Never Let Go (14 page)

“You know,” I start, tracing little circles on his flat stomach with my forefinger, “in the dark, nobody knows who you are. Maybe we don’t have to wait all the way till January. Maybe tonight can be the perfect opportunity for you and me to sneak away. To go somewhere… more private.” I hear the words coming from my mouth, but they don’t sound like my own.

Andrew stiffens. His hands grasp my upper arms and he moves me away. He turns us around, so that now my back is against the wall.

“You know I can’t do that,” he hisses in my ear. The bit of stubble on his jaw tickles my cheek. “You can’t—you shouldn’t—tempt me like that.”

“Why not?” I ask, emboldened by the liquor running through me. “Who says we always have to follow the rules? Who does it hurt if no one finds out?” I grab the collar of Andrew’s shirt and tug him down so I can whisper in
his
ear. “Every night since we kissed I’ve gone to bed thinking about you. I
want
you, Andrew. Kiss me. Right here. Right now.”

Andrew blanches and pulls away. He gives me a disgusted look. “Get a hold of yourself. How much have you had to drink tonight? God, I knew I should have shut down the party the moment I got here.” He points an accusing finger at me. “You’re drunk. I thought I could reason with you to get everyone out of here quietly, but I see you’re in no state of mind to do that.”

Immense shame rolls through me. Andrew turns around and starts to walk away. I grab his sleeve and pull him back.

“No, no, Andrew, wait. I’m sorry. I’m not drunk, I swear.” I enunciate each of my words so he doesn’t think I’m slurring them. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have… said all that.” I shake my head and laugh weakly. “My roommate must be rubbing off on me.”

He looks at me, considering things for a moment. Then he gives a curt nod. “I knew that wasn’t you speaking. You’re much too sweet for that.” He smiles. “I’m sorry if I seemed harsh. I just don’t like being here, you know? I don’t like getting people in trouble—especially when I care about one of them.”

I blink. After the horrible way he’d just made me feel, this is the last thing I’d expect. “You… care about me?”

He nods. “It’s just… it’s fucking hard, you know? Knowing that I have to wait so long to be with you. Trust me, I’ve considered breaking the rules many times. But, I can’t. My brother… I’m the only one he’s got. I need to keep my job for his sake. We’d be broke without it.”

“I had no idea it was that serious, Andrew. You should have told me before.”

He shrugs. “I didn’t want you to feel sorry for me. I don’t regret what I have. Jordan’s a great kid. I love him with all my heart. It’s hardest on him, you know? Being so young, not having his parents around…” Andrew’s face becomes hard in something I take for anger. “It’s not
fair
to Jordan that our father is an asshole. I do the best I can, but I know it can never be enough.”

My heart melts at his sincerity. So
this
is the reason Andrew is such a stickler for the rules. He has to be, for Jordan’s sake.

“What about your mother?” I ask.

“Dead,” Andrew says. “She got sick and died when I was eighteen. Jordan was four. He barely remembers her. Our asshole father remarried years before that. Jordan and I have been on our own since.”

“Andrew… I’m sorry.” It’s obvious to me how much he loves his little brother. I’ve seen it every week after swimming lessons. “If there’s anything I can do to help…”

Andrew gives a little laugh. “You can help by not making
this
—” he gestures at both of us, “—any harder than it has to be. It’s only a few more months, Paige. Then we don’t have to fight all these restrictions.”

“Okay,” I nod quietly. “I guess you’ll need me to have everyone leave, then?”

“It’ll be better if you do it,” he says. “I can go tell the RA there’s no booze here. But if he decides to check for himself, this place has to be empty.” Andrew smiles. “I’ll give you half an hour to settle everything first.”

“Thanks,” I start. Right at that moment Katy bursts out of the crowd and grabs my hand. She shoots a suggestive smile at Andrew, then pulls me a few feet away.

“What the hell?” I demand when she’s still. “Katy, what was all that?”

She cuts right to the chase. “Spencer’s here,” she says, watching for my reaction. “He heard about this little get-together and decided to come visit you.”

I groan. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. I’ve heard he’s been on good behavior for the past little while, so cut him some slack, will you?”

“I’ll see about that,” I mumble. “You didn’t invite him, did you?”

Katy makes the largest, most innocent eyes ever at me.

I just
know
she’s guilty.

“Never mind,” I mutter. “Just go keep Andrew busy while I deal with Spencer. He was sent here to shut down the party. By our
RA,
who you promised wouldn’t be a problem.”

Katy giggles and offers me a drunk salute. “Aye, aye, capt’n!”

I roll my eyes even as I smile, then jump into the mass of bodies to look for Spencer.

He’s not hard to find. He didn’t come alone, of course. There’s an entourage of fluttery sorority girls around him. Each one is wearing less clothing and more makeup than the last.

I push through their brightly-colored circle and take Spencer by the elbow. “You,” I tell him, “are coming with me.”

I lead him to a back corner of the room, ignoring the squabble of protests from the girls. I turn on him and feel my temper flare. “You have a lot of nerve coming back here like this, you know?” I lambast him. “Nobody invited you.”

“I heard it was an open party,” Spencer tells me, his eyes dancing. “Besides, I was getting worried about you. I haven’t seen you for weeks.”

“You were worried about me?” I snort. “I find that hard to believe.”

“You not believing it doesn’t make it any less true,” Spencer offers casually. “Plus, I didn’t like the way we left things last time. I think there’s still some unfinished business…” his finger trails lazily down my arm, “…between us.”

I step back and shake my head. I can’t take the way his touch
still
excites me. “There’s nothing between us, Spencer,” I say vehemently.

“So stubborn,” he mutters. “It’s a shame you’re always so cold. Lesser men would have given up by now.”

“Maybe that’s because they can take a hint,” I shoot back.

Spencer taps his lips as he looks at me. He’s got that half-lidded, lazy gaze thing going on again. It’s incredibly attractive.

“No,” he says finally. “No, that’s not it. You don’t want me to give up. You don’t want me to disappear before you’ve even gotten to know me.”

“Trust me, Spencer,” I tell him. “Nothing would make me happier.” I take a deep breath. “If you came here for the party, you’re out of luck. We’re just about to shut it down—”

“I don’t believe it!” Andrew’s voice filters over the sounds of the party. “You left me to talk to
this
clown?”

I turn back, surprised, and find an angry-looking Andrew glaring at me and Spencer.

“Hey, jackass, watch it with the names,” Spencer warns. “You wouldn’t want a fist smashing in that preppy little face of yours.”

“Yeah, fuck you too, Spencer,” Andrew spits. He grabs my hand. “Come on, Paige. I’m not going to stand here and let you talk to trash like him.”

Spencer barks a laugh. “She’s just fine where she is.” He takes my other hand and pulls me back. “Tell him, kitten.”

“Kitten?” Andrew mocks. “That’s a stupid fucking name. Don’t tell me you actually let him call you that, Paige.”

“I don’t let him call me anything,” I say, yanking my hands free of both men. I don’t like being pulled around like some rag doll. “What’s up with the sudden jealousy, Andrew?”

“Yeah,
Andrew
,” Spencer mimics. “Don’t you have some other party to crash? From what I remember, you take your job
so
seriously.”

Andrew steps around me, right into Spencer’s face. “Watch it, asshole.”

Spencer doesn’t shy back at all. He laughs. “I could kick your ass any day of the week. Are you sure you want to make a scene?”

“Try me,” Andrew growls.

“Stop it, both of you!” I cry out, squeezing myself between their bodies to break them apart. “Andrew, what the hell has gotten into you?”

“I don’t like you talking to him,” he tells me.

I balk. “I can handle who I talk to myself.”

“Besides, she found me,” Spencer notes.

I turn on him. “Don’t start,” I warn.

“I see you’re still wearing the bracelet I gave you,” Spencer grins. “That’s good.”

“You’re wearing something
HE
gave you?” Andrew roars. His eyes smolder like burning embers. I’ve never seen him this upset. It frightens me.

Before I can blink, Andrew steps around me again and shoves Spencer by the shoulders, hard. Spencer’s back hits the wall. People around us stop and take notice.

A mocking, half-smile forms on Spencer’s face. “Now you’ve asked for it,” he says, and launches himself at Andrew.

The two bodies collide. I scream. Spencer and Andrew fall to the floor, grappling with each other. Other girls start shrieking. A few guys rush in to break Andrew and Spencer up. It’s commotion.

Someone grabs my shoulders and pulls me away. I struggle against the grip. I lose sight of the fight as I trip and fall heavily to the ground. People are yelling and screaming all around us, and it’s impossible to make anything out in the dark. Those arms are still around me, and I fight against them wildly.

Then I realize it’s Katy who’s holding me. Katy is yelling in my ear. I stop struggling.

By then, most of the damage has been done. Somebody across the room flicks the lights on. I blink away the brightness, and scramble to my feet.

It seems like all the guys in the room rushed in to break up the fight. Half the hockey team is holding Andrew, while the other half is crowded around Spencer. Andrew’s bottom lip is busted.

Andrew’s trying hard to break free. Spencer is not. Andrew’s flinging insults the likes of which I’ve never heard.

I run into the middle of the fray. “STOP!” I yell. “Andrew, stop! Stop it!” He’s still snarling at Spencer.

“Party’s over.” Katy pops up beside me. “Everyone go home.” When nobody moves, she raises her voice. “
NOW
!”

The sorority girls are the first to scramble out. A bunch of guys follow them. When it’s clear that the fight is over, the hockey players start to file out, too.

“Not you,” Katy tells Andrew when he tries to sneak away. “You’ve got a lot of explaining to do.”

“What about him?” Andrew bitches, staring daggers at Spencer. “How come he gets off scot free?”

I turn on him. “You’re the one who started it!”

Andrew looks shocked.

I close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath. “I expected more from you,” I sigh. My voice sounds more hurt than I intend.

Andrew’s eyes immediately soften. He focuses on me, trying to read my face.

I don’t hide my disappointment.

Andrew should have handled this without erupting. He is
supposed
to be level-headed. He is
supposed
to be responsible.

That’s who I know him as. That’s what I trust about him.

Except now, I don’t know
what
to think.

“Paige…” he starts. “It’s not my fault. Spencer—”

I cut him off. “No. Do
not
try to draw the blame away from yourself.”

“Thanks for sticking up for me, babe,” Spencer says from behind me.

I turn and jab my finger at his chest. “I’m not sticking up for you,
either
, Spencer.” I’m incredibly pissed at both of them.

Katy comes up beside me and puts her hand on my shoulder.

That small gesture means the world to me. Our eyes meet for a second, and she gives me a tight smile. Then she looks at Spencer. “You need to leave. Right now.”

Spencer shrugs. “Fine by me.” He winks at me. “But you and I aren’t finished yet, kitten.”

Katy picks up an empty beer can and chucks it at his head. Spencer ducks, shoots me a cheeky grin, then waltzes out.

When the door closes, it’s just Katy, Andrew, and me in the room. His lip is bleeding badly, making a mess of half his face. I stalk to the kitchen, grab a roll of paper towels, and shove it in his hands. Andrew mutters, “Thanks,” under his breath.

The tension is thick as I go sit with Katy on the couch. Andrew is slumped back against the opposite wall, holding the paper towels to his mouth.

I can’t stand to look at him right now. I’m mad at him, but even so, I can’t stop worrying about his lip. I tell myself it looks much worse than it really is.

“Looks like golden boy here isn’t so perfect after all,” Katy says to no one in particular.

I glance at Andrew on the other side of the room. His eyes are downcast. He looks exceptionally guilty.

Why does this have to be so
hard
? Yes, he overreacted, but secretly, I love the fact that he fought for me. Maybe not the
manner
in which he fought, but the passion I saw confirmed his feelings for me.

That is why being mad at him is so freaking hard—especially when he looks
this
penitent.

“What is going on with you?” I ask at exactly the same time as he mumbles, “I’m sorry.”

We both stop and stare at each other. There’s an awkward stretch of silence.

“I think,” Katy offers, mercifully breaking the quiet, “that we should start by asking Andrew for an explanation. I didn’t see the whole thing, but I definitely saw him shove Spencer first.”

Andrew glares at her. “He deserved it.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the peer leader?” Katy asks. “Always a model of ideal behavior and all that shit? A real-life boy scout?”

Andrew cringes as she speaks. “I know. Fuck, I’ll probably lose my job over this. If word gets out—”

“It won’t,” I interject. Katy gives me a strange look, but I ignore it. “We’re not going to say anything,” I assure him. I might not like this side of Andrew, but I’m not about to let anything happen to him or his brother over a stupid fight.