Never Kiss an Outlaw: Deadly Pistols MC Romance (Outlaw Love) (11 page)

Took half the night to make peace with it all.

By the time I dragged myself home, the first blue tint of day flickered on the horizon. I fished the spare key outta my pocket and slowly made my way into the apartment.

Thank fuck she was dead asleep in her room. I crashed out on the old sofa the club had pitched in to buy, and slept like mad, every part of me knowing she was just one wall away.

This wasn't just about the crazy ass push and pull between me and Cora anymore.

Shit, it wasn't even about fucking her, pinning her to the nearest flat surface, and emptying the fire in my balls a hundred times over.

Truth was, I'd fought like hell to get her away. And I'd only brought her closer, came up close and personal with the silver bullet she'd planted in my heart.

Fuck it, the truth hurt. But I wasn't running no more.

I had to keep this girl safe.

I had to own her.

I had to make her mine 'til it didn't take my hand thumping against her ass to make her look at me with respect shining in those bright, pearly blues.

I wanted her to want me for real, to wear my brand and be proud of it. I'd make it all happen. God willing.

Fuckin' had to, sure as a maniac. Didn't give a single shit who I had to kill or what I had to suffer to do it.

The gloves were off, and they'd never go back on as long as my hands were hungry to finish what they'd started with Cora's sweet little ass.

M
y ass stung the next day. Truly, the only reminder that the night before wasn't just a crazy dream.

Firefly did it. He'd spanked me. He'd thrown me against the wall, pulled down my pants, and put his palm to my flesh like he had a right to it.

I should've been horrified. But my body responded with a mind of its own, giving me the most explosive orgasm I'd ever had in my life.

The bitter aftermath hit nearly as hard.

I was shaking, exhausted, and ashamed when I walked into my apartment that night. I was strangely satisfied, too, as if he'd given me something I'd been craving and trying to fight forever.

Sick. Scary.
Wrong
on so many levels.

I couldn't begin to count them all. Hell, I couldn't even handle all the different things I had rushing through my brain, threatening to tear me in two.

I loved what he did to me, and I shouldn't have. I hated him – so I told myself, knowing it was a feeble lie.

Also knew I was more mixed up than I'd ever been before, and the big question weighing on my mind as I tossed and turned that night felt like an anchor around my neck.

What now?

I couldn't begin to guess. There wasn't any fighting the order Skin sent down from Dust, to serve and protect, guarding me until the mysterious threat faded for good.

I'd gotten myself a full time bodyguard I never wanted. I couldn't tell which urge was strong – to kiss him, or slap him across his smug, gorgeous face.

My body knew exactly what I wanted. Desire hummed in every nerve, reminding me how amazing it had been to feel his dangerous strength pressed against me, striking hot, almost inside me.

Just...fuck
. As if this wasn't hard enough.

The more time I spent with him, the more my need grew. That's why it stung a thousand times worse than the spanking when he'd threatened to rip it all away.

I needed the big, crude bastard in my life. Needed him even worse than the saner part of me needed him to stay the hell away.

There wasn't a manual here. There was no telling how I'd survive, but I had to try, one day at a time.

If the bad guys nobody would tell me about didn't get to me first, then maybe my own wild desire would. Whatever happened from here, I couldn't ignore the magnetism aiming my body and my mouth straight at him.

I couldn't just run, much less stay away, now that he'd been assigned to deal with me. When I heard him knocking on my bedroom door, I sat up, and pulled the blanket around me extra tight.

No more escaping it. I had to face my destiny.

* * * *

T
he Heel was a madhouse the next day. It almost took the edge off the quiet, awkward ride through town with Firefly. None of us said anything after he asked me about breakfast, and I told him I'd find something to order at the club.

A big group of firemen were in town for some kind of conference. The handsome, rowdy bunch of men buying lap dances left and right nearly gave some of the Pistols guys a run for their looks.

I stared out at the big men laughing while Tawny squirmed in front of them through the small crack in the curtain, making sure everything ran smoothly. So far, so good.

“Hey, don't stare too long. You might go blind – or else you'll make Firefly jealous.” Meg came up behind me so suddenly I jumped.

“What do you mean? He's just my bodyguard,” I lied, hoping the dark light backstage would hide the redness creeping across my cheeks.

“Whatever you say. No worries, we can keep it between us girls. Nobody needs to know you were eye-fucking all the man candy out there.” She winked.

“No, it's not like that,” I insisted. “I was just taking a quick look, doing my job, thinking.”

“Mm-hmm. You do a lot of that, don't you?”

“My father was a lot like them once. Different branch of public service, sure, but he wore a uniform and would probably sneak off to places like this with his friends back when he was on the force. After my mother died, I mean.”

Jesus, what the hell was wrong with me? Why was I thinking about what daddy did in his off hours, much less going to strip clubs?

“That's the way it goes with real men. They might wear different uniforms, but if the heart underneath it's true, then that's what really matters.” Meg nodded sagely, as if she had a burning need to reinforce her own words so I'd believe them. She eyed the small ring on her hand.

Yeah, about that...daddy hadn't been true underneath. He'd gotten himself in deep trouble, handed me to these rough men who wore a different sort of uniform before I got killed, and left this world like a coward.

It still hurt to think of him that way. I hadn't even asked about his ashes, or what happened to our old house after I'd heard about the men on my trail ransacking it. Everything hurt too much.

“I'm talking about the outlaws,” Meg said, studying the pain in my eyes. “They're good men, even Firefly. I wouldn't be walking around wearing Skin's name if it weren't true.”

“These are the guys I was always told to stay away from. I respected the badge, and always did what my father told me.” I shook my head, turning toward the loud hollers coming through the curtain. “I still can't believe it sometimes, the fact that I'm stuck living like this. Can you think of anything worse?”

“Easily.” Her face darkened, and she turned around, walking toward the little office she used for running the place.

Something urged me to follow her. She didn't shut me out, and waved me into an empty chair when I followed her into the small, cluttered brain controlling the Ruby Heel.

“What happened to you?” It just came out of my mouth. “I see the kind of clothes you wear and the way you talk...you're a rich, educated woman. You're a misfit in this world, just like I am, aren't you?”

“I was thrown into it, the same as you. My family gave me everything. Easy, when you're born to the most powerful businessman in East Tennessee. I grew up spoiled, and acted out plenty. It got me in deep shit when I ran into the wrong man in the mountains.” She looked down at her finely painted nails, always hot red or jade green, except they were a little chipped today.

“He took me. Enslaved me. Forced me to do despicable things with strangers. I was going to be auctioned off. The bastard whored me out, ruined my hope, made me wish every day I'd die in my sleep. Until one day a big, beautiful biker man came, and promised me the world. Skin saved me, Cora, in more ways than one.”

My heart sank. I hurt for the pain in her voice, the half-forgotten agony just oozing out of her.

I bled for myself, too.

Suddenly, I had an inkling how much worse it could be. My tragedy wasn't unique, and I
hated it.

Nobody was looking out for me. Nobody cared. Dust, he made a lot of moves to keep me from dying because of his promises to my father, but he didn't know me.

He didn't care, beyond carrying out his mission. No one did, save for one man.

“And you decided to stay?” I asked. “After he helped you, I mean?”

“Well, obviously.” Meg smiled. “This is my world now. Sure, growing up in a nice family and screwing around without a care in the world seemed like heaven, a long, long time ago. But this is where I really belong, running my own life, at the side of a man I love and owe my life to. We're engaged to be married soon. It's going to be the best day of my life.”

“Why are you telling me all this?”

She folded her hands and leaned forward, staring into my eyes. “Because I want you to be more than just a drone. There's more to this life than just working and going home with the same sour look on your face, Cora.”

“Uh, it's not like I'm able to go bar hopping all over town with the target that's on my back. Supposedly.”

“I know,” Meg said quietly. “But it won't be forever. One day, you'll be a free woman. You can hang this up, go back to teaching, and forget all the punches you've taken this past month. Or you can own this world, carve a piece of it for yourself, and find out what you're truly made of. You can kick ass, but you don't have to do it alone. The choice is yours.”

I fought the urge to stand up, walk right out of her office, and slam the door so fucking hard my wrist snapped. I didn't come here looking for sisterly advice from this woman who was barely older than me, and wasn't much closer than a stranger.

Still, I respected what she'd suffered. I promised myself I wouldn't leave making a scene.

“Are we done here?” I said slowly, tasting the bitter cut of every word.

“Yeah. Go finish your shift and ride home with the man who's protecting you. If anything I said here today matters, don't tell me about it. Show me.”

I stepped outside and gently closed the door behind me, resisting the urge to smash it. It would've been a nice substitute for the urge to obliterate all the screwed up shards of my life.

I wasn't fooling anyone, though. Not even myself.

Being a bitch to Meg after she'd tried to have a heart-to-heart wouldn't make things easier. It wouldn't drain the feelings I had for Firefly, or set me free.

That was up to me, and nobody else. My shift went by in a blur, hustling the girls out to the firefighters and the other drunks. By the end of the night, I was smiling.

I couldn't wait for him. Almost looked forward to hearing the growl of Firefly's motorcycle, or maybe just the rumble of his voice.

We'd sort this out, little by little, just like the mess in my own head.

* * * *

“M
a'am, I only had one backstage, honest!” A skinny brunette named Velvet clutched her cigarettes to her chest, as if I'd reach for her bare tits and snatch them away.

That's exactly what I did a second later. The girls had all bought my legend since I'd lashed out at Trig. I stuffed them into my pocket and let her tumble backwards before I shot her a sharp look.

“Take it up with Megan. You know the rules – no junk, not even the legal stuff, while you're on the clock. The club could also get fined. Employment regulations, and all that. I'll keep these for now. If Meg says you can have them back, well, that's up to her. Go!”

I pointed toward my boss' office. Velvet pouted, but she moved, clicking her high heels against the wooden floor.

The clock overhead ticked on.
Fifteen more minutes.

“Holy shit. Cora fuckin' Chase?”

I whirled around and faced the gravely, slurred voice. A tall, older man I didn't recognize at first stood backstage, a tall beer in his hand.

Not his first, judging by the way he swayed while he looked at me.

“Tony Pearson?” I squeaked, vaguely recognizing the deadbeat dad. Mister Fisher had a lot of trouble with him in class, always getting into parent-teacher shouting matches over the phone when his kid, Billy, flunked quizzes.

“Yeah, fuck yeah. When did you turn into such a big slut? Shit, Billy said you'd disappeared, stopped teaching altogether. Real big mystery...”

I pursed my lips. “That isn't what's going on here. Hey – stay back!”

I held out my hands. The drunk wasn't deterred. He moved, coming towards me, backing me against the tall dresser Velvet had just abandoned.

“Hot little cunt. Always knew you had a nasty side when I saw you, coming to the school to deal with that prick over Billy's shit. Fuck, how 'bout a couple kisses, princess? We'll call it payback for all those times you made me shit my pants over those fuckin' Fs you slapped on his papers!”

“You shouldn't be back here! Get out, before I call security.”

The bastard grabbed me. His hands went all over, moving rough and sloppy. He went for my breasts, between my legs, through my hair.

Help!
I looked around desperately, but I was all alone. The girls were all on break or else out on the floor, doing their acts.

He reached under my shirt, tearing at the blouse so hard I lost several buttons. I screamed, but the beat of the music through the curtain was too loud, drowning out everything except raw bass and wailing guitars.

“Get. Off!” I pushed him as hard as I could, but there wasn't any leverage. He'd thrown me across the dresser and his gut was too big, holding me down, slowly pushing his way between my legs while he felt up my skirt.

“Shuddup. You like it rough, we can play rough!” He pulled my hair so hard it nearly ripped.

Goddamn it. This was going to ruin everything.

Even if somebody came back here and stopped him before something awful happened, I'd lose everything I'd built with the girls. Gossip ran deep in these circles. They wouldn't listen to a woman who'd been shredded by a drunken, stupid, dirty old bastard like him.

I wasn't going down like this.
Hell no!