Night of the Golden Butterfly (25 page)

We carried on with the main course. Another of her guests, who worked for Credit Suisse, asked me where I was staying. As I was thinking of a suitable hotel, Zaynab interrupted.

‘At my place. And not in the guest room.’

‘Ah’, said Henri, ‘you are lovers. Very pleased. Very good news, Dara.’

Till then the Chinese author, Cheng Chiao-fu, had remained silent. I looked at him more closely. He smiled. I was sure we had met somewhere.

‘What book are you writing for Henri, or is it a secret?’

‘Henri thinks it’s on a famous banking scandal in Shanghai that led to three public executions. That will be a small book. I’m working on a much larger book, on the history or, more accurately, the sociology of festivals in China. There are so many of them and their origins have always interested me. The existing work on them is not good.’

Chiao-fu’s English was perfect, not a trace of any Chinese accent, but before I could question him, Zaynab attempted to engage Henri’s companion in conversation.

‘Do you work for Henri?’

‘You could say that I work on him.’

We were just finishing at this point, but not wishing to hear more in this vein, Zaynab’s other guests pleaded the constraints of time and left us. There was a relieved burst of laughter from her. A more relaxed atmosphere prevailed. It was only ten, and more wine and cheese was laid on the table. I asked Chiao-fu whether he’d studied in Britain or the United States.

‘Neither.’

‘Where did you learn English?’

‘I can’t remember.’

The way he said that was familiar. I looked at him more closely.

‘Do you think we’ve met before?’ he asked. ‘That might be interesting.’

‘Do you mind removing your spectacles?’

He did as I asked and I was almost sure. I spoke to him in Punjabi, using a phrase that he had often deployed in the old days.

‘You dog, Confucius, you cold-hearted catamite. Where have you been all these years?’

He answered in Punjabi. ‘Who are you? Have we met?’

‘We met in Lahore. I knew your parents and Jindié. She lives in London now.’

He looked blank, and something none of us had considered as a possibility was now a certainty, unless he was fooling. But it soon became clear that he had lost his memory, at least partially. I carried on speaking to him in Punjabi, and he replied and asked questions.

‘Did you give up physics?’

‘I don’t know. I did economics at Beijing University.’

Zaynab saw that I was close to tears. She said, ‘Confucius, do you remember Plato?’

‘Yes, I think so. He made me laugh. What happened to him?’

‘He died a few months ago.’

‘I’m sad to hear that. And you knew him, too?’

Henri had immediately realized that what was taking place was serious. I explained rapidly in broken French who Chiao-fu really was and was told in return that he was regarded as one of the top economists in the country, but had been sidelined because of the scathing criticisms he had made of the direction in which China was headed. I couldn’t restrain a few tears. Something of the old Hanif Ma-Confucius had stayed in him. What happened to this boy? Whose identity had he assumed or been given and in what circumstances? His confusion was now palpable. The fact that he could suddenly speak a totally different language that he’d had no idea was in him had shaken his self-confidence. I asked whether I could ring his sister and inform her.

‘Later, please. Let’s just talk now. In Punjabi.’

Zahid and Jindié arrived the next morning and we all met later that day. Confucius was still bewildered. He didn’t recognize Jindié, but accepted rationally that she could be his sister despite her stumbling Chinese. She would often revert to Punjabi, reminding him of their childhood, using mixed Punjabi-Mandarin phrases from their past that were known only to them. Occasionally he would smile, his only tiny flicker of recognition. More would take time. I could see that she had been crying and attempted to comfort her.

‘Thank you for finding him.’

‘Pure luck.’

‘But you were convinced he was alive.’

We embraced warmly. ‘Go with him to Beijing and find out more. Stay for as long it takes, Jindié.’

‘I’ll write and let you know.’

I shook hands with Confucius and said farewell in Punjabi. ‘We will meet again, Confucius. I’m so happy that Zahid and I are not the only remaining survivors of the table at college.’

‘Was there someone we used to call Respected?’

Zahid and I screamed in tandem. ‘Yes!’

‘Why do you call me Confucius?’

‘I’ll let Zahid explain all that in great detail to you. I look forward to your book.’

The intense affection that Jindié felt for him could only have heightened the pain she felt when it became obvious he did not know her. What did he know? Did he remember his Maoist days? Was the past a total nonstarter? It couldn’t be if speaking in Punjabi had reminded him of Respected. Perhaps it was all inside him waiting for an opportunity to return to the surface. Zahid was confident that some of it would be recovered, though the shock or accident that had caused the loss of memory in the first place must have been a very long time ago. And that would be a problem.

I returned to the Rue de Bièvre exhausted. Zaynab was out and I switched on the computer to read about memory loss. Nothing definitive. Too many variables. One interesting statistic, however, revealed that in sixty percent of the cases studied in California, memory had largely or completely returned.

I had seriously considered going to Kunming and Dali with Jindié and Zahid, meeting young Suleiman and discovering what was left of the monuments from the time of the rebellion. How much of the Dali Forbidden City still existed? Had the Manchu, like the Red Guards a century later, wreaked their revenge on the architecture as well? It would all have to wait now. Confucius had become the centre of her world.

The next day was the first real spring day of the year. Paris was caressed by deliciously warm breezes; Zaynab and I walked virtually the whole day. She had heard about Jindié and me, Zahid and his life from Plato, and clearly in some detail. Now she turned towards me, looking slightly worried.

‘I think Jindié still loves you.’

‘
Aflatuni ishq
. Platonic love.’

‘Our Plato didn’t think so. Did he ever tell you that when he was being discovered thanks to your help, she would contact him to ask about you and your life?’

‘He never told me. It was obviously too trivial to be repeated. In any case it means nothing. I am fond of her. I like her. Nothing more. She and Zahid are quite close in some ways and their life has developed a rhythm that suits both of them. It happens to couples who’ve been together a long time. You look vexed.’

She did not reply, and I wondered whether this had anything to do with us. I asked her.

‘I suppose it does, in a way. When we first became intimate I had no idea what I really felt about you, but now I’ve got used to you. I miss you when you’re not here, and that is not good. What do you think?’

‘I think we need to find you a boy toy. A vigorous young stallion who can escort you all over the world. A jockey capable of riding any mare. A Plato-style chauffeur, but young and virile.’

‘Be serious, Dara. I’m not joking.’

I could see numerous obstacles to any permanent arrangement, but I could also see the attractive side of what she proposed. I had got so used to being on my own and enjoying what I did that a complete break in my old routine was unappealing. Perhaps we could be together for long weekends, and more if we wanted, but I could also see that, after a lengthy interval, fate was offering a new possibility on a platter and that, too, was pleasing.

‘Let’s talk about this later and see how we should proceed. As you know, I’ve become attached to you.’

‘Not so attached that I am invited to stay in your London flat.’

‘Let’s go tomorrow. Come and see it for yourself.’

‘Are you serious?’

I was, and then I also remembered that neither of us had informed Alice Stepford of Plato’s death. That evening I rang her in New York. She demanded to know why we hadn’t told her. I though it best to be truthful.

‘We forgot.’

She became vituperative, but then calmed down and wept sensibly.

‘Has there been an obituary?’

‘Two, in
Art Monthly
. Both good.’

‘I meant the
New York Times
.’

‘No.’

‘I’m going to write one. And I assume that Zaynab is the executor and all the paintings now belong to her.’

‘This is true, Ally.’

‘Alice. Good. He did a nude of me once. Usual stuff. Huge balloon-shaped breasts with all the other accompaniments. Could you tell Zaynab that if it hasn’t been sold I’d like to buy it off her? Don’t like the thought of it hanging anywhere. I might e-mail you for some details of his youth, but otherwise I’ll write mainly about his work.’

Which she did, introducing Plato to an art public that he had neither known nor coveted. He was the only one of my friends who, in all the time I knew him, showed no interest—negative or positive—in the affairs of the United States, or any desire to visit it. This lack of curiosity annoyed me, and when I reprimanded him he would contemptuously shrug his shoulders, but never offered an explanation.

We may return later to the impact of Ally’s obituary, but in the meantime Zaynab is waiting for me in the restaurant to hear my views on our future. I thought of all the things I liked about her, some of which have already been listed. Another quality that I appreciated was her incapacity to make small talk and to give her undivided attention to people she did not like or value. Better not to speak than maintain a pretence. And though she was in her early fifties now, she had retained a girlish quality, largely with the help of her mischief-filled eyes, and this belied her age. All these traits could not have been the result of her unique upbringing, or other unfortunates in a similar position might have benefited equally. Nor was there a trace of bitterness in her. She did not suspect people she liked of base motives or jump to embittered conclusions regarding their actions. I’m sure that is what Plato saw in her, too, and why he adored her in the way he did.

My hesitation was purely selfish. I wanted no further disruptions in my life and I was fearful that this might happen, which was why I had devised a compromise formula that might suit us both: weekends and holidays together and every third week a change of city. As I entered the restaurant the first thing I noticed was that the portrait of Balzac had disappeared from the wall. Zaynab sat at her table near the window, smiling. As I joined her she pointed at the menu to indicate that the Balzac quote had disappeared as well. What had happened? That catamite Henri de Montmorency had happened. He had returned one lunchtime and informed the: Spanish proprietor that the place postdated Balzac’s death and this was not a street much visited by the novelist in any case. I should have alerted Henri to the joke, but he had written a highly regarded history of Paris and probably would have become cross with me. History was sacred and woe betide those who took liberties with it. We tried not to laugh. Zaynab whispered that she had told them it was an honest mistake on my part.

We talked and she appeared perfectly happy with my solution, as long as she could stay with me in London. Why should that have been a problem? She gestured as if to imply that I knew. I was genuinely puzzled.

‘Don’t you keep London pure for Jindié?’

It was jealousy. I burst out laughing, repeated what I had said before, and explained why I hadn’t stayed in the guest room in Richmond and the excuse I had offered Jindié. For a minute I was the subject of a fixed and profound gaze, and then she burst out laughing.

‘I know how fussy you are about your cursed coffee. That may well have been the real reason as well. So there were two reasons for not staying. Now I’m convinced.’

She had more wine than usual that night and at one point was overcome with a giggling fit, to which she was sometimes prone. This time there was no apparent reason. Finally she spoke.

‘I have been sworn to total secrecy and if this appears anywhere I’ll lose a very good friend in New York. She’ll never forgive me. It’s about a professor from our parts.’

‘Which parts did you have in mind?’

‘Geographical. In this case, South Asia.’

The story concerned egos in academia. A leading professor in the literature department of a university in the Midwest had been invited to Harvard some weeks ago, where she was due to receive an honorary degree, followed by a banquet at which there would be speeches. Her best work was behind her, but it had once helped her acquire an enormous reputation and a cult following for reasons that even at the time—it was the height of the postmodernist wave in the late Eighties—could be only partially justified. Subsequently she had languished, producing books that her students were compelled to read but that were not part of course lists on other campuses. The New York universities, in particular, had ignored her recent work and had stopped inviting her to lecture. For that reason, the honorary degree at Harvard and the fanfare surrounding it had come at a good time for her.

During the dinner, at which Zaynab’s friend had been present, the guest of honour was ignored by most of the old men at the table. This lack of attention upset her greatly, and she burst into silent tears, which went unnoticed, and then began to weep loudly. Everyone present fell silent; now she was the centre of their undivided attention. A kindly retired professor in his eighties put his arm around her to ask why she was so upset.

‘Well, it’s like this,’ said the visitor. ‘After lying fallow for a long time I acquired a young Egyptian lover last month. All went well till yesterday, when he refused cunnilingus point-blank because of his religion. I just thought about it and that made me cry.’

There was pin-drop silence. She looked appealingly at the gathering and pleaded for some expert advice. ‘Do any of you know why the Coptic Church forbids cunnilingus?’

I laughed as Zaynab finished. It was the one of the more original and comprehensible utterances that I’d heard reported of this particular professor in twenty years. And just before leaving the restaurant, I think I managed to convince its hirsute proprietor that whether or not Balzac had literally eaten at this location was irrelevant. His spirit now hovered over this entire area, if not the country as a whole, and he should reinstate the portrait and the quotation. The Spaniard promised to give the matter serious consideration.