Never: an erotic retelling of Peter Pan (47 page)

"Are you unsatisfied, my love?" he asked, kissing her again.

She shook her head, whispered, "You have to go."  But he was kissing his way down her neck to her breasts and despite her sadness she felt the tumult stir in her again.  His hair drifted in a soft caress over her chest as his mouth awoke first one nipple, then the other.  "Belle's waiting," she said faintly, but he was kissing down her stomach, parting her legs, and she let herself be distracted, writhing under his knowing tongue. 

His fierce lovemaking had sensitised the delicate flesh and it responded to the slightest pressure with wild pulses of pleasure that filled her mind until she could think of nothing but the coming explosion.

"You
are
my woman," she heard him say as she teetered on the edge.  "There will be no other."

"Yes.  Yes," she panted, her hips unashamedly pushing up for the trigger that would release her orgasm.  "No other. 
Please
." 

He rose above her and through a haze of arousal he appeared as a dark angel, a messenger from her God delivering his ultimate truth.  

She felt a slight pressure as the tip of his penis entered her but his hand, restraining her hips, kept them from pushing up to claim the pleasure she was a breath away from. 

"Tell me you love me," he commanded.  Their eyes, inches apart, were locked.

"I . . . love you," she said.  "From the moment I - "

His lips dived onto hers as he plunged into her and with that first thrust she was there, gasping his breath as the orgasm took her.  But he continued to drive into her, the thrusts that followed setting off aftershocks that fed on each other and he was kissing her and touching her and she was delirious with the sensations that all melded into one like a carnival ride where you're screaming so hard you don't even realise it's over.

But finally she did realise it was over.  She became aware of Long Shadow's body heavy against hers and the sound of their panting.   

She licked her lips and swallowed in a dry throat.  "I don't think there's any question of my satisfaction now," she said.

Long Shadow's reply was to roll off and sit with his back to her. 

She touched it, unable to stop herself, her fingers gliding over the smooth flesh, wanting to taste it but too limp and sated to raise her head.

"I shouldn't have done that," he said.

She knew what he meant, but answered, "I'm glad you did."

"No...  Not that."  He turned to look at her, frowning when he saw her smile.  "You know what I mean.  I had no right to ask for such a declaration.  Not then.  I made it... meaningless."

She shrugged.  "Ask me now."

"You make a game of it."

"I'm serious.  Ask me now."

"If you know your reply - "

"I don't know until you ask me properly," she said, "Now, with no distractions."

He looked at her for a long moment, then glanced away, such confusion in his eyes that Dee wanted to pull him down into her arms and forget everything else.  But this was important to him.  It was important to her too, she realised.

"I don't have the courage," he said finally, and forced his eyes back to hers.  "I can kill a man with my bare hands but I don't have the courage to ask for your love."  He glanced away again.  "I don't even know if I deserve it."

"You deserve it," she said, and pulled him down to her for a deep, sensuous kiss.

By the time they'd finished Dee knew it was only the serious nature of their conversation that kept him from her body.  And even as he broke away it was in a series of smaller, abridges kisses.

"You know the tender of my desires," he said huskily.  "I have spoken to you of my love." 

"Never Land love?" she asked, looking up at him, a sad smile on her lips.  "Magic love?"

He shook his head.  "There is no magic in my love, save that which I feel in your arms.  It is the steadfast love of a man for his woman.  A love that will not die with this body," he said and touched his chest. 

Dee laid her hand over his.  "Then ask me again."

He looked into her eyes.  Seconds ticked over.

"Ask it, my love," she whispered, the endearment falling from her lips so easily she wanted to say it again and again.

"Am I... your love?" he asked, his eyes like those of a small boy not daring to believe his wish could come true.

She nodded, thrilled to be able to give him this gift.  The gift of her love.  A gift she hadn't known she had to give.

"Then will you, Wendee, leave the tribe of Peter and be my woman, to love no other?"  His hand held hers tight against his chest, their fingers entwined.

Her heart willed her to say
yes
- to trust herself to this man whose love for her was strong enough to overcome any obstacles.

But she didn't. 

Her smile faded.  She blinked. 
Love no other
?  Sudden thoughts of Xavion and Christophe, the twins and Skye, even Mack flashed through her mind.  What she'd shared with them was nothing like the bond between Long Shadow and herself, but it had meant something to her once, and might again. 

Long Shadow watched these thoughts flitting across her face and his hand tightened in hers. 

She looked up into his eyes, bewildered by her sudden change of heart.

"You will not give your vow," he said quietly. And after watching her a moment longer, released her hand and stood, turning his back to her. 

Dee struggled to sit up, her lethargic body rebelling against the activity.  "I want to be your woman," she said helplessly.  "I love waking to the touch of your lips against mine, falling asleep with the gentle lull of your voice in my ear.  I've never felt so safe."

"But?"

"But..."  She hung her head.  "I can't...  I don't think I can be..." she searched for a word.

He found it for her.  "Faithful." 

"Yes," she whispered, looking down at her hands, the hands that even now longed to touch his smooth body and bring it alive.  But Long Shadow wasn't like her.  He had honour.  Pride.  Dee felt the chill premonition that their time together was at end.

"There is one thing I would know," he said, and she raised her head, daunted by the stiffness of his back.  "Do you love me?" he asked with quiet dignity.  "Just love.  Not commitment."

"Yes, I do," she said, grateful that he'd given her this opportunity.  "When I'm with you I feel as though a part of me that I didn't realise was empty is suddenly full.  I'm happy... complete.  I've never felt that way with anyone else."

"It's not only... sex?"

"No.  It's love.  I think."  She shook her head, forgetting he couldn't see her.  "I've never been in love, but..." a sudden memory came to her, "...I know I'd willingly die to save your life."

She saw his shoulders stiffen, then he turned slowly to look down at her, his head tilted to the side, his hair falling over his shoulders to caress his chest the way she longed to.  "Is this truth?  You would die - "

"Right now, if I had to."  She forced her wobbling legs to support her as she stood and took his large hands in hers.  Then she ached for the confusion in his eyes.

"But why...?"

"I can't... help the way I am," she said plainly, "but that doesn't mean I can't love you.  I do love you.  Please, don't ask for more than I can give."

He closed his eyes, raised her hands and pressed her fingers to his lips.  Dee looked at his bowed head, wishing there was something she could say to take away the hurt she'd inflicted on him.  But there was nothing.

He kissed her fingers and released them.  Then he untied his beaded wristband and looked down at it.  "My Grandfather, Soaring Eagle, gave this to me when I became a man," he said, one of his large fingers tracing the ancient pattern.

"It's very beautiful," Dee said, admiring the thin multi-coloured strip, imagining an old man giving it to his beloved Grandson.   

"Its beauty comes from the spirit that lives in it.  The spirit of my Grandfather's love and protection."  He looked up into her eyes.  "This, I would give you," he said, and after pressing it to his lips, tied it carefully around her neck, turning the knot to the back.  "I would ask that you accept this gift as a promise of my love.  As I accept your love, without condition."