Netherstream - Episode 1: Jane Doe (4 page)

Read Netherstream - Episode 1: Jane Doe Online

Authors: S.E. Gordon

Tags: #humor, #horror, #zombie, #adventure, #Zombies, #action, #walking dead, #comedy

BOOK: Netherstream - Episode 1: Jane Doe
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“This is my hotel,” I said.

“Not anymore.”

“Careful, I go from zero to bitch in a nanosecond.”

The unlikely threat brought a smile to his grizzly face. “Don’t worry, we only intend to stay a short while. Perhaps you could extend a little hospitality while I’m here?” He grazed my hand with his.

“Not in a million years, pops. Besides, we’re fresh out of Viagra.”

The old man slapped me across the face, knocking me off the bed. “So all of this a game to you, is it? Where did you get the receiver?” He pulled my fiery hair.

“I told you. A man named Ryan gave it to me.”

“Liar.” He unholstered his Beretta, and pressed it against my temple.

“I’m telling the truth.”

“Are you?” Leon had second thoughts about pulling the trigger.

I could smell the cowardice in him. He was mine…

“So tell me about this Ryan.”

“He was just some guy who stayed at the hotel. Said he was a marine,” I replied.

“Bullshit!” He pressed the gun harder.

“He gave it to me before he passed away. That’s all I know.” I raised my hands.

A solider stepped over and whispered in his ear. He nodded, and slowly removed the gun. “The men that ambushed my brigade used these. They can pick up any signal, encrypted or unencrypted, and can even adapt to new schemas.” He considered the slender, black box. “What are you doing here?”

“I work here.”

“That’s it? How did you survive all this time without a mask?”

“It appears that I have a natural immunity.” I showed him my arms. “The zombies failed to convert me, but it wasn’t due to a lack of effort. I’m just trying to make the best of an impossible situation, pops.”

“We all are.” He loosened his grip on the gun. “And this Ryan, did he teach you to shoot?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I need a sharpshooter, especially one that might hold the key to our survival.”

“But I’m just a bellhop, sir.”

“And I was a used car salesman before all of this. Who cares? It doesn’t matter who we were, but what we’ve become. Besides, you killed three of my men. I can’t just let you walk away from this.”

“Sure you can,” I quipped.

“Perhaps if you blew them, they might find it in their heart to forgive you,” Leon chuckled.

“They’re already having such a grand time blowing each other, it doesn’t look like they need any help from me.” I grabbed the cigarette off the floor and put it in my mouth.

“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?” He cracked a smile.

“Please, no more compliments.” I pulled out a lighter and lit the cigarette. “The truth is I’m glad to have you in my hotel, general. Enjoy the ambience.”

“Well, I’m afraid it doesn’t have the ambience that it once had.”

“What do you mean?”

“We took out a few walkers wandering around the hotel, including a family that was cannibalizing each other in the restaurant. What’s the story behind that?” said Leon.

My heart sank. I could barely utter another word. “I believe they were looking for ice cream.”

“You cannot afford to be soft when it comes to children.” The general scolded me with his steel eyes. “That’s how the outbreak accelerated. All those worried parents, desperate to find a cure, and infecting everyone in their path. Child zombies are too quick, even for an adult. They can infect thousands. They’re the first ones you should put a bullet in.”

I took a drag of my cigarette and watched his mouth move, but the words did not register. The likelihood of Marge’s demise pierced me deeply. No doubt they’d put her down. Still, I could use the situation to our advantage if she were alive. “So how did you find them? Did you check the security cameras?”

General Vax and the guard exchanged looks, but neither responded.

I leaned forward. “You have been to security, haven’t you?”

“No, actually. I’ve been meaning to ask you where it’s located.”

“Follow me.” I stood and stamped out my cigarette.

The guards were on me in a blink, hitting me with their guns and forcing me to my knees.

“You’re not scared of a little girl, are you general?” I gazed up at him.

“Just crazy bitches that like to play Barbies with zombies,” he replied.

“It’s a shame I have to replace the ones that you put down, but it looks like you brought me some healthy candidates.” I counted a dozen in the hallway including the general.

“Perhaps I’ll volunteer a few,” he laughed. Leon took my hand and helped me to my feet. “Don’t do anything foolish or it will be the last thing you do.” He got so close I thought he was going to kiss me. “And just so you don’t try to escape-” He stabbed me in the knee with my own blade.

Riggs, get a band-aid.” Leon retracted the blade, and wiped it with his handkerchief.

“Thanks, but there’s a first aid kit in security.” I pressed my hand against the open wound. “It’s also where I keep the meds.”

“Good, because I’m getting a headache.” He ran his scarred fingers through his salt and pepper stubble. “Ladies first.” He gestured.

♦ ♦ ♦

“How many more of you are there? Any jealous boyfriends likely to return?” General Vax and two guards escorted me down the hall.

“I think I did a good job of driving them all away.” I hobbled down the hallway with the aid of one of his men. I looked ahead to the security office, the metal shield pulled down over the service window in case of a breach. As we neared the door, I listened for some activity, anything at all, but the entire wing was quiet.

“There. That’s it.” I pointed.

“This? I thought it was a snack bar,” said Leon.

What a fucking idiot. “A snack bar? Near the employee entrance?”

“Sure, why not?” He shrugged.

What was he the general of? Fraggle-fucking-Rock? I couldn’t wait to open the door and sick Marge on him. She’d chomp off his pecker like a Twinkie. He was King Stupid and his band of merry men, gleefully jumping off the cliff for their brazen master.

I limped forward before Leon stopped me. “What’s the pin?” He glanced at the keypad.

“Here, let me do it. The sensors take into account your biometric data,” I replied.

“Really? I don’t see any sensors.” He looked back at the door.

What a gullible halfwit! For a moment I doubted his story about being a used car salesman. Most likely he was a half-mast, coked-up porn star who relied on food stamps to purchase his monthly supply of Top Ramen.

“I’m not fucking with you. Try it yourself. 5-5-4-1-2.” I leaned against my escort. “And push hard once the door unlocks; otherwise, it will reset itself before you are able to push it all the way open.”

“All right.” He nodded, not entirely sure of what I had just said.

“Are you sure that you don’t want me to do it?”

He pulled out his gun and cocked it. “I think I’ve got this covered.”

I held my breath as he pecked at the keypad and turned the knob. Christ, he was worse than Marge. It was only five fucking numbers and the turn of the knob. How could he screw it up? For a moment I stopped worrying about her and wondered if I might die here waiting for the numbskull to unlock the door.

Predictably, he continued to struggle. “See? I told you. Now let me do it.” I took out a fresh cigarette and readied my diversion.

“Perhaps it would work if you gave me the right fucking combination!” The general shook the door.

“I gave you the right combination, 5-5-4-1-2.” I pushed imaginary buttons in the air with my cigarette. “Are you reading the keypad? The numbers move around after every attempt.”

Leon slammed his fist and kicked the door. “The truth is I’m slightly dyslexic.”

Oh, I’d say a lot dyslexic. And psychotic. And mentally retarded.

He tried one last time before finally giving up.

“Gentle. With a ladies’ touch.” I softened the hard edge to my voice.

The general nodded and allowed me to the door. While I tapped in the code, the two guards pointed their M16s in my face. Suddenly the lock released. I turned the knob and jerked the door open, hoping to stir the zombie on the other side.

“Thank you. Now step aside,” said the general.

“My pleasure.” I threw the door wide.

The office was empty, with nothing to suggest that a zombie had fumbled around there.

“Excellent.” Leon stepped inside, and sat in the black chair.

I crossed my arms and leaned against the doorframe while the general’s two thugs continued fixing their guns on me.

“It looks like we have a visitor on the eighth floor. Have Washburn take him out,” said Leon.

“Roger that.” One of the guards lowered his gun and spoke into his headset.

I glanced at the screen but didn’t recognize the zombie. The hotel had sprung a leak, and it needed to be plugged as soon as possible. But where the hell was Marge? There were eyes on the hotel and boots on the ground. I didn’t want her to be caught in the crossfire. Ugh! I needed a cigarette bad…

I stood by the door, and watched Mr. Potato Head fumble with the equipment. Even he couldn’t fuck it up, and after several minutes, he started getting the hang of it. I looked around, wondering if he had cheated and there was a Dummies book lying around here somewhere.

“That’s a nasty habit, you know that?” Leon took exception to the smoke I was blowing into the office. He swiveled around on the padded chair, and snatched the cigarette from my lips. “This tastes like shit.” He coughed a mouthful back out. “Is this the best you could find in this hotel?”

“I have a thing for bad cigarettes…and men.” I locked eyes with him.

“Well, it’s time to set you straight. You have a gift shop, don’t you?” Leon got up.

“It isn’t open.” I shook my head.

“Then when will it open?”

“It’s a seasonal thing.” I held out my hand, preferring the cancer stick to the talking dildo in front of me.

Leon grabbed my hair, and slammed me against the wall. “You will learn to respect me!” he screamed.

“Of course, general,” I replied.

♦ ♦ ♦

General Vax dragged me down the hallway, throwing me face first through a pair of double doors. He picked me up and hauled me through the lounge while his men slammed down shots and polished their guns. I peered up at the skylight, and caught a glimpse of the returning helicopter. Even now, I could not hear its blades as it descended upon us. Sooner or later, I’d have to get one of my own. Some toys were worth the trouble.

We passed by the Diamond Café, which was completely still for the first time that I could remember. The corpses had not been removed, curled up on the floor as if sleeping.
Mommy will be back for you, promise.

“Let’s do this nice and easy.” Leon pushed me into the thick, glass doors of the gift shop. “Do you have a key?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Give it to me.”

“It’s in Engineering.”

“That’s a shame. I guess we’ll have to improvise.” Leon grabbed me and tossed me through the window. The pane was weaker than the rest, the result of the last incursion that nearly destroyed the entire hotel. It had taken weeks to find a suitable replacement. Barely two months later, I found myself flying through the same damn window again. This shit was getting old.

Leon followed me into the gift shop, and cut is hand on a jagged tooth of glass. “Damn it!” He pulled out his handkerchief and wrapped it around his palm. He circled around, unlocked the doors, and let the two guards in. Soldiers were assembling outside the gift shop, laughing and drinking from bottles while keeping a healthy distance from the general.

The stockpile of premium cigarettes and chewing tobacco tempered the general’s foul mood. There were at least a hundred different brands, each shelf filled to the brim. I hadn’t touched a single pack since taking up residence here, preferring to use up the employee stash first before delving into the good stuff.

“Holy shit, Djarum Blacks. How did you manage that?” He plucked a black package off the shelf. Surprised that he had found his favorite pack of clove cigarettes, he forgot all about his throbbing hand and that he’d taken his eyes off me.

Leon opened the pack, and put one in his mouth. He grabbed a book of matches from the counter, lit himself up, took one long, sinful drag, and exhaled. “Now that’s a fucking cigarette!”

Suddenly the fire alarm went off. Before he knew it, ice cold water poured down from the sprinklers above. The guards accidentally fired into the ceiling, sending their comrades into hysterics.

Leave it to the general to light up directly under a smoke detector and thumb his nose at the consequences. What a total fucking moron! Brute force defined these dickheads, just like the ones who visited me two months ago. If I had my way, they’d be lining my flowerpots by morning.

Leon hugged the cigarette case as the sprinklers showered the entire store. Abruptly they cut off, leaving the three men in a shallow puddle of water. Although most of the merchandise was waterlogged, the cigarettes had been spared. “Thank heavens!” He peered down at the untainted stacks of Djarum Blacks.

The general tried to laugh it off. He’d found his prize possession; today was a good day. “I have to hand it to you, you’ve kept this hotel in tiptop shape. The beds are made, the lobby is clean…hell, it even looks like a five-star hotel.” He wiped the water from his face. “We’ve been watching you for the past week, and finally slipped inside a few days ago. This is perfect for command and control, even better than we’d hoped for. You have all the amenities and none of the problems of the outside world.

“I’ve seen your storerooms and they’re fully stocked. How do you resupply yourself? Either you’ve raided every hotel within a mile of here or someone else is helping you out. So which is it, Jane? Uh…Jane?” Leon finally took notice of my absence. “Jane!” He pulled out his gun and fired.

Chapter 4: Venture

“Find her!” Leon barked at his men. “She’s still here, right under our nose.”

Though the alcohol still flowed freely, the soldiers’ laughs and taunts came to an abrupt stop. The general was pissed, and if they didn’t locate me soon, there would be hell to pay.

I could hear the men pass by, checking every inch of the gift shop. Although wet, the store was clean, and it wasn’t obvious where I’d wandered off to. Leon’s men double-checked the windows, but only one had been smashed through. It was as if I had disappeared.

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