Never Let Me Go: The Complete Set (5 page)

“Now you know exactly how rich, though. Does that change anything for you?”

“Not in the way I feel for him. It just freaks me out a bit more.” I grimaced.

“Why does it scare you?” She turned to look at me.

“It’s just a little bit daunting. He can have anyone he wants, why would he want me?”

“Stop it. I won’t hear you disparage yourself like that. You are amazing. Smart, and beautiful. The whole damn package. He would be lucky to have you.” She pointed a wooden spoon at me.

“What if none of this was real?” I said softly. “If I built it into something in my head?”

“What do you really think? Do you think it was nothing, or do you think it was something?”

“I think it was something.” I sighed and snuggled Grayson against my cheek.

“There’s your answer, then.”

My sisters were totally right, there was no way I could move on with my life if I didn’t take this leap and go find him. I would always regret it if I didn’t go.

“Why couldn’t things have gone differently before?”

“Because honey, life isn’t always easy. Even when you get your happy ending, you still have to work for it.” A shadow crossed her expression.

I set Grayson down in his playpen and went to sit on the counter. “What’s going on with you?”

“What? Nothing. Why would you ask that?”

“I ask because I’m not blind. You’ve been off for a couple of weeks. Tell me what’s going on.”

A tear leaked down her cheek. “I don’t know what’s happening. I feel like he’s slipping away.”

“John?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“What’s been happening?” I put an arm around her shoulders.

“He’s so distant. I can never get a hold of him anymore. He’s been working nonstop, or at least that’s where he says he is. I wish I knew what the problem was so I could fix it.”

My heart broke to see her like this. She and John were always so solid, what we all aspired to have.

“After Gray was born, it was hard. I’m not going to lie and tell you things have been perfect. As a new mom, I lost myself in him. It was all about the baby.”

“Honey, that’s understandable. It was a lot for you to take in all at once.”

“I’ve never stopped loving him, or wanting him.”

“Have you told him that?”

“So many times, over and over. I don't know what I would do if he left me.”

“He’s not going to leave you. John loves you, and he loves Grayson. I’m sure it’s just work that has him stressed out.” I hoped to God that’s all it was. I couldn’t imagine John stepping out on her, but you never could tell with people.

“I just hate feeling like this. I want to trust him, he’s never given me a reason not to. But something feels weird. This isn't him, or how we are with each other. I feel like it’s all going to fall apart.”

“You need to talk to him. Be honest about how you’re feeling.” I wanted to reassure her, but at the same time I wanted to beat the shit out of my brother-in-law for making her feel insecure in their marriage. Here I was giving my sister advice, yet I didn’t want to follow it. They were right, I did owe it to myself to go see him. I needed to find out if this could really be something.

“Okay, enough of me being silly. Tell me more about your trip and all the clothes Faith made you buy.”

I rolled my eyes at the mention of the clothes and launched into the whole shopping story.

I WAS PACKED AND LYING
in bed with my now, very worn copy of
Forbes
, staring at Logan’s face on the page. Would he even remember me? I almost talked myself out of going, but something in me squashed that fear. I knew that I would never move on unless I had closure.

I still remembered the feel of his lips against mine and his hands on my skin. The thought of him rejecting me, and never feeling that again, was not something I wanted to dwell on.

Hope picked us up the next day to take us to the airport.

“I think you’re doing the right thing.” Hope hugged me tight.

“I hope I am.” I smiled weakly. The previous night I hadn’t slept a wink.

“Go and find your man.” She squeezed me one last time before turning to hug Faith. “Make sure she doesn’t chicken out.”

“I can promise you I won’t let that happen. There’s no way in hell that we’re flying all the way there for her to not at least talk to him.”

I tended to be a nervous flyer, so Faith’s solution was to get me a bit tipsy before we boarded the flight.

“Come on, let’s hit up one of the crappy bars they have here.” We wheeled along our carry-ons and headed for the nearest bar to our gate.

“I don’t want to drink,” I protested when Faith slid a shot in front of me.

“Yes, you do. You’ll feel better once you drink it.” She grinned and tossed hers back.

I grimaced and followed suit, coughing like crazy as it burned its way down my throat. She was right, I felt a bit calmer already.

An hour later, they called our flight, and I wobbled slightly as I hopped off my stool. The flight was over before I knew it, and we were in a cab on the way to our hotel. I had never been to New York—so I was your typical tourist, my face pressed to the window taking in the sights.

I didn’t even care where we were staying; I had left it up to Faith. I was too nervous about finding Logan.

Faith talked me into exploring the city with her once we were settled in.  We were staying near Central Park, so we took a carriage ride through the park and then walked down to Times Square. We walked back up 5
th
Avenue, stopping to see the window displays at Sak’s, detouring to see the Rockefeller Center, Radio City Music Hall, and St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

“Is it like you imagined it would be?” she asked me.

“You know, the buildings are bigger, but the area of the city is so much smaller than I imagined. I had no idea we could walk everywhere.” My head was on a swivel the entire time, I wanted to see everything.

I had no idea where we were, Faith said it was the financial district, but who really knew. Tons of buildings and men in suits getting in and out of cabs and shiny black cars.

Faith was laughing at something, her attention focused on a display window, when I saw him. Standing across the street with a group of men. I stilled and put a hand on Faith’s arm to get her attention.

“What?” She got a look at the shocked expression on my face.

“It’s Logan,” I whispered.

She followed my gaze. “Shit. He looks good doesn’t he?”

“Very.”

For the briefest second, our eyes met across the busy street. His expression turned to one of surprise. The barest hint of a smile on his lips.

“Are you going to go over there and say something?” Faith nudged me.

“I…”

Before I could answer, he was climbing into the waiting limo. Not even a second glance spared in my direction.

“Um. What was that?” Faith asked.

“He didn’t want me. I knew I was right.” My heart sank to my feet.

“No. You don’t know that for sure. What if he didn’t realize it was you? There were a lot of cars between.”

“He smiled at me, Faith. He knew it was me and didn’t come over here. He just left.” I had to stop myself from crying.

“Give him the benefit of the doubt, honey. Go see him tomorrow and see what he says.” She put an arm around my shoulders.

“Yeah, okay,” I mumbled and let her lead me through the streets.

“Come on, we still have tons of stuff to see.” She put on a cheery smile and pulled me along after her.

Just before midnight, after eating greasy pizza and a ton of gelato, we dragged our butts back to the Westin to get some sleep.

We woke up to rain. Not exactly the omen I was looking for, although it sort of went with my mood. Seeing him yesterday had messed with my head. I started to panic. I hadn't brought anything for rain. Faith shooed me into the shower and went out in search of a sexy coat for me to wear.

About an hour after I emerged from the bathroom, showered, made-up, and with my hair done, Faith returned victorious with a cute, black, knee-length belted trench coat that looked amazing with the red dress I planned on wearing.

“Are you ready for this?” Faith hugged me tight.

“No, but I’m going anyway. Wish me luck?” My heart hammered in my chest.

“You don't need it, honey. Go and knock his socks off!”

I hopped in a cab and told the driver to take me to the McFadden building in Lower Manhattan. My heart was in my throat the entire drive. This was it; I was really going to do this.

The McFadden building was huge, bigger than any of the buildings surrounding it. I knew Logan was rich; but seeing this, a building with his name on it, really made it sink in. The lobby was a hive of activity, people milling around everywhere. How was I even going to get to Logan? I didn’t know what floor he was on; and even if I did, would they let me through to see him?

I walked to the directory, next to the elevator banks, and looked for his name. I scanned the entire list, but I didn’t see it or an Administrative Office. Well, crap, this threw a wrench into my plans.

I found a seat in the lobby and tried to figure out what my next move should be. That’s when I saw him walking through the lobby, toward the elevators, with a group of men. God, he looked sexy as hell in a suit. Just as good as I remembered. My pulse sped up. I wanted to either cry or throw up. My nerves were going to be the death of me.

I gathered my courage and stood up as they walked past. Now or never.

“Logan?” I called to him. My voice stronger than what I felt on the inside.

He stopped and turned around, a slightly annoyed expression on his face that quickly gave way to astonishment.

“Excuse me, will you?” he said to the men with him and walked toward me.

Oh God, was this the wrong choice? Was he pissed that I was here? I waited for him, unable to move from the spot I was planted in.

“Come with me.” He took me by the arm and led me outside and into a limo that was parked on the street in front of the building.

“I shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry I bothered you.” He obviously didn’t want to be seen with me and was sending me away. My heart sank.

“Damn it, Grace,” he growled getting in behind me. “I’ve thought about you every day,” he murmured, as he pulled me onto his lap and claimed my mouth with his.

“Every day?” I was breathless. Giddy.

“Every damn day, Grace. How the hell did you even find me?” He hugged me tight against his chest, showering me with kisses.

“I saw you in
Forbes
.” I pulled back a little so I could see his face.

“Al, take us to my loft, please.” He pressed a button on the side panel.

“Right away, sir,” a voice responded.

“I thought you were a mirage yesterday,” he mumbled into my hair, holding me tight.

“So, you did see me?” My insides were turning to mush with his words.

“Of course I saw you, Kitten, I just thought I was imagining it. I’ve been thinking about nothing but you for days. I thought I was having a mental break.” He kissed my neck.

The rest of the drive was spent lost in each other, both eager to reacquaint ourselves with each other’s body.

Logan whisked me out of the car as soon as it stopped and we raced through the lobby to the elevator. He must have pushed the floor button a zillion times, willing the elevator to go faster. His keys were out in his hand and he practically dragged me down the hall to the door.

“Too many clothes, Grace, I need to feel your skin against mine,” he said, tearing at the buttons on his shirt. “Are you still on the pill?”

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

I didn’t want fast, though, I wanted to enjoy this. Being with him, again, was like drinking a cold glass of water after wandering in the desert for months. I wanted to savor it, to savor him. I untied the belt on my coat and slipped it off.

Logan watched my every movement, a carnivorous look on his face. I smirked at him as I slid the tight red dress off my shoulders. Soon, I was standing in just panties, a matching bra, and heels.

“Come here.”

I obeyed and walked to him, the lust in his eyes making me feel brazen. “Tell me what you want, Logan,” I whispered into his ear, once he had me firmly in his arms. It was the same question he had asked me, all those months ago. Those words had resonated in my soul and played over and over in my head as I held onto his memory.

“You, Grace; I need you. All of you.” His voice was thick with need.

“Then, take me.”

That was all the direction Logan needed, because he practically threw me on his bed. He got his pants and socks off in record time and descended on my body, pressing his lips to any part of me he could get at as he undressed me the rest of the way.

“Baby, I can’t wait, it’s been too long.” He panted as he rose above me.

I couldn't wait, either. I needed him.

The feeling of him inside me was almost more than I could bear; he was made for me. There was nothing quick about this reunion. He moved achingly slow, each pivot of his hips was ecstasy.

“Is this what you need?” His lips were at my neck, kissing and biting.

“Always,” I breathed, surrendering myself to the pleasure.

WE WERE LYING TOGETHER IN
my bed a while later, and she asked the question I had been dreading.

“Why didn’t you come back for me? Why didn’t you ask me to stay?” Her brown eyes were wide and vulnerable.

I sat up and raked my hand through my hair. “I knew you were going to ask me that. I always knew where you were, Grace, just like I know your last name is DeLeo and that you have three sisters—Faith, Hope, and Charity.” I stopped and looked down at her, rubbing my hand along her arm. “My feelings for you scared me. I should have stopped you from leaving that morning. I regret that I didn’t.”

Her face fell, the happiness that was there before was replaced with hurt.

I could tell she was crushed, and I didn’t know how to talk my way out of this.

“Logan, I’m at a loss, here.” She sat up, too. “You've known where to find me this whole time, but you never came for me?”

“Baby, I needed you to find me. I needed to know that you felt it, too.” I took her in my arms, smoothing her hair as I hugged her.

“We spent months apart because you were insecure?” The expression on her face tore at my heart.

“Not insecure, Grace. I’m used to women falling at my feet once they know my last name. It was so refreshing to be with you and have you like the real me, not just who I am and what goes along with it. I was terrified that things would change if you discovered who I really was, that you would be different.” I dropped my head.