NIKOLAI (Her Russian Protector #4) (32 page)

"Who, Nikolai? Who is trying to hurt you? Who
wants to hurt us?"

"I think it might be the boss."

"Maksim?"

He wasn't surprised she knew his name. As much
as she snooped around Samovar, she probably knew so much more than
he'd ever imagined. "Yes."

"Oh, God." She touched his jaw. "What do we
do?"

We
. Even
faced with such horror, she wanted to stand by and support him. She
was right. They were married now and truly partners. To navigate
these tricky waters, he could use a sounding board. Vee didn't
understand all the subtle nuances of his world, but she was a quick
learner and she had a keen awareness when it came to relationships
between people.

"Sit up here." He patted the worktable's
surface. Vivian backed up to it, placed her palms on the stainless
steel top and hopped up onto it. He pulled one of the stools over
and sat.

With her legs draped around his waist, she
rested her hands on his shoulders. "Tell me."

"I'm making plans, shifting some alliances.
Lorenzo Guzman got his first shipment from the Irishman a few
nights ago. It went well so he needs me alive. He knows the
Irishman won't trade with him if I'm not in the picture. He doesn't
want someone like Maksim running in this area anyway. They're both
too big and it would never work."

"What if Maksim offers the smaller players in
town a better deal? Like the Albanians and the Hermanos or those
crazy white guys who hate on everyone?"

Maybe she wasn't as uneducated in the nuances
of his world as he'd imagined. "If he makes a move, it will fail.
People don't like change and that's especially true in this line of
work. We all trade on trust and reputation. The Moscow syndicate
has a reputation for being greedy and violent. No one wants that
shit here."

His eyes lowered as her soft fingers moved down
his cheek and along his jaw. "What do I need to do?"

"I need you to be safe. Stick with Sergei and
Danny. Keep your eyes open. If anything seems strange, you
run."

"I promise I'll be really careful."

"I know you will." He hated scaring her and
tried to lessen the ugliness of all that he'd just unloaded on her
by clasping her face and claiming her sweet mouth. Judging by the
sugary chocolate hints clinging to her lips, she'd been eating junk
food all afternoon. When their kiss ended, he glanced around the
room and found her stash of empty wrappers on the other worktable.
"How much sugar have you eaten today?"

"Well…" She toyed with one of his shirt
buttons. "I was upset and Sergei kept pushing those boxes through
the door. I sort of lost track around my fourth
cupcake."

Nikolai frowned at the closed door. When they
were done here, he was going to have a talk with Sergei. He didn't
mind his men spoiling Vivian—God only knew that he did—but giving
her Type II Diabetes by twenty-five wasn't in anyone's best
interests. "You need to eat a real meal."

"Later," she said and gripped his waist with
her legs. She dropped her gaze to her lap with embarrassment and
shame. "You're not leaving until you tell me what I did wrong last
night."

Nikolai ducked his head and tilted
her chin until their gazes met. Peering into her eyes, he asked,
"What
you
did
wrong? Vivian, you didn’t do anything wrong.
I'm
the one who fucked it all
up."

"What do you mean?"

"I scared you. I got too intense. You asked me
to stop."

"I didn't ask you to stop. I asked
you to
wait
. I
just…I wanted to take a little more time to enjoy it
all."

Nikolai blinked. Had he misread her that badly?
"Shit. Vee—I thought I'd broken your trust in me or terrified you
by behaving like an animal."

"Well, I thought maybe you were having problems
because of…" She hesitated and nervously chewed her lip. "Because
of what happened to you when you were little."

The shock of hearing her mention his
molestation nearly knocked him off the stool. He'd suspected that
Lena might have let her read that threatening letter that had been
left on the yacht but this was the first time he'd had it
confirmed. The next time he saw Yuri he was going to kick him right
in the fucking balls for not warning him and allowing him to be
blindsided.

Unable to bear her curious stare, Nikolai
pushed aside her legs and slid off the stool. He turned his back
toward her and tried to get a grip on his wildly vacillating
emotions. Shame and humiliation soured his gut while the strangest
sense of freedom invaded his chest. It was one less secret between
them.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said
that."

Not wanting her to feel guilty, he turned to
face her. Already two shiny rivers dripped down her cheeks. He
shoved aside the stool and wrapped his arms around her. "Vee, it's
fine. I'm glad it's out."

She burrowed closer. "I wanted to tell you so
many times but I didn't know how to bring it up. Lena sent me a
picture of that letter. I read it, and I told her to destroy the
photo and the letter. I knew you wouldn't want anyone to
know."

As he caressed her back, he realized that she'd
known for months. Not once had she treated him any differently. "It
doesn't disgust you?"

She pulled back and stared up at him with
disbelief. "Why would you ask me that? I fucking love you. All of
you. What someone did to you when you were little doesn't make you
less worthy of being loved, and it sure as hell doesn't give people
the right to ridicule or ostracize you."

He didn't know if she'd ever declared her love
for him so stridently. Swallowing the knot clogging his throat, he
admitted, "I find it difficult to be touched by most people. I
don't mind when Yuri, Ivan or Dimitri do it."

"And me?"

He kissed the tip of her nose. "I crave your
touch."

"If you need time, I'm really good at
waiting."

He chortled with amusement. "Vee, I think we've
waited long enough." He brushed the long strands of hair framing
her face behind her ear and wiped the tears from her face. "Don't
cry for me. Not over this. I survived—and I refused to let those
monsters have any power over me."

"So last night…"

"Last night was all me. I had it all so
perfectly planned, but you came in there and you were so fucking
sexy. Once I had my hands on you, my brain short-circuited. I had
to have you. I couldn't wait." His jaw clenched at the memory of
her hands stroking his cock. "I wanted to make love to you—but I'm
not sure I know how."

Vivian's eyes widened with confusion. "But
you've had sex—"

"I've had plenty of sex," he
interrupted. "It's not the same. I've only ever
fucked
a woman. That's not what I
want with you. Before you, it was always about the quickest way to
find release. It was rough and dirty and hard. I don't want that
with you. I want it to mean something."

She gulped and licked her lips. "Well, you
know, maybe someday we could try it that way? Because that actually
sounds really hot."

Nikolai laughed and was glad for the moment of
levity. "I'm sure we will."

She gripped his hands. "Look, I guess, in a
way, we're both virgins."

His lips twitched with amusement at the very
thought of being considered pure or inexperienced. "You might say
that."

"So we just…we take it slow." With a
mischievous grin, she added, "And even if you totally screw it up,
I won't know right? What else do I have to compare it to,
Kolya?"

He snorted with amusement. "You really know how
to encourage a man."

She brushed her silken pout against his mouth.
"Just shut up and kiss me already."

As he captured her mouth, Nikolai doubted this
was going to end with one simple kiss.

*

There was no way this was ending with one kiss.
I might be the inexperienced one in our marriage but I knew what I
wanted—and I was getting it. Right now. Right here.

When his tongue delved between my lips, I
pushed his jacket off his shoulders. He shrugged out of it and
tossed it aside, narrowly missing the wet paint on the palette. I
had a feeling he didn’t care if he ruined it.

"Wait," Nikolai said with a surprised laugh as
I started yanking on his tie. "Here?"

"Here." I jerked his tie free and let it fall
to the floor. "Who knows when we'll get another chance?"

My question seemed to win him over. While he
claimed me with a demanding kiss, Nikolai toed off his shoes and
started unbuttoning his shirt. I ran my hands along his exposed
chest, careful of the still healing wound in his shoulder, and
shoved the shirt off his body. As it fluttered to the floor,
Nikolai grasped the bottom of my dress and tugged it toward my
waist. "Lift your bottom."

He didn’t have to tell me twice. I hurriedly
complied with his order and soon sat in just my undies and the
tights I'd worn to keep my legs warm. They didn't stand much of a
chance with Nikolai. In four quick jerks, he divested me of the
dark tights. My bra took him all of five seconds to remove. Only my
panties remained.

Nikolai glanced around the room. I could tell
he was looking for a suitable place to ravish me. Finally, he
settled on the drop cloth. Picking me up, he said, "It won't be the
most comfortable spot."

"I don't care." I really didn't. I was on fire
now. My whole body burned with desire. "The door?"

Nikolai took me down to the floor and kneeled
at my feet. "It's locked. We're safe."

From prying eyes maybe but from the shadowy
threats against us? Never.

Refusing to think about the nightmare that
awaited us, I grasped his belt. "Take this off. I want to feel you
again. All of you."

His sexy grin made me shiver with anticipation.
Nikolai stood up just long enough to unbuckle his belt and unzip
his pants before shoving them down his legs. He stepped out of them
and discarded them in the growing pile of clothing on the edge of
the drop cloth.

Leaning back on my hands, I watched him strip
out of his black boxer briefs. I couldn't believe he had even more
tattoos hidden beneath the dark cotton. His thighs were marked with
prison symbols and the ink trophies of robberies done
right.

But it was his stiff cock that really held my
attention. I didn't have anything to compare it to other than the
few dirty movies Lena and Erin had dared me to watch over the
years. Straight off, I could tell that he was uncut and different
than most of the guys I'd seen in those porn flicks. Long and
thick, his erection promised to be a difficult obstacle for this
first time.

As if sensing my fear, he promised, "We'll go
slowly. Very, very slowly."

Like a sleek jungle cat, he lowered himself to
the drop cloth and crawled toward me. I giggled like crazy as he
peppered ticklish kisses up my thighs and across my hips. When he
encountered the first scar from the night he'd shot me, he
faltered. I lifted my head to watch him. There was no mistaking the
guilt marring his handsome face.

He reverently kissed the three puckered scars
dotting my belly and chest. In between each kiss, he whispered
sweetly to me in Russian, calling me his love, his sweetheart, his
sun. I closed my eyes and relished the feel of his mouth on my
naked skin.

Though this was nothing like the way I'd
imagined my first time, I knew this was the way it was always
supposed to be. There weren't any candles or rose petals or fluffy
white bedding but I didn’t need any of that. I just needed
Nikolai.

As he made love to my mouth, I sifted my
fingers through his thick hair. He palmed my breasts and
masterfully played with my nipples. Each tweak and tug made me gasp
and arch into him. My breasts felt so heavy, and the ruddy, swollen
peaks practically buzzed. Nikolai soothed the rawness of his
slightly rough play with his wicked tongue.

"Kolya…" His name left my lips on a pleasured
sigh.

The hand that had been sensually
tormenting my breasts slowly glided down the front of my body,
riding the sloping curve of my belly to the vee between my thighs.
His smoky gaze held mine as he lightly petted my bare sex. My heart
beat so hard and fast I could hardly hear anything but the
whoosh
of blood against
my eardrums.

Overcome with heat and the slightest panic of
embarrassment, I buried my face against his neck as Nikolai gently
explored my secret place. He was so incredibly careful as he parted
the delicate folds to reveal my clit. Already that tiny pink pearl
throbbed incessantly.

"Can you tell me what feels good?"

I squeaked nervously. The thought of voicing
the way his fingers felt as they circled my clit was too
much.

"Look at me," he ordered gruffly. He softened
the harsh edge of his voice with a tender kiss. "If you can't tell
me, then show me. Let me see your face."