Nickels (44 page)

“Please be fair.”

“Fair!  I suppose you think what you did was fair?”

He grabbed her forearms.  “Let me explain.”

“Let me go,” she said through clenched teeth.  “I have a
dinner to go to.”

As he dropped his hands to his side, his voice softened to a
whisper.  “I love you, Niki.  I’m sorry I hurt you by not telling you sooner. 
I know I really messed up.”

She was still angry.  No matter how much of her heart she
gave to him, she was hurt and humiliated.

“I need to go.”

Kyle backed up from her car.  As she slid behind the wheel,
he walked towards his motorcycle.

Niki drove to the restaurant in silence, trying to figure
out how to hold it together for the next twenty four hours.  This dinner was
going to be tough.  Walking down the aisle on Kyle’s arm would be tough.  The
reception would be tough.

Once inside the restaurant, she found the table.  It was
hard to miss the large crowd.  Two seats next to each other were the only seats
remaining.  Niki took the one next to Marcy, leaving the one next to Alana for
Kyle.

“We saved you two seats,” Brenda pointed out the obvious. 
“I figured you and Kyle would want to catch up a bit, with him having been gone
so long.”

Had she missed the entire scene with Alana and Kelly?

Niki smiled wanly.  “Thanks.”

Kyle entered and took the empty seat next to her.  He leaned
over, speaking softly in her ear, “Can I have just five minutes, please.  Let’s
not leave things like this.”

She looked over at Marcy who nodded.  “Order me something,
Marcy.  I’ll be back in a minute.”

He followed her outside.  She leaned up against the wall,
folding her arms across her chest.  When Kyle reached for her, she cut him off
with her words.

“You’ve got five minutes.  Say your piece.”

Kyle frowned dropping his hands to his side.  “Kelly and I
were friends in college.  Nothing more.  Neither of us had any intention of
starting a romance, much less…  It was our senior year, just after first term
finals.  We were partying things up pretty good with a bunch of friends. 
Everyone was pairing off and we found ourselves the odd people out.”

Niki didn’t move.  She wasn’t sure she really wanted to hear
this.

“We both had a lot to drink.  I made the first move and I
convinced her to let me come to her dorm room.”

Niki tapped her foot.

“The point is…  That night, we let things go way too far.  The
result was an uncomfortable discussion a few weeks later and Alana nine months
later.

“I told Kelly if she wanted to keep the baby, I would do the
honorable thing and pay child support, but I had no place for a kid in my
life.  I was pretty harsh.  But, I didn’t know what to do.  I was off to flight
training before Alana was even born.

“And, for the first four years of her life, Alana never met
me.  After some convincing from Mom and Marcy, I made contact with Kelly.  I
told her that my family wanted to get to know Alana.  I wasn’t sure if I wanted
to or not.  It didn’t matter because I got shipped off to Iraq before ever
meeting her.

“Then, after the accident, I knew that I needed to step up
and be a father to my daughter.  I needed to do the right thing.  So, as soon
as I was well enough, I went to visit Alana.  And she captured my heart.

“Kelly and I made a terrible mistake.  But, Alana is so
precious.  It makes it hard to reconcile anything in my mind.  We should have
been more responsible.  But we weren’t and Alana shouldn’t have to pay for it.

“So, Niki, that’s it.  The truth.  I was a jerk to my own
daughter.  I was selfish.  And I missed out.”

Niki didn’t move.

“I am sorry I didn’t tell you all this sooner.”

“And you never once thought to marry Kelly?”

“Two wrongs definitely don’t make a right.  Kelly and I are
friends.  She’s my daughter’s mother.  Nothing more.”

“That’s pretty cold.”

“What do you want me to say?  Would you feel better if I
pined after her all these years?  Or that we had married then divorced?  None
of which is true.  What do you want, Niki?”

She wanted him to hurt.  It was petty, maybe even childish. 
She wasn’t upset that he had a daughter.  Only that he kept it a secret.

“How many other secrets do you have?  Am I going to find out
three months from now that you have son, too?  A string of lovers strewn across
the country?  What?”

“Really?  You want to go there right now?  Do you want the
number of women I’ve been with?  Would that make you feel better?”

Kyle stood in front of her, staring her down.

“Can’t you see that none of that matters?  I love you,
Niki.  With
all
of my heart.  The past is just that—the past.  I can’t change
any of it.  Neither can you.  These last months apart from you have been
torture.  Please don’t shut me out because I made a mistake.”

She dropped her arms to her side then started to move
towards the door.

“Niki,” Kyle grabbed her arm, “please—”

“Time’s up,” she said shaking her arm free.  “Tonight and
tomorrow are about Marcy.  Don’t mess that up, too.”

She turned and headed back into the restaurant, leaving him
at the door.  A little prick of guilt invaded her conscience.  Perhaps she was
being unfair.

She pushed the thought aside quickly, focusing instead on
getting through the next day.

She took her seat next to Marcy and listened to the
conversation around her.  Kyle returned and took the seat beside her, giving
Alana all of his attention.  She couldn’t help but overhear bits and pieces of
their conversation.  Kyle asked her what the kids at school thought about her
cast.  Then he asked if she was happy to have it off.  Alana babbled happily,
obviously starving for attention from her dad.

When Alana stopped talking, Niki glanced over and saw her
curled up in Kyle’s lap, her head resting against his chest.  Her eyes were
closed in sleep.

“I better get her back to the hotel,” Kelly said softly,
reaching for Alana.

“I’ll carry her,” he said, standing slowly.  “See you
tomorrow, sis, Niki.”  She watched as he followed Kelly to the front.

Niki’s awkwardness vanished with his retreating form.  Sad
emptiness replaced it.

Others around the table said their farewells.  Niki left
Marcy with Chad, knowing she would see her at home in a few minutes.  Once at
her car, she drove home.

As she pulled into the garage and turned off her car, the
image of Kyle with Alana in his arms played over in her mind.  Him, Kelly,
Alana.  On the surface, they looked like a happy family—one that belonged
together.

She swallowed back her tears as she flipped on the hallway
light.  She dropped her purse on the counter before retrieving the box of
scrapbooks from her room.  Tonight was her last night with her roommate and
friend.  Eight years they’d roomed together.  Eight years of memories.

Just as she set the box on the coffee table, she heard the
garage door open, then close.  Marcy bounded in, bright smile on her face.

“I can hardly wait for tomorrow,” Marcy said.

I can.
  She dreaded the day she would lose her
friend.  Okay, she wasn’t really dreading that.  More like facing Kyle again.

Marcy plopped down on the couch beside Niki.  “Before we
walk down memory lane, I need to know something.”

“What?”

“How long are you going to make Kyle suffer for not telling
you about Alana?  I know it was a shock, but the way you two were acting at
dinner, I got the feeling you’re considering breaking up with him.”

Leave it to her best friend to see the situation clearly.

“Marcy—”

“Listen.  I’ve known you a long time.  I’ve seen you date a
few guys and I’ve seen you isolate yourself.  You’re different with Kyle.  You
light up.  You’re happy.  You missed him while he was gone.  When you first saw
him at the church tonight, you were ecstatic.

“Don’t get me wrong.  What he did was stupid.  He should
have told you sooner—and definitely before tonight.  I think if he had, we
wouldn’t even be having this conversation.  So, what do you say?  Are you going
to forgive him and give him a second chance?”

Niki avoided looking at Marcy.  “I don’t know.”

Neither spoke for a few minutes.  She was pretty sure Marcy
was waiting for her to say something more.  She had nothing else to say about
Kyle right now.  She would see how tomorrow went.

Picking up her scrapbook from their college days, she
flipped it open.  Laughing she said, “Look at you!  Pigtails?  What was that
about?”

With that introduction, the two best friends reminisced well
into the night about their days together.  They laughed at the funny pictures. 
They tried to remember names of old boyfriends, wondering why they kept those
pictures anyway.  They teased each other about silly secrets they shared.  Then
they hugged good night, satisfied with the end of this chapter of their
friendship, looking forward to the next chapter.

Chapter 39

The next morning dawned.  Even though she slept in a little
this morning, Niki dragged her feet to the kitchen.  Staying up until one
sounded like a good idea last night.  Starting a pot of coffee, she stood there
and waited, unwilling to move until it brewed enough for her to steal a cup. 
The aroma brought a bleary eyed Marcy to the kitchen.

Marcy stretched as she yawned.  “I can’t believe we stayed
up so late.”

Niki glanced at the microwave clock.  “We need to get
going.”  She poured each of them a mug of the rejuvenating liquid.

Twenty minutes later, the two friends loaded Marcy’s wedding
dress, Niki’s gown, and a small suitcase of Marcy’s things into Niki’s car.  Tori
waited eagerly for them at the entrance to the salon.  Tori went first, her
shoulder length hair a bit easier to deal with than Niki’s almost waist length hair.

When Niki’s turn came to sit in the chair, she let her mind
wander as the stylist dried and curled and pinned and sprayed her hair.  Maybe
she was being too hard on Kyle.  She really should forgive him.  Why was she so
hesitant to do so?

Marcy was right.  She was happier around him.  Other than
his secret about Alana, he had been great, always making her feel special. 
He’s the one who helped lead her to the Lord.  How could she keep holding a
grudge?

Besides, she missed him more than she wanted to admit.

Her hair took long enough that both Marcy and Tori were done
in the makeup chair.  Marcy traded Niki places while Tori sat nearby, all put
together.

When the makeup artist was done, Niki tried not to cringe as
she looked at her reflection.  She looked garish, especially with the casual
button down shirt that clashed horribly with the bright red lipstick. 
Hopefully it would transform into something beautiful against the maroon of her
bridesmaid dress.

The stylist pinned the last curl of Marcy’s hair into
place.  When she turned Marcy toward Tori and Niki, Niki thought she might
cry.  Her friend looked stunning.

“Chad is a lucky, guy.”

“Oh, stop,” Marcy said, “or you’ll have me testing this
waterproof mascara before we even get to the church.”

“Speaking of church…” Niki ushered Marcy to her car.

As they pulled into the church parking lot, Marcy waited in
the car for the all clear.  She wanted to stick with tradition and make sure
her soon-to-be husband didn’t get an accidental glimpse.

Niki pulled Marcy’s dress from the back, helping her hold it
in a way so it wouldn’t get wrinkled or drag on the ground.  Then she grabbed
her own dress, following behind her.

“The bride’s changing room is over here,” Marcy said.

The sound of a woman crying drew her attention to the
foyer.  Niki’s feet locked as if they had been bolted to the floor when her
eyes took in the scene before her.

A tuxedo clad Kyle held a tearful Kelly in his arms.  He was
whispering something in her ear.

Her stomach tightened.   Her breathing stopped.  Her hopes
imploded.  It would have hurt less if he’d come over and ripped her beating
heart from her chest.

“Niki!”  Tori’s loud voice echoed through the lobby.  “Are
you coming?”

Kyle’s head snapped her direction as he dropped his hold on
Kelly like her skin suddenly turned into corrosive acid.  “Niki, wait—”

“Yeah, right behind you,” Niki said, turning to follow Tori
back down the hall.  She slammed the door shut with a shaky hand, securing the
barrier between her and Kyle.  Slowly she began erecting the wall around her
heart.

She could do this.  Breathe in and out.  She only had to get
through this day.  Then she could say goodbye to Kyle Jacobs forever.

“You okay?” Brenda Jacobs asked as she lifted the dress from
her arms.

Niki exhaled a stuttered breath.  “Yeah, fine.  Just had to
run out to my car for something and I’m a little winded.”