Never A Choice (The Choices Trilogy (Book 1)) (34 page)

We travel down in two cars, I’m with Daniel and Sofia is with Paul, her parents and Marco. Other than a few residents and carers, the room at the crematorium is sparse and soulless. We file slowly into the room where a brief service will be given. I am grateful from the warmth I feel from both Daniel and Marco’s hands which hold mine but it is painfully insufficient when I chill to the bone at the image in the front row. Iron straight bright blond hair falls down from a ridiculously ostentatious hat, given the surroundings. Immaculate, in a black Prada dress and jacket, she turns dry eyed with a pseudo sad face and I stand transfixed. Daniel places his other hand on my arm to urge me forward, thinking I am over whelmed by the proceedings.

“What the fuck is she doing here?” Sofia hisses in my ear, but I’m too shocked to answer, I have no idea, how did she even know?

Daniel seems equally surprised by the tone of his voice.“What is Kassandra doing here, do you know her Bethany?” His confusion evident on his crinkled brow. “Why would she come?”

“I have no idea why she’s here, but I do know her.” Daniel waits for me to continue but my head is spinning. What could she possibly want, why now? I feel sick that she would make today about her.

“Bethany?” He is trying to get me to answer, but even the term identifying her relationship to me is alien.

“That’s her sister.” Sofia enlightens him with borrowed venom. I look at my best friend who’s ready to do battle on my behalf, but I shake my head slightly. This isn’t going to happen today and I walk and take my seat on the row opposite, surrounded by the best people in the world. I am numb to the words the priest is saying, he does his job well I’m sure, but my mum never went to church and he wouldn’t have known her. So the sad words of comfort are just sad words. When the service is over, I choose to head back to the car I don’t need to see arrangements of flowers that will never be enjoyed by my mum. Beautiful flowers that will fade more quickly because of their presence today. We are all heading back to the home for tea and I just want to be alone, in Daniels car.

“Bethany, is that really you?” I hear her voice, sweet and sad, with a slight wobble in the pronunciation of my name, practised and perfect.

“Kit.” I reply, my cold response glaringly obvious, she narrows her eyes. I think she must be taking a risk exposing herself today and she is hesitant. I wonder how much she is willing to risk exactly.

“I’m sorry, Kit? That was my name Kit?” She looks puzzled then a saccharine smile spreads her bright red lips wide. “Oh!” She laughs a little at the revelation. I am definitely going to be sick. Daniel comes to my side and puts his strong arms tight around my shoulder.

“Yes, your name
was
Kithara Thorne, Mum said it was the musical instrument Apollo played, it’s Greek.” I have no idea what I’m saying, it’s not like she doesn’t know this already. “I had trouble saying my ‘th’s’ so you were Kit to me, then everyone else.”

“Oh how darling, my name was changed because
you
couldn’t say it.” Her words are light but I sense the bitter tone.

“Isn’t this wonderful Bethany? I know it’s a terribly sad day, but I can’t believe this, look you still have family, you’re not alone after all.” He cups my face and my eyes spring with tears. I am so alone if
she
is the only family I have left. “I can’t believe it.” He looks to Kit and her eyes sparkle and she looks back through her thickly painted lashes, “Kassandra would you like to ride with us? I can’t imagine how much you two have to catch up on. This is just amazing!” He seems genuinely happy for me and I’m just going to come across as a huge bitch for not giving my ‘amnesia challenged sister” a chance to build bridges. There is also the fact that I don’t know what she wants. It’s obviously not me, she doesn’t need to pretend to be Kassandra to have me in her life.

“Oh Daniel darling that’s so sweet, but I have my driver.” She looks over to a Range Rover with a hulk of an ape standing by the front door. Hair cropped so short, he looks bald, no neck to speak of and scary huge muscles fighting to escape his pale, ill fitted grey suit. She walks over with an exaggerated sway in her hips and grabs Daniels’ arms, squeezing them in a slow massage of his muscle. “I am just so happy to remember.” A small tear trickles down her cheek for effect. She turns to me, my teeth are so clenched I think the enamel may crack. “Bethany . . . Boo.” I swallow my cry as she infects my nick name with her vile voice. “I forgive you, I forgive you for giving up ever finding me.” My fists curls and my nails bite my skin. She leans in but must notice my eyes because she hovers mid-air for a cheek kiss. She leans closer and with more success kisses Daniel’s cheek, before she turns to leave. Daniel opens my door and I slide in, I’m looking down on myself because that was definitely an out of body experience. I don’t know how to react, because I don’t know what she wants but as I look at my reflection in the windscreen and then across at the handsome, kind and brilliant man beside me I start to laugh. Not so much that I need sedating but enough to cause a look of concern on his beautiful face.

“Hey baby.” He squeezes my leg and sends a rush of shivers over my skin. “Why didn’t you speak at the ceremony, I thought you wanted to say a few words?” His deep voice is laced with worry.

“I did, but then it didn’t feel right sharing. I think what I wanted to say I had said already.” I don’t want him to think I will have regrets about today. I am sure I will have regrets about today but I am yet to know what they will be.

“You have a sister then? When did she go missing?” He sounds hesitant and I know it’s because he is waiting for me to share.

“When I was seventeen.” I don’t want to share, not until I know what she wants.

“Was it easier to pretend you didn’t have a sister than accept what might’ve happened. I just don’t understand why you would say you didn’t have one; why you would stop looking for her?” He can’t hide how disturbed he is. How did I know I would end up the bad guy in this scenario? I can’t bear the thought of him looking at me like I would be capable of walking away like that and I can’t bear the look of pity he would have if I told him the truth. I sniff and shudder a little, I can feel her effects working in me and the distance in the car that wasn’t there on the journey here. “I’m sorry baby, you know what, it doesn’t matter, nothing in the past matters. All that matters is she’s found you and you’re not alone, I won’t like sharing you but it’s important to have family.”

“I have a family.” I whisper to myself, a sadness overwhelming me once more.

“She didn’t ask for your number, how is she going to contact you?” He muses but I know why.

“She has yours I take it?” His face impassive at my query.

“Yes, and I will give her yours.” He reassures me with a sweet smile.

I leave it at that. I have a library full of snide comments which will do nothing other than paint me as a bitter bitch and further widen this unstoppable distance.

The day room is bright and I have been hugged and squeezed by the people I love and I am thankful Kit didn’t follow us here. Sofia takes me to one side. “What the fuck does she want now? A little late to be claiming the dutiful sister and doting daughter role. God I’m so mad. I wanted to punch the botox right out of her wrinkles.” I can’t quite manage to snicker. “Dad was really mad too. You know I had to hold him back, told him you’d be devastated if he caused a scene.” I can feel her rage because it almost mirrors mine, almost.

“Thank you honey, I would’ve been mortified. I am pissed she’s made today about her. Her and her
happy
reunion.” I put my fingers to my temples and try to massage the pressure away.

“Do you know what she wants?” Her brow furrows but I quickly ease her contemplation.

“I wish I didn’t.” I look across the room to the most amazing man on the planet, smile at the reaction he incites in my body with his presence. “But I’ve got a pretty good idea.” I raise my eyebrows in Daniels direction. “She won him in the Batchelor Charity Auction. I saw her that night, he was her date. She must have seen me that night or more importantly seen me with Daniel.”

“But she can’t have him, he’s with you!” Sofia is righteously indignant.

“Not his type either, but that won’t stop her. Besides Daniel thinks she’s tragically sad and that I’m a bitch for giving up looking for her and pretending she didn’t exist.” I raise my own brow at the irony.

“He did not just say that!” She gasps in shock.

“Not in so many words, but it was there in his eyes. I’m not going to humiliate myself clinging to a sinking ship Sofs. But I need to know what she has to support her story before I can say anything. The only person that could verify my life just died. I know what she wants but I need to know what she is prepared to do to get it. I am still dealing with the ‘Krazy-Kit’ I know; not the sad widow Kassandra that has Daniel in her well-manicured claw.”

I sink back into the deep jasmine scented bubble bath, the hot water engulfing me to my neck. I hold my breath and sink below the surface, allowing my body to float and bob. I slowly release my breath in tiny flowing bubbles which escape the tiniest gap in my lips, trying to remain under the surface as long as my lungs will allow. It’s strangely relaxing hovering on the brink of desperation for air. I start to feel the burn and I try to find my footing on the slippery bath bed when I am yanked with brutal force, lifting me clear of the water and hard against Daniels chest.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He shouts as I squeeze the bath water from my eyes and take in some deeper breaths. His clothes are drenched by me and he is still holding me naked in his arms. My covering of soapy bubbles sliding gracefully down my slippery wet body.

“Having a bath?” He has a look of utter relief and I have no idea why. “Sorry I didn’t realise I needed permission. Wait! What did you think I was doing?” He places me on my feet and sweeps my wet hair from my face. His lips cover mine with a desperate hunger, his tongue frantic to taste me, he moans into my open mouth as I willing accept his demanding possession of my mouth. He pulls back and sighs heavily. I shiver from my rapid removal from my lovely bath and he holds me again but his clothes are soaked and cold so my body continues to shake. “Can I get back in? I’m shivering if you hadn’t noticed?”

“I thought it was me that made you tremble?” His voice is soft.

“Oh you do Mr Stone.” I reach up on my tip toe and slowly lick the tip of my tongue along his lips. “You make me tremble, you make me moan and you make me scream but best of all you make me come.” My voice is breathy with desire but I pull back, “and in this instance you make me shiver?” I turn to step back in the bath and he slaps my butt, the sound and sting louder because my skin is wet. “Ow! Planning on joining me or are you just going to taunt me with that all night?” I am staring unashamedly at the large bulge in his now damp trousers. My smile a wicked invitation.

“I thought we should talk.” He begins to remove his wet clothes and my grin widens, God I hope he means talk, after. His skin shimmers from the moisture soaked through from his clothes and it only enhances the definition of the curve of his muscled arms. The flex of his chest as he strips each garment from his body and his lean frame every inch a perfect male. He may want to talk but his cock is most definitely on my side, hard, bobbing under its own weight, thick and heavy. He cups himself and I whimper, he narrows his gaze; looking at me as I’m looking at his tight grip. “Dammit!” He steps forward and abruptly pushes behind me sending the suddenly risen water spilling over the edge and flooding the floor. I push back into him and arch my back as he roughly grabs my breasts, pumping and rolling my hard nipples between his wet finger and thumbs, pulling and pinching. He sinks his teeth into my exposed neck and sucks wildly, biting and bruising the soft tissue. He wraps his arm around my waist and slides his fingers through my slick hot folds and I instantly shiver from toe to tip. My breath rapid and my core on fire, he sinks two fingers inside and curls around inside, rubbing and stroking sweet sensitive spots. My body responds, contracting, twitching and I gasp for more air.

“Fuck baby, I can’t say no to you. I want you all the time, you’re mine. Understand?” His rhetorical question more a guttural plea.

“Yes.” I’m panting and I’ll say anything but like being drunk, I’m still aware I’m saying the words I mean. I just have no reservations about saying them when I’m seconds from a screaming orgasm.

“Mine, you aren’t going anywhere understand? You are mine, say it Bethany!” He growls in my ear and pushes deeper and I fall. My hips are jerking, my head falls against his chest, my skin flushed with prickles. He stills before he slides his fingers out of me and brings them to his lips and sucks and hums his pleasure. I slip around to lie flat on his front, his hard erection sandwiched between our warm wet bodies. I push myself up on to my knees and hover as I take his thick smooth shaft in my tight fist and rub the wide head along my cleft, sinking slightly as he reaches my entrance, I hover again. I need to see his eyes, see his need, his desire.