New Jersey Noir (19 page)

“Tough without your old man, huh?” he’d once said to Stacy, putting his arm around him in the Taj Mahal. “Wish my kid loved me the way you love him … You know, Stacy, maybe you should go back to college. That’s what your old man wanted. He told me that more than once.”

“Really?”

“Sure, you were always on his mind. He even told me once while we were playing bridge. Your old man was one hell of a bridge player too.”

“Did you ever tell him … ?”

“About the work we do? Course not. You think I’m crazy? Your old man never suspected a thing. He was as innocent and pure as a child. I loved the guy like a brother. You let me set you up with something big—a one-time deal I’ll give to you instead of my own son, and then you go back and get your degree. Then we’ll see about your future.”

Sure enough, in less than a month he’d set him up with a killer deal. “I offered a deal like this to my son Dominic, but he thinks he’s such a big shot in Vegas now that he don’t need this no more,” Ike had said with bitterness. “Believe me, he’ll live to regret it.”

So Stacy took the deal, although he never finished college.

He was remembering all this while Rina was sleeping next to him in the motel room in Ventnor. He wouldn’t postpone visiting Ike any longer. It was simply a question of explaining it to Rina. He was sure she’d be reasonable about it.

When he finally brought it up, they’d just come back from a swim, walking to their room with arms around each other’s waists, hands sometimes tapping each other’s bottoms. The ocean always had that kind of effect on him, and on her too. Once in the room they had sex quickly—not even bothering to smoke first. He felt hot and happy and it seemed a good time to tell her (even though he was straight).

“So let me understand this,” she said, “we’re here for what, three hours, we just finished making love, and you want to go out right now and see this old guy, who was a friend of your father’s?”

“I told you about Ike, he was like a father to me after my old man died.”

“I wouldn’t say he was like a father to you. More like the Godfather. He set you up big time in the business is what you mean, and now you want to work for him again. Isn’t that what this is about? I should have known that’s why you wanted to go to A.C.”

“You’re way off, Rina, that’s not it at all.”

“Oh, so you wanted to come here to make me happy, making me come back to where I was at the lowest point in my life. You can’t even bear to hear what happened to me in A.C., can you? Not even to this day.”

He turned away from her and looked at a sliver of the sky barely visible through the blinds. How could a sky be both blank and blue? He hated it when she was sarcastic and bitter. “You can tell me,” he said, hoping she wouldn’t. “Really, you can tell me.”

“Forget it,” she shot back in her tough-girl voice, though when he turned back to look at her again her eyes were moist. “I’m not making that mistake again. I don’t need to tell you any of that shit ’cause I know it hurts you.”

“Well, I didn’t bring you here to hurt you, either. You seemed like you wanted to come more than you didn’t. And I wasn’t even thinking about Ike when I suggested it, I swear. About your past, I guess I just blocked it out. I’m sorry.”

“What were you really thinking about wanting to go to Atlantic City?” (She said the name of the place as if it were Afghanistan or North Korea.)

“Well, number one, it’s an obvious place to go to for fun—not for you maybe, I understand, but in general—and second, I was thinking of my father and my family. We went to A.C. a lot when I was a kid. Those were good times for me, that’s all.”

He briefly considered telling her how his father used to hold his hand in the water but decided not to.

“So you never thought of Ike at all?”

“I thought of him later. When you said you’d rather go to Ventnor or someplace like it, I remembered then that he lived there now.”

“And that’s when you decided you had to see him?”

“Yeah, it grew on me. I miss him, that’s all. It’s not about dealing.”

“So why’s he like you so much?”

“I don’t know. He has problems with his own son. His son’s about the only person in the business who had trouble working with him.”

“But you said you were staying out of it. You said you were gonna get a real job or else finish school or both. You’ve said a lot of things to me.”

“Said it and meant it. Look, why don’t you come with me to see him? See for yourself. It’s just about friendship, that’s all. But friendship’s a lot.”

“No, I’m not gonna rain on your parade.”

“Are you kidding? I want you to come. I’m proud of you. I wanna show you off, okay? I want you to get to know Ike. He doesn’t need me to push his merchandise. Believe me, the guy has a fleet of workers and behind them a fleet of wannabe workers.”

“Oh geez, I’m so impressed. It’s almost like meeting Einstein, I guess.”

“Come on, you don’t have to be sarcastic. I’m sure you’ll like him. And I really want you to come with me. I mean it.”

She looked at him with a serious expression in her hazel-green eyes. It was strange. He had almost the same color eyes as her but hers expressed so many more emotions.

“I must need my head examined to stick with you.”

“What?”

“What? You’re a drug dealer. You’re gonna get busted. Just like every dealer I’ve ever known. And you’re gonna get me busted too.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I must love to have tragedies happen to me. They got a word for people like me?” she said, getting out of bed.

He stared at her body in awe. Couldn’t believe sometimes that she was his lover and knew then that he wanted her as his wife one day. But he couldn’t tell her yet. Maybe later on when they’d finally gone to Atlantic City.

“So what have you decided?” he said.

“I’m coming with you, you know that. But I gotta get ready first.”

One other thing he loved about Rina, she always looked great when they went out. Not just good but appropriate for the occasion too. It took her a lot of time but it was worth it. This time it wasn’t so bad because he hadn’t smoked, which would make the time seem longer, but had taken a ’lude he had in his pocket just to take the edge off waiting. Somehow Quaaludes and Atlantic City went together like a sunset over the ocean, he thought.

While she was primping, mostly with her hair and makeup, he found Ike’s address in his old address book. He wondered if he should call first but decided it would be more fun to surprise him. Then he wondered what he’d say if Ike wanted him to do a deal. Could he really say no to Ike? But anyway, that could wait for later. He knew Ike wouldn’t ask him in front of Rina, especially with her dressed kind of conservatively in a light pink dress and her brand-new beach shoes that she bought back in Fort Lee. She was a classy woman and Ike appreciated class. He was lucky, unimaginably lucky, to have Rina as his girl, he knew that. So what if she’d had to hook for a while years ago? The woman had been handed a nightmare life right from the start, her own father doing her when she was only twelve.

“How do I look?” she asked, emerging from the bathroom with a big smile.

“Like heaven.”

“Now you’re the one who’s not talking,” she said to him in the car.

They were less than a mile from Ike’s house and he was thinking how nice her perfume smelled and how nice it would be to smell her when they made love later and then, for a moment, wondering why he was visiting a criminal like Ike, however benevolent his personality might be.

“You feeling nervous about seeing him?”

He shrugged. “A little.”

“Go ahead, have a hit. I’ll have one too. It won’t kill us.”

“You mean that?”

“Yah, of course. I ain’t a cop. Pull over into that alleyway by the Italian restaurant. We can do it there.”

They took their emergency traveling joint from the glove compartment, lit up, and each took two hits.

“It’s hard to stop, isn’t it?” he said. “When the pot’s so good.”

“We can do the rest later, after we see Ike,” she said, suddenly looking sad.

“What’s the matter baby?”

“You know, it isn’t easy for me even being near Atlantic City. You know why I went there in the first place, don’t you? I told you about my father.”

“Yah, of course you told me.”

“I mean, why’d he have to fuck me, huh? What kind of guy does that to his own daughter when I wasn’t even thirteen yet? He was already getting plenty of women on the side, you know, what’d he need me for?”

“Try not to go down that road, okay?” he said. “The pot will only make it worse.”

“I just feel nervous lately, anxious, like something very bad’s gonna happen. Do you understand? Like I’m gonna die soon, or something. Do you know what I mean? Maybe it’s just because we’re so close to A.C.”

He knew exactly what she meant. Lately, a lot of the time when he was straight he felt like he was going to die soon too, a feeling only the right drugs could take away, but he didn’t want to tell her that. “Kind of,” he said.

“I wish we were back in bed in Fort Lee doing it together. That’s what I wish.”

“We can drive back right after we see Ike. I’d like that too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really,” he said, although he still wanted to see the beach, if only for a few minutes, where he once swam with his father. Maybe he could go there alone for ten minutes while she stayed in the car or else while she was in the motel in Ventnor packing (if they really were going to leave right away), though he wished somehow they could go there together.

“I like that all the time,” he added to reassure her, “being in bed with you. Even in my grave I’ll want it with you.”

“No kidding?”

“No question about it.”

“So you’re not thinking of ditching me here and taking up with some loose bimbo you meet in a casino?”

“No way, course not. It’s just you I want, always.”

“That’s not the pot talking, is it? You don’t just love me when you’re on drugs, do you?”

“Course not. I love you all the time. So, you feeling better now?”

“Yeah,” Rina said, taking his hand and squeezing it.

“Okay, we’re only a block from Ike’s. I think we should go see him now, okay?”

“Sure,” she said. “I’m ready.”

He noticed the tight, smallish white beach houses of Ventnor were suddenly sparkling. He felt blissed out. He looked at her and thought she was feeling the same thing.

“What are you feeling?” he said to her when they were two houses from Ike’s. There was a strong breeze blowing in from the sea and it moved her hair in an attractive way.

“Like my problems are a million miles away.”

He gave her hand another squeeze. “Me too.”

Then they started to walk up the steps to Ike’s house, the largest one on a block where a number of low- to mid-level Mafia reputedly owned homes.

He rang the bell, hoping he wasn’t too stoned, but still glad that he’d smoked. He waited, then rang a second and third time. It probably took Ike longer to get around now that he was in his early seventies. Stacy continued to wait until he felt a pair of eyes staring at him through the peephole. An unfamiliar voice said, “Who is it?”

He felt then that he’d made a mistake and should excuse himself and leave. Instead, he said, “I came to see Ike. It’s Stacy.”

A few seconds later the door opened. The man who let them in was huge, both taller than Stacy by three or four inches and heavier by fifty to seventy pounds. He was wearing a loose T-shirt that said
Hell Busters
on it, loose light blue, low-slung jeans, black boots, and lots of tattoos on his arms and neck, making Stacy think he might be Ike’s bodyguard.

“Hey,” Stacy said. “This is Rina.”

Rina nodded and said a soft hello. There was something birdlike and sad in the little sound she produced.

“I’m Dom,” he said, without extending his hand. “Ike ain’t here. Wanna beer?”

“Sure,” Stacy said.

“You too?” Dom asked.

“Yes, thanks,” Rina said, a little nervously.

Dom left the room and came back with the drinks, walking in a herky-jerky halting kind of way. Neither Stacy nor Rina felt they could risk looking at each other so both stared straight ahead.

“Sit down,” Dom said, pointing to the generic-looking couch in the living room. “Take a load off.” They sat down on the couch, Dom on a straight-back chair facing them. While they made small talk about the weather Stacy strained to see something that would remind him of Ike but couldn’t. The furniture was much cheaper and more ordinary than Ike’s would be. Ike was a man who liked nice things.

“Want another?” Dom asked.

“No thanks,” they replied in unison. Stacy couldn’t help staring at Dom’s tough, inscrutable face—a collage of scars, wrinkles, and stubble. He was definitely on some drug but Stacy couldn’t tell which. “So you have any idea when Ike will be back?”

“He’s not coming back. Ike’s gone forever, I’d say, wherever
forever
is.”

“That’s too bad. I’m an old friend of his and I just thought I’d drop by.”

“Yeah, I know who you are,” Dom said, in a voice both matter-of-fact and sullen.

Stacy looked harder at him, but there was a blurred haphazard quality to Dom’s face as if it had run away from itself.

“You don’t remember me, do you?” Dom said.

“I feel embarrassed but I can’t say—”

“I’m Ike’s kid, remember now?”

“Sure, he talked about you a lot.”

“I’ll bet he did. Ike’s not here though. I run things now.”

“Oh, I didn’t come about business.”

“Really? You sure about that? I remember you were very interested in business. I remember you muscling me out of a number of deals. Yeah, you wanted to get my territory in Atlantic City, and goddamn it if my old man didn’t give it to you.”

“That was so long ago.”

“Was it? I remember it real well and I ain’t even gone to college like you did. See how much I know about you? I have an excellent memory.”

Stacy shrugged reflexively. “Well, I’m not in the business now. Anyway,” he said, looking at Rina, “I think we should get going now. Thanks for the beers.”

“Really? I think you’re still trying to give me the business is what I think,” Dom said, putting down his empty beer can with emphasis, next to the three other empty cans on the little white Formica table beside him. Stacy stared hard at him as Dom slowly withdrew a gun that his T-shirt had previously hidden. “I was wondering when I’d see you again, college boy. I was thinking of visiting you, but I couldn’t find you. You must have been working on something big you wanted to keep secret from me and Ike, but now presto/chango you’ve come right to me.”