Nearlyweds (24 page)

“You could come,” Will said quickly. “The more the merrier, right? But you probably have plans.”

“Not really,” I lied. Casey would understand. She knew all about the irresistible lure of stray dogs and hot guys.

“We get pie,” Izzy offered as an enticement.

“Hmm.” I mulled this over. “I do like pie.”

“Then it’s settled.” Will gave Cash a farewell ear scratch. “See you tomorrow.”

“Bye!” Izzy called as I tugged Cash toward the parking lot. “Hope you get lots of presents!”

“Me, too!” I called back, still checking out Izzy’s dad. Who, if I wasn’t mistaken, was still checking out me. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

“Nice work,” I commended Cash as he hopped into the back of the Jeep. “If you had to have another owner, that was the one to have.”

I climbed into the driver’s seat, cranked up the heat, and turned on the radio. And then we drove off toward the snowcapped blue hills—just a girl, her dog, and the winding road stretching out ahead.

What inspired you to write this book?

Inspiration struck while I was enjoying a night out with a group of recently married girlfriends. These women are all smart, savvy, in their late twenties and early thirties, and they all had the same comment: “Marriage is just
different
from what I expected.” Better in some ways, worse in some ways, but completely different from the expectations society had built up.

A lot of happy, long-married couples I know say that the first year is the toughest, especially if you didn’t live with your partner beforehand. Most newlyweds aren’t eager to talk about the day-to-day struggle—no one wants to admit they don’t have the perfect relationship or that they’re second-guessing their decision. The great thing about the friendship between the three brides in this book is that they’re honest with one another about how much work it is to keep a marriage strong and how scary it is when you feel frustrated and lonely in a relationship that society tells us is supposed to satisfy our every emotional need.

Why did you decide to set this book during the holiday season?

I see a lot of parallels between surviving the Christmas season and surviving the first year of marriage—there is usually a ton of anxiety and drama roiling right under the surface, but everyone pretends they’re in a perpetual state of good cheer. We put so much pressure on ourselves during the holidays! The shopping, the parties, the family get-togethers, the financial strain…and you’re supposed to feel warm and fuzzy the whole time. Talk about unrealistic expectations!

Stella’s and Erin’s relationship problems go from bad to worse during Thanksgiving becasue they’re forced to deal directly with their in-laws and the reality that their husbands are deeply conflicted. Casey has to grapple with the fact that marrying the “perfect” guy from the “perfect” family doesn’t magically grant her the “perfect” marriage. The disparity between her hopes for a Martha Stewart Thanksgiving and the reality is, well, it’s enough to give anyone second thoughts!

Which aspects of this book are autobiographical? Has your mother-in-law ever tried to kill you?

My poor mother-in-law! She’s a wonderful woman, and no, she’s never tried to kill me, in or out of the kitchen. The character of Renée strutted into my consciousness one fine morning and refused to leave until she’d taken over half the book. Bossy, bossy, bossy! Although Erin and Renée’s story lines is in
no way autobiographical, I think it really resonates with readers because in-law “turf-wars” are so common in the early stages of marriage. Every family has a unique and unspoken set of rules, many of which make no sense to a newcomer. My own family has a long, proud tradition of wrapping paper fights on Christmas morning (think wadded-up gift wrap pitched at major-league speeds; my husband nearly lost an eye the first time he got caught in the cross fire) and annual “swamp wars” in the forest behind my grandparents’ farmhouse. With camouflage gear and fireworks. Yeah. Don’t ask.

The only true-to-life incident in this book involved Cash the dog.

Speaking of Cash the dog…Why did you decide to make one of your main characters canine?

Cash becomes a catalyst in all the girls marriages because he takes action in a way that the human characters can’t. Erin is furious with her mother-in-law, but she is far too civilized to do what Cash does to Renée’s bed. Stella may want to throw down with Taylor, but she could never get away with tackling her like Cash does. Dogs are traditionally loyal and persistent, and in my mind, Cash represents the warring loyalties that every bride has to struggle with—her desire to stay true to her independent spirit while still honoring her vows to join her life with her husband’s.

The sad truth is that there are innumerable big, black dogs
languishing in animal shelters all over the country—they’re typically the last to be adopted and the first to be euthanized. As the proud owner of three wonderful rescue dogs, I would urge anyone thinking of getting a pet for the holidays to check out local shelters and rescue sites like Petfinder.org. (Okay, total disclosure time: My dogs, although wonderful, are also kind of, ahem, high-spirited; the red pawprint scene at Stella’s house was insprired by one very memorable evening with our lab mix, Friday. Thank God we have tile floors!)

What’s the best piece of marriage advice you ever heard?

“Speak softly and carry a big stick.” No, no, I’m kidding. From a philosophical perspective, the best advice I got was, “Marriage is not fifty-fifty; both people have to contribute one hundred percent.” From a practical perspective, I am a big advocate of separate closets and his and her bathrooms.