New Beginnings (38 page)

The following Monday, while I was enjoying breakfast with Xavier, my cell phone went off. It’s Renatta.

“Ella! Thank God you answered,” she said before I could even mutter a hello. She sounded panicked.

“What’s wrong?” I demanded. Xavier paused with his mug suspended close to his mouth and frowned at me.

“Devlin can’t make it in today. He has food poisoning. I have the Mateson’s coming in this afternoon, and he hasn’t finished editing the pictures from their wedding yet. Please, please, please tell me that you can help me this morning,” she begged shamelessly.

I looked to Xavier and rolled my eyes at him. He shook his head and visibly relaxed. “Yes, of course I can come and help you.”

“You are literally saving my life! I owe you,” she said, sounding truly grateful.

“Yeah, you do. How about lunch on you? Just feed this pregnant lady and we’ll call it even,” I said.

“You got it,” she said laughing.

“I’ll see you in about thirty minutes.” I placed my phone back on the counter.

“Renatta’s in need of help again?” Xavier asked.

“Yup.” I walked around the breakfast bar and deposited my dishes in the sink. “I’ve got to run. Do you want me to call Marissa?” I asked, making my way over to him.

“That won’t be necessary,” he said, holding his arms out to me. “Just drop me a text when you get there.”

I stepped between his legs and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Will do.” I pulled his mouth down to mine for a quick kiss goodbye all the while inhaling his intoxicating scent. Before I stepped away, his right hand drifted around my waist and lightly caressed my baby bump. I placed both hands around his and gave his hand a gentle squeeze before I turned to head for the elevator.

By the time I got to Renatta’s studio, the poor woman was in a complete frenzy. She had a mom and her newborn due to arrive in less than thirty minutes for a portrait session that she was still setting up for. Following, a newly engaged couple was due in for their first portraits together, and then a local businessman for headshots. All required different set ups that Devlin usually prepped beforehand.

It took several minutes to calm her down plus a trip to the local Starbucks for her favorite iced coffee.

“Thanks again, Ella. You are a lifesaver,” she said gratefully between sips of her iced coffee.

“Have you considered the possibility of hiring more help? I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to be available to you,” I said, gesturing to my growing belly.

“I just completed an ad for The Times not only for a part-time assistant, but for a receptionist.” Leaning towards me, she rubbed her hand in big circles over my stomach like I was some kind of Buddha doll. “How much longer?”

“I’m quickly approaching twenty weeks. The doctor said I would probably have to be on bed rest soon. At my last appointment, we discussed my options concerning the birth. Well, it’s more like Xavier and the doctor discussed it. She recommended a C-section because I’m so small. Once she started spewing the possible complications of trying to have a vaginal birth for someone like me, Xavier paled and immediately insisted on the C-section,” I said, sounding frustrated even to my own ears.

Renatta squeezed my shoulder. “He only does it because he loves you and those babies so much,” she said reassuringly.

“I know.” I sighed. Just then, the door opened and the mom and newborn strolled in. “Go. Do your thing.” I smiled at her, as I got busy at the computer editing wedding photos.

Minutes later, my phone vibrated on the desk beside me. It was a text from Xavier. I smiled for a moment until I remembered I had forgotten to text him when I arrived like he had asked. I hesitated for a moment knowing he had to be pretty pissed off right about now.

Please tell me the building was on fire when you got there and that’s why I haven’t heard from you yet.

Shit.

I’m sorry. Renatta was in complete meltdown mode when I got here. It took me a while and one trip to Starbucks to calm her down. Everything is fine now.

His response was almost immediate.

I’m glad to hear it. I’m here if you need me. XO

I quickly responded with my own hugs and kisses and dived back into editing.

A couple hours later, Renatta approached me. “How’s it going?” she asked.

“Almost done. You’ve got some really beautiful shots here.”

“Are you hungry yet?”

“I’m pregnant, Ren. I’m in a perpetual state of hunger,” I said jokingly.

She laughed in response. “There’s a bar and grill here in the market that has great salads and sandwiches. You feel like going for a walk?”

“Sure,” I said, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen. “What do you want?”

“I’ll take the Caesar salad with chicken,” she said, reaching into her bag for her wallet. “And whatever you want.” She tossed two twenties on the desk.

I stuck the note and bills in my wallet. “I’ll be right back,” I said, walking towards the door.

“Thanks again, El. You are such a-”

“Lifesaver? I know.” I smirked at her.

I squinted as I stepped out onto the sidewalk making my way down the street. It was a rare sunny day in Seattle. The beautiful blue sky didn’t have a cloud in it. I was willing to bet there was going to be a gorgeous sunset this evening. I should grab my camera when Xavier gets home and have him run me down to the pier. Maybe we could have dinner there and walk around for a bit as well.

“Ella!” A familiar male voice called from behind me stopping me dead in my tracks. “Ella, please.”

I turned around and sure enough there was Stephen standing just a few feet away. His eyes had dark circles under them, and his face looked thinner. Those prominent cheekbones of his stuck out farther than usual casting shadows down his cheeks. He appeared to have lost a significant amount of weight, not that he had any to lose to begin with. Perhaps he had been sick recently. He approached me cautiously.

“You look fantastic, El. Pregnancy really agrees with you,” he said softly. His words and his tone completely took me by surprise.

I frowned slightly at him trying to figure out what his intentions were exactly. “Thank you. I wish I could say you look well, but I’ve got to be honest, you look like hell. Have you been sick?”

“You could say that.” He frowned as he cast his eyes down to the ground.

For a split second, a shot of fear ran through me. Did he have some kind of terminal disease that was contagious? Is then when he tells me I need to get tested? “Are you here to tell me I need to get tested for whatever it is you have?”

I watched as a look of surprise flit across his face. When he realized what I was asking, his features relaxed. “No. God, no, it’s nothing like that,” he said, shaking his head at me.

“Well, I hope you’re feeling better soon. If you’ll excuse me.” I gestured over my shoulder with my thumb.

“Wait.” He reached out towards me. “I know I haven’t been the best ex, but could you spare me a few moments of your time? Please?” I frowned at him as I gripped my wallet a little tighter. “I promise I’m not going to do anything other than talk to you.”

“Okay,” I said reluctantly. We were in the middle of Pike Place Market on a busy weekday afternoon after all. What could happen? Immediately thoughts of my last encounter with him here at the market flashed through my head. Him dragging me down the alley, pushing me into an alcove, and trying to kiss me. A shudder ran through me.

“My car is right here,” he said, pointing at a fancy-looking Lexus.

I paled, shaking my head at him. “No. Why can’t we just walk around?”

“For one, you look very pregnant. Walking around with you is going to make me nervous. Second, I want to be able to talk to you, not compete with the noise around us.”

“It’s twins,” I blurted. He raised his brows at me in question. “You said I look very pregnant. It’s because I’m having twins.” My hand ran protectively over my belly.

A small smile broke out on his face. “That’s wonderful news, Ella. Congratulations,” he said, sounding a little sad. He hit a button on his key fob making the lights flash. Opening the passenger door, he motioned for me to get in.

I stood for several seconds frozen in place. Did I really want to get in a car with Stephen? Given how he has been towards me since I relocated here, no, but I had to admit that he did seem different this time for whatever reason. Could I trust him? At the moment, he wasn’t giving me any reason not to. There were no internal warnings going off in my head. Screw it. I walked toward him and climbed in.

“Thank you,” he said, sounding genuine.

He closed my door and walked around to the driver’s side. As I placed my wallet on my lap so I could buckle my seatbelt, I realized I didn’t have my phone with me. I left it on the desk thinking I wasn’t going to be gone long. Wonderful. I had no way of getting in touch with Renatta to let her know I was okay. I couldn’t even think about what would happen if Xavier were trying to get a hold of me.

“Stephen, I don’t have a lot of time. Renatta is going to be expecting me back with lunch.”

“We won’t be long,” he said, pulling out into traffic.

I ran my fingers over the fabric of my wallet as I waited for Stephen to talk. After several minutes, we were still sitting amidst an awkward silence. He continued to drive around with no particular destination in mind. Before I could say anything, he pulled into the parking lot for Myrtle Edwards Park.

“Have you been here yet?” he asked, shutting off the car.

“No,” I said, shaking my head.

“Come on. They have a walking path right along the bay. It’s beautiful.”

We exited the car and headed into the park, which was, as he said, just beautiful. The winding path ran feet from the water. There was plush, green grass on one side and big, jagged rocks along the shore on the other side. There were bike and pedestrian paths all with gorgeous views of the Olympic Mountains, Mount Rainer, and Puget Sound.

The park was busy since it was such a rare sunny day. The temperature might have been in the fifties, but it was warm in the sun even with the cool breeze coming off the water, carrying the briny smell of the ocean. Young children were running around screaming as they chased one another. There were several people, couples I noticed mostly, walking along the path. Most of the picnic benches were occupied with those enjoying their lunch on this gorgeous day. Many were out walking their dogs or riding a bike. I was somewhat relieved that he had chosen such a public place to talk.

Locating an empty bench close to the bay, he sat down and gestured for me to sit next to him. I left about two feet between us and got comfortable. We both sat and stared out over the water. It was several minutes before he spoke.

“I’m sorry, Ella. For everything,” he said somberly. Surprised, I turned to look at him, but he kept his eyes focused out on the water. “I know I’ve said a lot of hateful things to you and I’m sorry. Most of them were lies.”

“Hateful things?” I narrowed my eyes at him thinking about the things he said as he approached Xavier and me in the parking garage that one day. “It’s not just what you’ve said that has been hateful, Stephen,” I said, feeling the anger well up inside me.

“I never meant for you to find out about my affair with Lisa. I kept trying to end it with her, but I just wasn’t strong enough. I never meant to hurt you, but I was so angry after you found out and then ran off and filed for divorce. You didn’t even give me an opportunity to explain or to apologize or to break it off with Lisa. You just ran.” He paused for a moment. His lips parted so he could suck in a deep breath, which was then followed by a heavy sigh before he continued. “I kept thinking I might be able to win you back, but then I heard you were leaving for Seattle.” He let out a small, humorless laugh. “I knew I was in trouble when I saw that photo of you and Xavier from the ferry.” He looked over at me. “Did you know him before you moved out here? Is he someone Renatta introduced you to?”

“First, your affair was unforgivable. There was nothing you could have said or done that would have convinced me to stay with you.” He flinched as I spoke. “Second, I met Xavier on the plane flying out here. Not that it’s any of your business. Your reaction to our ferry photo only convinced me that I did the right thing by leaving,” I said, easily remembering that hateful email he had sent.

“It was.” He surprised me by agreeing. “The way you looked at him, I knew. It was the same way you used to look at me.” He gave me a small, sad smile.

“Unlike your affair, Stephen, I’m not going to apologize for meeting and quickly falling in love with Xavier.”

“I don’t expect you to. When I came out here and saw how serious the two of you were, I knew it was just a matter of time before you discovered I had lied about my visit to the fertility clinic.” I saw his hand reach out for mine, but he stopped and placed his hand on his own knee. “I can’t say that I didn’t want to hurt you, because I did. Not physically. It’s why the gun wasn’t loaded. I just wanted to try and get Xavier angry with you. I knew neither one of you would listen to me unless I appeared to be threatening.” He sighed and turned his full focus on me. I was shocked to see sadness and remorse in his eyes. “I thought foolishly that maybe he would leave you. I assumed you had told him that you believed you couldn’t have kids. If you turned up pregnant, I thought maybe he would accuse you of lying and trying to trap him. Obviously, that’s not how things played out.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Obviously,” I muttered. “Why did you lie to me for all those years about not being able to have children?”

“I was so afraid of losing you if you found out I couldn’t give you children. I thought if you believed the problem was with you then there was no way you would leave me. I realize I hurt you for my own selfish reasons. I lied so I wouldn’t risk losing you,” he said shamefully. “But I ended up losing you anyway,” he sadly added.

He broke eye contact with me as he focused out over the water again. Why was he doing this now? What was he trying to prove? “Why now, Stephen? Why are you apologizing like this now?” I blurted with a puzzled look on my face.