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BOOK: Natural Born Liar: The Misadventures of Mink LaRue
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Bunni just laughed in her face. “Bitch, is you crazy? This cookie ain’t for you to crumble. It’s for ya fuckin’
man’s
lips only!”
I don’t know who swung first but them two got to scrapping. Hair was flying everywhere but it wasn’t Bunni’s ’cause it was long and silky. Ol’ girl was swinging haymakers, but Bunni was patient and she clutched her up Harlem-style. She charged in and got Stanka in a headlock, then twisted her scrawny-ass neck and pounded her with a flurry of devastating lefts.
“Kick that bitch ass!” Stanka’s crew was shouting. “Fuck her ass up!”
I had never been a fighter but I wasn’t no runner neither. Just let one of those tricks think about getting in it! There would be a whole lotta ass showing tonight because I was damn sure gonna jump in too!
But a catfight ended up being the last thing we had to worry about, because just when one of Stanka’s friends looked like she wanted to take a swing, gunfire boomed in the VIP lounge and everybody froze. And then niggas scattered everywhere!
My Harlem instincts kicked in and I dove under the nearest table. But Stanka had already beat me there, and we started scrapping and scrambling tryna get to the best position—in the back!
“Move, bitch!”
“
You
fuckin’ move! I was here first!”
I had been at plenty of parties before where somebody started shooting outta the blue, and I knew the safest place was behind somebody else. I put my head down and dug my way in behind Stanka. I used my shoulders, my elbows, and my knees, and by the time the bullets stopped popping off I had dug my way to the back and Stanka was curled up in front of me like a human shield.
The music had stopped and it was city-morgue quiet up in that bitch. I didn’t know where Bunni and Dane was, but all them niggas who had been beefing and fighting was probably deep up under tables too.
“All right!” a dude’s voice boomed. “Nobody move, and nobody gets fuckin’ blasted! I want everybody’s shit! Everybody’s! My manz are coming around and don’t think they won’t blast ya ass! Take off ya shit!
All of it!
Ya shine, ya ice, ya cake, I’ma need you to give all that up, ya heard? Get up off that shit right fuckin’
NOW
!”
I peeked over Stanka’s shoulder and I couldn’t believe what I saw. I had only been hit by a club lick one time in my entire life, and that had been in a greasy lil hole up in the South Bronx.
But there were at least ten dudes down on this lick and they were moving fast. They wore black hoodies and ski masks and carried AK-47s. I knew they had locked shit down out in the main club area too, because after all those shots didn’t nobody come to see about us, and they moved with confidence as they went around the room filling up pillowcases with other people’s loot.
“A’ight, now! I want every nigga in here to come outta ya kicks and ya pants! Come up outta that shit! All I wanna see is holey socks and dirty drawers! Move, muh’fuckas! Give up that shine, then strip outta ya shit!”
Still clutching the back of Stanka’s dress, I peeked out and watched as niggas gave up their tools and their jewels, then stepped outta their sneakers and let their pants hit the floor. Two guys pushed up on Big Man Siddiq, who was still sitting in the same spot I had left him in. The shorter dude smashed Siddiq dead in the grill, and a spray of blood splashed on the mirror behind him.
“Get the fuck up, you thick-neck muh’fucka! What? You think everybody else getting stuck up in this bitch except you?”
Siddiq rose to his feet. After all that Brooklyn rah-rah shit he had talked his ass looked scared as hell. He took off the ring I had admired, and his Rolex too. He lightened up the load around his neck and then emptied his pockets into the pillowcase and tossed a nice-sized package of cocaine in there as well. He dropped his pants, but he was so big he had to sit back down to get his kicks off. Dude standing over him was getting impatient, and he came down hard on the back of Siddiq’s dome with his AK, and Siddiq pitched over face-first on the floor.
“What you do that for?” Stanka sounded off in front of me, and I was just about to pinch that ass and tell her to shut the hell up when a pair of black Uggs entered my picture and the armed robber who was wearing them demanded our shit.
“C’mon now, ladies. Y’all asses ain’t invisible. Come out from under that table and fill up my goody bag.”
Stanka got up first, and then I uncurled myself and crawled out on my hands and knees. I stood up beside her, and dude checked us out side to side. “Damn! Both of y’all big-titty bitches is fine! Maybe we can hook up in a threesome when I’m done robbing ya asses!”
We both gave him the stupid face, and he laughed.
“Take off all that shit, my honeys. The earrings, the bracelets, all that. Give up the cell phones too.”
Stanka was wearing way more expensive shit than I was, and she came up outta her jewels real reluctantly. I moved real slow too. Hell, I wasn’t even tryna drop my shine in his funky, wrinkled laundry bag. I pretended like I was fumbling with my earrings as I turned my diamond ring around and cupped the stone in my palm, tryna hide it. But Stanka’s ass was checking me out. She had already given up her shit and she knew I was tryna be slick. Her eyes was bouncing all over me, and the way she was smirking and bucking her eyes toward my hand, ol’ boy figured it out too.
“Yo, lemme get that ring you got on ya finger, shawty,” he said. “Toss it on in the bag. My bitch loves stuff like that.”
I wanted to beat Stanka’s stank little ass! She musta been down with the lick! She didn’t have to bust on me like that!
When they were done collecting all our possessions they backed outta the lounge with their gats aimed and ready to spray. Every dude in the room was caught out there in his drawers with no firepower and no cell phones.
I looked for Bunni and saw her standing next to Dane looking mad as hell. She had been stripped down too. Her dangling earrings and thick gold choker were gone. I turned to say something slick to Stanka, but she was gone. I cursed real loud. I didn’t know where Siddiq got his lil gutta chicks from but I had a feeling Ms. Stanka was definitely down with his competition.
“You okay?” I rushed over to Dane and touched his cheek. A noogie was rising up under his eye where he had gotten the shit knocked outta him. “Me and Bunni tried to pull them niggas offa you!” I lied hotly. “We jumped on some backs and got us some punches in, for real!”
Bunni flowed with me. “Damn right! I pounced on that nigga in the green shirt! I drilled him right in the eyeball. I bet his ass is gonna be seeing two of every damn thing for the rest of the night!”
Dane put his arm around both of us as he walked toward the door in his drawers.
“Thanks, y’all. But if something like that ever pops off again don’t worry about me, just hit the door. Niggas is crazy out here and they’ll ambush a female in a minute. I can handle mine, and I wouldn’t want neither one of y’all to get hurt over me.”
“A www,” Bunni said and we both slid our arms around him.
“I can tell you got good hands, but that was too many niggas for any one dude to be handling! Besides, ain’t no way I could run away and leave you in no fight, Dane,” I said, like I was insulted he would even think such a thing. “I’m a ride or die, big brother. Especially for my fam!”
He was straight up touched.
“You’re a real cool sister, Mink,” he said, and kissed the top of my head. “It’s gonna be good having somebody like you in the family.”
Got him!
I thought as I cut my slick eyes at Bunni.
She shot me a
hell yeah
grin, and then that crazy fool reached behind Dane’s back and grabbed the underside of my arm and pinched the shit outta me.
CHAPTER 27
 
W
e got up and went to church on Sunday morning. Bunni didn’t wanna go and neither did I, but Selah made it clear that every damn body under her roof would be riding out to the house of the Lord.
I looked all through my gear until I found something decent to wear. I didn’t know if Bunni had ever been inside a church in her life, but something told me she didn’t get those skin-tight Donna Karan riding pants off no rack of Holy Ghost clothes.
Selah took us to a mega-church where I could tell at first glance the preacher was a grifter who had him a helluva hustle going down. The joint was gigantic. It ran about three blocks wide and two blocks deep. There were more luxury cars in the massive parking lot than a little bit. Beemers, Mercedes, Lexus, Jaguars, you name it—if it cost over fifty grand, it was there. I tried to figure out how much dough flowed into those collection plates every week and my head started pounding at the sheer absurdity of the numbers.
I felt like I had just walked into Madison Square Garden. I had never been inside a church so big before. When I was little the only time my grandmother got the Spirit was when she was tipsy, and then she would drag us down to one of those real small storefront joints and foam at the mouth and speak in tongues until she passed out drunk in the pews.
Rich-people church was a lot like the club. Everybody had a role to play, and you could tell a person’s stats just by where they sat. The con-man preacher posted-up on the stage with his little sanctified posse, and the members who contributed the most cream to his pot got front-row seats in the VIP areas. All the regular folks, the jump-offs, the come-ups, and the posers, sat up in the bleachers.
I fell asleep almost as soon as the sermon started, and I didn’t wake up again until the choir got to singing. The first thing I noticed was that Bunni was gone, and the next thing I noticed was the size of the collection plates. Those joints were monster-sized buckets and folks were tossing dollars down in them until they started just overflowing all over the place.
I whispered to Selah that I was going to the bathroom, then I held my pointer finger up in the air and got the hell up outta there. I walked right past the bathroom and snuck outside looking for Bunni, and I wasn’t surprised to find her outside chillin’ with Jock. That young boy was a little pussy freak. He was sniffing deep in my girl’s ass too. I had heard him tell one of his little high school friends that he was gonna run his dick up in Bunni’s gap before she went back to New York.
“Your little brother is gonna treat us to the movies tonight.” Bunni nudged me and laughed. Jock was looking at Bunni like he wanted to go swimming in her pussy, and the boy damn-near had drool running down his little chin.
I shook my head. “I thought we was gonna go buy some new cell phones and then hang out with Dane and his friends?”
“
First
we’re gonna go buy some new phones, and
then
we’re gonna go to the movies with Jock.” Bunni pinched him on his cheek. “And after that we’ll go hang out with Dane. Okay?”
“Cool. I’m down for that.” I elbowed Jock. “Hey, lil brother. What you got good for the head?”
Jock took us around to the side of the church and we stood huddled between some parked cars. “Y’all want some ’ludes?” he offered us. “Or maybe a little X?”
“I’ll take some of that X.” Bunni was ready to jump all on it, but I checked her real quick.
“Fool, we still got a whole lot more church to go! You do
not
wanna be trapped next to no Holy Ghost choir and tripping at the same time. Just give us some weed,” I told Jock. “We can save the X and shit for when we get to the movies tonight.”
Later, when church finally let out and we got back to the mansion, I warned Bunni not to fuck with Jock’s head. I knew this was all just a grimy little game for me and her, but dudes always got bent over Bunni, and I knew how much she liked twistin’ up their noodles. Jock was too young to be going through all that.
“Just leave him alone, Bunni,” I told her. “He’s so fresh off Selah’s titty his breath still smells like milk. If you’re gonna fuck with anybody, then get with Dane. That dude is fine as fuck and he’s fully grown.”
“But Dane’s ass is broke.” Bunni rolled her eyes and looked real devilish. “Jock ain’t even come into his inheritance money yet.”
“Just leave him alone,” I said again, and even though I got Bunni to swear off the boy with her mouth, when we got to the movies that night I noticed her promise didn’t stop her from letting Jock drape his arm over her shoulder and rub his long skinny fingers all over her two-inch nipples.
CHAPTER 28
 
“C
’mon nigga,
push
this bitch!” Jock’s boy Dre hollered from the backseat of the SUV as they whipped down the streets of Fort Worth.
Jock was already going eighty in a thirty-mile-per-hour zone, and he stomped the gas pedal even harder as he jumped on the highway and headed south toward the Dominion Estate.
They were fucked up on some E and had just picked up a fine white chick from a group home in the heart of the city. Sean and Dre were chillin’ with her in the back-seat, while Jock and Glenn rode up front blasting music and passing a blunt back and forth between them.
The four of them had been on their group home grind for a minute now, and they loved flossin’ Jock’s 2012 Lincoln MKT in front of a bunch of hot ghetto chicks who were practically living on their own. Whether they were prowling around in Dallas or Fort Worth, there were tons of state-run residential houses out there where ten to fifteen teenaged chicks lived together until they graduated from high school and got turned loose by the government.
Yeah, the girls had a counselor and a curfew, but so what. Rules didn’t mean a damn thing to most of these honeys, and as soon as the state-paid baby-sitter turned her head they climbed outta the window and jumped into whatever whip was waiting at the curb.
The white girl they were partying with tonight was riding solo. There were usually enough out-the-window chicks to go around for all of them, but there had been two other whips parked outside the group house tonight. The honeys they usually banged it up with had giggled and walked right past Jock’s ride as they jumped in some other nigga’s car.
The white girl had come straight at them though, and it wasn’t until Jock got a good look at her in his rearview mirror did he realize he’d seen her before. Her name was Gina. She was cute and had a real nice body, and best of all she was down for the ride.
Jock kept peeping her as she slurped down beer and Henny with his boyz. She laughed a lot and sucked on the blunt he’d passed back there like it was a big brown dick. Less than thirty minutes after picking her up they were chillin’ in the Dominions’ pool house and getting lifted. The coffee table looked like a buffet line. There were pills in all shapes, sizes, and colors spread all over that bitch, and no matter what it took to get your head nice, between Jock and his boyz they had copped plenty of it.
“You know I’ve been here before,” Gina said as she glanced around the large room then sat down on the sofa between him and Dre. “It was around Christmas.”
“Uh-huh.” Jock knew. He remembered seeing her with Barron’s girlfriend, Carla. She mentored all kinds of kids from disadvantaged backgrounds, and she had brought Gina out to their Christmas dinner last year.
Jock leaned back on the sofa next to Gina and turned on his laptop. He logged into one of those hot webcam chat rooms and they smoked some Ls, popped some E and some xanies, and drank a few rum and Cokes while watching complete strangers fuck live on-screen.
Gina really got into that shit. She gripped Jock’s thigh with one hand and popped xanies like they were gumdrops with the other one.
“Yo, this shit right here is all me,” Jock told his boys as he put his arm around Gina and claimed her for himself. He slid closer to her on the sofa and she grinned, then picked up two more oval tablets from the table and washed them down with Dre’s beer.
“You better watch that shit,” Jock warned her. “That ain’t no candy you eating, baby. Those are one-point-zeros. The good shit, you feel me?”
Jock put his hand on top of hers and immediately she took his cue. She slid her fingers over his rocked up crotch and squeezed him through his pants. He pulled her to him and covered her thin pink lips with his. Their tongues darted everywhere, and the acrid taste of pills and the slightly sour taste of beer filled Jock’s mouth. He ran his hand up her bare arm and let it trail over her breast. She moaned as he fingered her nipples, and Jock’s dick grew about two more inches in the confines of his pants.
“Let’s go in the other room,” he whispered. He stood up and held his hand out to her, and she took it. They walked past his boyz who were still getting lit and watching the action on the webcam.
In the darkness of the bedroom there were no need for words. All Jock wanted was some wet pussy, and he knew all Gina wanted was the drugs he was dishing off and the two hundred dollars he was gonna slide her when they were through.
They stripped down naked and got ready to mash it up. Gina was out of her clothes first, and she jumped on Jock’s bone like a playful little doggie. Jock wrapped it up and let her have it. At eighteen, he had more cum in his balls than a little bit, and he banged Gina up with nothing but getting his nut off on his mind. It took him a minute to realize that she was just laying there beneath him not doing shit. She wasn’t wiggling her ass or moaning or clenching her pussy muscles down on him or nothing.
Fuck it
, he thought as he pounded into her real deep and got his. This wasn’t no damn romance. For two hundred dollars she shoulda been sucking all on his dick and getting him ready for round two, but he could tell the chick was pretty fucked up, and he lost his load after less than five minutes anyway.
Jock rolled over. He was embarrassed for cumming so quick, and he didn’t wanna go back out in the living room with his boys so soon, but now that his joint was soft he had no desire to be up under the strange chick neither. She lay there with her legs wide open and breathing real deep, and once or twice she reached over and rubbed his wilted dick halfheartedly, then snored a little bit.
Jock forced himself to lay beside her for as long as he could.
“Yo, get dressed,” he told her after a few more minutes. He felt around on the floor for her clothes and then handed them to her as she struggled to sit up.
“You finished already?” she slurred like she hadn’t even realized it was over. She pushed her long blond hair out of her face and started putting her shirt on backward.
They walked into the living room together, and Gina plopped down on the couch next to Dre and reached for the blunt he was smoking.
“Where’s Sean and Glenn?” Jock asked.
“They left,” Dre said and went back to a conversation he was having with two naked white chicks on a Skype video chat. “Yo, man,” Dre told Jock, “call that old fat lady who keeps burning up your kitchen and tell her to bring us something to eat.” He laughed. “This chronic got me, man. I need me some fuckin’ hot wings.”
“Who, Katie? Hell nah, man.” Jock looked around at the mess in the room. “Do you see all this shit up in here? Man, I ain’t waking her old ass up so she can smell this yay and have Bump getting in our asses.”
“Fuck your corporate-ass brother,” Dre yapped, even though his father was a millionaire financial analyst and as corporate as they came. He licked his lips as the two white chicks started kissing and touching each other on the screen. “Ga’-head, J! Barron don’t scare nobody. For real. I’m starving! Go in that big-ass house and get us something to eat, man!”
“A’ight, cool,” Jock said and nodded at Gina, who was now leaning on Dre’s shoulder and killing his blunt, “but don’t forget we gotta ride back to Dallas and take her home.”
Jock jogged around the swimming pool and down the path that led to the main house. After punching in his pass code, he pushed through the side door and jetted into the large, spotless kitchen. He slipped into a bathroom on the other side of the wall and took a quick shit. When he was done he reached under the counter and got a washcloth and wiped his dick and balls with some hot, soapy water.
Back in the kitchen he found a tray of lunch meat in the fridge and took a bag of rolls from the breadbox. He got a bunch of mayo and mustard packs from a basket in the pantry, then put all that shit on a big serving tray and headed out the door.
Jock had only been gone for about ten minutes, but by the time he got back to the pool house it was already too late.
“Help me!” Dre screamed the moment his boy pushed through the door. “Come get this stupid bitch!”
Gina was slumped over on the sofa. The two white girls Dre was Skyping with were making worried noises as Dre shook the girl violently and tried to wake her up.
“What the fuck did you do?” Jock dropped the tray and jetted over to the sofa. Foam was coming out of Gina’s mouth and her eyes were rolling back in her head.
“I didn’t do
shit
!” Dre hollered.
The white girls watching on the screen were busy saying stuff like, “Oh my God, is she okay?” and “Maybe you should call an ambulance!”
“Man, what the hell did you give her, Dre?”
“I swear, man. As soon as you walked out the door this crazy broad scooped up about twenty tabs and throated them shits! Ask them!” He pointed at the girls on the computer monitor. “She said something stupid like, ‘See ya on the other side’ and then she just started
eating
, man! How was I supposed to know her ass was suicidal?”
“Oh shit!” Jock said as he slapped Gina’s cheeks over and over and called out her name real loud. “I knew something was off about her ass!”
“Gina!” He grabbed a handful of her hair and held her upright. Then he used his thumb and forefinger to try to hold her eyelids open so he could see if her pupils were dilated. His hands were shaking and sweating so bad he poked her dead in the eyeball a couple of times, but on the third or fourth try he was able to peer into her fishy gray eyes.
“Oh shit! Wake up, Gina!” Her head lolled from side to side as he shook her and tried to get her to respond. “Gina! Wake up, dammit. Open your eyes, girl. Wake the hell up!”
“Do you think she’s dead?” one of the chicks on the video chat asked real loud.
Jock had been thinking the same fuckin’ thing, and his first instinct was to throw the laptop across the room and get up out of the chat completely. But then he realized that these chicks had already seen Gina, and they could see and identify him and Dre too. If this crazy white girl really was dead, then all roads would lead directly to his pool house door.
“Nah,” Jock chuckled a little bit even though his gut was gripped with panic and sweat had broken out all over him. “She’s straight, everybody. Just relax, y’all. She ain’t dead. Hell nah, she ain’t dead.”
Almost right on cue, Gina arched her back and groaned. Her eyes flew open, and her body lurched as she spewed hot, stinking vomit all over the coffee table full of drugs.
“See?” Jock shouted happily as Gina upchucked beer and stomach sludge and the Skype girls made
eww, vomit
noises. “I told y’all she wasn’t dead! I told y’all!”
“Yay! She’s alive!” Dre hollered. “Now let’s get this crazy bitch up outta here!”
Jock reached down and flipped the laptop closed and cut off the Skype connection, but as soon as he turned back to Gina he knew the shit wasn’t done hitting the fan just yet.
She had slumped over again. She wasn’t throwing up no more, but now she wasn’t breathing either. Jock shook the shit out of her and slapped her cheeks a few more times too. He ran over to the small freezer and him and Dre took turns sticking ice cubes down her panties and in her bra, and they even rubbed them all over her neck, face, and wrists, but they got nothing out of the girl. Nothing. Not only wasn’t she breathing, but it felt like her body was starting to get kinda cool under their hands, and it hit Jock like a roadside bomb when he realized the girl really, really, really was dead.
Him and Dre spent almost an hour trying to come up with a lie that would keep them both out of jail. “I don’t understand it,” Jock just kept saying. He felt so bad for the fuckin’ girl, but he just couldn’t get his head around what she had done. “What would make a chick do something like that? And why would she wanna go out right here in front of us? Fuck! We’re in trouble, man. We’re in
trouble
.”
“But we didn’t do nothing,” Dre insisted. “Didn’t nobody force-feed that girl nothing. She swallowed all that shit on her own. At least you fucked her, man. I didn’t even get none.”
“Shut up, Dre! It don’t matter who the fuck did what!” Jock barked. He had closed Gina’s staring gray eyes and covered her up with the sheet they had just fucked on, and her body lay on the sofa getting colder by the minute. “They can still tie her to us, man. Not only did the chicks at the group home see her getting in my Lincoln, but Sean and Glenn and them two white girls on Skype saw her here with us too.”
“Man,” Dre mumbled, “I ain’t going to jail because of no dumb-ass girl. Nobody made her do shit, my dude. They can’t hang this on us.”
Jock wasn’t planning on going to jail behind no girl either. He had no idea how many different kinds of pills Gina might have had mixed with all that beer and liquor, and he felt real sick knowing he had just busted off with the chick and now she was gone. But like Dre had said. Nobody had made her do shit.
“Look dawg,” Dre stood up after a while. “What you gonna do about this, man? I gotta get up outta here in a minute, yo. I need to get back to the crib.”
BOOK: Natural Born Liar: The Misadventures of Mink LaRue
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