Never Close Enough (26 page)

   “I love you, Babe.  I cannot wait to see your beautiful eyes open.  Come back to me sooner than later, ok?  I'm going to be waiting for yo
u, right here.”  Porter drifted off to sleep with the rhythmic beeping of heart monitor keeping time with the ventilator.  He woke a few times during the night when nurses would come in to check her vitals.  None of them asked him to move or indicated that him half-lying on her bed was an issue, so he tried to ignore them to the best of his abilities, drifting in and out of consciousness.  He didn't dream, but he did see images of a smiling Ella float around in his mind, memories of smiles she'd gifted him with over the last week and a half.  He saw her eating cheesecake on his couch, running towards him wearing only a white comforter, kissing him goodbye the last time they'd been together.

   When he eventually woke up completely, the nurse gently shook his
shoulder. 

   “We're going to take her for her CT scan now.”  Porter inhaled deeply and rubbed his face, trying to focus on what the nurse was saying. 

   “She's getting her CT scan now?”  He asked, still trying to get his brain to comprehend her words.

   “Yes, the doctor wanted to get her in as soon as possible.  She should be back in about an hour.”

   “All right.”  Porter stood up and placed a feather-light kiss on Ella's forehead, and then stepped back giving the nurse enough room to wheel the hospital bed out of the room.  He pulled out his cell phone to check the time, noticing it was still pretty early.  He decided to text his mom and Megan to tell them what was happening, a little upset he didn't have Susan or Robert's phone numbers to link them in.

**Ella was just taken for her CT scan.  The nurse said she should be back in about an hour.  Just an FYI.  Could one of you please tell Susan and Robert?  Thanks, see you both soon.**

   Porter took the time he had by himself to shower in the bathroom attached to Ella’s room, and grab a cup of coffee and bagel from the cafeteria.  When he made it back to Ella's room, he was pleased to see she had returned.  The nurse informed him that the CT scan went well and that the doctor would be back soon with results.

   “Dr. Andrews is anxious to get Ella off the ventilator and the medication, so he should be by soon to give his orders.  If the CT scan looks good, we should be proceeding soon,” she said happily.  Her smile was contagious and her optimism was gr
eatly appreciated by him.  He felt himself lighten at her words and squeezed Ella's hand.  He wanted nothing more in the world to see her bright blue eyes open up and he felt like today could be the day his Ella came back to him.

   Ella's family quickly s
tarted arriving, everyone asking Porter for updates.  He told them all what he knew, but everyone was waiting for the doctor to come with the official news.  Dr. Andrews came into Ella's room late morning, and asked Porter and Susan to join the rest of the family in the waiting room.

   “Ella's CT scan looks great,” he stated as soon as everyone was huddled together.  “There is no evidence of swelling or the bleed.  I am going to have her taken off the ventilator and the medication within the hour.”  Ella's
mother's hands covered her mouth, as she laughed and cried at the same time.  Everyone seemed to be smiling and laughing at the good news.  “I am going to need to ask you all to stay out of her room until the nurses can get her situated without the ventilator.  Once she is settled, we are going to request that only one person be in the room with her at a time.  Coming out of this type of sedation can be confusing and scary for patients.  So once she starts to come around, we will be asking that only Ella's mother be in the room.”  Everyone nodded, taking in every word the doctor was saying.  Porter was a little upset that he wouldn't be able to be there for Ella when she woke up, but he could understand why having Susan there was important.  He would get his time with her.

   “We have every reason to believe that Ella will wake up and make a full recovery, but I still would like you all to remember that there are still risks.  She's not completely out of the woods yet.  However, I am very pleased with her pr
ogress and we should be optimistic that there will be no repercussions from the head trauma.  She is a strong woman, a fighter for sure.” 

   Porter's heart swelled with pride at the doctors words.  He had never met a stronger woman then Ella and he was s
o lucky to have her.  Even though he hadn't slept well in days, and had been on an emotional roller coaster, the energy and strength the doctor’s words had brought him made him feel like he could run a marathon.

   The six of them sat in the waiting room,
energy buzzing around them, grasping on to the hope of good news when Ella woke up.  All of the Sinclairs were busy texting and calling extended family, giving updates and taking well wishes.  Porter sat next to Tilly, glad that his mother was here for him, and appreciated the fact that she had now closed the bar for two days to be here and support him and Ella.  He took his mother's hand, brought it to his mouth, and kissed it.  She gave his and a squeeze.

   “I love you, Baby Boy.”

   “I love you too, Mom.”

   “She is going to be so glad to see you, Porter.  I will make sure she knows how you never left her side, and that you've been with her throughout this whole ordeal.  She is lucky to have you, Son.”  Porter smiled down at his mother.

   “Thanks, Mom.”

   After a while, a nurse finally came into the waiting room.

   “Ella is off the ventilator.  Again, until we can evaluate her progress and medical condition once she wakes up, you are welcome to visit her one at a time.”

   Porter had been with her a
ll morning and didn't want to monopolize all of the time the Sinclairs had with Ella.  He had all this pent up energy, waiting for something that might not even happen soon, and he needed to occupy himself. 

   “Mom, I'm going to go for a walk.”

   “Do you want me to go with you?”

   “No, it's ok.  I think I'm just going to get something to eat and stop by the gift shop.  Do you want me to get you anything from the cafeteria?”

   “No, thank you.  I am fine.”

   “Ok, call me if anything happens while I'm go
ne.”

   About an hour later Porter returned with flowers from the gift shop, hoping they would make Ella feel better once she woke up.  Robert looked up from his chair in the waiting room and smiled.

   “Susan is in there now, but she wanted you to get some time with her before she woke up.  You can go in there now if you'd like,” Robert said.

   “Thanks, I think I will.”  Porter walked to the door and gave a gentle knock before opening it and stepping in.  He placed the flowers on the rolling tray next
to Ella's bed and he smiled at how they instantly made the room happier.

   “Hello, Porter,” Susan said.  “I was just telling Ella how I think she's finally found the right man to spend her life with.”  She looked over at him and smiled.  “Over the last tw
o days I have watched you with her, seen how you've taken on all of the burden of her incident, and tried to just make everything as easy for her as possible.  I don't think I've ever seen anyone look at Ella the way you do.  I almost believe that you need her just as much as you need air to breathe.”  Porter was taken aback by her words, not expecting them, but he felt a little bit of weight come off his shoulders as a wave of tension he didn't realize he was holding rolled off of him.

   “That really mean
s a lot to me, Susan.  I know it was a bit of a shock to find out that Ella and I were together and I wish it could have been under better circumstances.  But I love your daughter more than anything and being here with her right now is exactly where I am supposed to be.  I am where Ella is.  It's as simple as that.”  Susan stood up and hugged him.  As they embraced, she took a deep breath in and slowly let it out.

   “I'll let you have some time with her,” she said as she backed away from him.  He saw her t
ry to wipe a tear away without him seeing and it made him smile knowing that her mother approved of what was happening between them; it was just one more hurdle they wouldn't have to face once this whole ordeal was over.

   He looked over at Ella and took
in a sharp breath.  Without the ventilator, he could once again see her perfect mouth. 

   “There you are, Babe.  I've missed that mouth,” he said as he leaned down and pressed a small kiss to the very corner of her lips.  His hands cradled her face and h
e felt another knot of tension release, not realizing how good it would feel to see her face free from machines.  “You are so beautiful.”  She still lay peacefully asleep, but now she very much reminded him of the carefree woman in his bed just days ago instead of the robbery victim he'd been so worried about. He brushed a piece of hair off her forehead and took a peaceful moment to simply appreciate how gorgeous she was.  As he used his eyes to strategically commit every one of her features to his memory, he noticed her eyelids started to move and it looked as if she was squinting with her eyes closed.

   “Ella?  Baby?” his heart rate spiked rapidly and his fingers became useless as he tried to punch to call button for the nurse.  Adrenaline pumped through
him as he watched Ella start to move her head to the side and her eyelids fluttered open.  A buzzing noise came through the speakers on her bed.

   “Is there something we can do for you?” A disembodied voice asked.

   “Please come quickly.  She's waking up,” He said with urgency.   He turned back to Ella.  She faded in and out; her eyes opened for fractions of a second at a time.  “Ella,” he said as he gently rubbed the back of his hand over her cheek.  The nurse came in the room right as Ella opened her eyes fully and looked around the room in confusion, still processing what she was seeing.

   “Sir, I am going to have to ask you to leave now.”  Porter looked back and forth between Ella and the nurse.  He knew this was protocol, but being so close to her as
her eyes were opening, he didn't know if he could leave her now.  “Please, Sir, it's time to go.”

   “I'm right here, Ella.  I’m not going anywhere,” he said as the nurse all but pushed him towards the door.  With one last look he retreated from the room.
  As he left he saw two more nurses and Dr. Andrews walking towards Ella's room, moving swiftly with urgent purpose.  He watched them go into her room and tried to ignore the gnawing pain in his chest from wanting to be with her.  He turned towards the waiting room and when he went in all eyes came to his face.  He must have had his shock showing because Susan shot up from her chair.  “She's waking up,” was all he could say.  Susan ran out of the waiting room, no doubt headed for Ella's room.  He sat down next to his mom and felt her trying to comfort him by rubbing circles on his back.

   He sat there for what felt like days.  Time crept by slowly and quietly.  Porter felt like he could have counted individual grains of sand as they fell through an hourglas
s.  He was being tortured; he was sure of it.  Finally a nurse came into the waiting room and everyone looked at her expectantly.  Their eyes pleading with her to give them hope, news, anything.

   “Megan?”

   “Yes?” Megan answered with confusion in her voice.

   “Come with me, please,” the nurse said curtly.  Megan stood up and followed the nurse back to Ella's room.  Porter let out a frustrated groan and stood up to start pacing the room.

   “What the hell is going on in there?  Why hasn't anyone come out to update us?”

   “Porter, honey, I am sure they are just checking her out, giving her a chance to get acclimated.  Everything is going to be fine, just be patient.”

   “Patience is something I'm familiar with mother.  I've waited thirty-two years for Ella to even come into my life.  I'm just having a hard time with the last hour or so.  I just need to see her eyes, talk to her, tell her I love her.”

   “You'll get your chance.  Just let the doctors do their job.”  Porter let out a loud breath, and continu
ed to pace around the room.  Just as he talked himself out of barging into Ella's room demanding to see her, Megan came into the waiting room.  She looked at the floor and nervously fiddling with her fingers.

   “Dad, you can go in and see Ella.  She's ask
ing for you,” she said gesturing towards the doorway.

   “She's awake? And she can talk?  What's going on Megan?” Porter demanded as Robert left the room to go see his daughter.

   “She is awake and she can talk, but she still seems pretty confused,” Megan said finally looking up at Porter.

   “Can I go see her?”

   “Not yet, let's give her some time.”

   “Fuck! Megan, please, I need to see her!”  At his harsh words Patrick stood from his chair and moved in between him and Megan.

   “Calm down, Porter,” Patrick said sternly, holding his arm out towards him.

   “Porter, you watch your mouth!” Tilly chastised from her chair.

   “I promise you, Porter, as soon as the doctors think it's a good idea for you to see her you will be allowed in.  Right now we need to do what's best for Ella.  I know you love her, but you need to calm down and stop making demands.”  He looked at her, trying to calm down his breathing.