Night's End (18 page)

“I was summoned. I am Dorthea. Luna's great-great-grandmother. And I will be taking possession of this body as needed, until my task is done. My help has been requested, the price has been paid, and so I fulfill my end of the bargain.”

My breath catching in my throat, I stepped to the very edge of the Circle and stared into the silver-tinged eyes of the woman whom I considered my friend. “
What
are you?”

With a dark laugh, Luna let out a long volley of song, a trembling array of notes so beautiful that they hurt my heart. They spiraled up and around, echoing off the walls, ricocheting from door to ceiling to floor to center of the room. It was an orgasm of sound, magic weaving through voice, through sounds so primal they could form no words. But the music spiraled up, like the minarets on a mosque, into the night.

The next moment, I was on my knees, weeping at the song's beauty. She was singing of death, and darkness, and falling into decay—I could see it all, see the dark forms spiraling around her, shadows of the past clinging to her aura. They infused her with their essence, shoring her up. They empowered her as she slowly danced—weaving her song, weaving her magic.

Ysandra slowly crossed to my side, helped me to my feet. She looked almost as entranced as I was, but tears clung to her face, and I knew there was something dark and terrible here—some secret we hadn't been told yet.

Luna came to rest again, so light on her feet it looked like she might be floating an inch above the floor. “I will help you fight this queen of darkness, and my army of shades will move with me. We will move as a blight. You tell us what we are to destroy, and we will seek them out and hunt them down and drain their life from their bodies and souls.”

I staggered back a step. “Such power . . . Luna . . . I didn't know she possessed this ability.”

“She does not—not without our help. But she paid the price when she first opened herself to speak to the ancestors. And she guaranteed a new price tonight, in exchange for the ability to call the spirits. She belongs to us now, and we will give her everything she needs.” Dorthea laughed then, and Luna's expression followed form, turning vicious and malevolent. “We will destroy those who seek to destroy our daughter.”

Ysandra pulled me away past the others, who were staring at the whole scene with horror. As we stumbled into the kitchen, I whirled on her.

“What is going on? What the hell is happening in there?”

“It is as she says. Luna summoned her great-great-grandmother. And Dorthea was apparently a witch of tremendous power. She's working through Luna now and won't desert us until we either win or go down in flames.”

But there was something else. Ysandra's face was normally pale, but I'd never her seen her look like this. Not horror, but a healthy amount of fear and—something more.

“What's going on? Tell me. You know something—that much is obvious. What aren't you telling me?” I grabbed her by the shoulders, not caring whether she could deafen me with one shout.

The witch stared at me, then slowly shook her head. “The price she paid . . . the price she promised . . .”

“What? What is it?”

Ysandra's brow furrowed as she rubbed her head. “Before I could stop her, Luna promised them her life. If we lose, they will let her be. If we win . . . she dies when they choose.” And with that a high-pitched bout of laughter echoed from the living room, going on and on and on.

Chapter 9

“What the fuck did you say?” Before I could help myself, I hauled off and slapped Ysandra across the face. “How could you let this happen?”

“I had no say over the matter.
She
was holding the Circle.
She
called them in.
She's
the one who made the deal. If I'd tried to break in, the spirits would have been free to come and go as they please, and you do not want the spirits riding free, Cicely. They are dark and dangerous and vicious. They will do as they promise because they made a deal, but do not expect them to befriend us, or to be anything but treacherous outside of the bargain they have made.”

I stared at her, horrified. “Why? Why did she do this?”

This time it was Ysandra who grabbed me by the shoulders. “Because we are facing a monster. Because we are at war. Luna was doing what she could to help. And . . .” She stopped and shook her head.

“No, tell me. What is it?” Whatever it was, I wanted to hear.

“You couldn't trust us. I understand why you did what you did. You had to. But Luna . . . having Kaylin—of all people—force himself into her mind and sift through her innermost thoughts? It changed her, Cicely. Consider her a casualty of the war. Because even if she comes through this . . . Even if she makes it out alive somehow, she'll never be the same. And I doubt if she'll ever be your friend again.”

I crouched on the floor, hands over my face. “I broke her. I broke her.”

Ysandra yanked me back up. “Never kneel. You are a queen. You did not break her, but your actions changed her. She was determined to prove herself true to her word. But in doing so . . . she signed her own death warrant.”

My heart plunging, I stumbled back. “How can I fix this? How can I make this better?”

“You can't. Face it—this is what war is like, Cicely. This is what it means to lead a nation and that's what you're doing. You are going to lose people along the way. You just hold on as best you can, and do what you need to do. There is no win-win scenario in a situation like this. Luna, even in her misguided anger, actually did us a favor.”

“A favor? How the hell do you see that?”

Ysandra lowered her voice. “With the dead on our side, we stand a better chance. They can drain the Shadow Hunters' life force. They can't be killed; they're already dead. We have a small army of very deadly soldiers on our side now, thanks to Luna's sacrifice. Don't let it be in vain. Accept what she did and quit whining about it. You can grieve later. There's no time for tears now.”

Grabbing me by the elbow, not giving me any chance to say another word, Ysandra dragged me back into the living room where Luna—or rather, Dorthea—was waiting. She cocked her head, a wicked smile on her face.

“And so, she is back. The Winter Maiden. What say you now: Will you accept our help, or do we ride free of our promise, using my great-great-granddaughter as our mare?”

She'd do it, too. I could tell. She'd take over Luna and rage through the world doing whatever it was that she'd left unfinished. I had no doubt that Dorthea was an intensely powerful witch, and I had no idea what kind of magic she could work. Especially with a host of the dead on her side.

“We accept your help. But I beg you to reconsider—don't take Luna's life in payment. Surely we can think of something else you might want even more.”

“Enough. The body must rest. I will vacate till the need is here, and then I will come and bring my legions with me, and we will decimate your enemy.” And with that Dorthea vanished, and Luna crumbled to the ground as the Circle broke. We could tangibly feel it snap, and the chalk outline on the floor swept open.

“Luna! Luna? Are you all right?” I was by her side, on my knees, before anyone else could move. She stirred, sitting up slowly, holding her head. “Luna, can you hear me?”

“Yes.” Luna pinched her nose between her eyes, grimacing. “I feel sick, and I have a horrible headache.” Then she focused on my face, and her look turned to icy. “Cicely. How did it go in town? I hope everyone's all right.”

I slowly backed off. I knew she meant what she said, but the tone of voice left no question as to her mood. I bit my lip, wanting to beg her to forgive me, but one glance at Ysandra, and I knew I couldn't do that.

“We came through with minimal losses. We took back city hall, and some of Lannan's men are there with the police and some of the Fae.” I reached out to help her up, but she ignored my hand, instead struggling to stand on her own. Grieve gently took my arm, drawing me back as Peyton entered the Circle to help her. Luna let Peyton guide her over to the sofa, which had been pushed out of the way.

“I'm glad everyone's all right.” She was staring at Kaylin as she spoke, but again, her look was cold as ice—cold as my realm—and I realized Luna had erected a wall between us. She was on our side, but she'd never be my friend again. Or Kaylin's. Not unless something happened to shift the balance. “I'm afraid I feel queasy. Ysandra can give you all the details. Peyton, would you take me to my room? I need to rest.”

Peyton gave me a sad, understanding smile, then helped Luna out of the room. As soon as she left, I whirled on Ysandra.

“Tell me, what now? What do I do?”

“I told you. I doubt she'll ever trust you again. Not unless mountains fall and the earth quakes and fire rains from the sky. Or some such miracle. Luna will hold your back, though. Don't ever doubt her loyalty again. She will fall in service to you, even if she curses you doing so.” With a long sigh, Ysandra motioned for us to sit down. “Let me make some tea. It's been a long and grueling evening for everyone.”

“We cannot keep our men so long from the Barrow.” I looked up at Grieve. “What do you think?”

“I will talk to Olrick. He leads the brigade. Stay here.”

As he and Chatter went outside, Rhia and Kaylin joined me on the sofa, and I leaned back, suddenly realizing that I smelled. Looking down at my clothes, I saw the spatters of blood covering me, and I shook my head.

“I honestly don't know what to do next. We can't keep waiting for Myst to make the next move. We can't keep running from fire to fire, cleaning up after her raids. We have to find out where she is and then go on the offense. It's really our only hope.” I wearily accepted a plate of cookies from Peyton as she returned to the room. She sat down opposite me, leaning forward to prop her elbows on knees, hands crossed between her legs.

“That means planning out how to kill her. Finding her won't be the hardest part.” Peyton's gaze flickered over to Kaylin. “Let's get this out of the way, shall we? What you did? I hate you for it, but I understand why you did it, and unlike Luna, I can let it go. So you know my secrets now. But I trust you to keep them to yourself unless you feel they breach some security around Cicely and Rhiannon.”

Kaylin sauntered over. “I would never have done what I did had there been another way. But we have so little time, and so many enemies facing us. Cicely needed me to help, and so we chose the only path we had at the moment. If we'd told you about it beforehand and you
had
been a spy, you could have warned Myst we were onto her. As it is, by now she probably knows, but we needed every second we could buy.”

Peyton shrugged. “I realize that. I may be angry now, but I'm not shortsighted. I know what needs to be done. Luna though . . . you . . .”

“I realize that—the minute I broke through her shields and saw what was there, I knew how this was going to end. It did one thing for me, though.” He shook his head, sounding resigned. “I've accepted there will never be an ‘us'—not with her and me. As much as I hoped there would be, it can't happen. And that frees me to do what I must, once this is over.”

Terribly curious, but realizing that asking would probably make me not only a bitch but a nosy one at that, I waited for a beat. “But Luna poses no danger to the Courts, right?”

“Right.” Pausing for a moment, Kaylin considered a thought, then he motioned to Peyton. “Can you leave us alone for a moment? I know Check and Fearless won't go anywhere, but the rest of you please step outside the room.”

They did, after some grumbling. When they were gone, Kaylin turned to me. “I would normally never tell you what I'm about to, but I think you need to understand something I discovered, in order to fully determine what to do about Luna. I've lived a lot longer than you, so far, and don't throw anything in my face about how you're the Fae Queen now, yada, yada, yada. The fact is, I've seen a lot of life, and too much of people, generally.”

I waited, not sure if I really wanted to hear what he had to say. But he leaned forward and took my hands, and I realized that he really wouldn't tell me anything if he didn't think it was absolutely necessary. Kaylin didn't gossip. He didn't run around spilling secrets.

“When I went through her mind, I came across a memory that Luna had secreted away. Oh, she remembers it, all right, but she keeps it under lock and key, repressed to the point that she rarely ever thinks about it. In fact, she's built up so many layers trying to hide from the memory that she truly, actually believed she'd managed to rid herself of it. Until I dredged through . . . until I raked her mind over the coals and uncovered it.”

Fuck.
“Do I really need to know this? Isn't it just going to make it worse for her?”

“No, because you will never tell her what you know. You will go on acting just the way you did tonight, but perhaps it will stay your tongue if you feel the need to bitch at her or question her stance.” He let out another sigh. “When Luna was a teenager, her uncle came to visit. He was a telepath . . . a slimy bastard. He's dead now, or I'd hunt him down and kill him myself once this war with Myst is over. But, long story short, he sneaked into her room one night, and he raped her.”

When I started to gasp, Kaylin held up his hand. “That's not the worst of it—if you can believe it. He not only had his way with her, but he got inside of her mind. He not only convinced Luna she asked for it, but he filled her mind with self-loathing. He taunted her weight, her looks, her voice—and he convinced her that she'd given him the go-ahead to do what he did.”

“Oh fucking hell. And we drugged her, and then you . . . at my command . . .”

“Oh, it's worse than that. It took Luna five years for the spell to break and her to realize that she hadn't agreed to it. That he'd actually raped her and then made her believe it was her own fault. But while he was in there, he tore through every thought, and he taunted her for years after about her secrets. About her private desires and thoughts.”

Tears welled up as I realized what I'd done. “You pawed through her mind—looking for her secrets. We were looking to see if she was loyal to me, if she was a spy, but that doesn't matter. You . . .”

“I told you it would be a mind-fuck. And it was. And she's been the victim before. This . . . How can either one of us expect her to ever forgive us for this?” Kaylin's voice trembled, but he stayed steady. He shook his head. “I could have loved her and been there for her. . . . But it won't ever happen now. And while I was in there, I understood why it can never happen. And it's not because of what I did. It's because of who I
am
.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I'm afraid that Luna looks at me like I'm a freak, Cicely. A nice one, a talented one, but she sees me as a freak. My demon scares the hell out of her. She could never love me, not the way I want her to, because she could never love my demon. I don't think she even realizes that this is what's been holding her back. It's buried in her subconscious.”

Realizing just how far down the rabbit hole we'd fallen, I sat there as Kaylin called the others in. No matter what Luna said to me, no matter what her reaction, I wouldn't raise a voice or take offense or even protest. How could I? Knowing what I now knew, if she said the sun was blue and the stars were gold, I'd agree.

Ysandra brought in the tea and looked quizzically from Kaylin to me, then back to him, but we both just shook our heads. As Peyton fixed another plate of cookies, the back door opened, and a moment later, Grieve entered the room.

We were eating silently when he came over to my side. “Love, Cicely? The Snow Hag is outside. She wants to talk to you.”

Exhausted, but relieved for the chance to get outside and stretch my legs, I followed my husband to the yard, weighed down by the knowledge of just how much damage I'd done to so many lives.