Night Sky (6 page)

“You’re being weird, Jameson.” Sarah scoots
back until she’s resting against my headboard.

“Sorry.” I use my legs to
swing my office chair back and forth. “It’s just different, now
that you’re with…Eric.” I really don’t like saying his
name
.

“We were fine when you were dating Jen,” she
points out.

I nod.

“And Miranda.” She folds her arms.

“Both short-lived things.” Because I knew
they wouldn’t last, since I couldn’t have the girl I actually
wanted. Girls don’t stick around when they feel like they’re not
the most important person in their boyfriend’s world. And for me,
Jen and Miranda weren’t. No wonder neither relationship lasted
long.

“I don’t want Eric and I to be a short
thing.” Sarah says with a smile, leaning her arms on her legs.

“I know.” I want to scream, but I don’t.

Her phone beeps and she immediately begins
to grin. “I gotta run.”

“What’s up?” Although, I’m not sure why I
bother to ask.

“Eric’s done with his stuff. We’re gonna
hang out,” she says, as her eyes light up.

I swallow. Her excitement is burning a hole
in my chest. I should be happy for her or something. Instead I
mostly feel sorry for myself. “I’ll walk you out,” I offer.

She stands up and makes a face. “How long
has it been since you felt the need to walk me out?”

“Whatever, Sarah.” I reach over and rough up
her hair.

“Hey!” she yells, before carefully smoothing
it out. Something she never would’ve done a year ago. She wouldn’t
even have done it a few months ago. She would have tackled me
back.

We step onto the driveway and I walk her to
her car.

“So, I guess I’ll see you at school
tomorrow,” she says, opening the driver’s side door.

I start to answer, but
catch Sky out of the corner of my eye, just off the edge of my
driveway. She’s in my sweatshirt.
I love
it.

“Hey, Sky.” I wave and smile.

“Hey, Jay.” She waves back. “Nana wanted her
dog out,” Sky says, rolling her eyes.

“I don’t know if that qualifies as a
dog.”

She’s walking something
that looks like a brown
pompom with
legs.

She laughs.

I glance at Sarah, realizing that I’ve been
checking Sky out right in front of her.

“Gonna introduce me?” Sarah asks with a hard
stare.

“Oh, sorry.” I wave for Sky to come over.
Now that they’re both in view, the problem is clear. Girl I’ve
loved, girl I’m falling for. Let’s meet in my driveway and see if
we can give Jameson his first heart attack.

I clear my throat twice before I find my
voice. “Sarah, this is Sky. Sky, this is Sarah.”

They’re complete
opposites. Sky is all tall, dark and angles. Sarah is smooth, short
and full of soft curves. And now I know I’m a prick because I’ve
checked them both out in less than ten seconds. What’s ironic here
is that Sky knows who Sarah is and I’ve known her for days. Sarah
doesn’t know who Sky is and I’ve known her for years.
How did that happen?
Their names are starting to get tangled in my head and on my
tongue.
I’m in deep shit.

I look at Sarah who’s
still staring hard at Sky.
Why do girls do
this?

“Sky’s going to UNLV. She lives just over
there with the Harpers.” But I can’t force an arm up to
gesture.

“Oh.” Sarah’s eyes don’t leave Sky’s
face.

“And you’re Sarah, the best friend.” Sky
smiles this sweet, soft smile devoid of the smirk or mischievous
grin that normally plays on her lips.

I’m staring at her lips.

“Yeah.” Sarah smiles her warm smile at me.
“We’ve been close for years…me and Jamesy.”

Sky’s lips press together,
and I know her just well enough to know she’s trying hard not to
laugh.
I’m sure to hear about that
one.

“Well, I don’t want to keep Eric waiting.” I
may not be smart about girls, but I do know that this feels as
awkward as hell, and I’m ready for the situation to be over.

“Right,” I say. Sarah’s eyes catch mine one
last time before she jumps in her car.

“She’s pretty,” Sky says, watching her drive
away.

“Yep, but I miss her
frizzy hair.”
Why did I just say that to
Sky?

“Story there?” Sky wraps the leash around
her hand another time.

“She, uh…” I look down. Sarah isn’t really I
want to talk about with Sky.

“Walk with me,” she says, starting up the
street.

“Okay.” Moving my legs would probably be
good. I suddenly feel frozen to the spot.

We walk at that pace that’s so slow it’s
barely walking. Shuffling our shoes on the sidewalk.

“Tell me about her hair,” she says.

I stuff my hands in the pockets of my jeans.
“It’s not just the hair.” I shake my head. “She’s on the swim team
so her hair was always frizzy at the edges because it’s curly. Then
one day, the frizz was gone.”

“And she got highlights to match the rest of
your graduating class.”

I laugh. “Yeah…something like that.”

“Sorry,
Jamesy
.” She giggles.
Something I’d never expect from Sky, but I did expect to be teased
about Jamesy.

I shake my head. “It’s what she’s always
called me.”

“She was trying to show me that she knows
you better than I do.” Her voice is now smooth and serious.

“What?”
That doesn’t make any sense.

“She feels protective of you, probably
because she likes you.” Sky lets out a sigh. “Girls are stupid and
they don’t know what they want—until they think they can’t have it
anymore.”

“Sarah doesn’t feel that way.” I can say
that easily after watching her with Eric.

“How do you know? Ever ask her?” I know
Sky’s eyes are on me, but I don’t look up.

“No, Sarah and I aren’t
like that.” I motion between Sky and myself. “Not like us.”
Us? Is there a Jameson and Sky?

“You didn’t ask to hold my
hand.” Her voice is quiet. We stop at her driveway. She’s staring
at her shoes and the
Pomeranian
by her feet.

“I…”
I didn’t think of it. What a wasted opportunity.

“You wanna push our night out back a bit?”
Her eyes finally come up to my face.

“Why would I want to do that?” I start to
panic. My week has sort of revolved around the fact that I get to
take out Sky on Friday night.

“Because you’re still pining over Sarah and
planning ways to score points in order to kiss me again. It’s gonna
get confusing.” Her mouth pulls down.

“I realized this afternoon
that you’re easy to be around.”
Spill it,
Jay.
“I like being honest.”

“No, you don’t.” Her lips push together. “It
makes you uncomfortable.”

“You can like things that make you
uncomfortable,” I point out. “Besides, it’s probably good for
me.”

We stand in silence with her looking up at
me. “Okay, see you Friday,” she says, starting up the steps to her
door.

I follow close behind. “Two days.”

“You’re counting. That’s sweet.” She turns
and rests her back against the door.

I hold my lips together to keep from
smiling. I know I’m not doing a good job of hiding my embarrassment
over the fact that I’m counting days.

“Don’t be embarrassed. I’m glad you’re
looking forward to it. So am I.”

Then she’s gone, disappearing into the
house. And I’m alone on the porch not having any idea what to do
with myself.

SEVEN

On Thursday, Mom is still closing cupboards
with too much force. We’re going on nearly five days of built-up
tension. She’s up early, and I’m just about to take off for
school.

“Everything, okay?” I ask. Even though part
of me knows this situation is a little different and things
probably aren’t going to be okay. I don’t know why, but I can’t
shake the idea that things are somehow different.

“Oh, yeah.” Her smile is faint. “Have a good
day.”

“I will.”
Maybe I should give her a head’s up about
Friday.
“I’m taking Sky out on Friday. Is
that a problem?”

Mom’s smile becomes more genuine then. “Not
at all. You should talk to your dad about using his car.”

“Do you think he’d let me?” It sounds
partially like fun to drive the Porsche and partially like I’d just
be trying too hard to show off or something. But I really love
driving his car.

“I don’t know why you think I’d know what
your father will or will not let you do,” she snaps, turning to
empty the fridge of its contents.

Yep, things definitely
aren’t good.
I wonder how much longer
it’ll be before they’re back on track. Waking up to the sound of
cupboards slamming is starting to grate on my nerves.

“I gotta run,” I say, as I start for the
door again.

“I hope you two have fun tomorrow. She seems
like a cool girl.”

I hold in the ridiculous
grin I feel spreading across my face. “She is.” I half jump out the
door before letting myself smile. She is a way cool girl and I
don’t know how I’m going to keep up with her for a whole
night
. But it’ll be fun to try.

***

So, as much as I’d like to think I’m moving
on after a whole six days of getting used to the idea—I’m not. I
mean, I’m moving on, but the only time I get to see Sarah without
Eric is in class.

“How are things?” I ask her. We’ve sat next
to each other in third period English the whole year.

“Good. You?” She opens her book and flips
through the pages.

“Good.”
What do we have to talk about? I know I don’t
want to talk about Eric.

“How’s your new friend?” Sarah pulls out our
assignment from yesterday and looks it over.

“Sky?” I’m confused.

“Yes.
Sky
.” She finally looks at me, her
eyes wide. I’m having a hard time reading her expression—probably
because I’m trying too hard.

“You okay?” I ask.

She smiles a little. “Yeah, sorry. I was
just surprised because you’ve never mentioned her when we hang
out.”

“I met her on Friday, after the dance. I
gave her a ride home. She lives across from me.”

“Oh.” Sarah relaxes in her seat.

“Is that it?” I
whisper.
Why do I care if people hear what
we’re talking about?

“I just didn’t know if…I thought maybe you
were dating and hadn’t told me. That’s all.” She fingers the edge
of her paper and her eyes drop back to her desk.

“No.” I smile.
Maybe Sky’s right. Maybe Sarah does like
me.
“But I’m taking her out on
Friday.”

“Oh.” Sarah’s head snaps up.

“What’s with you? You’re acting all
strange,” I say.

She shifts in her seat, not looking at
me.

“You’re being so direct. I guess I’m not
used to that from you.” Her bright blue eyes meet mine.

“Sorry, I didn’t
realize.”
Guess it’s
contagious.

“Maybe, if you want, we could double?” Her
voice finally has a hint of the excitement I’m used to.

I really don’t think
that’s a good idea, but how do I tell her?
Maybe I’ll go for non-committal.
“Yeah, maybe some time.” But the two girls together in my
driveway—that was more than enough weirdness for me.

“Let’s set it up.” She turns toward me.

So, this is why she wanted to know if I was
dating Sky. So she could set us all up on some cozy double date.
I’m sure it’ll bring more than one heart attack worthy moment for
Sky to give me grief over. But not Sarah—she won’t give me grief,
because Sarah and I aren’t real with one another the way we should
be. I don’t know how I never realized it until now. How that one
act of not telling her how I feel, somehow allowed us both to keep
things from each other. Or maybe that’s how most people interact,
and Sky and I are different?

“Why don’t we just see if she still wants to
hang out with me after Friday?” I chuckle and pull the assignment
from my book.

Sarah gives me a relieved look.

“Sarah.” I lean over.

Our teacher stands up to start class.

“What?” she whispers.

“You know you can tell me
stuff, right? We can be honest with each other?”
I guess what I’m really asking is: “Are we still
friends?” But I can’t ask her that, because I know it would hurt
her feelings.

“You’re being weird today, Jamesy.” Her face
turns into the cute Sarah version of a scowl.

I sit back in my seat and
will the next couple of days to pass quickly.
I need it to be Friday.

***

I have an apple with peanut butter and two
huge rolls for lunch. I don’t know why this matters, but I’m
suddenly paying attention to the smaller details of life since I’m
not sharing lunch with Sarah.

I wish Eric and his fake
blond hair would take his hands off her, for just one
second.
He’s eating his burger with one
hand so the other one can wrap around her back. It’s like holding
her hand isn’t enough, or just sitting next to her isn’t
enough.

But I have to admit if Sky
were here, I’d be trying to do the same to her.
How is it possible for me to watch Sarah and wish I could be
Eric, while I’m also wishing for the same thing with
Sky?

The problem is that I really can’t compare
the two. As much as I felt like I’d suffocate a week ago when I
watched Sarah and Eric kiss—I survived it. I’m not healed. Things
aren’t perfect, but at least I can breathe.