Necromancing the Stone (28 page)

I frowned down at James’s little kitty form. “Why a cat?”

“Pardon?” His ears pricked forward and whiskers twitched.

“Generally, when I see you outside your room, unless you have to be human for something, you’re in kitty form. Why?”

His tail twitched in irritation, and I saw him trying to decide how he should answer me. “This form is good for sneaking. People don’t look down much.” He stared through the glass, and I watched as his pupils dilated while he followed Ramon’s spinning form. “I suppose I’m used to it. It’s comfortable.”

“Okay,” I said.

“Okay?” He seemed confused by my response.

“Yes, okay, as in I’ll stop forcing you to go human except when I actually need you in that form. I didn’t realize that you weren’t as comfortable that way.”

He turned his silver eyes on me and stared, pupils narrowing as he contemplated what I’d said. “Thank you?” He drew it out like a question, and I wasn’t sure if it was because he thought what I said was odd or if it was because he didn’t quite believe me yet.

The temptation to give his little kitty head a scratch was kind of overwhelming for a moment, but I didn’t think he’d appreciate it. Sure, I’d petted him once before, but I didn’t know he was a person then.

“Look, James, it’s pretty obvious I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. I’m winging it and hoping I do okay, but I just wanted you to know that I appreciate all the help you’ve given me and, well, I … I hope you like it here.” I wanted to tell him that I hoped we’d be friends someday, but I stumbled over it for some reason. I guess I wasn’t sure if we were friends now or not. Either way, he just scrutinized me for a good long time, then went back to staring out the window. I turned away quietly and headed to the bathroom to check on Taco, a creature I knew I could pet without getting my hand bitten off. You know, as long as he’d been fed first.

Taco was happy to see me, crawling quickly out of his nest, up my pant leg and onto my shoulder. This might have been a bad habit to let him get into because, once he’d gained his weight back, he might be kind of heavy, but on the other hand, he had very sharp claws and teeth, and it might have been an equally bad idea to refuse him.

By the time Nick got there, I was sitting on the porch watching the guys and Taco, who was chasing after a tennis ball and playing his new favorite game of “fetch the ball and chew on it instead of giving it back.” To my surprise, Nick wasn’t alone. Haley waved at me as she got out from behind the wheel.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

She cocked her head to the side in amusement. “You really think Nick could sneak out of the house without me knowing?”

Nick flopped down next to me on the porch. “I tried to talk her out of it, I really did, but she had the car keys.”

Taco jumped out of my lap and went to sniff Haley. “Trust me, I of all people know how impossible it is to talk Haley out of anything.”

Haley put her palm out for Taco to sniff. “So what’s the haps?”

I filled them in, which took all of a second because I didn’t know anything.

A van pulled up a short time later, its green sides sporting the logo of the parks department on it.

It was obvious to me, if not to the rest of the crew, that Gary was wearing his purchased glamour when he got out of the car. How did I know that? Because he just looked like a really big handsome dude and not a huge shag carpet, that’s why.

I introduced him and had Frank order the gnomes to stand down while Gary and I shook hands.

“Why don’t you come in, and we’ll take a look at what you’ve got.”

Gary nodded, a genial smile on his face. He walked around to the back of the van and wrenched the doors open. Then, to my surprise, he pulled the body of a man, bound and gagged, out of the back. The man didn’t struggle as Gary flung him over his shoulder.

“C’mon, you’re going to need some light for this, and I wouldn’t say no to a beer if you have any.” And with that, he walked into the house.

23

SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES

As we sat in my kitchen, I’m pretty sure we were all thinking about the same two things. One, that Sexy Gary, at least whilst under the glamour, was indeed worthy of his moniker. He was all thick-corded muscle, auburn hair, and dimples. I could easily imagine him in a hot firemen calendar or a sexy lumberjack photo shoot. Not that I spend a lot of time imagining those things.

My sister and Brid were eyeing him pretty openly, as was Sean, but in Sean’s case, it appeared speculative, like “should I start beefing up on the weights?” After about five seconds, I think he reverted back to his status quo of believing that he was already perfect. There was no reverting with Brid and Haley—they just kept right on looking.

I don’t consider myself a jealous man, but I grabbed Brid’s belt loop and pulled her closer to me. She smiled at me in understanding, because I am nothing if not transparent. I was a little worried about Haley until James stalked into the room, fully human and a little angry looking, and planted himself right between my sister and Brawny the Lumberjack. For an irrational moment, I wanted to shout, “All the women have been claimed!” in a dramatic fashion, but thankfully the moment passed. The girls would have beat me bloody if I’d even inferred it.

Haley raised an eyebrow at James, but he refused to look at her, his eyes firmly on the second surprise in my kitchen. I relaxed, knowing that James would keep Haley from fainting like some lovesick teen at the feet of Gary the Bigfoot. I may not always understand James, but he seemed fairly protective of Haley.

The second thing we were all thinking about was the guy tied to my kitchen chair. The air in the kitchen was still and quiet while we all stared at him.

Ramon spoke first. “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.”

I let my breath out in a whoosh. “Okay, so it’s not just me then?”

Ramon shook his head and leaned forward to poke him. “Weird, completely weird.”

I looked up at Sexy Gary, who seemed really pleased with himself as he grabbed another of Sean’s beers.

“Gary, can you please tell me why you’ve kidnapped Ted and brought him into my kitchen?”

The Bigfoot gestured at him with his beer hand. “Yeah, so, here’s the thing. Says his name is Minion, but it’s not, right? I mean, it’s totally him, or have I wandered into padded-room territory?”

“You’re not crazy.”

Gary looked relieved. “Good. So I was tracking, trying to find what was setting all the forest critters off, and I find this cabin. Now, it’s been empty for a few years, but it’s suddenly showing signs of life, and I see this one crawling around the bushes, making a huge racket.”

I peered closer at our kidnap victim. The resemblance was uncanny. Maybe it wasn’t him, though. Maybe it was an impersonator?

“So you brought him here?” Sean asked. “Why? Is it a crime to rent a cabin or something?”

“Cabin’s not rented to him. I checked. And he doesn’t smell right. He smells wrong—he smells like whatever I was tracking.”

Nick sidled up to me. “Sam, I think I know where he’s going with this. Have you looked at our new friend here? I mean, really looked?”

I did what he asked me to, even though I already knew what I was going to find. It was easier now, switching my vision over to my gift. Practice makes perfect, I guess. Sure enough, the man in front of us wasn’t alive. I was pretty sure I recognized the swirling mass of sickening blue inside of him, but just to make sure, I pulled the egg out of my pouch and held it up.

They matched. Shit.

I flipped back into regular sight and opened my eyes. “Okay, someone needs to tell me what the hell is going on around here.”

“What do you mean?” Ramon asked.

I held the egg up for him to see, realizing as I did that it wouldn’t mean a whole lot to him. “This,” I said. “This matches him.” I jerked a finger toward the zombie. “Only it can’t, because that’s impossible. Because I saw his dead body. And dead bodies can’t raise other dead bodies. That’s just crazy.”

Ramon grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. “Slow down and explain to us plebeians. If you have to, use sock puppets.” Taco scuttled up my leg onto my shoulder and hissed a warning at Ramon, who stared patiently at the little guy. “I’m not hurting him.”

“Douglas,” I said, holding up the egg so it was about an inch from Ramon’s eye.

Frank cleared his throat. “Why don’t we just ask him?”

We all turned to stare at Frank, and I think we were all feeling a little stupid right then. I know I was, at any rate. Ramon let go of me, and I turned around and pulled the gag off our houseguest.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“Minion.” He blinked at me slowly, considering. “Did I take the red pill or the blue pill?”

I smiled at him. “Let’s not get distracted, okay? Minion, who do you work for?”

“I work for Master!” He said this excitedly, like he’d done something right and deserved a treat.

“Ooookay.” I glanced at Nick.

“Minion, who is Master?” Nick enunciated slowly, as if to a child.

“Master is my friend. He is good. I like Master.”

“This is getting us nowhere,” I mumbled.

Nick kept his eyes on Minion. “Patience is a virtue.” He rested a hand on the zombie’s shoulder. “Why did Master call you, Minion? Do you know?”

The creature looked at us, confused, like we weren’t getting something. “Aren’t you friends of Master? You must be.” He nodded to himself, though the rope impeded some of the movement. “Otherwise, why would you have Master’s egg? Master told me all about it.” He had Ramon dig out a torn piece of paper, which showed a sketch of the jade egg. “See? Yes, you must know Master. You have the egg. And him. Hi, James.” He looked behind me and frowned. “Where did he go?” He tilted his head closer to Nick and me. “Did Master call him?” he whispered.

Nick and I looked at each other, then looked behind us. Everyone looked back, except for James, who was nowhere to be seen. I grabbed Haley’s shoulder, dragging her eyes off Gary and back onto me. “Haley, where is he? Where did James go?”

“Huh?” She stared at me stupidly.

Gary cursed and pulled a chain out of his pocket, slipping it over his head. “Sorry, forgot the other one.” He walked past us and levered the kitchen window open. “Blasted pheromones.”

Haley shook her head, her eyes clearing a little. “James? He was right here.”

I looked at Ramon. “Well, he’s not here now.” And I was betting he wasn’t anywhere in the house. “Just how stupid should I feel right now?”

“Let’s not make any judgment calls on that until all the facts are in.” Ramon pulled a knife out of the drawer and started slicing the ropes around Minion.

“Do you think that’s wise?” Frank asked.

“I really don’t think he’s a danger. And besides, he’s going to want to help us, aren’t you, Minion?” Ramon asked as he cut the zombie’s hands free.

“I am?” The zombie looked confused. Of course, he kind of always did, so that didn’t tell me much.

“Yeah,” I said, catching on to Ramon’s thought process a little. “Because your master wants this, right?” I held up the egg. Minion’s eyes zeroed in on it.

“Yes,” Minion said. It was quite obvious that his master did want it. How badly? Had he come looking for it? And when he didn’t find it, I wondered if he thought I had it. Knowing what I did of Douglas’s style, he might think it would be totally logical to threaten Haley in order to set me off guard or distract me from what he was up to. But that didn’t make sense either. If Douglas had made it that far, he’d have stabbed Haley, not her door. The past had told me he had no problem killing with little or no provocation. James had told my mom that she had to change her wards—they’d been set to only let in people who meant no harm. Douglas certainly lacked pure intentions, so he couldn’t have done it. Maybe he’d sent Minion. I didn’t think he had enough going on upstairs to actively mean harm to anyone.

“Then we’re going to take it to him, aren’t we?”

“We most certainly are,” Ramon said, kneeling to cut the rope around Minion’s feet.

Nick cleared his throat. “Are you sure about this, Sam?”

I adjusted Taco on my shoulder. He’d been moving around excitedly, probably picking up on all the tension. “I don’t think we have a choice. I’m stuck between a pack and a hard place.” I grabbed Brid’s hand. “We need permission to enter your territory.”

Her brow knitted, and she stuck her lower lip out in thought. “Why?”

“If Douglas is back somehow, we need to know. I think we can use the egg or even Minion here to call him out, but I don’t want to give him home-field advantage.” And I certainly didn’t want to see his corpse again. I tucked the egg back into my pouch so I wouldn’t lose it. “I think James has already gone back to him, and my hold here is too tenuous to expect everything else to choose me over him. And I’m certainly not going into some unknown wood to track him down.” I squeezed her hand. “And the pack needs to see this.”

She still had the “why?” look on her face. I could tell I hadn’t quite gotten through. “They need to see justice. We’ve been looking for a necromancer, remember? If we can show them that Douglas has returned … They have to witness that it was Douglas, not me, or they will never trust me again.”

Brid’s eyes squinted in thought. She glanced over at Sean, who merely gave her a one-shoulder shrug. “Couldn’t make things any worse,” he said.

She squeezed my hand back. “Okay.”

“You can get up now, Minion. We’re going to go for a ride.”

“Can I drive?” he asked hopefully. “I won’t go under fifty.”

“No,” Ramon said, patting him on the back. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“Yeah,” I said, “and Ramon would make a terrible Sandra Bullock.”

24

I’M A SOUL MAN

The coin was off, and he was drifting again.

This time he was thinking of his mother. He could only remember a few fuzzy details about her. Remembrances of his father were almost totally gone, wiped out by time and the fact that there hadn’t been much to begin with. His dad had worked a great deal, so it had mostly been his mother around.