Never Close Enough (13 page)

   “Well, it sounds like you just need a little confidence.  If you go into it thinking you’re going to fail, then you will.  It’s always a little scary
doing something new and different, but scary can sometimes be exciting if you just change your perspective.”  She blinked at him, a little surprised by the sound and somewhat philosophical advice he offered.

   “You make it sound so easy,” she paused.  “I
guess it is easy. I’m the one making it more difficult and complicated by overthinking it.  I really just need to dive in head first.”

   “Exactly.  You’ve done it once before and you know what you’re doing.  Trust yourself.”  Ella picked up her wine glass
and took another drink, peering at him over the rim.

   “You sure have a lot of faith in me, which is surprising seeing as how we hardly know each other,” she said as she took another bite.  Porter gasped in mock insult.

   “Hardly know each other?  You crush me, Ella.” She giggled at his playfulness.  “But seriously, what would you like to know?  I don’t know everything about you, but I know enough to figure out that the rest doesn’t matter.  I know that you’re smart and funny.  You’re proud, yet humble. You don’t like confrontation, even when you’re right.  You care a lot about your family and what they think about you.”  Ella was frozen, completely lost just staring at him, with their eyes locked.  “I know that when the wind blows through your hair it dances around your face and I know that the crook of your neck smells like vanilla.  I also know that when you’re turned on your make the sexiest little whimpering sounds I’ve ever heard.”  Ella was trying to remember how to breathe.  She couldn’t seem to get enough air in her lungs and every time she took a breath, it was panted back out immediately.  He paused a moment to take another drink of his wine.  “I know you, Ella.  I know the important stuff.  I hope to spend a lot of time learning the rest.  But at this point, it’s just noise.”

   Ella managed to grab her glass to take a sip of her wine.  She closed her eyes and tried to calm her breathing.  When she opened them he was still looking at her expectantly, waiting for her to respond.

   “Do you want to go sit on the porch for a little while?  It shouldn’t be too cold out yet,” she asked quietly.  She didn’t wait for a response, but got up from the table and headed towards the back door.  She heard him get out of his chair so she knew he was following her outside.  She walked out the door, went to the edge of the porch, and leaned against the railing.  Porter didn’t touch her, but he came to stand right behind her.  She could feel the heat from him.  Ella took in the scenery around her.  The sun had already set, but the light was still fading behind the horizon.  The sky still had some pink and orange hues fighting against the dark midnight blue that was slowly taking over.  In the back of her mind she thought that she was sad she’d missed the sunset and would have to make a point to see one before she left the beach for good.  Her breathing had finally returned to normal, but her mind was still racing a mile a minute trying to process all the thoughts and emotions that were coming at her.  After a few minutes of silence, he finally spoke.

   “I didn’t mean to upset you,” Porter said gently.  Ella sighed trying to put some words together to respond to him.

   “I’m not upset.  I’m moved, touched, and a little freaked out, but I’m not upset,” she said shaking her head at the ocean.

   “Ok, well, can you tell me which parts of what I said you liked and which you didn’t?” he asked hopefully.

   “Not really.  I loved everything you said.”

   “But?”

   “It scares me.  Ever since we met, you’ve done nothing but say all the right things and do everything in your power to make me feel special and taken care of.  You’re such a gentleman and you’re constantly surprising me with how capable you are.  And then there are your words.”   She turned around to face Porter and saw the confusion painted across his face.  “You say things to me that make my heart stop beating and sometimes I forget how to breathe.  When you say these things, I can’t tell if I’m falling for you or your words.  Then I feel guilty that I’m falling at all.”  She was starting to lose her breath again and she felt a panic coming over her.  She looked at the ground and felt Porter’s hands come up and grasp her shoulders.  He pulled her close to him and rested his lips against her forehead.  He ran his hands down her arms and then wrapped them around her waist clasping his hands together behind her back.

   “Is this all happening too fast?”  She looked up at him as she asked the question.

   “Not for me, it’s not.”  Porter sighed and pulled her in closer to him.  “I didn’t know it, but I’ve been waiting a long time for you to get here, for your car to breakdown at my mom’s bar so I could drive you home.  I didn’t know I was missing you.  But then you showed up and now I’m convinced that it all happened for a reason.  It’s too coincidental to be a mistake.  However,” he said slowly, “it isn’t up to me at this point.  I’m not the one dealing with the guilt.”  Ella nodded her head because she knew he was right.  He reached up to brush a lock of wayward hair off her face.  “I’m not going anywhere Ella.  I will be here for you, waiting for you to catch up with me, for as long as you need.”

   “You know I feel that way too, right?  I feel safe and protected with you.  I feel sexy and beautiful with you.  I love how m
uch you adore your mother and how hard you have worked to take care of her.  I love that you worry about me and check up on me.”  Ella was starting to calm down and even felt a smile come across her face as she listed the things she loved about Porter.  “I love that when you touch me I come alive.  I love that even though there’s no way you could have possibly known, you showed up to my house wearing a baseball shirt which just happens to be one of my most favorite, sexy things for men to wear.”  She grinned up at him and moved her hands around the back of his neck.

   Porter laughed, “Oh really?  Well, then, the fates are really pushing us together.”

   “So it would seem,” she smiled and then reached up to kiss him.  As her lips met his she felt his hands pulling her towards him.  She wrapped her arms around his neck, molding her body to his, fitting herself up against him as close as possible.  His hands moved from her back, gliding down to grab her ass, then continue their journey up her waist, then up to her shoulders.  She pulled away and smiled up at him.  “You know what I really want to do right now?”

   “Hmm?” He said as he kissed the tip of her nose.

   “I want to sit on this swing with you and drink a glass of wine,” she laughed because she knew that wasn’t what he wanted to hear.  He looked down at her and smiled.

   “Sounds like a plan.”

   “Great.  You wait here and I will go get us wine.”  She walked back into the house, poured two more glasses of wine, and then headed outside.  “Here, I’ll be right back,” she said as she handed him the glasses.  She went back inside and grabbed the big throw blanket off the back of the couch.  When she made it back to Porter, she held the blanket up and said, “It’s getting chilly out.” 

   He was already sitting
on one side of the swing, so she sat down next to him with her legs curled under her and snuggled into his side.  He handed her the wine then put his arm behind her pulling her into him.  She used her one free hand to spread the blanket out over the both of them.  Once they were finally settled, Ella let out a content sigh and relaxed further into him.  They sat together, swinging gently, watching the final light of the day drift below the horizon for quite some time.  Eventually, darkness surrounded them and the only sounds heard were those of the sea, gentle waves kissing the beach, coming back again and again for more.

   They sat in comfortable silence for a very long time, listening to the ocean, listening to each other breathing.  She felt chills run
along her spine when he started softly running his fingers up and down her shoulder, the sheer fabric of her shirt doing nothing to lessen the friction and impact his touch had on her.  Eventually she had drank all her wine, so she put her glass down on the ground then wrapped her arms fully around his waist, her face cozily snuggled into his chest.  She didn’t try to hide the smile that came over her face when she noticed his baseball shirt again.  His broad shoulders and strong arms looked delicious in that style of shirt and she couldn’t stop herself when her hand reached up to graze his bicep.

   “You really do like this shirt, don’t you?”

   “You have no idea.  It’s almost silly how much I am attracted to these shirts.  I think it has something to do with the fact that they accentuate the arms, which is my favorite part of the male body.”

   “Arms?” He asked, laughing at her.

   “Yes, arms.  Why is that funny?”

   “I don’t know.  I guess I’ve just never heard of anyone being attracted to arms before,” he
laughed even more.

   “Well, it’s not like I’m attracted to
all
arms, just really well built ones.  It’s not a magical shirt.  It only works on men who are in shape.”

   “And you think I fit that description?”

   She leaned back to look up at him and smiled, “Are we fishing for compliments now?”

  “Hey, guys need confidence boosts every now and then too,” he joked.

   “Oh no, is someone feeling insecure?  Let’s see here,” she said as she sat up to look him right in the eye.  “You have an incredible body, Porter.  There isn’t one thing about you I would change.  And yes, your arms are my favorite part.  They are strong, sexy, capable, and I feel safe inside of them.  I also really love your dark hair, unruly as it is, and your beautiful brown eyes.  Physically, you are quite the catch.  I cannot tell you how shocked I am that none of the women in this town have camped out in your yard vying for the chance to catch your eye.”

   “None of them would stand a chance against you, Ella,” he said as he gently rubbed
his thumb across her bottom lip.  As usual when Porter touched her, her breath stole away and she was left to survive off the heat he gave her as his eyes traveled from her eyes down to the lip he was fingering.  She watched him lean towards her and bring his mouth down to her.  The instant his lips touched hers, it was explosive.  The quiet and serene time they had spent on the swing gave way to frenzied and frantic grasping and clawing.

   Ella pulled away, breaths panting, “Can we go upstairs?”  Porter
didn’t answer her.  He just stood up letting the blanket fall to the ground and grabbed her hand, pulling her inside making her giggle.  He led the way through the living room, all the way up the stairs, and then stalled, looking left and then right.  “All the way at the end,” Ella said helping him locate the bedroom.  He continued forward finding her bedroom.  Once they were inside he led her to the bed and he sat down keeping her in front of him, holding her waist.  She ran her hands through his unruly hair, smiling.  He pulled her belly against his chest and she leaned down to kiss his lips.  His tongue gently teased her lips, asking to deepen the kiss.  She opened for him, inhaling sharply as he grabbed and pulled on her ass while he attacked her mouth with his.  She pulled her knees up on the bed to sit astride him, putting her face level with his.  Her hands were all over him, touching and rubbing.  She leaned back breaking their contact.

   “As much as I love this shirt, I think it’s time to take it of
f,” she smiled as she lifted his shirt up over his head.  Once he was bare chested she leaned back and took a moment to admire him.  She gently pushed him down so he was lying on the bed.  She leaned down and trailed kissed up his stomach.  He had the sexiest patch of hair that started at his bellybutton and went down past the waistband of his pants.  It was soft to kiss.  As she travelled farther up, she stopped to place light nibbles along the way, paying special attention to his nipples.  A groan escaped from him making her smile.  She felt his hands sliding up her back pushing her shirt up so he was touching her skin, causing her breath to catch in her throat.  Her mouth reached his jaw and she gave him small kisses all along his jawline and chin, loving the feel of his stubble against her lips.  He grabbed the hem of her shirt and camisole and pulled it off of her in between her kisses.  She looked down at him and heard him breathing heavy.

   “Damn Ella, you wear the sexiest things under your clothes.”
She looked down at her bra and laughed a little.  It was a dark blue lace that was practically see-thru and not made for modesty.  This was the second time he’d commented on her lingerie.  She would have to remember his fondness for fancy things.

   She g
ave him a naughty smile, “My panties match.”  His eyes shot wide open and he quickly maneuvered them in a slick roll so that he was on top and went to work on the button of her jeans. Within seconds he had them unfastened and was pulling them down her thighs.  He stood up to pull them completely off her.  Once she was in just her bra and panties, he stood in front of her gazing down at her.

   “You are so beautiful, Ella.  You do crazy things to me, just by laying there.  I want to look at you forever.”

   His words caught her off guard, but melted her heart.  He wasn’t delivering a line or trying to sweeten her up. He was being completely sincere.  She sat up and reached for the button on his jeans.  She never broke eye contact as he slid his pants and boxers down his legs and he stepped out of them.  She slid back on the bed, laying back into the pillows, and crooked a finger at him.  He climbed on the bed and crawled over her, his hands on either side of her head.  He peered down into her eyes and was looking like he wanted to say something.