Needing You (21 page)

“Why not?” I ask curiously.

“That’s for another conversation, one I don’t want to have here,” he says with a small smile.

I can tell that he misses Parker’s friendship.  From what Tuck’s told me, they were best friends growing up, but I have no idea what happened.  Definitely something I need to bring up soon to find out what went wrong between them.

“Okay, are you having fun?” I ask Tuck trying to change topics.

“I am now that I see your beautiful face,” he says sweetly while staring down into my crazy lusty eyes.

“Oh you’re good mister. I gotta get back to work, so I will see you in a bit!” I state with the biggest damn smile.

“You can bet on it,” he says with a sexy smile, before walking back to his table of friends

I get back to work and can’t help but watch Natalie’s looks toward me.  I know she has questions; I’m just not sure I have answers. I see Tuck a few times throughout the night, but never long enough to have a conversation.  I also see Parker getting pretty drunk, which is unusual for him.  

The night is getting busier and busier by the minute and before I know it, the bar is packed.  Natalie and I are running around serving drinks and trying to keep the customers happy. Finally, after nonstop customers, we announce last call.  I cannot wait to get out of here.  I spot Tuck and smile sexily at him, well at least I try.

Tuck tells me he will wait outside until I finish up because all customers have to leave. Nat and I restock all the coolers and help clean up before heading outside ourselves.

Walking outside was a mistake.  I hear yelling and slurs and a bunch of people standing around.  I make my way over to see Parker, drunk as hell, bitching at Tuck. Great, just how I wanted my evening to end up.

“Tuck, what’s going on?” I ask.

“Stay back Harp, Park’s drunk and a bit irritated,” he says in a warning tone.

“A bit irritated, no Tuck I’m not irritated, Harper is too good for you and you need to let her the hell alone. She doesn’t need for you to fuck shit up for her or mess with her head,” Park yells.

I step in not allowing for this nonsense to continue any longer. “Parker, I told you I’m fine, everything is good. You’re drunk, you need to go home and sleep it off,” I try to reason with Parker. He looks at me and then back to Tuck.

“Tuck, does Harper know the whole story or only your edited version of it? Does she know what the fuck you did to me and my family? Did you tell her that shit?” Park yells, but his look is focused on me. 

Oh shit, this cannot be good and by the look on Tuck’s face, he has a story to tell there.

“No Park, I haven’t told her about the situation with you and me. I plan on doing it, but obviously you seem to think it will be better coming from you,” Tuck yells back at Parker

“At least she would get the whole truth and not your edited bullshit,” Park slurs back.

“I haven’t fucking edited anything. I told her the damn truth and I will tell her the damn truth about how I fucked up and ruined our friendship too,” Tuck yells, and I see sadness in his eyes. Whatever happened between them is bad.

“Well then tell her, I’m waiting. Let see if she still wants your dumb ass once she sees the real kind of man you are Tuck,” Park yells at Tuck.

I step in and yell at both of them, “Look you two, we are NOT discussing this shit here. Parker, I will talk to Tuck and he will tell me the truth, but it will not be here in public.  We are leaving, Parker I suggest you do the same.”

Then I grab Tuck’s arm and pull him out of the crowd that has appeared around us. 

Once we get into the car I turn to Tuck, “Look we are not going to discuss this tonight. I want to enjoy the rest of my night with you. We can discuss this shit another time,” I say, finally taking a breath.

“Okay. Thanks Harp,” Tuck says as he grabs a hold of my hand and holds it the entire drive back to my dorm. We get back to my dorm and I hop into the shower and get ready for bed. I crawl in beside Tuck and get comfortable.

“Have I told you how amazing you are?” Tuck asks me surprising me.

“Umm definitely not, go ahead and fill me in!” I say laughing.

Before I know it Tucker starts tickling me and I’m laughing and struggling to get away and then he stops and looks into my eyes, “You are so special and you’re all mine!” Then he kisses me senseless.  Eventually we fall asleep in each other’s arms.

Chapter 22

For the next few weeks Tuck and I fall into a routine. We see each other as much as possible and he spends the night a few times a week. We make sure to see each other around our work schedules and things are looking good. Every time one of us starts to bring up the past the other says, not today.  It’s like we both know the inevitable, which is that once the past comes out the other one will run, so we avoid it like the plague.

I want to tell Tuck the truth about my past, but I’m scared shitless.  Not just for telling him about what I’ve been through, but for having to relive it as well.  I’m still in therapy and my shrink thinks I need to let him know and soon. Avoiding it can only make things harder and possibly worse. 

When it’s the right time, I will open up and tell my darkest secrets.  I just hope like hell that Tucker will still look at me the same way.

Tuck and I make out like teenagers and yes I’m itching to do more, but my good ol’ shrink says I need to tell Tucker my past before I allow us to take that step in our relationship, all in good time.

Another week goes by and things are great, but unfortunately the time is coming for Tuck and I to talk.  We decide since we have a three-day weekend coming up, we will talk about our pasts, starting Friday.

To say I’m nervous would be an understatement, so I’ve scheduled an extra session with my therapist to help me cope with what I am going to discuss with Tuck.

I want the week to drag, but obviously it’s not going the way I want.  Before I know it the week is already ending and tomorrow is the big day.

To say the extra therapy session went well would be an understatement. I gave myself a freaking panic attack. God, I hate this and I hate not knowing what Tuck is going to think or do.

“Hey beautiful,” Tuck says as he kisses my forehead interrupting my train of thought.

“Hey Tuck, how was class?” I ask out of habit.

“Good, but thankfully it’s over. Want to hang out?” he asks with a cute smile on his face.

“Sure, but I thought you had to work tonight,” I ask surprised.

“I was supposed to but something came up, so I’m not needed. Plus I think we need a night to hang out without the fear of tomorrow haunting us. Harp, I can tell that you’re freaked out and so am I a little bit, but I want you to know that everything is going to be just fine,” he says assuring me.

“I hope so,” I say quietly. Gosh I hope he’s right. 

“Come here, look at me babe,” and I do look at his beautiful dark brown eyes with hope, “we are going to be just fine.  There is nothing you could say that would change the way I feel about you. Do you hear me?” he says sweetly while holding my stare.

“Yes, I feel the same way so don’t you worry either,” I tell him slightly breathless.  Just staring at him makes me a pile of goo.

Tucker kisses me passionately and damn if I don’t want to kiss him all night long. We head back to my dorm and hang out and eat and just talk about lots of nothing and enjoy the rest of the evening. Then, I get to fall asleep in Tuck’s arms.  I’m getting used to sleeping in Tuck’s arms, if tomorrow doesn’t go well, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Unfortunately, the night doesn’t go as planned because I wake up screaming with Tuck looking at me with worry. 

“Harp, it’s okay. I’m here, I got you,” he says as he wraps me in his arms.  The tears are streaming down my face and I’m trying to calm down.  I hate the damn nightmares and realizing I am going to have to tell Tuck what happened makes it even more frightening. I don’t know if I can do this. Not yet, I’m not ready.

Tuck holds me and rocks me back and forth until finally I fall back asleep in his arms without ever saying a word to him. The comfort he gives me is more than I can imagine and I’m not ready for him to walk away from me. Unfortunately, when he knows my darkest secrets, he won’t stay.  He’ll see how damaged I am and realize he doesn’t want this craziness in his life.

When morning comes I wake up and decide I need to run to release the stress that has been building up for days. Tuck’s still asleep, so I decide not to wake him.  I get my running gear on and head out the door.

I decide I am going to run until I just can’t go anymore. My run is helping, but damn if my fears aren’t coming full force to the surface.  I run 16 miles today and well, that is the farthest I’ve ever run, I just couldn’t stop. I need to run, run away my problems, my fears, my stress; I need to just run away from it all. Unfortunately, that includes Tuck too right now.  

By the time I head back into my dorm, I see Tuck looking worried as all hell. Crap, I should have left him a note.

“Where the hell have you been? It’s been hours since I woke up and you were gone,” he says looking at me with complete worry and fear showing across his face.

“I went for a run. Sorry, I should have left you a note or something,” I say apologetically.

“Harp, you could have waked me up, I would have run with you,” he says looking defeated.

“You looked comfortable and I just needed to be alone with my thoughts for a bit,” I say shyly.

“Are you okay? You can talk to me,” he says nervously. He leads me to the couch to sit and holds my hand tightly.

“I’m better now.  Honestly, I don’t feel like having a heart-to-heart today.  Do you mind if we do this another time?  I just want to relax and enjoy a nice day out,” I plea, hoping he will agree.  I’m not ready to tell him all my shit quite yet. 

“God Harp, if I would’ve realized that’s what made you freak out and go running like a crazy person for hours, I would have told you that last night.  We can talk about things another time. Come here,” he says all worried. Tuck wraps me in his arms and just holds me and hugs me tighter to his body and kisses the top of my head. 

“Why don’t we go and have a picnic in the park today?” he asks with a slight smile.

“That sounds great,” I smile up at him, excited that he is okay with my change of plans.

“Okay, go get showered and I will meet you back here in thirty minutes.  I’m going to run home quick and get everything we need and I will be back to pick you up!” he says excitedly.

“Okay!”  I lock the door once Tuck leaves and head into the shower to get ready for a nice day outside. Finally looking forward to today, rather than dreading it like before. I have no idea what I did to deserve Tucker in my life, but I am not giving him up. He’s too good to be true sometimes. I just hope that isn’t a sign.

Tuck is back and ready to go so we start to head out to have our picnic in the park. “Hey Harp, don’t forget your camera,” he says before we close the door.

“Great idea, thanks!” I say as I run back in to my bedroom to grab it.

“Okay let’s go!” I say returning with my camera bag. I take Tuck’s hand and we walk towards his car.  He opens my door and I slide in waiting excitedly for our picnic in the park.

It’s gorgeous outside and today is an amazing day to have a picnic.

“So, what did you pack for lunch?” I ask instantly once he gets in the car.

“It’s a surprise, so you’ll just have to wait,” he says teasingly

“Well it better be good, because I’m starving,” I state with a smile. I’m not worried about lunch because Tuck knows practically all my favorite foods and boy am I hungry.

It takes a few minutes for Tuck to park the car and we unload the trunk.  The sun is shining but it’s not too hot and humid out, it’s such a beautiful day.  Once we find the perfect spot, I lay the blanket down and Tuck puts the picnic basket down on the blanket before taking his shoes off and plopping down on the blanket too.

“Wow, basket and all, you went all-out,” I say giggling.

“Sure did, if we are going to have a picnic we need the picnic basket!” he says sweetly.

“So, what did you pack in that basket?” I ask while trying to reach across the blanket to grab at it. Tuck snatches it back out of reach before I can get to it.

“Not so fast! Let’s see, we have ham and cheese sandwiches, we have grapes, we have bar-b-que chips, and for dessert we have chocolate covered strawberries,” he says with a sexy smirk. 

“I must say you did well, can I start with dessert please?” I ask laughing and practically drooling at the mouth.

“Ha-ha no, those are for later,” he states matter of fact.

“Fine!” I say as Tuck hands me a ham and cheese sandwich and I start inhaling it.  I did say I was hungry.

“Hungry much Harp?” Tuck asks with a laugh.

“What, I said I was starving, I wasn’t kidding,” I state through bites.

“I can see that,” he says still laughing.

We eat our food in comfortable silence and when all the food is gone I eagerly await my dessert. “Give me, give me, give me,” I say holding my hand out for a chocolate covered strawberry.

“Not so fast Harp,” he says with a laugh, “You have to earn a strawberry.”

“Huh?” I look at him questioningly.

He pulls out a deliciously looking strawberry and dangles it in front of me and repeats, “Harp, you have to earn the strawberry,” he says with a sexy mischievous tone.

“Grrr, what are the rules.” I ask. I want that damn fruit.  He knows they’re my favorite and torturing me like this is just not nice.

“I’ll tell you something, you tell me something.  If I think your answers worthy you get a delicious treat,” he states showing me his gorgeous smile.

“That’s not fair,” I pout.

“I make the rules,” he says with a laugh.

“Ugh fine, start,” I relent.

“Harper, I am thankful every day that you are in my life,” he says sweetly. Well shit, I had no idea we were getting serious with our comments, but damn what a way to start.  I just stare at him; he made me speechless for a minute.

“Well I am glad you are in my life too Tuck, now give me that treat!” I say, then try to reach for my tasty treat that’s waiting for me.