“You
were?” He pulled her close, running one hand softly up her spine and back down
to her waist where he fiddled with her belt loops. “I don’t remember that. I
must’ve been looking right through the rest.”

His
hands burned through the thin fabric of her blouse. He kissed her long and
sweet.

With
a low groan, his hands moved to cup her face.

“Why
do you have to be
that
kind of girl?” But he smiled his crooked grin
when he said it.

“Sorry.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to say she’d move in with him after all, but
she remembered another piece of her momma’s advice. Make him work for it. If he
doesn’t mind going a few extra miles, he means it.

“Don’t
be,” he said. “It’s sweet that you’re old-fashioned.”

“Me,
old-fashioned? After all that kissing, how can you say that?”

~~~~

Will
kissed her firmly, trailing one hand along her thigh and the other over the
curve of her hip. He wanted so much more than kissing. Heat rushed over him in
waves, and he pulled her into a tight embrace so he’d keep his hands off her.
Lord have mercy.

“How
can I say you’re old-fashioned? Because it’s a lot of just kissing, darlin’.”

She
placed her hand on his chest. Her eyes were clouded with desire but troubled
too.

He
groaned. “Don’t worry. It’s sexy.”

And
with a shock that exploded through his mind, he realized it was more than sexy.
It made him want her more than ever, more than any woman he’d ever had—and not
just in his bed.

“Are
you nervous?” Dorothy asked.

They
were in Dorothy’s car headed to meet Will at a big record label meeting. Will
had told her to be ready, that they were right on the edge of signing her to a
deal, but it hadn’t seemed possible. She couldn’t believe it. It hadn’t even
been that long since she’d signed a contract to be represented by Adams Music,
and now she was about to meet with industry executives. She popped the visor down
and fussed with her hair and lipstick again, wishing she could smooth her
nerves out the way she could her hair.

“You
look fine,” Dorothy said.

“I
feel like I’m going to throw up.”

“Don’t
do that. My husband will have a cow if you mess up this car.”

Gillian
laughed to think of Dorothy worrying about upsetting her husband. She was so
tough; it was hard to even imagine her being a wife.

“How
long have you been married?” Gillian asked, hoping to distract herself from the
fact that her stomach felt like it was in her throat.

“Ten
years this past weekend, as a matter of fact.”

“Wow.
Congratulations.” Gillian tried to imagine being married for so long.

“Kids?”

“Two
boys,” she said, her voice filled with pride. “Five and seven.”

“Wow,
Dorothy. You’re amazing. How do you handle being a mom and having such a great
career at the same time?” Gillian hoped she didn’t sound as wistful as she
felt.

“I’m
not doing it alone,” she said. “I’m doing it with their dad. And I do it
because I love it, both my kids and my career, but my kids and husband win out
every time.”

“I
want that too,” Gillian confided. “But I want to have my career first, then see
about the rest.” She didn’t mention how Will had made her start to rethink some
of that plan.

“That’s
not a bad strategy,” Dorothy said. “Even though sometimes the heart has its own
agenda.”

Gillian
sighed. “Dorothy, do you think I’m making a mistake by seeing Will outside of
work?”

“I’d
be lying if I said it didn’t worry me. Just be careful. Women have a hard
enough time being taken seriously in this business already.”

Gillian
knew Dorothy was right. Her momma had said the same thing a hundred times.

“I
hope you don’t think I’m dating him to get ahead of the other clients.” That
was the last thing Gillian wanted to be known for, especially by Dorothy.

“I
think you two are smitten,” Dorothy said. “And who knows? Maybe the two of
you’ll get married and be as beloved in the industry as Faith and Tim. But
trust me. As one of the few black women working in country music, I know something
about how hard it is to earn respect in this industry. Being a woman in this
biz isn’t easy, period, even without huge obstacles. Don’t put hurdles in your
own way, OK?”

Gillian
wanted to dismiss Dorothy’s advice, pretend there was nothing atypical about
dating your music manager when you were a brand new client, but she’d been in
Nashville long enough to know she was playing with fire. And it wasn’t like
Gillian to do that.

“Are
you saying I shouldn’t see him?”

“Who
am I to stop love?” Dorothy asked. “It’s obvious you two are hotter than a
pepper sprout, just like that old song says, so not seeing him is probably not
an option. Go ahead and get it out of your system, but just trust me. Keep your
personal and business lives apart as much as you can. That, of course, is part
of the reason Will gave you to me, but I’m invested in you, Gillian. I’m not
going to steer you wrong.”

“OK.”
Gillian appreciated Dorothy’s honesty. It was better than tiptoeing around the
issue. “And thank you.”

“Just
remember he’s your agent at this meeting,” Dorothy said. “Nothing else.”

“So.”
Gillian couldn’t hide a grin. “No kissing him or holding hands while he’s
making deals.”

Dorothy
chuckled. “Exactly, honey. As far as the record company is concerned, you and
Will aren’t lovers. You aren’t even friends. It’s best not to advertise who
you’re sleeping with in this business, whether he’s your agent or not.”

Gillian
felt her face flush. “Actually, we haven’t gone there yet.”

Dorothy
pulled up to a stop light and laughed. “I wasn’t born yesterday, honey.
Besides, that part’s none of my business.”

Gillian
didn’t say anything, but out of the corner of her eye she saw Dorothy turn and
look at her.

“Oh,”
Dorothy said quietly. “You’re serious.”

Gillian
smiled. “It’s because of me,” she said.

“Well
I could’ve guessed that.”

“I
almost married a philanderer once.” Gillian explained her misgivings about
being used and discarded. She didn’t know why she told Dorothy about any of it,
except that Dorothy was easy to talk to. “I’m not rushing this time.”

“Good
for you. It’s good to have standards in this business.”

“Thanks,”
Gillian said, feeling for the first time like she wasn’t completely crazy for
not jumping into Will’s bed, even if she wanted to.

~~~~

They
parked a good distance from the entrance. Gillian gave herself one more look in
the visor’s mirror and snapped it shut. She felt giddy, not sure she could walk
all the way to the building. At least she wouldn’t wobble like a marionette
this time, she thought ruefully.

“Now
don’t you be nervous,” Dorothy said. “Imagine you’re back at The Blue Fiddle
,
singing around all your old friends.”

Sadly,
she’d had to quit both her waitressing jobs at The Blue Fiddle
and The
Sweetest Tea because she was too busy with everything else. The agency was generously
funding a bunch of her needs that she would pay back when she started earning
enough money from her music, even though she had a hunch a lot of it was coming
out of Will’s pocket. She’d even given in to Will and moved into another
apartment with Tasha in a little bit better neighborhood, much to Tasha’s
delight.

Truth
be told, Gillian felt horrible about all the extra things. So far, because of
her expenses and not having a recording contract, she hadn’t earned Adams Music
enough to make a profit. She hoped this meeting today would turn out to be
something.

Dorothy’s
advice was well-timed. This blossoming romance with Will had been distracting
her up until now, but Gillian couldn’t forget her rule of not letting love
steal her focus from her goals. She’d already bent the rules enough, but only
because she felt as if she’d ignite into flames every time she got near him.

And
that
was exactly the kind of thing she shouldn’t be thinking about when she was
about to step into a meeting with Will and a bunch of people who might give her
a record deal.

“Will’s
just my agent today,” she told Dorothy. “I promise.”

“Good
girl.”

~~~~

When
Gillian walked in, composed and unruffled, at least on the outside, Will’s eyes
filled with what Gillian had come to think of as the
he’s-dying-to-kiss-me-right-now look, but he quickly recovered in order to
introduce her to the panel of people sitting around the table. Dorothy and
Gillian were the only women in the room, and she was suddenly happy to have
Dorothy with her.

Will
pulled a chair out for Gillian, and as she brushed past him to sit down, his
hand briefly touched her hip. Little butterflies went wild in her chest, a
combination of the thrill of meeting at a record label’s office and the idea
that Will would dare touch her in the presence of anyone else. Nobody would
have noticed given the angle they were at, but it reminded her that Will was
playing with fire too, and he seemed to like it.

Concentrate
on the meeting, she told herself. He’s not your boyfriend. He’s your agent.

“Play
something for us,” one of the executives said. Dorothy smiled encouragement.
She didn’t look at Will.

They
didn’t waste any time getting to the point, she realized, so she didn’t either.
She pulled out her guitar and launched into something she’d played for Will in
his office. Will had given her a list of songs to sing and the order to sing
them in if she got a chance.

It
felt good to be behind her guitar, no matter how important the people watching
her were. The guitar was like a shield between her and the world, giving her a
chance to be herself, to express her deepest feelings on her own terms. It
usually didn’t take her long to get lost in the songs, and as she played, the
room was quiet. She even stopped thinking about Will. It was just her, the
guitar, and the dream she and her momma had been sharing her whole life.

She
was startled when she opened her eyes in the middle of a song to find everyone
staring at her. The feeling was more intense than usual with no lights or space
between herself and them. She flushed. It was like singing naked in front of
strangers. If they knew anything about music, and they did, they’d see every
one of her flaws, her hesitations, her mess-ups, but she didn’t let herself
think about that. Instead, she closed her eyes and went to a different place,
and it wasn’t The Ryman.

In
her mind, she was home in Gold Creek Gap, sitting on her momma’s front porch in
the cool evening breeze, surrounded by an array of potted flowers and darting
hummingbirds dipping in and out of the blossoms, as well as the colorful
feeders hanging all around.

When
she opened her eyes again, the music executives were looking at her like she
was chocolate cake and they were dying to take a bite. She might have been shy
when it came to her talent, but she had enough experience to see that they must
have loved her songs.

Will
took over. He was a master at selling his clients, and she liked watching him
do it. Gillian had learned fast that his charisma and confidence weren’t just a
show he put on for women. It was real and incredibly sexy. The whole time he
talked, Gillian distracted her nervous self by imagining him kissing her, which
was ridiculous of course. She’d just walked through halls lined with more gold
records on the walls than she could ever imagine and now sat in a fancy
boardroom with a bunch of music industry execs—possibly about to sign her own
record deal—and after promising Dorothy she’d keep her mind on the meeting,
almost all she could think about were Will’s lips on her mouth, on her neck,
on—

“Gillian?”
Dorothy was saying. “What do you think of that offer?”

Gillian
glanced at Will, noting the slightest smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
Thank heavens he was able to concentrate. This was his realm, not hers.

“It’s
a good offer,” he said, looking at her. Even though he’d handed her off to
Dorothy, she’d spent hours and hours of personal time with him since then,
enough to read him pretty well. This was his trust-me-I’ve-got-this-covered
look.

“OK,”
Gillian said. Will smiled broadly, and Dorothy patted her shoulder. She’d
obviously said the right thing.

It
wasn’t until they pushed a contract and a pen across the table that Gillian
flipped through and saw a few figures and several of her song titles within the
pages that reality hit. She wasn’t sure why, but she stood up, and the
trembling started before she could stop it.

Will
stood beside her. Between him and Dorothy, they got her to sit back down.

“What’s
wrong?”

Gillian
knew she looked like an idiot, but she couldn’t help it. She turned to him.

“I
want my momma.” She smiled apologetically.

Everyone
else burst into laughter, but when they saw she was serious, it turned into the
kind of chuckles erupting from a crowd when a child stands on the stage and
collapses into tears when they can’t see their mom in the crowd. And Gillian’s
momma wasn’t in the crowd.

Will
turned to the executives. He managed to make Gillian look like an adorable
small town girl whose mother got her started and there was no way she would be
signing that contract until they got her on the phone. He whispered something
to someone at the end, and they all disappeared momentarily.

“They’re
calling her now.” He sat down beside Gillian.

“You
had them do that for me?”

“Of
course. Why wouldn’t I?”

She
squeezed his hand underneath the table. “Thanks.”

The
executives popped back into the room.

“It
turns out your momma has video calling on her phone,” one of them said. “So
we’re going to stream it to this screen here.”

And
just like that, her mom’s face appeared at the end of the room.

“Momma!”
Gillian broke into smiles.

“Hi,
Ms. Heart.” Will waved.

“Will
Adams?”

“Yes,
ma’am.”

“Young
man, I hear you’re takin’ good care of my girl.”

“I’m
doing the best I can. She’s a driven woman, and you know she has a mind of her
own.”