Necessary Heartbreak (10 page)

“Yes, yes, I do!” Michael said with excitement.

“Good. I'll make sure you get back home safely.” Marcus smiled.

Michael stood up with a thrust of energy. “Thank you for being so kind to me. Could you help me with something else?”

Marcus stopped and turned around, frowning slightly. “What is it?”

Michael held up his hand slightly. “My ring. The soldier with you in the street took it from me. It means a lot to me.”

“I will do my best to find it. You can trust me. Now get some rest.”

Leah wiped her eyes as she lingered by a nearby well, then pulled up a bucket and dipped her hands repeatedly in the water. After the fourth time, she muttered, “Come with me, Elizabeth.”

They began walking toward the Antonia Fortress. “I thought you were getting some help before we went back there,” Elizabeth said with concern.

“We aren't going there. We're going to the only place where I can ask for true help.”

“Where is that?”

“We're going to the Temple.”

“The Temple? Why? Who can help us there?”

Leah didn't answer. She picked up her pace as the outline of the Fortress loomed ahead. But instead of heading toward the entrance, Leah turned abruptly to the north side.

“Where is it?” Elizabeth asked, looking around.

“Not too far away. Keep your veil on while you clean.”

“Clean? I thought we were going to the Temple?”

“We are.”

Leah stopped in front of what appeared to be a series of small, square-shaped in-ground pools. They looked ancient to Elizabeth.
No lining held the water, just stone walls. Without warning, Leah pulled off her clothes, then her shoes. Elizabeth quickly looked away as Leah walked down the four steps into the water and began splashing her body and face. “Come quickly.” She gestured, pointing to the stairs.

“What? Are you serious? No way!”

“Come in. Don't stand there. Don't you do this where you live?”

“Um . . .
no.
”

“Hurry! You'll stand out and draw attention to yourself. You'll upset the high priest.”

Elizabeth hesitated, looking around to see if anyone was watching. It was quiet now. Dusk was settling in and the hustle and bustle of the day was gone. Still, she felt shy.

“Are you bleeding?” Leah asked.

“Bleeding? What do you mean?”

Leah gestured toward the lower portion of her body. “Down here.”

“My period? No, no . . . that's not the problem.”

“Good. Because if you are, then you mustn't come in.”

Elizabeth reminded herself that they needed to find her father. If this was going to help, then she would do it. She looked around quickly, then hurriedly removed her shirt, keeping her bra on. Then she kicked off her sandals but left on her long shorts. Leah looked at her oddly.

On the far end, two men were bathing. Elizabeth made a face and quickly scurried down the steps into the water with her back to Leah.

“Clean quickly.”

“No problem there,” Elizabeth muttered as she bent down to let the water rise above her shoulders. By the time she stood up, Leah had climbed out and was putting her clothes on. Elizabeth sprinted up the steps and did the same. “Now what?”

“Over there.” Leah pointed to a large building about a football field away. Even at this distance, Elizabeth could see how splendid it was. Rows of towering, white marble columns lined the front, capped with tinges of gold that glowed in the early-evening sky. Sharp gold
spikes rose on the roof, reflecting a soft light across the several acres of the plaza. She felt mesmerized by a feeling of holiness about the place, her body tingling with excitement. She pointed toward the bronze doors. “Is that where we go?”

“No. We must go through on the other side.”

They walked around the wide structure and entered through another gate made of steel. Elizabeth noticed that it wasn't as ornate as the main entrance.

“Stay with me,” Leah ordered. She led the way down several steps and into a tunnel. Carefully placed candles on either side shed light on the ceiling, which was covered with crude drawings of people and animals.

“Stay quiet,” Leah whispered.

The tunnel opened into a large area, surrounded by several rooms. “Over here,” Leah said in a hushed voice. “We must always stay in this part of the Temple. Always remain with me.”

Leah closed her eyes and knelt. Elizabeth briefly looked around in confusion. It was a simple room, large enough where several people could kneel and pray. It wasn't as elaborate as the outside of the building. She could hear Leah whispering something but was unable to decipher any words. As Elizabeth looked around, she realized a few other women were praying, too. But no men.

Leah's whispers became louder. Elizabeth began to understand some words, including a plea for help. Elizabeth felt a stab of disappointment. No one here could help them.

But as she looked around, the meaning of Leah's words dawned on her. Slowly Elizabeth sank to her knees and bowed her head.
Lord, can you please help my father? Please. It was my fault, Lord. Punish me. Please. Don't let anyone hurt him. Please. Punish me
.

The quiet inside the Temple moved her. A tear slipped out of her eye and coursed down her cheek as she continued to silently say,
Punish me. Punish me. Not my dad. Please
. She let the tear stay there in hopes God would see it.
Lord, please. Please. Please. Help him. Please help me to find my dad
.

She clasped her hands together and bowed her head, and the veil slipped over her face.

Wow. Look at all these people
. Well-dressed adults and children filled the pews on both sides as Elizabeth tugged at her veil, making sure it didn't obscure her eyes.
Daddy told me to keep it out of my eyes. I want him to be proud of me
.

Organ music suddenly boomed out around them, jolting everyone in line to straighten up and pay attention. A woman, dressed in a soft brown suit with a beautiful blue corsage on her wrist, gestured to the boys and girls to follow her. After one last pull on her veil, this time making sure it wouldn't fall off, Elizabeth clasped her hands together. She glanced at the boy to her left, looking for guidance on when to begin walking.

When he started, she did, too. Smiling, and imagining that this was how Mommy felt when she married Daddy, Elizabeth floated the first few steps. She glanced first to her left, then to her right, spotting Mrs. Horn. Elizabeth beamed and her neighbor waved. Elizabeth gave a quick half-hello in her direction.

She fell a few steps behind her partner as the line continued to stroll two by two up the aisle toward the altar.
I wonder if this is how the animals felt going onto the ark
. Elizabeth giggled to herself.

She skipped a few steps, prompting a few smiles from the adults nearby, then Elizabeth brushed back her hair, fixing her veil once more.
I hope Daddy thinks I look pretty
. The children started filling the front pews where the families were waiting. As Elizabeth approached her family's pew, she caught a quick smile from her father. She glowed with pride, keeping her hands folded tightly, head up and eyes wide-open as she joined him.

Just like Daddy told me to do it.

“You look beautiful, Elizabeth,” Michael whispered into her ear.

Aunt Connie leaned across Michael and gave Elizabeth a big
thumbs-up while Aunt Sammie gently reached over to touch her shoulder. “You look like a bride!” she whispered, her face fixed in a huge grin.

“Thank you,” Elizabeth said shyly.

Ruth and Ed, her great-aunt and great-uncle, beamed at her, and Elizabeth remembered how grown-up they had said she looked when they had met earlier in the church's parking lot. Farther down the pew she could see her cousins and Uncle Bill, Aunt Connie's husband. Elizabeth leaned over the front of the pew to see them.

Michael gently pushed her back as the priest greeted the parishioners with his opening prayer. After she made the sign of the cross and strained to pay attention to the opening prayer, the first reading began and Elizabeth could finally sit. She instinctively grabbed her father's hand as she leaned back onto the hard wooden pew. Michael smiled briefly at her, then looked up and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his new jacket.

Is he crying?

She tried to turn her attention back to the front of the church, but her veil was caught on the back of the pew. She leaned forward to free it, delighted that everyone around her seemed to like what she was wearing. She reached down to touch the box that contained the blue rosary beads that her aunt Sammie had left for her. They had been Elizabeth's grandmother's and she felt so special, even though she had never known her.

It surprised her when the priest came to the edge of the altar—usually it seemed as if church took forever—and she knew that she was about to receive Communion for the first time.

As the children in the front pews went up to the altar with their parents, her thoughts wandered to Aunt Connie and her father. When Aunt Connie came to the house that morning, they had argued loudly.

“I don't need you to tell me what to do,” Michael had said angrily.

“But Elizabeth should have someone with her when she goes up. All the other kids will have two parents up there. Be fair to her.”

“In case you forgot, Connie, Elizabeth doesn't have two parents. If Vicki was around, she would. But it's just me here, okay? Or have you forgotten already?”

“How dare you talk to me like that! I know what you went through!”

“What do you know about what I went through?”

“Please, Michael, please. Let me stand up there with her.”

Then Aunt Connie's eyes had narrowed in a funny way and her voice stayed firm but softened, although Elizabeth could still hear her. “Or should we just get your neighbor Susan to stand there? Are you sleeping with her? I wonder what Vicki would think of that.”

“You're way out of line. Like today isn't hard enough—leave it to you.”

“All I'm saying is that everyone else will have two people up there. Vicki would have wanted it this way.”

“How do you know what Vicki would want? Nobody can replace Vicki. Drop it!”

The woman with the pretty blue corsage snapped her fingers from the side of the altar, jolting Elizabeth out of her trance. The woman looked over at both her and Michael. Aunt Connie stared straight ahead, giving no indication of her mood. Michael put his hand on Elizabeth's arm, urging her to walk to the aisle.

After checking her veil one last time, she clenched her hands firmly together and stood up. As she started up the aisle, her father's hand on her shoulder, she began to silently whisper a prayer.

Dear God, I don't care about getting any money today. I really don't. Well, maybe a little, God. But, I want Daddy to be happy. He's been so sad lately. I thought this would make him happy. I tried to look pretty for him, God. But he still seems angry. He's angry at Aunt Connie, too. I don't like it when they fight. I get nervous. Can you make it better? Can you tell them to stop fighting? Please, God. Please. I really don't want any gifts. I just want him to be happy.

As she reached the priest, one last thought went through her mind.

God, you're not mad that it's just Daddy and me up here, right?