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Authors: Mike Sherer

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thought,! startling! herself! in! the! dark.! Her! smile! quickly! faded!

as!she!sat!up!and!looked!through!the!glass,!head!swiveling!to!

get! her! bearings.! She’d! arrived.! She! took! in! the! entire! street,!

suddenly!anxious,!wondering!if!she!might!have!missed!him.!

!

She! was! in! it! for! good! now.! She’d! spent! nearly! eighteen!

months! tracking! down! the! first! one! on! the! list! for! them.! As!

much!as!she!wished!she!could!convince!herself!that!she!didn’t!

know!what!would!happen!once!she!found!the!man,!she!wasn’t!

naïve.!They’d!told!her!what!to!do!to!take!care!of!the!problem.!It!

wasn’t!as!if!she’d!taken!out!a!gun!and!shot!the!man.!It!wasn’t!

like! that.! But! she! knew! the! man! was! dead.! The! explosion! not!

long!before!confirmed!it.!And!this!one,!the!man!she!waited!for,!

was!supposed!to!lead!her!to!the!others.!He!wasn’t!on!their!list,!

but!she!wondered!what!would!happen!to!him!anyway.!

!

God,! she! was! tired.! So! tired.! She! shut! her! eyes! for! just! a!

moment! and! her! head! nodded! until! her! chin! nearly! touched!

her! chest.! She! lifted! it! halfway,! fighting! the! exhaustion,! but! it!

was!so!heavy!sleep!pulled!it!back!down,!dragging!her!thoughts!

with! it! into! dreamland.! Images! swirled! and! collided! in! her!

subconscious! as! she! drifted! from! one! uneasy! dream! into!

another.!
No,* no,* no!
! She! had! to! be! alert! so! she! didn’t! miss!

anything.!!

!

She! woke! with! a! start,! forehead! and! nape! of! her! neck!

damp!with!perspiration!and!peered!out!the!windshield!to!get!

her! bearings! as! tendrils! of! the! dream! slipped! away.! The! sky!

outside!had!lightened!considerably.!!

!

Not! long! now.! She! shifted! on! the! seat! to! get! more!

comfortable,! remembering! now! why! she! had! to! see! this!

through.!Her!sister…!!

Night&Tide
—Sherer&

10&

!

Chapter&3&

!! After!getting!a!once6over!from!an!SFD!paramedic,!I!gave!a!

statement!to!one!of!the!beat!cops!who!showed!up.!I!traversed!

the! remainder! of! my! paper! route! uneventfully,! though!

unsteadily,! ears! still! ringing! and! hair! a! little! singed,! and!

stopped!for!coffee!at!my!usual!spot,!a!restaurant!on!the!south!

end! of! Capitol! Hill.! The! place! suited! my! temperament.! The!

customers—a! swatch! of! humanity! most! of! middle6America!

encounters! only! at! the! circus—provided! a! source! of! free!

entertainment.!The!coffee!was!strong,!the!restaurant!warm!and!

dry.!

!

Charlie!Jones!and!Craig!Downing!already!claimed!a!table!in!

a!far!corner.!Craig!seemed!to!have!adopted!Charlie’s!aversion!

to!sitting!with!his!back!to!the!entrance.!I!didn’t!know!anyone!

besides! cops! and! crooks! who! seemed! to! care! much.! Seattle!

beat!cops,!the!pair!worked!Three6Charlie!in!East,!which!meant!

they! covered! the! Charlie! sector! of! East! Precinct! during! third!

watch.!I!didn’t!think!Charlie!appreciated!the!irony!of!working!

Charlie! sector! half! as! much! as! I! did.! The! two! cops! had! been!

friends! since! Downing! had! been! a! rookie,! partly! because! of!

their! shared! experience! in! Iraq—Downing’s! tour,! though,!

during!the!war!started!by!“W,”!Charlie’s!courtesy!of!Bush!the!

Elder.!!!

!

Charlie!waved!me!over,!a!magnanimous!gesture!from!him.!

Jones! had! been! one! of! my! buddies! in! college,! a! fraternity!

brother!at!UW.!Pre6law!as!an!undergrad,!he!dropped!out!senior!

year!to!enlist!in!the!army!shortly!after!Iraq!invaded!Kuwait.!By!

the!time!they!launched!Desert!Storm,!Charlie!was!trained!and!

ready.!He!happily!shipped!out!to!serve!his!country,!the!allure!

for! Charlie! “giving! those! camel! jockeys! a! wake6up! call.”! After!

Night&Tide
—Sherer&

11&

his! tour,! he! went! back! to! school! but! switched! majors! to!

criminology!and!became!a!cop!instead!of!a!lawyer.!

!

We’d! drifted! apart! over! the! years.! For! a! while! we! half6

heartedly!kept!in!touch,!but!by!then!I!had!a!wife!and!kid,!and!

Charlie’s! career! took! him! a! different! direction.! I! stood! up! for!

him!at!his!wedding.!He!came!to!a!couple!of!Christmas!parties!

Molly!and!I!threw!when!we!were!still!married.!Otherwise,!we!

didn’t!have!much!contact.!

!

That! had! changed! when! I! took! over! the! paper! route.! Our!

paths! tended! to! cross! more.! Literally,! since! we! worked! the!

same!shift!in!the!same!area!of!Capitol!Hill.!And!a!few!months!

earlier!I’d!found!myself!at!odds!with!SPD!over!several!murders,!

including! a! sweet! nonagenarian! friend! of! mine.! Investigators!

thought! I’d! committed! them;! I! didn’t.! Loyal! to! the! badge,!

Charlie! sided! with! SPD.! Until! the! truth! came! out.! But! Charlie!

had!always!been!quick!to!form!an!opinion!and!stick!to!it.!

!

A! few! inches! shy! of! six! feet,! with! an! athletic! build! he’d!

managed! to! keep! trim! over! the! years,! Charlie! had! always!

seemed!big!to!me.!Something!about!the!way!he!carried!himself,!

along! with! that! unerring! self6assurance! that! he! was! always!

right,! inflated! his! presence,! giving! the! impression! he! took! up!

more!space!than!he!really!did.!And!as!I!approached!him!now,!I!

realized!the!passing!years!had!done!little!to!change!him!other!

than!salt!his!temples!with!gray!and!add!character!to!his!boyish!

face.!

!

“Buy!you!coffee?”!Charlie!said.!He!was!still!trying!to!make!

amends.!

!

His!voice!sounded!as!if!it!had!dug!its!way!through!several!

layers!of!cotton!by!the!time!it!reached!my!auditory!nerves.!The!

rumble! of! tympani! that! had! accompanied! me! since! the! gas!

explosion!made!my!head!ache.!

!

“Hey,! Charlie.”! I! eased! into! a! chair! and! nodded! to! Craig.!


Officer*
Downing.”! The! pair! had! been! sitting! a! while! judging!

from!the!amount!of!coffee!remaining!in!their!cups.!

Night&Tide
—Sherer&

12&

!

Downing! grimaced.! “Morning,! Legs.! I’m! off! duty,!

remember?”!

!

I! gave! him! a! tight6lipped! smile! at! the! mention! of! the! old!

nickname.!I!wasn’t!feeling!all!that!sociable!after!the!morning!I’d!

had.! I’d! always! hated! to! lose,! and! though! grateful! beyond!

words!for!being!upright!and!breathing!I!still!couldn’t!figure!out!

how!I’d!lost!Donato.!

!

Charlie! ran! his! fingers! through! wiry! hair! that! was! only! a!

tad!longer!than!a!military!cut.!“You!work!at!the!restaurant!last!

night?”!

!

The!paper!route!barely!covered!rent!and!utilities.!I!washed!

dishes!at!a!Mexican!restaurant!on!weekends.!“No,!why?”!

!

He!shrugged.!“You!look!more!beat!than!usual.!You!okay?”!

!

Reluctantly,!I!related!the!early!morning!incident!that!had!

thrown!me!off!my!normal!routine.!

!

Charlie’s!eyebrows!arched.!“So!
you’re
!the!big!hero.!Heard!

the!call!come!over!the!radio.”!

!

“You’d!have!done!the!same.”!

!

“Not!hardly.!They!don’t!pay!us!enough.”!!

!

Downing!drained!his!cup,!then!tipped!and!rolled!it,!eyeing!

the!inside!to!see!if!any!coffee!had!somehow!eluded!him.!

!

Charlie! eyed! him! briefly,! and! changed! the! set! of! his! jaw.!

“The!old!man!make!it?”!

!

I! swallowed! hard,! a! video! replay! of! the! fireball! running!

though!my!head.!“No.”!

!

Charlie! held! my! gaze! and! finally! nodded.! “Tough! break.! I!

know!you!did!what!you!could.”!!

!

Downing! set! his! cup! down,! cleared! his! throat! and! stood.!

“I’m!heading!home.”!

!

“Okay,!partner.!Be!safe!out!there.”!Charlie!idly!toyed!with!

his!cup,!tearing!little!pieces!off!the!lip!as!he!watched!Downing!

leave.!“He’s!a!good!kid.”!!

!

“Hardly!a!kid,!but!definitely!a!good!guy.”!

Night&Tide
—Sherer&

13&

!

Charlie! swung! his! graying! head! my! way! like! an! old! ram.!

“You’re! still! coming! next! weekend,! right?”! He! saw! my!

hesitation.!“Memorial!Day?!Cookout!with!my!folks?!Any!of!this!

ring!a!bell?”!

!

“Oh,!right.!Sure,!I’ll!be!there.”!!

!

He! frowned.! “You! better! be.! I! swear! I’ll! go! nuts! if! I! don’t!

have!someone!to!talk!besides!my!old!man.!Christ,!you!have!the!

attention!span!of!a!minnow.!Write!it!down,!will!you?”!

!

“Lay!off,!Charlie!!I!don’t!have!to!write!down!
every
thing.!I’ll!

remember,!okay?”!

!

I!didn’t!see!dead!people.!I!wasn’t!a!vampire.!Or!a!zombie6

hunter.!I!wasn’t!a!dream!catcher,!and!I!couldn’t!cast!spells!or!

work!magic.!I!didn’t!have!a!physical!deformity!or!disability—

unless!you!count!being!just!shy!of!six6foot6nine.!I!didn’t!have!a!

readily! identifiable! condition.! I! didn’t! blurt! out! obscenities,!

bark!like!a!dog!or!stutter!and!tic!like!someone!with!Tourette’s.!

I! wasn’t! narcoleptic,! though! I! sometimes! wished! I! could! fall!

asleep!that!easily.!I!didn’t!smell!colors!or!hear!emotions!like!a!

synesthete.!I!couldn’t!claim!the!wild!mood!swings!of!a!manic6

depressive,! but! wouldn’t! have! been! surprised! if! a! shrink!

categorized!me!as!mildly!bi6polar.!Who!isn’t?!!

!

What! I! had! was! a! little! more! insidious! and! pervasive.! A!

disorder! hard! to! diagnose! accurately! and! so! loosely! defined!

lots!of!folks!scoffed!at!the!suggestion!it!was!real!or!debilitating.!

Most! people! thought! pediatricians! and! child! psychologists!

made! it! up! to! help! parents! and! teachers! get! better! control! of!

energetic!or!unruly!kids.!Adults!who!have!it!were!dismissed!as!

whiners! who! just! wanted! a! convenient! excuse! for! bad!

behavior.!But!brain!scans!didn’t!lie.!

!

Many! of! us! with! ADHD! appeared! perfectly! normal.! Even!

the! symptoms! of! our! disorder—inattention,! impatience,!

inability!to!finish!tasks,!chronic!lateness,!disorganization,!risk6

taking—were! all! within! the! realm! of! normal! behavior! taken!

individually! or! even! in! small! clusters.! People! who! witnessed!

Night&Tide
—Sherer&

14&

my! tendencies! to! interrupt! conversations,! make! nonsensical!

statements!or!appear!not!to!be!listening!just!found!me!rude!or!

arrogant.!They!didn’t!suspect!an!underlying!organic!flaw!in!my!

brain!circuitry,!a!chemical!imbalance,!a!comparatively!smaller!

mass! of! gray! cells! in! the! parietal! cortex.! Why! should! they?! I!

was!just!like!them!in!most!ways.!Sort!of.!

!

So! I! forgot! things! occasionally.! Which! is! why! I! kept! lists.!

Even! then,! I! forgot! things.! But! Charlie! could! have! given! me! a!

break!since!I’d!almost!been!blown!up!a!few!hours!earlier.!

!

“Babs!will!be!there,!won’t!she?”!I!said,!lightening!my!tone!

some!to!alleviate!the!tension.!

!

“Sure,!but!she’ll!be!making!girl!talk!with!Connie.!I!need!a!

buffer!between!me!and!Clayt.”!

!

Charlie’s! use! of! his! parents’! first! names! sounded!

discourteous,! even! cheeky.! Manners! had! been! my! mother’s!

bailiwick,!but!my!father!had!insisted!on!respect,!which!meant!

using!titles!when!addressing!one’s!elders.!My!father!had!been!

“Sir”!most!of!the!time,!“Dad”!some!of!the!time,!and!someone!I!

still!feared,!though!he’d!been!dead!for!more!than!twenty!years.!

Charlie’s!parents!were!aging!hippies!who’d!treated!Charlie!and!

his! sister! Sarah! more! like! miniature! adults! than! children!

growing! up.! They’d! called! their! parents! by! name! since! they!

could!talk.!

!

“And!Craig…?”!I!said.!

!

“Has! family! obligations,”! he! finished! for! me.! “And! no,! I!

don’t!have!any!other!buddies!on!the!force!that!are!free.”!

!

“So!you’re!stuck!with!me.”!

!

His! face! lightened.! “Bring! Molly.! Then! we’ll! have! an! even!

number!of!guys!and!girls.”!

!

The!thought!tempted!me.!My!ex6wife!could!beguile!an!Inuit!

out!of!a!sealskin!coat.!“You!know!that!dog!won’t!hunt,!Charlie.!

Besides,!I’m!sure!she’s!busy.!She’s!a!popular!girl.”!

!

“How!do!you!know!unless!you!ask?”!

!

My!resolve!wilted!under!his!stare.!“Fine.!I’ll!ask.”!

Night&Tide
—Sherer&

15&

!

“Good.”!He!swept!the!bits!of!paper!strewn!on!the!table!into!

his!empty!cup!with!his!hand!and!got!to!his!feet.!“I’m!heading!

out.”!

!

He! left! me! alone! nursing! a! bitter! cup! of! burnt! coffee,! old!

memories,! creeping! exhaustion! and! a! sense! of! gratitude! for!

whichever! Fates! had! conspired! to! delimit! flying! glass! and!

flames!to!the!night!air,!not!flesh.!

!

Night&Tide
—Sherer&

16&

!

!

Chapter&4
&

!

!

A! figure! sat! on! the! stoop! of! the! house! in! Madison! Valley!

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