Never to Keep (Accepting Fate #1) (19 page)

“Don’t. Ryan and Dad were the only people allowed to call me that.” It pissed me off when anyone else used their nickname for me.

“Your mom doesn’t call you Maddie?” he questioned.

“My mom usually calls me Emilia, which is my middle name. She wanted us to have Spanish first names, but she lost the coin toss. She only calls me Madison when I’m in trouble.”

“Remember how Ryan called you Mad E. Mad after Ethan proposed?” Olivia snorted, a reaction she usually reserved for videos of big guys with tattoos getting hit in the nuts. “That was hilarious.” She looked up at Sawyer. “He said it was the perfect stage name for her career as a rapper.”

“He never let me live down that talent show performance.” I laughed at the memory of happier times.

“I couldn’t wait to buy you stationery that said, ‘From the desk of Madison Madden’.” Her laugh trailed off on a sigh.

“Would you ladies please excuse us for a moment?” Sawyer asked Olivia and Peyton before guiding me to a bench several yards away. I looked back at my favorite girls cuddling near the rose garden.

“You were engaged to Ethan?” His voice was surprisingly angry. The man was so freaking confusing. I wished I knew what the fuck he wanted.

“For a little while, but it got to be too much pressure. Everyone constantly asked us when we were going to get married, how many kids we were going to have, where we would live…. We decided to postpone the engagement until I was done with school.” I’m not sure why I felt the need to explain.

“Why, Sawyer, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re jealous. Should I order stationery that says, ‘From the desk of Madison Ramsay’?”

Shit, apparently we hadn’t moved far enough away from Olivia and Pey, who walked over to us.

“God, no. That would be the biggest waste of money ever,” I answered. Somewhere along the way, I’d started to like Sawyer, but he was the kind of guy you play with, not the kind you marry.

“For sure,” Sawyer concurred. His words stung a little, even though he was agreeing with me.

“Mommy, I have a good idea.” Peyton tugged on the sleeve of Olivia’s t-shirt. “You can marry Mr. Ramsay. Then he could be my new daddy.”

“You want a new daddy?” Olivia asked with a mixture of worry and sadness.

“I can’t have my real daddy.” Peyton’s lip quivered, and she looked down at her feet.

“Sweetie, I know how badly you miss your daddy, but I’m not going to marry Mr. Ramsay. Your daddy was the only man I’ll ever marry. Besides, I think Mr. Ramsay has his eye on someone else.” Olivia, perceptive as ever, didn’t miss the way Sawyer stiffened. “Maybe Madison will marry Uncle Ethan, someday, and he can be your substitute daddy.”

“Okay,” Peyton conceded.

“Hey, Ethan—oops, I mean Sawyer, would you mind taking Peyton to the rec room to pick out a coloring book?” Olivia asked casually.

He grimaced, but agreed anyway. He took Peyton’s small hand in his, and she led him to the room that was kept stocked full of toys and art supplies for when kids came to visit.

“You just had to poke the bear, didn’t you?” I shook my head and chuckled when I was absolutely sure they were out of earshot.

“Of course, I did. Dude has issues. Please, tell me he makes up for that attitude with his skills in the sack.” My faced warmed, and I couldn’t stop myself from looking away. “Good. At least he has that going for him.” She reached into the front pocket of her jeans and pulled out a piece of paper. “Here’s some money for the electric bill.” She handed me a folded check. “I’ll try to come up with more.”

“This should be enough to catch up.” I did some quick mental calculations. “I might also be able to get Peyton new shoes.”

“Were you ever going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”

My eyes widened and snapped to meet hers. “How did you know?” I hoped it wasn’t that obvious to everyone.

“I’ve known you forever, remember? I could tell just by looking at you that something had changed, and you just confirmed my suspicion.” She grinned. “Is he the father?” She tilted her head in Sawyer’s general direction.

I barely nodded, not willing to admit it out loud. “Don’t say anything. I haven’t told him yet.”

“You should tell him before you start to look like you’re shoplifting a basketball.” I caught her eye and motioned toward Sawyer and Peyton walking down the path.

“Don’t tell anyone. The doctor at the hospital confirmed it for me when I had my bruises looked at the other night. No one knows, not even Ethan.”

She took my hand and gave it a squeeze. “Everything will turn out perfectly,” she said quietly when Sawyer and Peyton were close. I wish I shared her confidence.

Madison

I found myself back in the hospital late Monday morning; however, this time I was happy to be there. “Hold completely still.” Dr. Parsons had a laser-like focus as she slid the second incredibly long needle into my back. The immediate relief from the pain in my chest was incredible.

“All done,” she announced a few minutes later. “How do you feel?” she asked as she helped me sit up on the bed.

“Amazing. It feels almost normal.” I was ready to jump up and down for joy.

“The local anesthetic will wear off in a couple of hours, and some of the pain will come back for a few days until the injected anesthetic takes full effect. Although the medication is safe for the baby, I didn’t give you as much as I normally would. I’m hopeful the pain relief will last two or three weeks. By then your ribs should heal enough for the pain to be manageable with over-the-counter medication.” She paused to make a few notes in my chart. “You need to take it easy. No heavy lifting, no driving, and no rigorous activity for the next twenty-four hours. You can start driving again tomorrow afternoon if you feel up to it.”

“Thank you so much. I can’t begin to tell you what this means to me.”

“I want you to rest as much as possible this week to give your body time to heal. I’ll sign a release for you to come back to work in the ER next week as long as you promise to avoid heavy lifting until your shoulder is completely healed.”

“No problem, thanks again.” I would have to think of a way to repay her. I’d have to figure out a way to properly thank Ethan also.

Ethan had come to my rescue once again. He called Dr. Parsons, the hospital’s pain management specialist, first thing Monday morning and told her my story. She was only too happy to donate her time, claiming to need to practice a new technique. As soon as the hospital’s administration offices opened, he went to the director of the foundation and got them to agree to cover all of the other expenses.

I left the procedure room and found Ethan waiting patiently for me in the hallway.

“How did it go? Are you okay?” He was always so worried about me.

“Dr. Parsons said everything went perfectly.” I repeated her instructions to Ethan, who hung on every word I said.

“I’m so glad everything worked out. I’ve got an hour before I have to be on duty. Let’s grab lunch and then drop you off at home.” He laced his fingers through mine and started the long walk toward the front of the building.

“Did Ramsay tell you I came by to check on you Saturday evening?” Ethan had to chew the words to get them out.

“No, he didn’t mention it.”

“Why was he alone with Peyton at your house?” he hissed.

“He stayed after he brought us home. He watched her, so I could take a nap.”

“I don’t like it. It’s my job to take care of you two, not his.”

“It’s
my
job to take care of Peyton and me, not yours. I’ll decide who helps and who doesn’t.”

“Fine, just don’t expect me to come around when he’s there.” I expected nothing less from him. “Why didn’t you tell me you have health insurance?” he asked. Talk about a non sequitur.

“Um, because I don’t. You know that.”

“The billing department got a fax while you were being prepped for the procedure. Apparently you have insurance with the highest rated company in the nation. You also have the best policy they offer. Peyton does, too.”

“There has to be a mistake.” I couldn’t afford the lowest level of insurance even if it was on clearance.

“I called them myself. Someone prepaid the premiums for an entire year. They wouldn’t tell me who.” His teeth were grinding. Even though it should have been good news, he was not happy about it.

“I don’t know who did it or why.” I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I had more pressing things in my life to worry about.

“I’m glad Dr. Parsons and the hospital will get paid for helping me. You’re still my hero, no matter what. I wouldn’t have even known about the procedure if not for you.” I lifted myself up on my toes and leaned in to plant a kiss on his cheek. He turned his head at the last minute, causing me to miss my intended target and hit his lips instead. Ethan seemed to think he was battling Sawyer for my affections. He didn’t realize that Sawyer probably wouldn’t put up much resistance. He also didn’t realize he’d already lost anyway.

*

“Pizza time!” Peyton called out as soon as she walked through the door. She loved pizza, and it was an extremely rare treat due to our budget constraints.

I walked to the front room and took the two huge boxes from Sawyer. “Thank you so much. You didn’t have to do this.”

He leaned in and placed a peck on my cheek like a husband coming home to his wife after a long day at the office. “You need to take it easy. Besides, Peyton told me that Pizza King makes the best pizza in the
whole wide world
.” He did a cute imitation of Peyton’s excitement as he spoke. “She even wrote a poem titled ‘Ode to the King’ for language arts today. I find it hard to believe that the best pizza in the
whole wide world
comes from Indiana, so I needed to try it for myself.”

The tantalizing aroma was more than I could bear. “Peyton, will you please go implement the PK configuration?”

“Yay! Kitchen or dining room?” she asked. It was a very important variable in the table setup process.

“Kitchen,” I decided. It was easier to clean up afterwards. Peyton ran to the kitchen to get started on our family tradition. Ryan had come up with the special table setting for pizza night when we were kids, and we’d kept it up ever since.

“Do I want to know what the PK configuration is?” Sawyer asked with a crooked grin.

“You’ll see. Peyton’s an expert, been doing it her whole life. It’s been a while, so I hope she isn’t rusty.”

“How long is a while?”

“A couple of months. Ethan brought it over for her birthday dinner, but it wasn’t nearly this much.” I think I actually drooled a little bit.

“In exchange for bringing massive amounts of pizza, I expect to be treated to a show.” His expression was dead serious.

Really? He wanted me to dance for him, bruises and all, in exchange for a hot meal? I would’ve refused if it hadn’t been totally worth it. “What kind of show do you have in mind?”

“I want to witness the legendary Miller appetite in action. I don’t believe you can eat more than a teenage boy. There’s no way you can eat more than me.”

Challenge accepted. “What kind did you get?”

“Does it make a difference?”

“Not at all, everything from there is fantastic.”

“I let Peyton choose. She asked for one with everything for you and one with peperoni for her. She said I should get a third pizza for me, but I didn’t think that would be necessary, since I got the biggest ones.”

Ha! He was going to be hungry tonight. “Don’t worry; I have their number on speed dial. We can order another one later.”

*

“I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t seen it with my own two eyes,” Sawyer said after losing the pizza eating contest by a landslide. I shoved the last of the square pieces in my mouth, even though I was about to burst and prayed I wouldn’t be seeing it again later.

“Told you so.” I leaned over and gave Peyton a high-five. She had also kicked his ass.

“I can’t move,” she said. I had no problem believing her.

“Need me to carry you over to the couch?” Sawyer offered. She grinned as he scooped her up and carried her into the other room. He came back right away. “Do you need a lift, too?”