Next to You (Life) (18 page)

Chapter 33

A
month is a
long time for the media to begin speculating about pictures and relationships. Tyler visits me early—four in the morning—right after his people spot some articles and media junk about me and a new girl. They don’t have a name but have spotted the face.

“What do you want to do?” Ty asks as I review the prints he brought me. “She’s going to freak out, we both know it.”

“She was bound to become a buzz at some point, Ty.” There’s nothing offensive in any of the headings or comments. They have pictures of us in New York while we strolled around during the weekend, and a couple around L. A. from last week. We attended a fundraiser, and there were two things I didn’t take into account; media sharks and celebrities. You’re fair game when both are combined. Of course London came to light after pictures of Becca and I began to circulate. “I’ll go over to her place and talk to her before she wakes up to this and I’m not around.”

Freak out is the word that most likely applies to her reaction.

“I think they were holding onto the pictures until they could confirm.” Ty points at a picture where Becca and I are walking Rusty in Central Park. ‘Is she the one?’ reads the caption. Next to it there is another one of us kissing. “What do you want to do?”

“Did you kill them?”

“They’re wiped from cyberspace,” he explains, “but I can’t threaten anyone with a lawsuit when we both know this isn’t harmful and that you’re indeed dating. Last time I checked, she’s the one. We can spin it however you two want; give me a buzz when you decide what you want me to release to the press.”

“Let me talk to her.” My thoughts and words make their way without any emotion. My mind is working on how to find the strength to keep calm and not freak her out. “I’ll call you in a couple of hours.”

“Are you going now?” I nod and we both head to the door
.

*

Rusty believes I’m his guard. Ever since Becca’s flu episode, I come daily in the morning and let him out. It became tradition. That and waking her up with morning sex, since we both agree not to do sleepovers or move into each other’s houses yet. Progress, our relationship is moving forward at a speed we both are comfortable with—more Becca than me.

I head to the kitchen, serve Rusty’s food and slide the door closed when he comes back from the backyard. Thankfully today the scooping company is coming to clean the yard. Love the dog, but don’t think I can tidy up his playground on a daily, every other day or weekly basis.

“Eat your breakfast, Rus.” I pat his head. “Mom and I have to have a serious talk. Wish me luck.”

Skipping one step at a time, I make it all the way to the second story and head to her room. As I arrive, I slide the dim control to have some light to see my path, when I can see my surroundings I find her sprawled on her stomach, on her side of the bed. I find it amusing that neither one of us can sleep on the other’s side. I’ve tried, it’s impossible.

“It’s dark,” she mumbles. “Why are you here so early?”

Taking the hem of my sweatshirt, I take it off and do the same with my shorts before making my way inside the bed.

“Morning, Bex.” I trail her nose and nibble her lips before kissing her and getting rid of her clothes. “Miss me?”

“What is this?” Becca’s gaze travels from her naked body to mine and back.

“Casual sex,” my light response gets a growling sound from her—I love those yappy, nonsense noises—which I choose to ignore. With one of my legs, I separate her knees and she rolls her eyes. “Part of your bucket list, one night stand, casual sex—“

“You still count that as a one night stand?” we stare at each other, her eyes soften and surprisingly she moves her hips toward my body and with a push, I slide inside her. A moan escapes her and her cheeks heat up, those noises drive me crazy and so does the blush on her face. “So the first date will be after—“

“Killing the moment, beautiful,” I interrupt her and she closes her eyes as she smiles because each time we go out on a date, she says she wants another first date. During one of those ‘first dates’ we pretended to be a couple of strangers and had a crazy rendezvous at a hotel in San Francisco. That’s what I call our one night stand. “Open those big browns, baby, you know I love to watch them while we make love.”

Of course it isn’t casual sex, it’s Becca—my Becca. But I’m not about to second her suggestion to kill the mood and talk feelings and other subjects. Like the papers, and gossip sites having her beautiful face lingering around cyberspace.

She responds to each stroke in and out. Today is a marathon, not a sprint. There’s no rush, only love and the desire to make it last for as long as I can. Even with the pace I take, her breath is heaving and this isn’t the beginning of an anxiety attack, I can feel her desire as her petite body shudders beneath me. For a moment I let her eyes go and concentrate on her upper body, nibbling her delicate neck and feasting on her beautiful breasts. Now not only Becca’s moans can be heard, but mine as well. We are close, and as she cries my name out loud, I sear her prolonged moans with a kiss and explode inside her, loving every moment of it.

“I love you,” we both say at the same time.

“What’s going on, baby?” She touches my cheek and waits for me to say something but I don’t. “Something’s bothering you, Dan.” I kiss her nose and go to the bathroom for a warm wet towel to clean her and have the chat. As I finish, she sits and positions herself into a story time pose. “I’m listening.”

Becca listens to everything I tell her; Ty’s visit, the pictures which I show her, and what’s been done so far and the big question, what she wants to do.

”We never said it out loud, but we both knew this would happen sooner or later.” She takes a deep breath. “What do I want to do?”

She looks at the pictures, then at me and then turns to the night stand where she has several pictures of us.

“Well, on the outside it looks as if we both walk the same path; but if anyone takes a close look; we live in parallel universes.” I don’t like the way she starts to explain what she wants to do with the fucking pictures. I let her talk before letting my temper take charge. “I’m not part of that larger than life scene.” She points at the print outs. “Your scene scares me a little.” She releases the tight hold of her legs again to show me with her index finger and thumb how much the fear equals in Becca terms. “London wasn’t as bad as I thought, but it took me a while to wrap my head around it.

“This is me.” She points at herself. “Not a tall, skinny with artificial enhancements woman. Jeez, you billionaires have the same taste in coffee and women. Those ladies, look great as the wife of powerful men. They can be around social events on a weekly—or daily basis—without feeling like they’re selling their souls—or they don’t care. I do. You saw them, in London, at the auction. I can’t be like them.”

Of course not, she’s different, real—human. Not a fake bimbo who is perched next to some rich asshole that doesn’t love the woman. I was like them and lived in that world once. Yes, some of the wives pay a high price. Their husbands have affairs from left to right. I’m not saying everyone that has money does that, but most do. During some meetings I have heard them talk about it. Their last lay, and how they pacified the wife with a diamond. It’s a world I need to participate in from time to time, not one I want to live in forever. I’ve never done that, in the past, I always gone back to my real world. Becca, the person that grounds me. I made the mistake throughout the years to make her think that that outside world mattered more than her. Which was wrong. She’s my world.

“Then there are days like yesterday. With weird behaviors that scare me because I have no idea why my mood is spiking off the charts.” She takes a deep breath and suddenly gets off the bed, picks up my sweatshirt and puts it on, then heads out of the room. I follow. “I was fine after. I’m okay today. So far there’s been only one nightmare in the past few weeks—since I arrived in San Jose and after the incident with the Patricks.” I have a feeling that this is that downfall I’ve been waiting for. “That’s nothing compared to my usual three to four a night. I’ll say there’s a huge improvement.” Huge? Try awesome I want to interrupt but abstain and listen. “You won’t have to deal with broken Becca, I promise. But… you need—”

“Becca—” I interrupt her and she does the same.

“I heard you, Dan, and I don’t blame you,” she says taking a jug of juice out of the fridge and pouring it into two glasses. “You were done with my drama—weak Becca. Obviously, for many reasons, but one of them was because you had a shitty life too, now I know. The least you deserve, was…or is normal and I made you jump onto the crazy train of Becca Trent. There’s normal outside, plenty of non-gold-diggers who had a regular upbringing and family.”

“Is that what you want, Becca?” Something is making her talk crazy and I need to stop her before she takes off. With that in mind I turn the tables. “Find a guy who grew up with a mother and a father, fought with his siblings and never worried about how he’d survive since the age of five? Are those better than me?”

“That’s silly, Dan.” She snorts. “No one in this world is better than you. Not for me anyway. You’re perfect.”

“I’m not perfect, baby,” I say taking several steps forward until there’s less than an inch of separation between us. “And I know how imperfect you are too, and I accept all those glitches that make you distinctive from the rest. Tall, skinny, supersized with silicone isn’t what I want for the rest of my life. Yes I complained to Tyler about the way I felt—tired and frustrated. Take into consideration that back then I had had it with everything. For one, according to me you were under my care since we met and I failed you.” Becca frowns. “Yes, that’s gone, there’s no way I could’ve stopped it. I was way too young back then. But then you kept fighting me at every turn. I fucking learned how to read you, Becca, and you took that away from me. I lost it. You closed yourself—to me. It was as if you had me walking next to you blind. My controlling ways are the result of my past and something that’ll never change. You used to accept them—”

“Ian,” Becca says and I hold my tongue because the mention of his name boils my blood to the point of wanting to forbid the mention of him. “He—”

“Was an asshole with you,” I interrupt her and she nods. “I knew… I saw that since day one. He treated you like shit and ordered you around for his own benefit. I’ve never done that. Now, think about your next words wisely before you piss me off.”

“I guarantee your mood is going to spike into a rage,” she says placing her fists on her waist. “Off the charts angry. Your options are simple, either you listen or our conversation is over.” I mirror her posture and don’t say anything. “After the accident in Aspen, my brain began to fight the deeper memories, but they kept coming to the surface. Every foreign thought, order or plan I didn’t come up with was a virus to my system. The times I began to picture you as a tyrant overpowered the ones I swore you were a prince. Then the AGNO—Ava’s Girls Night Out—of hell happened and you disappeared. The fear of losing you forever shut down our link from my side, so far I don’t know what happened to yours. We just began to play tug-a-war, you became the current while I played the fish swimming upstream. The harder you pulled, the more I compared our relationship with mine and Ian’s. My brain didn’t stop once to think, it couldn’t anymore. My mind suddenly transformed itself into a car without breaks heading downhill on a steep mountain.”

“And now… do you still compare me with him?” I ask her because I might not be perfect but being compared with scum isn’t my dream either. She shakes her head, her eyes are soft and beg me to believe her. I do, because I can read her. My all-time access pass to her mind works again without a hitch. “Give me some answers here, Becca, tell me what the fuck is going to happen next. Please. I need to move forward and I feel as if you don’t care much about it.”

“I don’t know, Danny.” She smiles at me and releases her arms, raising one hand to my cheek and touching it. “If you don’t mind a moody, petite, curvy, baggage carrier with all natural equipment, we should take a few steps further into the relationship. We can start the sleepovers, tell the world you have a steady girlfriend and see what comes next. Of course, you need to plan to submerge inside the world of silent evenings, quite nights, cook obsessed, baker galore, knitting freak that likes to watch movies and read before bed. And I’ll fit you into my schedule, the dare devil who loves to do extreme sports while dragging me along. If possible, keep the fancy affairs and the press to a minimum. We have to balance both worlds. ”

“You’re telling me that staring today I can stay with you?”

“Yes,” Becca says and scowls. “You seriously have a one track mind if that’s all you got from what I just said, Daniel.”

“Well then,” I ignore her, because I got everything, though that last part is my favorite, and also, I don’t want to talk about the past, or how there are some insecurities we still need to smooth, or the press, not now. The only thing I’ll do is have Tyler release a statement and warn everyone that my life is private and should remain that way—my family is off limits. “We’re never leaving this place. Wicked Wednesday, Sexy Saturdays, Sexed up Sundays, Naked other days are being established.”

Becca rolls her eyes and heads to the fridge, opening the door.

“Turkey Sandwiches for breakfast?” She doesn’t wait for an answer, instead, she begins to search for bread to prepare them. “I’m hungry and you?”

I nod, and I take the opportunity to push our relationship one step ahead.

“Bud and I bought this place in Napa,” I start, she looks over her shoulder, narrowing her eyes and squinting. “I’m wondering what you think about taking a drive with me to check out the place. You can decide if you’d like to settle.”

“As in a house for us?” she asks and I nod. “We’re not moving in together right now, Brightmore, we just decided to add sleepovers.”

“It’ll be a long process, from designing it, to building and then decorating the place. Don’t you think by then we’ll be ready to move in?”