Necessary Restorations (The Walsh Series) (A) (37 page)

“No,” Sam replied. “I’m doing it because I love you, and the least I can do is grab your bag while you freak the fuck out.”

Once we boarded the plane and got situated in our seats, he laced his fingers with mine and kissed the back of my hand.

“I can give you answers to all those questions, but I don’t think you want any of that right now.” I stared out the window, watching as the ground crew tossed one bag after another onto a conveyor belt. “I will support you no matter what, and I promise you can trust me.”

“I just have a lot to think about,” I said. “And we’re probably blowing this out of proportion. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

When we were airborne, I unraveled my earbuds, handed one to Sam, and called up my playlist. I rested my head on his shoulder, closed my eyes, and let myself drown in the music while I tried to convince myself that everything was going to be fine.

SHANNON WAS A notoriously picky eater. Unlike me, there was no philosophy or dietary rationale behind her food choices. Nothing was ever cooked the way she liked it, I could name at least forty things she refused to eat, and more often than not, she ate a slim fraction of the food on her plate.

Knowing that, I wasn’t looking forward to meeting her for brunch at Aquitaine the day after getting back from Arizona. She liked to pretend she enjoyed French food when in reality she enjoyed drinking French champagne before noon, and while I’d managed to tolerate that previously, I wasn’t in the mood for it now.

I knew it was time to sit down and hash it out with her, but it also took me away from Tiel. I left her in my bed with a promise to return soon but wouldn’t be surprised to find her schlepping back to her apartment this morning.

As I waited for Shannon to join me, I started an email to myself noting the work required on the firehouse. I wanted to finally convert the old showers to a practice space for Tiel, and the bathrooms required updating, and we might be in need of a nursery very soon.

I couldn’t begin to summarize how incredible that felt.

“Who is licking your ass this morning?”

I startled at Shannon’s comment, and tucked my phone away as she sat across from me. “Excuse me?”

“You look like a kid on Christmas morning,” she said. “I take it you enjoyed Scottsdale.”

“It was fantastic,” I said, but couldn’t remember anything about the conference.

Turning my attention to the menu, I ignored Shannon’s expectant gaze. She stared at me for a moment, then launched into a detailed account of her week. The Turlans’ public relations people were keeping her busy with update requests and ever-changing press tour schedules, and that was on top of the work she did with the assortment of councils and committees around town.

Every neighborhood had their own advisory board, or so it seemed, and she was the first line of defense for them all. She pushed them to reconsider regulations against otherwise unsightly home sustainability features like solar panels and rain water catchment, and managed them through well-intentioned yet ridiculous remodeling and construction guidelines.

“I swung by on Thursday with some groceries,” she said. “It looked like Riley had been surviving on spicy mustard and beer. I got a few quarts of that soup you like. They’re in the freezer. Oh, and I sent my cleaning lady to your place, just so you didn’t worry about that when you got home.”

“You didn’t have to do any of that,” I said, careful to keep my tone even.

“I wanted to,” she said, shrugging as she destroyed a plate of brioche French toast. “No big deal. So listen. Andy is leading a walk-through at Wellesley soon. She wants to discuss the progress and get some feedback on issues. I didn’t want that to come as a shock, and you don’t have to go if you’re not feeling up to it.”

“I don’t mind,” I said.

Shannon inclined her head toward me and frowned. “I don’t understand. What is it you don’t mind?”

“I don’t mind going to the walk-through.” I shrugged and picked some minced chives from my eggs. Shannon stood abruptly, and moved beside me to press her hand to my forehead.

“You don’t feel hot,” she murmured. “Did you pick up Valley Fever or something? What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing is going on,” I said. “I’m just not going to get hung up on the house, or any of it. I don’t have time for that shit, and there’s no sense reliving it every day. I’d rather not sit around, holding hands and talking about how great Angus was, but I’ll take a look at the progress.”

She leaned back in her chair, her champagne glass pinched between her fingers, studying me. “All right,” she said eventually. “Let’s do this.”

“Now?” I said. I glanced around the busy restaurant. “Here?”

“Yep,” she said. “We can be civilized.”

“Fine. I’m with Tiel, and she’s not going anywhere,” I said. I stopped short of mentioning that we might be having a baby, and despite every urge to the contrary, I didn’t ask whether she knew where Matt picked up Lauren’s engagement ring. I was fighting this battle one hill at a time. “It would be nice if you’d respect that.”

“I don’t
dis
respect that, Sam—”

“You certainly aren’t supportive,” I said.

She rubbed her forehead and murmured something to herself. “Honestly, I just want what’s best for you, and if she’s it, I’m on board and I’ll do anything I can to make her feel included. You look healthy and you seem happy, and that’s fantastic, but I have no idea what’s going on with you. I had to hear about this girl from
Andy.
Do you even understand how much that hurt me?”

I pushed my plate to the side. “And you, Shannon, you vanish for random weekends and can’t manage to tell me where the fuck you’ve been?” I shook my head and gazed out the window. “You can hide your shit from a lot of people, but you can’t hide it from me.”

We stared at each other, waiting for the other to speak first. The waiter circled back to our table three times during this impasse, and Shannon finally snapped at him to take her plate and bring another mimosa.

“All right. Fine,” she said. “I started something over the summer. It was . . .” She turned her eyes to the ceiling, pausing as she selected her words. “To put it mildly, a very bad idea, but there were some extenuating circumstances.”

I accepted another glass of juice from the waiter, wiped the rim with my napkin, and sipped. “It’s fascinating how you’re very obviously talking about sex, and you’ve never before felt the need to censor yourself with me.”

“Yes, well, shit happens,” she murmured. “Anyway. It ended, and that was for the best, and that’s all I’m going to say. I’d like to hear about Tiel.”

“Right,” I said. “You actually deserve the credit for this one.” She shot me a confused frown and I smiled. “I was stuck in that elevator—the one at Comm Ave.—with her when you bailed on me.”

“You’re very welcome,” she said. “So what’s her story?”

“She’s incredible, Shannon. Like, really fucking incredible.” I told her about Tiel’s YouTube following and her conservatory background, and I mentioned the loopy family issues because that was one thing Shannon could commiserate with, and how Tiel was reasonably cautious in family settings.

Somewhere in the middle of dumping all these details on Shannon, her skeptical expression softened. She started smiling, her eyes crinkling as I told stories about our adventures in Boston’s music scene and lazy movie nights.

“When she’s not around, it’s like I’m missing an organ,” I said. “She was in New Jersey for two and a half days, and I didn’t know what the hell to do with myself.”

“Okay, so you’re not going to clubs or the cool parties anymore? You’re not screwing lots of random chicks and drinking your weight every night?” I shook my head. “Don’t you miss it? Those are your nuts and bolts.”

“We go out a lot,” I said. “It’s different from my old scene, but I have a lot more fun with Tiel.”

“You’re all going to get married,” Shannon sighed. “And I will be that crazy cat lady.”

“I don’t think she’s interested in talking about marriage,” I said. “Her first was absolute shit, and the guy was a douche, and I don’t see that in the near future.”

Though it was rather antiquated of me, I didn’t like the idea of bringing a child into the world without marrying his mother first, but I didn’t see Tiel going for that anytime soon. I could be fine with it so long as we lived together.

“Oh so you’ve thought about it,” she said.

I lifted a shoulder and tried to wipe away all hint of my true desires. Shannon was an effective negotiator because she could read people as well as I read bluelines, but I wasn’t in a spot to be fully transparent with her yet.

“I’ve thought about a lot of things,” I said.

“Sure,” she said. “Of course.” She glanced to her phone and then back at me. “I’m meeting Lauren soon, but . . . promise you’ll talk to me. I have to do a better job, you have to do a better job, and we have to stick together.”

Nodding, I stood to hug her. “I’ll work on it, but promise me you’ll love her. No matter what, I need you to love her.”

“Always,” she said.

The drive back to the firehouse was quick, and I’d never been so excited to get home as I was knowing Tiel was there. I also felt better about things with Shannon, and that eased an entire lump of tension in my neck. We were in a better place—not great, but getting there—and we’d figure this out. We always did.

Arriving home, I watched from the doorway as Tiel and Riley laughed together at the kitchen table. He was telling stories that probably shouldn’t see the light of day, and she was giggling, her whole body rocking with the force. She looked damned adorable in those little running shorts and one of my long-sleeved t-shirts, and the baby anxiety wasn’t weighing on her like it did yesterday.

“Would it kill you to put on some clothes?” I asked, gesturing to Riley’s boxers. If history was any predictor, we’d be seeing his junk very soon.

They turned toward me, and Riley mumbled something about his bits and bobs needing room to breathe while he lumbered up the stairs.

“Don’t believe anything he told you,” I said, leaning down to kiss Tiel. She shifted, wrapping her arms around my neck. I heard Riley coming back down the stairs, still muttering, but I ignored him.

“It is no fun getting up without you,” she said. “You spoiled me this week. Your wake-up calls are the best.”

“It’s interesting that you mention that now,” I said. Grabbing her around the waist, I set her on the table and stepped between her legs. “What do you say we fix up the showers and get you a decent practice space? Or build a real bedroom for us?”

“Mmmhmm.” She fisted my sweater and brought me closer until I was lowering her to the table. “As long as you don’t put Riley on the street. He’s kind of growing on me.”

“Yeah, he’s got a lot in common with foot fungus.” I pinned her, squeezing both hands around the globes of her ass. “You’re not wearing any underwear.”

“Nope,” she said, grinning.

“Hey,” Riley called. He refilled his cereal bowl and threw an annoyed glance at us. “Could you not make any babies while I eat breakfast?”

“It might be too late for that,” I said, gathering Tiel in my arms and hauling her off the table.

“What?” he yelled, his bowl clattering to the countertop and sending milk sloshing out the sides.

“Nothing, Riley. Nothing at all,” Tiel said.