So today she’d wallow in it. She’d feel sorry for herself and allow the pitchfork-holding devil on her shoulder to convince her she was the innocent victim.
Self-help gurus and her dead therapist were wrong about wallowing being counterproductive. She’d never been so pampered or felt so understood. Pity was her best friend.
Tomorrow she’d pick up the pieces. First, she’d transfer Sam’s listings over to Ralph. He was young and hungry and he’d do a great job. She wouldn’t renege on her agreement with Sam. Spinning Hills would still be where they’d keep their headquarters, and Cassie and Ralph would both work the Cincinnati and Dayton markets, but in an organized manner.
Planning ahead soothed and grounded her.
She sat in the middle of her sofa, a bag of chips on one side, a pint of butter pecan on the other, and channel-surfed everything that wasn’t news coverage of her father’s sham resignation until she came to an episode of
Women Who Go Off the Rails.
It was the perfect pick-me-up. Her parents’ plotting and Sam’s lies paled in comparison. The narrator was just about to get to the good part, how two neighbors had hidden their affair for three decades, when there was a knock at the door.
Cassie increased the volume on the TV. The knocking grew louder. Cassie hit the plus sign on the volume button again, and the person on the other side banged. “Ugh.” She got up, swung open the door wearing her scariest evil eyes, and nearly fell over when she saw both Jessica and Heather standing out front.
She could’ve slammed the door on their faces, but she was too hurt. She looked at Jessica, wondering why her friend would bring Heather straight to her door. Looking at Sam’s ex-wife and Jake’s mom, Cassie again felt the nausea-inducing shock of realizing who Sam had ended up marrying.
“A lesser friend would buckle and follow your orders, but that’s not what you need. You need to listen to what she has to say.”
Cassie looked over at Heather and swallowed hard. She wanted to project strength and confidence, but there she was, in her pink-checkered pajamas that clashed mightily with her wild red hair, and there was Heather, her long blond hair falling in perfect waves and her long, perfect limbs clad in a chic sweater and skinny jeans. Cassie hid behind the door and forced herself to focus on what mattered. “We don’t need to talk. It was a long time ago. You’re Jake’s mom and he’s a great kid. That’s what’s important.”
Heather looked down and wrung her hands. “What I have to say is important, too. Please let me say it.”
Looking at her was painful. Heather might feel like she owed Cassie an explanation, but Cassie didn’t feel like she owed it to her to listen. Enough was enough. How freaking understanding did she have to be? “I’m sorry, but I have to think of myself right now and I really don’t want to do this. You and I don’t owe each other anything. No hard feelings, bye!” Cassie tried to close the door again, but Heather stuck her foot between the door and the frame and Cassie was close to telling her she hadn’t changed a bit if she kept on doing whatever the heck she wanted to do with no thought for anyone else.
“I’m not forcing myself on you to ease my conscience. I’m forcing myself on you for your sake and Sam’s.”
Cassie looked down at Heather’s high-heeled, perfectly smooth foot. If she shut the door on it hard, or shoved her, Heather could potentially fall down the stairs and take Jessica along with her. Then they would all end up on an episode of
Women Who Go Off the Rails.
Her parents would have epic, heart attack inducing fits over it and Cassie would lose her business.
So she took a deep breath and held it as she stepped back and gestured for them to come in.
Heather blew out a breath and faced Cassie the moment she shut the door. “I’ve been rehearsing what I want to say for a while now, so I’m just going to come out and say it.” She took a breath. “I kissed Sam that day. He didn’t initiate anything. There was nothing going on between us before that, and nothing went on for a long time after. I’m not sorry it happened because it all led to Jake, but I’ve always been sorry my actions hurt you. I wasn’t out to steal someone else’s guy, I was hurting at the moment, and I wasn’t myself. I had this boyfriend, who played baseball with Sam, and he had recently left me for my best friend. They weren’t intentionally cruel about it. They felt awful. They felt so sorry for me that it felt all the more humiliating, and I never saw it coming.”
Heather took another breath before rushing on. “Anyway, I know that’s neither here nor there for you, but my point is that I knew Sam was hurting that day too and I wanted to make my ex jealous . . . I know my opinion doesn’t count, but I’ve never felt that Sam cheated on you that day. I’ve always known I took advantage. He loved you so much. He loved you like I wanted to be loved. He tried hard to find you afterward and explain. It matters that you know that.”
Somewhere inside, Cassie felt a small sense of relief. She believed Sam hadn’t intentionally hurt her, and she knew he’d tried to tell her who Heather was.
But he wouldn’t have married Heather if there hadn’t been a spark there. He might not have initiated the kiss, but he’d responded. He might not want to admit it to himself, but Cassie remembered it all too clearly.
And it wasn’t that she couldn’t forgive young, hurting, immature twenty-year-old Sam. She understood her part in their breakup, and she was ashamed of her obliviousness and blind devotion to her mom at the expense of others.
But being blindsided by the people she’d trusted most . . . it was so much easier to be alone. To keep a safe distance.
Cassie sighed and looked up at Heather. “I believe you, but it’s not about Sam anymore. Or you. Or even my parents. It’s about me. I feel things too deeply. I don’t know how to step back. I lose myself.” The past few days she’d been drowning. If she’d kept her distance from her parents from the start, if she’d taken a step back from Open Town and not gone on stage. . . . “Some people can be toxic to others, sometimes through no fault of their own. It’s easier to set boundaries with those people from the start. I need to do that.”
Heather smiled a sad smile. “Believe it or not, I know how you feel. I lost myself, too. Sometimes it feels like I’m still out there trying to find myself.” She rolled her eyes at herself, and as much as Cassie wanted to dislike her, she couldn’t. She found herself understanding Heather, of all people. “But if there’s one thing I know it’s that Sam would never want you to get lost over him. Think about that.”
Jessica squeezed Cassie’s arm then. “Thanks for opening the door and not kicking me out or firing me,” she joked. “I know you want some alone time. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
But Cassie was suddenly aware that alone was the last thing she wanted to be.
An hour later, they were watching
Women Who Go Off the Rails
while eating pizza and spilling their guts. It was a pity party for three. A widow, a divorcée, and a confirmed bachelorette.
“So, how did you and Sam end up together?” Cassie asked when she’d gathered enough courage. She didn’t look at Heather when she asked and she kept her tone as nonchalant as possible.
Heather patted her knee, as if she understood. “Well, I went to Sam’s a few days after the kiss to tell him how sorry I was and to offer to talk to you and explain. He took me up on it—he was that desperate—but he couldn’t find you. He went to DC and tried to talk to your parents, and he called all your friends, but no one was talking. Where were you, by the way?”
“An aunt’s house in Toledo. I told myself I was regrouping.”
“Anyway, he never looked for me or called me, but I felt so bad about it all that I’d force myself to call and follow-up once in a while. Eventually, he began giving me updates. I think it was because everyone was on his case about what happened to you but we were the only ones who really knew, and I’d try to help him decide what to try next. I pulled away from my friends because my ex and my best friend and I all ran with the same group and it was too painful and humiliating to be around them. I ended up getting to know and love Sam as a friend. Then I met Johnny and Dan. Dan was in his last year of college and Johnny was in his first. Before I knew it, we were all hanging out. The year after, everyone was dating and starting relationships or breaking up, and Sam and I wanted none of that. We figured out we felt safe together, safer than anyone else would feel because we weren’t in love. It felt right at the time.”
Jessica tilted her head. “I know couples like that. Who have always seemed more like a couple of friends than a friendly couple. I always wonder if it’s enough.”
They became quiet and thoughtful for a while. Until the narrator on TV began describing a woman who’d had enough of her passionless marriage and decided to hire a hit man.
“Apparently not for some. I love this show. It makes me feel completely normal,” Jessica said.
When they’d had their fill of pizza, drama, and gore, Jessica and Heather took their leave. “I almost forgot, Holly told me to tell you she really wants to see you at her engagement party next Saturday,” Heather said at the door.
“Holly knew you were coming here?” Cassie asked.
“I had a talk with Dan, Johnny, and Holly. I knew Sam wouldn’t explain things to them, and I could tell they were worried.”
Cassie covered her face. “Oh God, I handled that so badly. Everyone was staring.”
Heather pulled her hands down off her face. “We kept moving and it was over quickly. I think most people wondered if they’d imagined it. Only those who know us all well weren’t fooled.”
Cassie pulled her shoulders back. “Tell her I’ll be there. Me and plus one.”
“Plus one?” Jessica asked.
“Ralph. He sees me like an older sister and we get along great. I think he’ll say yes.”
“Great!” Heather smiled, and Cassie thought she saw her and Jessica exchange a quick look. She narrowed her eyes and studied them a moment, but they both only looked genuinely happy she’d be there.
Chapter 17
S
am looked in the mirror, surprised at how good he looked in the powder blue tux. For the first time, he understood what had happened to men in the late seventies and early eighties. They’d realized that a fitted top and bell-bottoms somehow combined to highlight their assets. Wide shoulders. Trim waist. Slim hips.
He looked both ridiculous and hot at the same time. He could live with that. Cassie was going to be there and even if she no longer wanted anything personal to do with him, he hoped she’d appreciate both.
He hadn’t seen her in over a week, and he wasn’t about to give up on her, but he didn’t know what to do.
He grabbed his keys and headed out to the party.
On his way in through the back door, he caught himself strutting. It was almost impossible not to. He looked down at the tux. There really was something about it.
He glanced at his watch. He was right on time. Dan had asked him and Johnny to enter from opposite sides of the main banquet hall. Sam would enter from the back door and Johnny from the front. When they had everyone’s attention, they’d take a bow, walk up the stage, and begin the duet they’d rehearsed.
Calling attention to himself wasn’t his thing, but the idea of making their friends laugh and giving Holly a fun memory for the night was more than enough to compensate.
The clock turned eight and Sam strutted in, looking at the other door, waiting for Johnny to come out.
Only there was no Johnny. Sam looked around. People were staring. He scanned the crowd just as people began to laugh, and then he caught sight of a gasping Holly and his two doubled-over brothers.
It had all been a prank. A good one. Sam covered his face and started to laugh, too.
How could he have been so stupid as to fall for it? He knew he’d owed them for the
Beauty and the Beast
tickets and the fake birthday announcement and he’d been on the lookout for it, but Dan had been so damn sincere about wanting to surprise Holly.
Sam walked over to his brothers, unable to keep from strutting completely himself.
“I’ll get you and I’ll get you good,” he told them, but they were too busy wiping their eyes to care.
“How’d they get you to do it?” Holly asked, her eyes bright, her lips tamped down from trying not to laugh in his face.
“They used you, that’s how. They convinced me Johnny and I were doing a duet of one of your favorite songs.”
Leo hit a button on his phone. “I recorded the whole thing, but my hand was shaking I was laughing so much. Wait till you see it. You were all attitude when you walked in and then when it dawns on you . . . your face, it’s hilarious.”
“Daddy, why are you wearing that?” Jake ran up to him. He lowered his voice the moment he reached him. “You’re embarrassing me,” he said, nodding his head toward Gracie, Ella, and two other boys.
Sam ruffled his hair. “Your uncles played a joke on me. But I’ll go change. My real suit is in the truck.”
Jake’s eyes widened and he covered his mouth. “They got you good. You do look funny.”
Sam looked at Johnny and Dan. “I’ll go change, but just you wait. You won’t see it coming, either.”
Dan looped an arm around both Johnny’s and Sam’s shoulders and led them away. “You can’t change. It’s all part of the bigger plan.”
“What plan?” Sam asked, wary.
“The plan to help you get the girl.”
Cassie had been nervous to see Sam for the first time in over a week, but the moment he walked in, any negative feelings disappeared. He looked ridiculous. And hot.
He’d strutted out, as if he were Travolta on the streets of New York, had taken one look around, and the look on his face and the sight of his brothers doubled over had told everyone everything they needed to know.
Cassie laughed so hard she’d almost spilled red wine on her sparkly blue cocktail dress, but Jessica had righted the goblet just in time.
“What happened?” Rick Springfield, Jessica’s plus one, asked.
“They’re brothers and they’ve been trying to outdo each other in pranks since as far back as I can remember.”
“How’d they get him to dress up like that, though?” Ralph asked.
“We shamelessly played on his feelings.” Johnny suddenly appeared behind them. “Sam’s always had his own way of telling people how he feels, right, Cassie?”
Cassie’s smile disappeared. “I wouldn’t know,” she said, clearing her throat and forcing a neutral tone.
“And where did Sam go?” Jessica asked, her voice too high and too fake. Cassie turned to look at her.
“Well, he’s dressed for the seventies, so we gave him the keys to a seventy four Mustang to complete the look.”
Cassie looked sharply up at him before shooting up out of her chair. “What, my car? What are you up to?”
“Look out front.”
Cassie walked out the front door as fast as her teetering heels would allow. Sam was right out front, in the round driveway, sitting in the front seat of her car, still wearing his ridiculous suit. The moment he saw her, he winked his sleazy seventies wink and peeled rubber before she could get a word out.
Cassie turned on her heel to look for Johnny and Dan, to give them a long and loud piece of her mind and to demand they tell her where her car was, but Heather and Holly blocked her way. “If you ever want to see your car again, you need to follow the instructions in this note,” Heather said, trying not to giggle.
Cassie closed her eyes and breathed in and out five times. “You’re holding my car hostage?”
“Just read the note.” With effort, Holly slipped the note and the emerald-green, tree-shaped
wood-sprite
key into Cassie’s fisted hand. “You may think you’re protecting yourself, but you’re not. You’re hurting your happiness. Trust me.”
Meddling, nosy people were the worst. Jaw clenched, Cassie opened the note.
The key is in your key. Use it and remember what I told you. Love, Sherry
.
Cassie shook her head. Even Sherry was in on it.
Johnny drove up in Sam’s pickup, hopped down, and handed her the keys. Cassie gave him the evil eye and got into the truck. Their childish pranks were making her miss the party.
She gathered Sherry was talking about the wood sprite key and that her car was at Grandma Maddie’s, where Sam was waiting, going all out to try and get them to talk.
Well, she’d talk, all right. She put the car into gear and peeled out, going over everything she wanted to say.
“Go find the ending to your day,” Holly yelled after her.
Cassie pulled into her grandmother’s driveway a minute later, climbed down, slammed the door, and walked up the path yelling, “Sam Amador, you get out here and give me the keys to my car this minute. Grand theft auto is a serious federal offense, and no judge is going to want to hear how you’re only trying to get your ex-girlfriend to listen to you explain how you didn’t enjoy tongue-wrestling with another woman when you ended up
marrying
the other woman!”
Sam opened the door in his ridiculously hot suit. “If you’d put a lid on your temper long enough to listen—”
“I don’t care. I’m over it. I just want my keys.”
“Then come and get them.” He slammed the door and Cassie heard it lock.
“Ugh!” She dug out the green and gold wood sprite key Holly had forced on her. When she took another angry step, the condition of the house hit her for the first time. She stopped short.
The outside of the cottage was completely repaired. The limestone, stucco, and vertical trim looked like new. Cassie stepped back. It was back to its enchanting self.
She walked up the newly paved steps, slid the key into the lock, stepped in, covered her mouth, and gasped.
It was beautiful.
It was everything she could’ve wanted, but wouldn’t have known how to bring to life. The quarter-sawn hardwood floors and trim had been refinished and stained a medium java tone. The interior walls were painted a light taupe, and there was a brand-new closet. Cassie continued to walk in, her mouth still covered, taking in the colorful Craftsman light features that made the foyer pop.
When she stepped into the main living and kitchen area, she dropped her hand from her mouth. The kitchen cabinets were blue. A calming, peaceful, charming cottage blue. Never had she seen a lovelier kitchen. The long breakfast counter looked out onto the yard and trees. The backsplash he’d shown her tied the quartz countertops, stone fireplace, and blue cabinets together. Cassie sat at the breakfast counter and looked down at the stream, remembering Sherry’s words.
He has a lot to say, but he says it in his own way
.
“A space that hides your clutter, forgives your clumsiness, and welcomes you home in peaceful shades of blue,” Sam said, coming up behind her. He swiveled her around in her stool to face him. “Ralph is listing it. If you buy it, it’ll take you right to the top. It’ll be the house that makes you number one.”
Cassie was speechless as she looked around, remembering how she’d thought she had it all figured out that first day and how sorry she’d been for the broken down house. It had taken time and the care of those who loved her to see she’d been just as broken in places.
And now here was the old house, the same but renewed, with bones strong as ever but needing someone to appreciate it so it didn’t fall into neglect again.
The sale of the cottage would also help steady Sam’s business, even though she knew that wasn’t why he’d done it. If he’d been thinking about it, he wouldn’t have risked painting the cabinets blue.
What he’d done with the small yard outside was also a risky move. It was now an informal garden with stone paths winding through tons of wild flowers leading to the park. She loved it.
A dug up area caught her eye and a long ago memory snapped to the forefront of her mind. “That’s where those time capsules were buried!” she exclaimed, and rushed out.
“I’d forgotten all about them until we dug them up,” he said, walking out the door after her.
“How old were we when we found them; five, six?” she asked, as she kneeled down and pulled out a rotting wooden box. “I don’t even remember what we found.” She opened the lid of the first box and found a few wooden airplane toys. A note included in the box read “
When I grow up I will be a daring pilot
,” and was signed in clumsy block letters by a Milton Clarke.
“We had Holly look him up. Turns out his dad was part of the exhibition team The Wright Flyers. Milton ended up becoming a stunt flyer, too. There were lots of articles on him.”
Cassie pulled out the box that looked like a treasure chest next. “If I remember correctly, this one belonged to my dad. I think I remember Grandma telling me he put it in with Milton’s after their dog dug it up.” She lifted the latch and closed her eyes when she saw what was inside it. Unable to help herself, she began to laugh. The chest held a few pictures of great men who hailed from Dayton, like Wilbur and Orville Wright and industrialist John Patterson, and tons of pictures of her dad, who looked to be about ten years old. No notes, no toys, just pictures of him in different poses. She opened her eyes and looked up to see Sam’s eyes twinkling down at her. Shaking her head, she studied each picture, feeling a strange peace wash over her. Max McGillicuddy was who he was.
Cassie thought about her mom and wondered what little Sandy Morgan might’ve put into a time capsule. It occurred to her that her mother had probably never figured out who she really was. Maybe much of the bitterness Sandy felt toward her husband and the disappointment she directed at Cassie were ways of deflecting how she really felt about herself. It was something to think about. Maybe Sandy would figure out who she was in the next couple of years, despite her crazy plans to get back on the national stage.
The last time capsule was simply a plastic container with a blue lid. Cassie remembered it because they’d had a hard time sneaking it out of the kitchen without her grandmother noticing. She popped the lid, having no memory of what they’d placed in it.
Inside were two toys, two notes, and one picture. The moment came back to her in a flash. They’d decided to copy the other two capsules because they couldn’t agree on what they should put inside their own.
The picture was a faded snap of her and the Amador boys, playing on the infamous oak tree in the park. Johnny was hanging upside down, even though he must’ve only been about three or four when the picture was taken. Dan was doing a chin-up on the branch next to Johnny. Looking back, she guessed he’d really been watching over Johnny. Sam was in a midair jump and Cassie was pretending she was going to catch him.
She looked over at him. “
You
were doing the jumping and
I
was doing the catching?”
Sam smiled into her eyes. “We used to take turns, remember?”
Cassie looked down, unable to hold his gaze. He was right. They used to take turns. Next she took out the toys. Sam had put in Legos and Cassie had put in a rope. “The Legos make sense, but a rope?” She laughed.
He laughed too. “I have no idea.”
She looked back down and took Sam’s note out first. In writing even clumsier than Milton’s, it said, “
When I grow up I’ll be a hero. Dan and Johnny will be my sidekicks.
”
Her eyes met Sam’s, surprised. “Small-town hero. See?”
“Just don’t tell Dan and Johnny they’re my sidekicks,” he said, amused.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
Sam nudged the second note toward her. Cassie opened it and read aloud. “When I grow up I will play with fire because no one lets me now.” They laughed long and hard.
In silent agreement, they began putting everything back and burying it all up again for the next little boy or girl to find.
When they were done, Cassie looked back at the house and exclaimed, “You put windows that look out onto the park in the upstairs bedrooms!”