Needed: Full-Time Father (Medical Romance) (10 page)

‘Poor air entry…’

Madison didn’t need to point out that at least he
had
some air entry now. The last few seconds before Guy had intubated Jackson had really been dire and Madison stood watching as the oxygen saturations that had been dipping into the high fifties started to lift, into the seventies then eighties, reaching a plateau around ninety per cent, which wasn’t great but was certainly much better than they’d had.

‘I want an adrenaline infusion,’ Guy said, not stopping when the paediatrician raced in, giving out orders. He had control, the patient still too critical to allow for a handover. The paediatric team respected that, listening intently as Madison filled them in while Guy worked on. But slowly he started handing over the reins when the situation allowed, discussing latest treatments and protocols, checking on the intensive care situation, working with the paediatricians and anaesthetist to stabilise this little life, until finally Beth had the confidence to leave him for a few moments, to go to the interview room and make an endless round of phone calls to let her family know what had taken place.

‘There’s no ICU beds, Mark.’ Madison came off the phone from the supervisor and addressed the paediatrician. ‘The one they did have has just been taken by a surgical patient. They’re extubating a patient in the next couple of hours so there’s a chance there could be one by evening…’

‘Or someone could die,’ Guy added. The appalling, hopeless irony hit its mark and Madison gave a weary smile.

‘There’s always that chance, I guess.’

‘He needs good intensive care.’ Mark tapped his pen against his thigh as he looked at the little boy. ‘I’m not saying that he won’t get that down here—’

‘I know you’re not,’ Madison broke in. ‘But there’s a very good chance that the ICU patient they’re talking about extubating won’t be up to being transferred and, as Guy pointed out, unless someone dies there’s not going to be an intensive care bed. Frankly, Mark, I don’t have the staff to special one patient for an indefinite period. Who knows what’s about to come through the doors? I’ve already rung the children’s hospital and told them the situation. They’re happy to take him, they can arrange for the paediatric emergency transfer team to collect him, but they need a doctor to give the go-ahead.’

‘Do you think I should ask for a helicopter or ambulance?’ Mark asked.

Madison glanced down at her watch. It was already nudging two forty-five and by the time the team were mobilized, it would be another hour before they arrived. The paediatric emergency transfer team was
highly skilled and organized, and they would take their time to get a good handover from the paediatrician and ensure Jackson was as stable as possible before the journey. So even though their response would be rapid, the actual retrieval would take some time and rush-hour traffic, combined with a critically ill child, wasn’t an ideal situation even if they were heading in the opposite direction to the peak-hour cars.

‘Helicopter,’ Madison said, and Mark nodded, heading out to pick up where Madison had left off.

‘Amazing!’ Guy said, shaking his head in disbelief then saying it again. ‘Amazing.’

‘What is?’ Madison asked. She checked Jackson’s obs and popped a fresh sheet over him and a small flat pillow under his head to make him look more comfortable before Beth came back in. But unlike most doctors, Guy unfolded the sheet with Madison from the other side of the bed, picking up a few discarded wrappers and generally tidying up with her as they chatted. Even though they were both avoiding each other’s eyes, both clearly a touch uncomfortable, they pushed aside all that happened yesterday—a patient’s bedside, even if he was unconscious, not the place to discuss what had taken place. Madison was grateful for the small reprieve.

‘Helicopter or ambulance! It just rolls off your tongue. I still can’t get used to it—hell, I still can’t get used to having a choice of antibiotics, a phone I can pick up and have any number of specialists racing down to assist.’

‘But are you enjoying it?’ Madison asked. It sounded like a stupid question but, being used to Emergency, she knew that as angst-ridden as his relief work might have been, in many ways Guy would have enjoyed the autonomy, the chance to make a very real difference in the most dire of circumstances. And he had done that over and over—from the tiny glimpses he had revealed, Madison knew that Guy had witnessed many things.

‘Actually, I am enjoying it,’ Guy said. ‘And I have to admit it’s come as a pleasant surprise. Since I was in England I haven’t worked in an actual structured health system, and I thought I’d be wringing my hands at the injustice of it all. But instead I’m just glad to finally be in a well-stocked, well-run hospital and able to use my brain.’

‘I’m sure you used your brain before,’ Madison rebuked. ‘As you said, you had no back-up.’

‘To tell you the truth, I felt more like an odd-job man at times, making do with this, trying out that. I’ve made hundreds of IV splints out of bits of wood, incubators with a couple of light globes and a rattly old generator. It’s a bit of a novelty asking for something and actually getting it!’ He stared down at Jackson, sedated and with a tube down his throat, lines and monitors everywhere. But his obs were more stable and there was a hint of colour in a face that had been way too pale. Guy brushed back the damp, sweaty hair from his forehead. ‘You might not realize it, Jackson, but you’re a very lucky boy.

‘I’d better go and speak to Beth and tell her about the transfer.’

‘And I’d better hand over Jackson to the late shift, it’s nearly time for me to go home.’

By the time Madison had spoken again with the transfer team, liaised with Mark and handed Jackson over to the late shift nurse who was covering the resuscitation room, Guy was back. ‘How’s Beth?’ Madison asked as she pulled on her jacket and handed over the drug keys and pager to her replacement.

‘Not great,’ Guy admitted. ‘From what Beth told me, she’s really struggled to let go a bit. His asthma and allergies have been difficult to control and it took a lot for her to send him to school, to let him go to parties—this isn’t going to help. I’ve told her that, given the severity of his reaction, Jackson’s going to have to carry adrenaline now, and that his carers will be trained to administer it, but at the end of the day I can’t blame her one bit for not wanting to ever let him out of her sight again. I can’t believe the school let this happen.’

‘Oh, come on, Guy,’ Madison said. Information had started to trickle in and a child sitting next to Jackson had been eating peanut butter sandwiches. ‘We know how sever a genuine nut allergy can be, but most people don’t. Can you imagine how awful the school is feeling right now, how that poor mum who made her kid’s lunch today is going to feel when she finds out that the sandwiches she made nearly killed another child?’

‘I guess.’ Guy gave a weary smile. ‘That’s one kid who won’t be having peanut butter ever again.’

‘Two.’ Madison grinned. ‘At least Emily won’t be
having it in her lunchbox at school any more. Anyway, I’d better go.’

‘Me, too,’ Guy said, smothering a yawn. ‘I’ve had enough of this place for a week.’

As she turned to go Guy called her back. ‘Can I walk out with you?’

And even though her back was to him Madison knew that, like her, he was holding his breath. Turning slowly, she nodded, taking the biggest, bravest step of her life. ‘I’d like that.’

Of course it was never that easy. Guy had a list of things he had to do, a couple of quick phone calls to make and a chart to sign off, and the most obvious thing in the world would have been for Madison to just walk off. It was the only thing she’d have done just a day ago, but today she found herself waiting, a tiny bit embarrassed perhaps but waiting all the same. Eventually they walked through the department and out into the car park.

‘How did you do with your life coach?’ Guy asked, a tiny teasing ring to his voice.

‘I sacked her,’ Madison responded, smiling at his rather shocked response. ‘Well, when I say I sacked her, we amicably agreed that perhaps we’d run our course.’

‘Madison…’ Guy started, but Madison just shook her head.

‘It was nothing you said, Guy. The simple truth of the matter is that for a while there it worked for me. I needed someone to guide me through the jumble my life was in and Kerry fitted the bill—cool detachment and
an objective opinion was exactly what I needed for a while.’

‘And now?’ When Madison didn’t answer, Guy spoke for her, gave her another question to dwell on. ‘How about I come over tonight? Just to talk, Madison. We kind of left things in the air yesterday.’

‘I’d like that,’ Madison was amazed to find herself admitting, amazed that she had actually managed to say it! ‘Only I’m babysitting for my friend tonight.’

‘Tomorrow night, then?’

‘Same again.’ Madison winced. ‘I owe Helen a lot of favours after this week. I don’t usually rely so heavily on her. Anyway, I’m not sure it’s a good idea, you coming to the house. I don’t want Emily to think…’ Her voice trailed off. How could she explain to a man as footloose and fancy-free as Guy the drama that could ensue from a simple dinner date, that the last thing she wanted to do was expose Emily to even a hint that she was dating, until Madison was sure that she really was dating, so to speak? But how on earth was she supposed to start dating without being able to accept a casual dinner invitation?

‘I could bring a briefcase,’ Guy offered, smiling as it became clear that Madison had no idea what he was on about. ‘In fact, there are a few things I’d like to go over with you, given that I’m taking over from Gerard. A business dinner.’ Guy grinned as Madison blinked back at him. ‘A colleague dropping over for a chat, and he just happens to be bringing some Chinese food with him, maybe even a nice bottle of wine.’

‘But we can’t. I mean, there can’t be any repeats…’ Madison swallowed hard, knowing that, as Emily and Richard were going to be there, she had to make this absolutely clear, but blushing to her roots as she did so. ‘We can’t do anything.’

‘You mean, we can’t rip our clothes off and do it on your lounge room floor again?’ Guy asked, somehow managing to keep a straight fact as Madison’s cheeks turned purple. But despite her embarrassment, she was glad it was out in the open, grateful to him for bringing it up, joking about it even.

‘No,’ Madison managed, fumbling in her bag for her keys and wrenching her car door open, desperate for the relief of the stuffy confines of a car that had been in the sun all day, as opposed to the hothouse of emotions Guy was stirring up. ‘And,’ she added, winding down her window, marginally safer now there was a metal door between them, ‘I actually prefer Thai food.’

‘T
HANK
you so much for this.’ Helen accepted a glass of wine from Madison with a shaking hand. ‘You have no idea how nervous I am.’

‘Well, you look stunning,’ Madison reassured her friend, and every word was genuine. Helen’s pale blonde hair had been beautifully trimmed and blow-dried, her face was gently made up and the permanent jeans and T-shirt had been replaced with a simple black dress. ‘You’ve got legs!’ Madison winked.

‘I’ve got very smooth legs,’ Helen corrected. ‘And painted toenails. I wish I could stop shaking for five minutes. He’s going to think I’ve got alcohol withdrawal or something. I’m a nervous wreck!’

‘But what have you got to be nervous about? He’s only taking you to dinner—you can talk under water at the best of times.’

‘It’s the fourth course I’m worried about,’ Helen moaned. ‘You know that horrible bit, where you decide whether or not to ask him in for coffee. I feel like a virgin on her wedding night, worse even! I’d have no idea
what to do if I actually found myself naked and alone with a man. It’s been so long!’

‘Helen!’

Helen grinned. ‘I’m hardly going to sleep with him on our first date. What sort of girl do you take me for!’ She was too busy with her own problems to notice Madison’s flaming cheeks, and anyway, Madison consoled herself as she wiped the kitchen bench for the hundredth time, it would never enter Helen’s head that Madison could behave in such a way. She could tell her the truth right here and now and Helen simply wouldn’t believe the wild passionate sex that Madison had indulged in so recently. Berating herself for the umpteenth time for her actions yesterday, appalled at her behaviour, Madison was curiously excited all the same, thrilled at the tiny glimpse of not Madison the nurse or mum or widow but Madison the woman.

‘Not that I don’t want to do anything…’ Helen carried on, completely unaware that she’d lost her audience. ‘It’s just—Oh, I don’t know. I want him to want me, but I don’t want him to do anything about it yet. I just want to know that he wants to. Does that make sense?’ She was so wrapped up in her own dilemma she didn’t even notice that Madison didn’t answer. ‘It’s just so hard the second time around. I never thought I’d be shaving my entire body again just to go out for dinner, or washing behind my ears just in case he decides to lick them.’ She let out a loud laugh that had Madison snapping back to attention. ‘Not that I want them to be licked, but you never know!’

‘Licked?’ Madison asked, desperately trying to appear as if she had been listening and aware she was failing miserably.

‘I just want to be prepared for any eventuality.’ Helen shrugged at Madison’s bemusement. ‘Anyway, enough about me. I’ve hired a couple of DVDs for the kids so hopefully you won’t hear a peep out of them.’

‘They’ll be fine,’ Madison assured Helen, still trying to work out what she had missed. ‘Anyway, I’ve got a colleague coming over from the hospital to go over a few things…’

‘Who?’ Helen asked idly, taking a sip of her wine. And then, for the first time since she’d arrived, her mind moved from her impending date and she actually looked at Madison, a slow smile breaking out on her face. ‘Wow—look at you!’

‘What?’ Madison shuffled uncomfortably. ‘I’m wearing shorts and a T-shirt.’

‘Oh, but there’s shorts and a T-shirt and then there’s shorts and a T-shirt! You look amazing.’

Not quite amazing, Madison thought, but she was pleased with her appearance tonight. Her newly washed hair hung in a sleek heavy mass, thanks to some horribly expensive conditioner and, like Helen, her smooth legs glowed with body lotion. Her outfit consisted of a pair of smart, coffee-coloured, tailored shorts and a scoop-necked tight T-shirt, just the softest of soft leather belts providing a contrast. Her newly painted coral toenails peeped through her very new sandals.

‘I assume it isn’t Shirley, the nursing supervisor,
coming over to discuss a few things with you,’ Helen teased lightly.

‘No.’ Madison shrugged, picking up a dishcloth and scrubbing the bench again.

‘Or Alanna—the wannabe NUM?’

‘No.’

‘Then who on earth could it be?’ Helen frowned then her face broke into a wicked smile. ‘It couldn’t be the dashing new consultant, could it?’ Helen teased, her lips twitching wider as Madison tensed. ‘The one who looks as if he’s just rolled out of bed?’

‘Yes, in fact, it is Guy that happens to be coming over, but it’s just to discuss a few things. Now that he’s the acting director he needs to come up to speed with what Gerard was implementing. There’s a lot to discuss and at work whenever we try to talk, one of us invariably gets called away. It’s no big deal so, please, don’t make it one.’

‘Whatever you say, Madison.’ Helen grinned and gave her a saucy wink. ‘Right, I’m off to meet my Friday night date. I’ve told Richard that I’m going out with an old friend from school, just in case he asks. You enjoy your business dinner.’

It would have been so easy to make Helen squirm in return, to tell her that not only did Emily and Richard know exactly where she was off to tonight, but no doubt so did half the school. But Madison simply didn’t have the heart to deliver payback so instead she followed Helen along the hallway.

‘Good luck,’ Madison called, once Helen had kissed
Richard goodnight and was walking down the garden path towards her own house. ‘Helen?’

She watched her friend turn around but instead of saying what was on her mind, instead of asking her if she was mad to be having Guy over, if she was making the most stupid mistake of her life, Madison just gave another wave to her friend. But they’d been through too much together for Helen not to be able to read her mind.

‘Good luck, Madison,’ Helen called. ‘You’ll be fine.’

Helen had actually been right.

Fraught with nerves, Madison answered the door in a blind panic, wondering what on earth she’d agreed to, what on earth they were going to talk about, how Emily was going to react to a strange man in the house. Appalling scenarios raced through her head, but they were quelled almost instantly. Guy, relaxed and casual in jeans and a T-shirt, had brought enough food to feed an army, which gave Madison a chance to utilise her trembling hands, by laying the table and pulling the goodies out of the brown paper bags. Emily wandered in with a curious look on her face, followed by Richard.

‘Hello!’ Suspiciously she eyed Guy. ‘Who are you?’

‘My name’s Guy,’ he said. ‘I’m a doctor from the hospital. You must be Emily.’ When she didn’t answer, just stood with her hands on her hips staring boldly at him, Guy explained further. ‘I’ve got a few things to talk over with your mum.’

‘About the hospital?’ Emily asked, rolling her eyes.

‘Yep.’ Guy nodded. ‘I brought some dinner as well. Do you want some?’

‘Yuck,’ Emily responded as Madison scooped out some Thai green curry. ‘I don’t like anything that smells.’

‘That rules out a lot of food.’ Guy grinned. ‘You really don’t like anything that smells?’

‘Well, I guess I like tuna,’ Emily ventured, and Madison watched as a gap-toothed smile appeared on her face. ‘And that stinks!’

‘Yeah, but it’s brain food,’ Guy answered easily. ‘If it makes you clever, I guess you can forgive it for smelling. Are you sure you don’t want to try some of the curry?’

And Madison watched, opened-mouthed, as Emily wandered over, picked up a fork and dipped it into the food, twirling the noodles around and closing her eyes as she tasted it.

‘It’s…’ Her five-year-old dictionary didn’t quite have the capacity to give a detailed description, but actions spoke louder than words when her fork dipped back to the plate and scooped up another mouthful. ‘It’s really nice,’ she finally agreed. ‘Smelly but nice—and it burns your tongue even after you’ve swallowed it! I’m full now but can we get it some night, Mum?’

‘Sure,’ Madison answered, but her throat had gone dry and she wished she had a daughter who adored nuggets and chips or burgers with extra cheese—not a five-year-old who actually liked Thai green curry.

‘Come on, Em,’ Richard called, obviously appalled
at the prospect of sitting down with two oldies and eating such disgusting food. ‘The movie’s about to start.’

‘You’re watching a movie?’ Guy asked. ‘Then you’ll need this—even if you are full!’ He held out a bag and Madison watched as Emily took it and opened it. She grinned and showed the contents to Richard, who in a nano-second revised his opinion of Guy, meeting his palm with a deft ‘high five’ then scuttling back to the lounge room.

‘Popcorn?’ Madison smiled, pouring out two glasses of wine and heading for the table. ‘Any five-year-old would sell their soul for it.’

‘I hope you don’t mind.’

‘Of course not.’

The food was delicious and the talk came surprisingly easily. They chatted about work at first, gossiping about their fellow colleagues until finally, when the plates had been cleared and the kids were on their second movie, Madison found the courage to say what was on her mind.

‘About yesterday…’

‘Please, don’t apologise,’ Guy said. ‘Please, don’t cheapen it.’

‘I’m not sorry.’ Boldly she stared back at him, taking in the evident surprise on his face at her reaction. ‘I’m embarrassed, mortified, stunned that I gave in so easily…’

‘Please, don’t feel bad about it. I know it was probably completely out of character for you, but if it’s any consolation, it was for me as well.’

‘Really?’ Madison raised a questioning eyebrow. ‘I would have thought there would have been a few nurses to fill those long lonely nights under a mosquito net.’

‘Really.’ Guy insisted. ‘You can forget the romantic image you’ve got of my life. Generally there’s no running water, so by the end of a long hot day and a few weeks without a shower, getting up close and personal isn’t exactly at the top of anyone’s agenda. The work’s so damn exhausting that by the time you’ve patched up the holes in the mosquito net all you want to do is sleep. I’ve had a couple of romances along the way, but I can assure you, Madison, that AID work isn’t some sort of extended, boozy, singles holiday club!’

‘I know.’ Suitably chastised, Madison gave a small shrug. ‘The thing is,’ Madison said slowly, running a nervous finger around her wineglass, ‘I think I may have misled you, made you think that I was on the lookout for some sort of relationship.’

‘I was very happy to be misled.’ Guy grinned, but his voice grew serious when it became clear Madison had something important to say. Checking that the kids were settled, Madison closed the living-room door before joining him back at the kitchen table.

‘When people find out that you’re a widow, they assume that you had a happy marriage and you’re suddenly exalted to almost a nun-like status. The fact of the matter is that I don’t feel guilty about yesterday because of some misguided loyalty to Mark—that’s my late husband,’ she added, and Guy nodded his understanding. ‘Mark and I were having some very serious problems.
I fell head over heels in love with him the day I met him. My parents warned me about him, said that he was irresponsible, that he couldn’t be relied on, but I didn’t listen. We were married within six months of meeting and the next thing I knew I was pregnant.’

Madison took a deep breath. ‘Then I realized that my parents had been right all along. Mark was completely irresponsible. He adored Emily, but he certainly didn’t let her stifle him. He still went away with his friends, still blew a small fortune on motorbikes and holidays, and goodness knows what else. Two days before he died I’d decided to leave him. When he was killed, it turned out that he’d “forgotten” to pay insurance for his bike, had “forgotten” to take out life insurance and “forgotten” to tell me that he’d forged my signature to remortgage the house.’

‘Oh, Madison.’ Instinctively he reached out and took her hand, but as right as it felt, as much as she needed comfort now, mindful of Emily, Madison pulled her hand away, fiddling instead with her hair, winding a newly washed lock round and round one finger as she relived the bleakest time of her life.

‘It’s taken me years to get my life together, to build a secure home for Emily. That’s why I’ve been seeing Kerry—the life coach. She’s helped me get my career moving, helped me finally get my finances in order. I never want to be in that sort of position again. I’m actually not a materialistic person. When I was married to Mark I was impulsive and spontaneous, but look where it got me.’

‘You’ve done well,’ Guy said softly. ‘You’ve got a friendly, welcoming home, and even though I’ve only met her briefly, Emily seems incredibly together and confident.’

‘She is,’ Madison said fondly. ‘The thing is, she’s also very like her father and sometimes I get scared for her.’

‘Why?’

‘That she’s going to be nightmare as a teenager, that she’ll suddenly quit school and get her eyebrow pierced, or, worse still, decide to join a bikie gang…’ She looked up as Guy did the most inappropriate thing—laughed at her fears. But it was totally without malice and Madison found herself smiling too and finally laughing, the fears that haunted her almost disappearing now that she’d voiced them.

‘She’s a little girl,’ Guy said, topping up her wineglass. ‘You’ve got a good few years before you have to start worrying about that type of thing. Anyway, she’s got you to guide her.’

‘I know,’ Madison admitted.

‘Do you also know that most parents worry about that type of thing?’

‘I guess,’ Madison admitted.

‘Though not where I’ve been lately,’ Guy said. ‘There aren’t too many motorbike gangs and body-piercing salons. Still,’ he added, his voice serious now, ‘they have their own very real fears to deal with, their own concerns for their children growing up, and it’s not just about where their next meal’s going to come from.
They do have the problem of their kids being led astray, falling into the wrong company. Believe me, ten-year-olds with guns are a reality in some places.’

‘Gosh.’ Madison blinked, appalled at the thought, half-forgotten news articles coming to mind. ‘At least that’s one thing I don’t have to worry about.’

‘There’s one thing you should be worrying about, though,’ Guy said gently, and Madison screwed her eyes closed, knowing what was coming next. ‘Yourself.’