New Forever (4 page)

I slap her ass when I get out of the shower, making her roll over on the bed and glare at me.

“Bathe and get pretty for me,” I tell her, going into the living area so I can get ready in front of the full length mirror.

“You mean we’re not just gonna stay in the room tonight?”

“As much as I’d love to spoon you, nope, we’re going out.”

“Hayley,” she sighs. “I’m tired.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I wave my hands in front of me. “Being a Mom and planning a wedding is exhausting, but you’re neither a Mom or soon-to-be-bride tonight. You’re just Dee, and Dee’s best friend wants to go out for drinks.”

“Fine,” she agrees, slowly getting out of bed. “But let’s just go to the bar downstairs.”

“I can work with that.”

I unwrap the towel hugging my body and let it slip to the floor as I rummage through my suitcase for Dee’s outfit. After putting her clothes on the bed, I go back to the living room and choose mine. I settle for a dark blue, short jumpsuit that makes my long legs appear even longer. I carefully gather my hair up in a high bun and after I’m satisfied with it, I begin to work on my make up. After outlining both the top and bottom eyelids, I add blue and then cream colored eye shadow. From the corner of my eye, I see Dee come out of the bathroom.

“I picked out your outfit,” I tell her, adding mascara to my eyelashes. “It’s on the bed.”

“Holy shit, Hayley!” I hear her shout from the bedroom we’ll be sharing. “It’s gorgeous!”

She comes into the living area holding a black lacey tank top that ties in the back with a matching black skirt and pulls me into a hug.

“Don’t get all sappy on me.” I reach over and pinch her ass and she squirms out of my arms with a loud laugh. “It was supposed to be a honeymoon present, but I’ve seen your closet and your wardrobe is lacking.”

After putting on some lip gloss, I slip on my dark brown high heels and tie them to my ankles. I’m able to lie down on the couch all of five minutes before Dee announces she’s ready. How this chick gets ready so quickly and still manages to look good is completely lost on me.

Her hair is done in a quick braid that should look messy but fits Dee perfectly. With just the basic make up on and sandals, she looks au natural but perfect nonetheless.

I put my hand around her waist and rest my head on her shoulder. “Such a sexy bitch,” I sigh, reaching my hand to cup her ass again. “And she’s all mine.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Maybe,” I laugh as I lead her out the door to the elevator, “but you love me.”

“God knows why,” she huffs, but I can see the smile she tries to hide.

Once at the bar, we skim through our menu but we both already know Dee will have a cheeseburger and I’ll stick to a Philly cheesesteak with extra fries.

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” I ask Dee after I take a big sip of my wine. Maybe I should order a second one now so I don’t have to wait.

“Yeah.” She shrugs her shoulders, scanning the people in the bar. “But it’ll be good practice for my first signing in six months.”

“Those girls over there,” I say pointing at two girls seated at the bar in front of us, “look familiar. Do we know them?”

“Yeah, from Facebook. That’s Jill,” she says pointing to the girl on the left, “and that’s Kelly.”

“Let’s go say hi.” I grab her hand before she has a chance to say no. Social butterfly, she is not.

I tap Jill on the shoulder and smile when she looks back at me. “I know you,” I tell her and she narrows her eyes at me, trying to place my face. “I’m Hayley,” I offer. “And this is…”

“Dee Acosta!” Kelly yells, cutting me off before I can introduce my apparently famous friend.

Both girls jump off their stools and hug Dee, who is smiling so big you’d think they just announced her as the lottery winner. Which I guess in the literary world she pretty much has, since she’s being recognized so easily.

“Like I said.” I smile as I watch the three women talk. “I’m just some silly little peon with visions of grandeur, so I hang out with famous people.”

“And you,” Jill says, pointing at me, “are Dee’s crazy friend.”

“That’s me.” I smile. “We’re having dinner and drinks at the table over there. Why don’t you girls join us?”

“Okay,” Jill agrees. “But I have a firm no boys allowed rule.”

“Perfect. We’re having a vagina-free-for-all this weekend anyway.”

“Unless one of the models wants to sit with us.” Kelly winks and we all nod our head.

“So why no boys?” I ask, taking another sip of my wine and signaling our waitress for another.

“I caught my boyfriend sleeping with another girl this morning,” Jill tells us causally as if she were advising us of the weather.

“Oh no!” Dee gasps, much more horrified than Jill seems to be. “I’m so sorry.”

“Eh,” Jill waves her worries away. “He wasn’t much of a catch anyway. I’m just pissed because I made him soup when he said he wasn’t feeling well, and when I went to his apartment I saw him balls deep inside another girl. He didn’t see me,” she rolls her eyes, “so I left and he’s been texting me all day, trying to figure out why I’m not responding.”

Dee pats Jill’s shoulder while my mind comes up with the perfect plan, befitting of a cheating bastard.

“Do you still have the soup you made him?” I ask, smiling back at Dee and my new friends.

“Yeah.” Jill grins back at me, while Dee squeezes my arm with an almost silent squeal.

“That’s L.A. Casey!” Dee whispers excitedly in my ear.

“Go finger her,” I whisper back. “Then bring her back over here,” I say more loudly. “She can help us with our mission.”

Dee nods at me while Jill and Kelly look back at me curiously.

***

“More!” I shout over the giggles bouncing off the walls in our hotel room.

“More what?” L.A., better known as Lee, asks. “Wine?”

“Laxatives.” I pass three more tablets to Kelly for her to smash and put in the ex-douchebag’s chicken soup.

“We don’t want to kill him,” Dee warns and I roll my eyes at her.

“We’re not gonna kill him. Just give him severe diarrhea,” I declare, sending the girls into another fit of laughter.

“One more tablet,” Jill compromises, taking it from Kelly and crushing the last tablet finely before mixing it into the soup. “And… we’re done!”

“Before you go, a toast.” I make sure everyone has their wine glasses in hand. “To douchebags everywhere.”

“May they forever shit themselves,” Lee adds. 

“And think of us, the women who destroyed them, as they pray to the porcelain goddess.”

We raise our glasses and drink in celebration to our womanhood and overall superiority before we part ways for the night.

Dee was right! I think we killed him…

Still drunk, I laugh at the incoming text from Jill, but Dee nudges my ribs hard, so I try to put on my serious face.

What???

Dee replies to the group text.

Going to ER. Will keep you posted.

“We should meet her at the hospital,” Dee, always the rational one, tells me.

“Okay,” I agree, quickly sending a text to the whole group asking what hospital they’re going to so we can meet Jill there.

After a few minutes, Dee and I are in the car heading to the hospital and I can’t help the laughter bubbling up inside of me while Dee’s face remains serious. Rarely one to over indulge in alcohol, Dee’s state of sobriety is both annoying and reassuring, because lets face it, I couldn’t walk a straight line right now if my life depended on it.

“Chill, chick,” I tell her between the laughter. “We didn’t kill him.”

She narrows her eyes at me as she drives, unwilling to see the humor behind any of the diarrhea jokes I’ve made.

Once at the hospital, we run into Kelly in the lobby who, like me, is finding it difficult to keep a straight face. Which just goes to prove things can’t be that dire, especially if Jill’s good friend is laughing.

“You two are ridiculous,” Dee declares with a small smile as she hunts for Jill.

Not wanting to crowd the patient room, Kelly and I sit in the back of the waiting room while we wait for word from Dee and Jill. Time passes swiftly as we get to know each other and gossip about the drama that surrounds the indie publishing community. And believe me, there is a lot of drama. Enough to write hundreds of full length books on.

I’m just glad Dee has been able to stay away from all of it. I’d hate for us to have to go back to our crazy roots and show these chicks how we scrap at the nut farm. Not that I actually use the word scrap, or that there were very many fights, unless you count the time Dee got her ass handed to her by Samantha. Poor chick can’t fight. I probably can’t either, but I’ve never actually tested out that theory one way or another. 

From the corner of my eye I see a creepy looking man staring at us and I grab Kelly’s arm.

“We should go find Dee and Jill,” I whisper as the man stands up and starts walking in our direction.

Kelly and I quickly get up and start to make our way towards the security guard to get our visitor’s passes so we can go inside the rooms, but the man puts his hand on my arm, stopping me.

“I have chlamydia,” I blurt out.

“And crabs.” Kelly nods.

“Yeah,” I agree when the man removes his hands from my arm in disgust. “Big, hairy crabs crawling out of my clam trap.” I lean down and scratch said vagina for emphasis and high five Kelly when the man runs away.

Hayley one, creeper zero.

Without wasting anymore time, we go through security and find Dee, Jill, and a very blotchy ex-boyfriend. Unable or unwilling to suppress it, Kelly and I are overcome with the giggles once again. I mean, he looks like he did a head dive into poison oak and the sounds coming from his stomach are unnatural.

But like the mature adults that we are, we sacrifice our joy and eventually suppress our laughter while he glares at us.

“So you two must be the remaining co-conspirators,” a very handsome doctor with whitish blond hair and dark green eyes says from beside Blotchy’s bed.

“Guilty.” I raise my hands in defeat and do my best to look apologetic.

“We didn’t mean to kill him,” Jill whispers, looking at everyone but Blotchy.

“He won’t die,” the doctor chuckles, but quickly hides it with a cough. “He’ll be uncomfortable for roughly twenty-four hours, but he’ll live.”

“Unfortunately,” Kelly whispers, while Blotchy starts to scream about us trying to poison him.

“You’ve got other things to worry about,” I tell him as I sit on the foot of his bed.

“Like what?” he wants to know.

“Venereal diseases,” I reply and his eyes widen until there is nothing but two large saucers staring back at me. “You know, from your side pieces of random ass.”

“My…”

Jill bursts out laughing as Blotchy’s face reddens further and I quietly pat myself on the back. Mission accomplished.

“I saw you,” Jill says quietly from the corner of the room. She looks at us, her girls, and seems to find her strength as she walks toward his bed. “I took you soup this afternoon because you said you weren’t feeling good, and I caught you sleeping with another girl.”

“Jill-” he starts to say but she holds up her hands and shakes her head at him.

“It doesn’t matter.” She smiles and cocks an eyebrow at him. “We’re even now.”

“You girls are trouble.” The doctor shakes his head as he heads out. “But I like trouble.” He narrows his eyes at Jill and smiles a lopsided grin that leaves me wanting to remove my panties and throw them at his face. Or maybe I should forget the panties, and just throw my vagina at his face. I am after all single again. There has to be some perks to my new status.

“Well, hell,” I huff out before he can leave. “You have to have some sort of prescription for trouble.” I put my hands on my waist and wait for him to nod.

I slide my eyes towards Jill and hope I haven’t misinterpreted what I saw pass through them. If I’m right, it’d be a real kick in Blotchy’s balls and I, for one, want to witness it.

He reaches into his coat and takes out his prescription pad where he quickly scribbles something down. As he hands Jill her prescription, his hand brushes over hers and I swear I can hear her heartbeat accelerate from across the room. He licks his lips just as quickly before leaving and I squeeze my thighs tightly together as I watch his ass disappear.