New Species 09 Shadow (25 page)

Brass chuckled. “Bestial might have had something to do with that. He went into the cells with Tim to persuade them to be agreeable. Tim is good at intimidation but not as convincing as an enraged Species male. They tend to believe we’ll eat them alive.”

“True.” Justice hesitated. “We also have a lead on who might be behind the drug given to Moon but they were unsure of exactly how Miller acquired it. We’ll know more once the human is caught.”

Anger filled Shadow. “We don’t have authority to go to Afghanistan.”

“Lucky for us, we know someone already there.” Justice held his gaze. “Jessie has a brother who works for a private security firm that protects American workers. I made a call. He was sympathetic and is assembling a team. It will take some time but Jake will capture Douglas Miller and have him returned to the States. They will hand the bastard over to us just as soon as they are able.”

“I want to be there.” Shadow wanted to personally kill Beauty’s abuser.

“No.” Justice shook his head. “We need him alive. He has to tell us exactly what was done to Moon and tell us where he got the drug.”

“He abused a Gift Female.” Shadow wasn’t about to let it go. He wouldn’t rest until the bastard was no longer a threat to Beauty. “He sent mercenaries into Reservation after her. He’s too dangerous to be allowed to live.”

“He’ll suffer for his crimes but death is not the answer,” Justice growled. “Calm now. The Gift isn’t the only victim he’s harmed. Species were hurt when that team attacked Reservation and Moon is still feral. The drug hasn’t worn off. Every hour that passes harms him more. The doctors and specialists we’ve called in agree on that. They are frantically trying to identify the drug but so far haven’t been able to. None of the treatments are working to calm and return him to his natural state.”

It ate at Shadow’s gut to leave Douglas Miller alive. He didn’t deserve to breathe for what he’d done to Beauty. He’d kept her locked up in chains and forced his body into hers. The more he thought about it, the more enraged he became.

“Easy,” Brass ordered, watching him with concern. “We understand but death is too swift. She suffered endlessly. Why shouldn’t every day he takes breath be hellish? Do you understand? Justice’s mate’s brother will find Douglas Miller. It could take some weeks since it’s pretty bad over there but he will get him. I met Jake when he visited to meet Justice. He’s a tough human with predatory traits. He would fit in with the task force if he wished. You’d like him.”

“I don’t care if I’d like him or not. It’s my right to seek revenge for Beauty.”

Brass’ eyebrows rose. “I see.”

“She’s mine,” he snarled, still furious. “He forced her to submit to sex and hurt her. He named her Mud.” His rage built. “Kept her from sunshine and exposed her to vile humans who threatened her with harm. I don’t want him to suffer. I want him really to be in hell after I take his life.”

Brass slowly stood. “You’ve deeply bonded to her.”

“Yes.” Shadow wouldn’t deny it.

“So fast?” Brass looked skeptical.

“It doesn’t take long,” Justice mused. “Trust me on that, my friend. I spent a few hours with Jessie and she was deeply embedded under my skin.”

Slade grunted. “Or a few minutes. I woke in a hospital after I was freed from Mercile with this angel leaning over my bed. I had her pinned under me in seconds, ready to claim her as mine. I wanted her immediately and I will never stop wanting Trisha. She’s my mate. The attraction was so strong. I almost lost her later though because I didn’t realize she was the same woman when we met again.”

Shadow gaped at him.

“She’d dyed her hair another color and I was pretty drugged at the time. My memories of her were affected.” Slade grinned. “I knew my attraction was unusually strong when I met that mouthy little doctor. I just didn’t put it together until she admitted who she was.”

Shadow pushed the plate away, his appetite gone. “I need to do something.”

“Be with your female,” Justice gently urged. “Trust me on this. That’s the only cure for the rage you feel. Help her heal from the damage done by showing her all the things she missed while in captivity.”

Shadow considered it. He looked at Brass. “Tim wants me to return to the team. I’m needed there but Beauty couldn’t live at headquarters. I can’t go back to working with the task force.”

Brass appeared shocked. “You are implying she’d want to live with you. Are you talking about mating with her? How does she feel about that?”

“We need to talk about it still.” His chest tightened at the prospect of her refusing to accept him on a permanent level. “She admitted I’m the only male she wants. We agreed on not sharing sex with others.”

“Ellie and I have discussed Gifts at length. They are different from our other females who tend to reject settling down with one male,” Fury stated quietly. “They learned to protect themselves against bonding with males to avoid being emotionally crippled when they were taken to different ones for the breeding experiments. But Gifts spent most of their time alone with no bonds at all. They didn’t have an opportunity to form any since only their abusers had access to them. It’s possible she might welcome being mated to a male.” He silently regarded Shadow. “You’re the first one a Gift has wanted to interact with. She must feel strongly for you.”

“Did you share sex with her?” Slade arched an eyebrow.

“I don’t feel comfortable discussing this.”

“It’s relevant and they did share sex,” Justice announced. “Breeze confirmed that privately before I brought everyone into the conference call with her. Breeze stated Beauty handled the experience in a positive light.”

Shadow hated the way everyone smiled at him. “Enough.” It embarrassed him slightly.

“I guess your fears were unwarranted,” Brass teased.

“I won’t discuss it.”

“Do you want to mate her?” Justice crossed his arms over his chest.

“I plan to discuss it with Beauty. I want to.” He took a deep breath. “We’d need housing away from the dorms. I’d want to live next to Wrath and Lauren.”

“Agreed.” Justice picked up his pen.

“I’d like papers drawn up.”

Justice looked up from his notes to stare at Shadow. “We only have them for humans. It’s a legal issue with their rights and to protect them by officially making them Species.”

“Mates have papers.” Shadow refused to back down. “I want it official if Beauty agrees. She deserves to know I’m serious.”

“We could come up with something,” Fury intervened. He smiled at Justice. “Couldn’t we? Ellie has our papers framed in our bedroom.”

Justice grinned back. “We could do that. Jessie hung ours in the office at home.”

“As soon as Beauty is out of danger, I plan to ask.” Shadow reached for the pizza. He should eat.

“Why wait?” Slade paused. “There’s nothing you can do right now. You aren’t returning to the task force since a Gift shouldn’t live at headquarters. There’re too many human males and you’d never want to leave her unprotected around them. It’s hard to work if you refuse to leave your quarters. Douglas Miller will be caught but you won’t be a part of it. Your priority is Beauty.”

“I know she is.” He still wanted to argue the future of Beauty’s abuser but it was clear the matter had already been settled. He wouldn’t be allowed to kill the bastard. It didn’t sit well with him but he’d learned to take orders. “There’s the matter of the team member who activated my emergency transponder and gave those coordinates to the mercenaries to track Beauty’s location. Tim promised to allow me access to him.”

The males glanced at each other. Justice spoke first. “Tim shouldn’t have done that but we know who did it. It was Chad, the one who runs communications for the team. He was having money problems after a divorce and that’s how they got to him. You aren’t allowed to kill him but let’s just say I wouldn’t punish you if your fists
accidentally
made some contact with his body a few times. I have a mate and I wouldn’t begrudge you a little payback. Just don’t cripple him for life. He’ll spend the rest of his as a guest at Fuller. We don’t kill our enemies when we don’t have to. We’re better than them.”

Shadow considered those words. They might make sense but he’d still sleep better at night knowing Beauty’s abuser was dead. He’d also have to settle for Justice’s offer of only hurting the team member who’d risked Beauty’s life. It didn’t mean he had to like it though.

Chapter Twenty-One

Beauty had just stepped out of the shower when the doorbell rang. She frowned, wrapping a towel around her body, and entered the bedroom. It was just after eleven at night. Had Kit forgotten something? The woman had not only stuck around to share pizza but had been downright friendly. They’d talked for hours.

She hurried into the living room but paused by the door. “Who is it?”

“It’s me.”

Surprise and excitement struck at hearing that sexy, deep voice. She twisted the locks, opening the door to face Shadow. He had changed into his work uniform since she’d last seen him and he looked a little tired around the eyes as she stared into them.

“You’re back. How did you get inside the dorm?”

“A group of the females were downstairs watching a movie. They opened the door.” He cleared his throat. “It’s no secret that we are seeing each other.”

She backed up. “Come in.”

He hesitated. “I want to spend the night,” he clarified. “Is that okay?”

“Yes.” She was glad he hadn’t been gone for days and that she wouldn’t have to sleep without him. The experience of being in his arms was addictive and something she no longer wanted to do without. “Always.”

He moved to the side and lifted a bag and carried it in. It was big and looked heavy. She wondered what was inside it. He dropped the thing a few feet inside the room and closed the door behind him, twisting the locks. His gaze held hers.

“I wanted to be here sooner but I had arrangements to make.”

“What is in the bag?”

He shifted his stance, his expression unreadable. “My belongings.”

“That’s bigger than the bag you took to Homeland.”

“It contains everything I own. I packed up my quarters tonight.”

The stabbing sensation to her heart was pure agony. She spun away to hide the tears that refused to be denied. They burned behind her closed eyelids, a few of them escaping down her cheeks. Shadow would only do that if he’d decided to return to the task force. He’d leave Homeland in the morning and she wouldn’t be able to see him except when he visited.

Maybe he believed she could be happy with occasional nights or weekends spent together when he could return to Homeland for work breaks. She could even understand his logic. Species women wanted their space but she wanted to scream that she wasn’t like them. All the ways she’d been singled out as Gift suddenly mocked her. She’d resented the special concessions, had wanted the distinction removed, and Shadow had listened. He was willing to treat her as any other Species.

Careful for what you wish for
, an inner voice mocked.

“Beauty?” He stood directly behind her. “What is wrong? Look at me.”

She hesitated, trying to get her emotions under control.

“Beauty?”

She opened her eyes and rapidly blinked back tears, turning to face him. It was time to be totally honest. There was nothing to lose if he already planned to leave. She could just be blunt and hope he’d reconsider his current path.

“Why are you crying? Did something happen while I was gone? Did that female upset you? I saw her come inside as I left.”

“Kit was unusually nice today. She didn’t do anything wrong.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t want you to leave Homeland to return to the task force. I’ll hardly see you. I know I should be grateful for having you in my life at all after spending so much time alone but I want more than that. I appreciate you seeing me the same way you do the other women but I’m different.” Her shoulders straightened and she held his gaze. “I deserve more than a man who is barely around. I want it all, Shadow.”

He seemed stunned.

“You know, a real relationship. I want someone who comes home to me every day and spends their nights with me. I want to cook you dinner and snuggle on the couch while we watch shows. I’m not even sure if we’d enjoy the same ones but we’d be together. I want to get to know everything about you, even the bad stuff I might find annoying. It won’t matter because I’m willing to accept you for who you are, all of it, but I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

His lips parted but nothing came out.

She cleared her throat. “I want a true commitment.” It made her feel a little dizzy to admit that but it was just nerves. The worst he could do was walk out. “Not just someone in my life when they can fit me into their busy schedule. I realize it’s a lot to ask. You would have to remain here instead of enjoying the more exciting adventures you must have with the task force. It’s also more dangerous working for them. You deal with the kind of men who came after me. They are bad and dangerous. That can’t be good for you to see that every day. We’re free now and should embrace the good things life has to offer. Maybe you enjoy the work but you enjoy sex too. Your team can’t give you that but I can.” Her hands gripped her hips. “I can’t compare work stories with you since I’m not permitted to hold a job as a Gift because it would put me in contact with too many men but I could give you a good home you would enjoy living in. I will worry about you while you’re doing your job. It matters to me what happens to you and while they may be your friends on the task force, what I feel is stronger. I’m sure of that.”

“Beauty… I—”

His features softened. He probably felt sorry for her. She refused to give up and cut him off. He couldn’t just walk away.

“I know we didn’t have much time together but I’m offering you all that I am. You can’t just ignore that, Shadow. You owe it to both of us to see where we lead. I think we could be happy. I know I want us to be. We’re both damaged but that makes us more suitable. There’s something special between us, something strong, and it’s not just sex.”

“I—”

“Don’t tell me you won’t at least consider what I’m offering. You have to stay at Homeland to get to know me better.” She took a shaky breath. “I won’t beg but I won’t be a doormat either. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t leave me here to go have a life but expect me to wait around for you as if I don’t have one.”

He lunged and jerked her against his body. “Do you ever allow a male to speak?”

She gripped his biceps through the material of his shirt, wishing for skin. “I don’t want you to say something I can’t stand to hear.”

He softly growled as one of his arms released her waist and he reached for something inside his back pocket. He held up a crisp, folded sheet of paper. “Do you know what this is?”

“No. Your orders to return to the task force?” It was her best guess.

He shook his head and then released her completely. He lowered to his knees in front of her. He licked his lips, his features tense. “Mate papers. I had it drawn up. We just need to sign it. It’s just one paper actually but it’s a less involved process to bind us together than the ones involving humans. The outside world holds no claim on us that they might ever try to sever.”

Her legs turned rubbery and she ended up on her knees in front of him.

“I packed up my belongings because there wasn’t a reason to keep a room at the men’s dorm. I want to be with you and you’re here.” He cleared his throat, staring deeply into her eyes. “I came to ask you to be my mate and tell you that if you agree, housing is being made available to us soon. We can have a house next to my best friend and his mate. She’s nice and I think she would be a good friend.” He took a deep breath. “I’m offering you everything too, love. Me. I don’t want adventure or to leave Homeland. You aren’t there and I just want to be with you.”

“Yes.” She nodded frantically, blinking back tears again.

“We are both damaged.” Shadow suddenly grinned. “I wouldn’t have it any other way if it means I get you.”

“You’ve got me.” She held out her hand. “Let’s sign them. Is that all we need to do?”

He grinned. “We should also have a lot of sex to celebrate afterward.”

She managed to rise to her feet and dropped the towel. Shadow’s gaze lowered, halting on her breasts. Sexual hunger sharpened his features and the soft growl of approval from him turned her on.

“Why wait? I want you now.” She smiled. “But there is one thing I want to do.”

He pulled his focus away from her body. “Name it. It’s yours.”

“Take off your uniform first.”

He put the paper on her coffee table and bent to rip off his boots. She grinned at his haste. He nearly fell over sideways at one point but then righted, shoving his pants down. He really did want her. The clothes were gone, leaving one aroused man standing just feet away.

She lowered to her knees again and he bent a knee to follow. “Don’t. Stay just like that.”

He straightened and held immobile. She walked on her knees closer. “I read about this and I wanted to try it. You can stop me if you don’t like it but at least allow me to do it once.”

Beauty reached up and wrapped her fingers around his stiff shaft. He gasped at the sudden move or perhaps the implication. She licked her lips to wet them and dropped her gaze to his sex. He was beautiful all over but his cock fascinated her.

“Maybe I should sit.” His voice came out gruff and husky.

She lifted her gaze, appreciating his muscular abs, wide chest, and settled on his handsome face. “Why?”

“You have no idea what the sight of you there does to me.”

“Tell me.”

“I’ve never wanted a female more. I hurt from the need. It’s a physical pain.”

“You do the same to me.”

“You know female Species never do this, don’t you? I can’t come with your mouth around me though. I might choke you. I shoot semen hard. It would be too much.”

“I just want to play a little. Will you allow it?”

“You can do anything you want. I’m yours.”

Emotion swamped her. “I love you, Shadow. I hope you’ll learn to love me back.”

He suddenly pulled out of her grasp and reached down, gripping her under her arms. It was her turn to gasp when he lifted her, spun and stormed into her bedroom. She clung to him.

“What are you—”

When they landed on the bed it jolted her to silence. They were on their sides facing each other. His mouth was on hers, kissing the breath right out of her a split second later. One of them moaned—she wasn’t sure who—and it didn’t matter. His hot skin plastered against hers felt incredible.

He broke the kiss, panting. “You love me?” His blue gaze studied hers. “You are sure?”

“Yes.”

“Good. You’ve made me very happy. I’ve never loved before but this has to be it. You are everything I want and need. You make me complete and having you in my arms is the most right thing in my world. Every thought involves you and how to keep you close.”

“I was afraid it would scare you away if I admitted my feelings.”

“The only frightening thing would be if you refused to sign the mate papers.”

“Do you want me to do that right now? Let me go and I’ll get them.”

“Later.” His mouth brushed hers. “There’re so many things I want to do to you. I can’t decide which should come first.”

“Roll onto your back.” She splayed her fingers across his chest, pushing lightly. “You said I could play. That is on the top of my list.”

He turned, lying flat. “I’ll be a good mate.”

“I know you will and so will I. We’ll figure it out together.”

Her hand brushed along the length of his cock, enthralled when it moved, jerking slightly. There was a lot about men she didn’t know but she’d learn. It would be fun to discover everything that turned Shadow on and have him do the same to her.

“I don’t read much but I have watched a lot of videos.” Shadow smiled. “Ever hear of sixty-nine?”

“The number?”

“The position.”

“Is that a sports thing?”

“Um, no.” He licked his lips. “You want to play with me with your mouth and I want to play with you with mine. You put your knees right here.” He pointed to just above his shoulders on both sides. “Face toward the headboard. Do you understand?”

Her lips parted in shock. “You want me to spread my thighs open over your face while I’m stretched down your body to your lap?”

“Yes.” He grinned widely. “Exactly. Just release me with your mouth if I warn you to. I have a feeling I won’t last long. It’s my first time. I probably shouldn’t admit that but we’re mates. I won’t keep any secrets from you. We’re two who have become one.”

Curiosity and excitement overruled any shyness she experienced. He was right. They were mates. He was hers and she was his. There was no need to hide anything or waste time being embarrassed. She shifted up and spread her thighs, careful to place them where he wanted. She realized how close his mouth was to her pussy.

“I won’t smother you?” It was an honest concern to her.

His big hands gripped her hips. “No.” His attention shifted lower. “I like this view. Scoot a little closer and spread your thighs more.”

She bent, bracing her palms over his hips. His hands slid to her lower stomach and his thumbs spread her sex open. Hot breath fanned her intimately as she settled over his face. The first swipe of his tongue across her clit sent pleasure spreading upward.