Natural Selection (7 page)

“I’ve daydreamed about you coming here and saying
that to me for months. B-but like I said before, you don’t get to come here and screw up my routine. Just because we loved each other doesn’t mean you have the right to disrupt my life whenever it suits you.”

“Emilia—”

“No!” It was almost ironic the way she threw the teddy bear—such a soft thing with a touch of violence—that the act itself reminded him of Emilia.

“You don’t get to drop me off and pick me back up whenever you like. I might be a charity to you, but I’m not a hobby
.”

“Of course not
.” He gritted his teeth. If Kasper wasn’t careful, he would have to get new facial plates made soon. “You are none of those things to me, and you damn well know it.”

“I don’t know it,” s
he mocked. “You might have thought you loved me once, but how am I supposed to trust you? And even if I did, what am I supposed to do, just drop everything and come back to Massachusetts with you?”

He rolled his eyes and mocked her with the movement of his hands. “O
h, you with your trust, trust, trust! Why must everything rely on your
perceived
reliably of me? Of what might or might not happen? Why can’t you just know that I love you?”

Emilia
laughed, only unlike her usual laugh, the dryness and bitter tone in this particular laugh made him sad. “Once upon a time, I
thought
I did know that, but I’ve grown up since we saw each other last—just like you wanted. And as much as I miss you, I’m pretty sure that love isn’t supposed to be what we had.”

“
What we had,” he scoffed, “was the greatest thing of my life.”

She walked over to the door and opened it for him, stan
ding aside so that he could walk through it. “Then you shouldn’t have thrown it away.”

Chapter 4

Ideas and Plans

The Statler Hotel was at the center of the Cornell campus. And Kasper’s suite overlooked the track and field that was being repainted for the new school year. Kasper watched the maintenance from the large upscale windows as he paced from the bedroom to the seating area and back again. Even if there were some sort reprieve from Emilia, he never would have found it there. With the school colors everywhere, Kasper was reminded of her in lush red and white pillows, and equally lush red and white tulips with the college signet.

He
had been fortunate to give in during the summer season when many parts of the campus were empty, making it significantly easier to secure the suite at the last minute. Yet that seemed to be the only bit of good luck he had experienced in this endeavor.

He had kissed her! Could he have been any more foolish? More selfish? What had he been thinking?
Well, the truth of the matter was that he wasn’t thinking. The moment she began yelling at him and making the mere suggestion that her life had been better when she was with him—because of him—he was reminded of that passion of hers that always seemed to be lying just under the surface, and he could not control himself any longer.

Kasper returned to the sitting room, slamming the French doors behind h
im. The phone on the table had been ringing without reprieve, and he had finally had enough.

“What is it?” h
e snapped. “I deliberately told you people I was not to be disturbed.”

“Yes, s-s
ir,” stuttered the young man on the other end of the phone. “But there’s a woman who keeps calling and is very determined to speak with you.”

Emilia? Could it be?

“Sir?”

“Yes, yes,” h
e croaked, “put her on.”

Kasper straighten
ed his tie and corrected his posture as though she could see him through the phone line. When he became aware of what he was doing, he laughed at himself. As if his appearance could be helped.

“Hello, Mr. v
on Weber! Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me! This is Elaine Rush, founder and chairwoman for Home at Last. I’m terribly sorry I wasn’t there to meet you today, but—”

He blinked hard, cursing
himself for allowing himself to hope it was his little peach. Of course it would not be… 

“I just wanted to say thank you again and apologize for the behavior of our girls today. I understand there was an incident—”

“It was of no consequence,” he snapped. “I have grown rather accustomed to it.”

“Oh
, well, that is a shame…” Her voice trailed off, and he heard the sound of a throat clearing. “Again, we are very sorry, and we just want to make sure you know you are welcome at Home at Last anytime…”

Th
e woman prattled on and on. And normally while Kasper would have rebuked her moronic comments, he still struggled to keep his head above the sea of disappointment and that alone required more effort than he had. Frankly, he was still unsure of whether or not he would drown.

“Usually we have to hold fundraisers just to keep the lights on and our employees for another fiscal year, but your generous donation will help provide the best environment
for the dogs.”

“I am not interested in your
dogs.
” He spat out the word like it was poisonous. “I am interested in—” He stopped himself before he said “employees,” thinking only of Emilia and the problems his known affection could bring for her. Regardless, the woman’s rambling had been good for something. She had given him an idea, and now that it was there, it was beginning to snowball into a blizzard master plan.

***

She was still crying when the knock came at the door. But somehow Emilia ran to it faster than Tut. Maybe he had changed his mind! Had seen through her anger to the love she felt for him at her core? Yet it wasn’t the man she had wanted, and she didn’t bother to hide her disappointment.

“Oh
.” Emilia hastily worked to wipe away her tears. “Hi, Andrew.”

“Uh—hi?” He hesitated to wave
, and Emilia could see how uncomfortable he felt just by the way he thumbed his pockets. “I thought I heard some arguing. Is everything okay?”

“I’m sorry.”
She laughed awkwardly and scooted Tut’s rump away with her foot. “Everything is fine. I was just—talking loudly—with an old friend.”

“Uh-
huh.” He glanced over her shoulder as if expecting to see some chaos brewing. “You sure everything is okay? Do you want me to come in?”

“No
.” She shook her head. “Really, I’m good.”

“Okay. I’m just down the hall—”

“Thanks,” she said. “I’m crashing for the night, so no more noise. I promise.” Emilia sniffled and shut the door slowly, waiting until she heard his steps moving before she let herself cry again.

How could Ka
sper do that to her again? Worse yet, how could she
let
him do that to her again? He had always called her a foolish girl, and she had come to look at it as a term of endearment, but she really was nothing but foolish—naïve and foolish. She thought he had been kind to her once, but what if he had just come down there to torment her? To tease and tantalize her and then laugh at her behind her back?

She had put herself in one too many
vulnerable positions before, vowing not to do it again, only to break those vows. She didn’t know who she was madder at—Kasper or herself. Emilia dried her eyes and got a glass of water. No matter why Kasper was there, Emilia wouldn’t let him hurt her again, wouldn’t even give him the opportunity. Hopefully, she mused, her body would cooperate with her head…

***

Once again, Home at Last was busy with activity when Emilia arrived the next morning. The pounding of hammers and the clamoring of the bell over the door made the headache that had started hours ago that much worse. At least with all the craziness, no one noticed her bloodshot eyes or the dark circles under them. Despite her new resolution, Emilia still had a hard time sleeping and had spent the night doing schoolwork—the constitution of her new goal.

As promised, a plumber had sealed off the restroom and was banging around on the pipes. The printer upstairs shimmied back and forth while Elaine jabbered into the phone and
tapped her cane. Unused to such noise, the dogs barked louder than usual, squealing and howling in succession. Her headache vibrated through her temples, and Emilia sighed, grabbing two aspirin from a bottle in the desk and swallowing them dry.

“Elaine! What’s going on?”

Elaine held up one of her thick fingers to indicate she would be a minute.

In the meantime,
Emilia let her hair down in the hopes that it would help alleviate some of the pain. Afterward, she refilled the water bowls in the kennel and rotated the dogs that were outside, so some of the other guys could get some exercise and fresh air. When she did, however, the community service kids were mowing the yard, and in Emilia’s opinion, making a great deal of noise.

Emilia sighed and pet
ted Freckles before giving her a treat. She was named for the speckled scars on her abdomen—the result of infected flea bites. Quickly, she pulled back, realizing that interacting with the dog made her sad. Exactly why that was, however, she did not know.

“Em? Are you hiding back here?”

She smiled and petted Freckle’s belly. “Guilty.”

“I saw your car,” Paula half-hollered over the noise
, “but I wasn’t sure you were here.”

Emilia closed Freckles back in her cage and substituted petting the dogs for massaging her temples.

“Did Elaine tell you?”

She shook her head and scoffed.
“What? More money?”

“Sort of?” Paula laughed. “
We’re having a fundraiser gala.” 

Startled, Emilia stoppe
d Paula’s explanation by putting her hand in mid-air. “A what?”

“Will you shut up out there?”

Emilia laughed, grateful that the workers listened and dispersed with the noise enough so that she could hear her own thoughts.

“Un-huh
. Apparently, it was Mr. Weber’s idea. Elaine asked his lawyer where he was staying and called to apologize—”

“It was Mr. Weber’s idea? Are you kidding me?”

Paula nodded excitedly. “Isn’t it exciting? Parties like this bring in a lot of revenue.”

Emilia nodded, still dumbfounded by the news.

“I’ve been practicing my apology to him all day. I just hope I don’t screw it up. I know Claudette and I made spectacles of ourselves. Guess no one can blame the guy for refusing to work with anyone but you.”

Emilia walked past her and into the lobby. Clearly, two aspirin would not be enough.
“Please, please tell me you’re kidding.”

“Ah
, no.” Now Paula looked at Emilia sheepishly, an evident expression of concern crossing her face. “Why would I be? You’re the only one who acted normal around the guy, and since he’s putting up another $10,000 for this fundraiser, it’s natural that he would want to participate in the planning.”

She sighed. Was this a joke to him?
A weird gag she didn’t understand? When she made him leave the night before, she felt liberated for the first time, in control of their relationship since Kasper had first ended it. It had hurt terribly, but with the pain came a raw sense of freedom that made her feel more independent than she ever had. And she had felt a lifting of the purgatory she had kept herself in for the last year. Maybe if she had told him off when he first tried to breakup with her, then it wouldn’t have hit so hard, wouldn’t have hurt so much. Emilia hadn’t realized how much she regretted blubbering and begging him to keep her in his life until that moment. At least now she had given him a taste of his own medicine—kicking him out of her home, and her life.

But what if he was angry enough to do something cruel to
the people she worked with? Build up their hopes up only to intentionally knock them down?

“When is he supposed to be here?”

Paula glanced at her watch, cringing as the plumber started drilling something. “About an hour. We don’t have any appointments for then, do we?”

“No
.”

“Then why do you look nervous? Oh God, you
are
going to be here, right?”

At any other time
, Emilia might have laughed at the dramatized panic that came over Paula’s face, but she felt a new, indispensable amount of anger instead. It was one thing for Kasper to play games with her, for him to try and wear her down or whatever he was doing with her. But it was another thing entirely for him to hurt the people in her life. If he got bored and withdrew his money, backed out of this
gala
at the last minute simply because he felt like it, it would break everyone’s hearts. Yes, she had willingly given him her heart to smash, but her colleagues hadn’t.

And she wouldn’t let him hurt them.

She did everything she could in the short amount of time to make herself as unappetizing as possible. Working up a sweat by walking the dogs outside and mopping the floors, she didn’t bother cleaning herself up for the sake of potential new adoptees or even for herself. If Kasper wanted to try to seduce her again, she would make it as unappealing as possible.

E
milia was working in the flowerbed when he pulled up. And though she saw his car’s blinker from the corner of her eye, she failed to acknowledge him, much happier to bury her hands in mulch than deal with his mind-games.

As
usual, his steps were subtle, the result of designer shoes flexing softly against the pavement. How many times had she tuned her ears in to hear those steps in Iram Manor’s library or even in the kitchen when she fixed herself a snack? Though the sound was similar now, the feeling wasn’t the same—the anticipation was there, but lacking the joy.

The footsteps
stopped just short of her, and she tried to pretend she didn’t feel his eyes on her neck, the sliver of skin showing on her lower back. After a few moments however, when she couldn’t stand it any longer, she coughed awkwardly, pounding her fist deep into the dirt. “What are you doing back here?”

“How did you know it was me?” She wasn’t sure, but she thought she heard a smile in his voice.

“Anyone who could afford those shoes would go to a breeder, not adopt.” She sighed and stuck one of the purple dahlias into the soil. At least
everyone
had agreed that the front of the building needed some sprucing up. “Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a complete dumb blonde.”

“You are neither dumb
nor blonde, my little peach. I think you know that.”