Niubi! (4 page)

歇菜
xiē cài
(
shih tsigh
)

Knock it off; quit it. Literally “rest vegetable.” A slangy but mild way to tell someone to stop doing something. Used in northern China only.

 

你吃错药了吗?
Nǐ chī cuò yào le ma?
(
nee chih tswuh yow luh ma
)

Did you take the wrong medicine? A mildly insulting way to imply that someone is acting rude or strange.

 

去!
Qù!
(
chee
)

Shut up! Literally “go.” Usually said affectionately.

 

 

去你的!
Qù nĭ de!
(
chee nee duh
)

Get lost! Stop it! Up yours! Literally “go to yours.”

 

 

闭嘴!
Bì zuǐ!
(
bee dzway
)

Shut up! Literally “close mouth.” A more emphatic option is 你给我闭嘴!
Nǐ gěi wǒ bìzuǐ
! (
nee gay wuh bee dzway
), literally “Shut your mouth for me!”

 

 

切!
Qiè!
(
chyih
)

A noise expressing disdain. Equivalent to saying “Please!” or “Whatever.”

 

 

烦
fán
(
fahn
)

Irritating, annoying, troublesome. Common uses include 你烦不烦啊！
Nǐ fán bù fán a!
(
nee fahn boo fahn ah
), meaning “You’re really freaking annoying!” (literally, “Aren’t you annoying!”), and 烦死人了你！
Fánsǐ rén le nǐ!
(
fahn sih ren luh nee
): “You’re annoying me to death!”

 

 

你恨機車
nǐ hěn jīchē
(
nee hun gee chuh
)

You’re really annoying. Taiwan slang for someone who is bossy or picky or otherwise annoying. Literally, “You are very motorcycle” or “You are very scooter.” It’s also common to just say 你恨機
nǐ hěn jī
(
nee hun gee
) for short. Supposedly, this expression originally came from 雞歪
jīwāi
(
gee why
), meaning one’s dick is askew.

 

你二啊!
nǐ èr a!
(
nee er ah
)

You’re so stupid. Literally, “You’re [number] two.” 二
Er
(
er
) means “two” in Chinese, but in northeast China it can also be slang for “stupid” or “silly,” referring to 二百五
èrbǎiwǔ
(
er buy woo
) (see page 19).

脑子坏了吧？
nǎozi huài le ba?
(
nee now dz hwie luh bah
)

Is your brain broken? Used exactly the way you’d use the English phrase.

 

你瞎呀?
nǐ xiā ya?
(
knee shah yah
)

Are you blind? Used, for example, when someone steps on your foot.

 

太过分了
tài guòfèn le
(
tie gwuh fen luh
)

This is outrageous! This is going too far! Literally “much too far.”

 

受不了
shòubùliǎo
(
show boo lyaow
)

Literally “unacceptable” and can mean “This is unacceptable” or “I can’t take it.” A stronger form is 真受不了
zhēn shòubùliǎo
(
jen show boo lyaow
), literally “really unacceptable.”

 

你敢？
nǐ gǎn?
(
nee gahn
)

Literally, “Do you dare?” and used in a challenging way when arguing or playing around. It’s like saying, “Go ahead—I dare you!”

 

讨厌
tǎoyàn
(
taow yen
—the first syllable rhymes with “cow”)

Disgusting, troublesome, nuisance, nasty. Can also be a verb that means “to hate” (doing something). However, it is also common for girls to say this word by itself to express petulance, frustration, or annoyance.

 

你很坏!
nǐ hěn huài!
(
nee hun hwigh
)

You’re so bad! Often used between friends in an unserious way or flirtingly between couples. However, like the rest of these expressions it can also be used in a genuinely angry way, perhaps by a mother toward a child. For example, 你怎么那么坏
nǐ zěnme nàme huài
(
nee dzuh muh nuh muh hwigh
) means literally “How can you be so bad?” and is like saying, “
What
is wrong with you?”

 

 

恶心
ěxīn
(
uhh sheen
)

Nauseating, disgusting, gross. Alternately, 真恶
zhēn ě
(
jen uhh
), “very nauseating” or “so gross.”
Ěxīn
can also be used as a verb to mean “to embarrass someone” or “to make someone feel uncomfortable or awkward.”

 

没门儿
méi ménr
(
may murr
)

No way! Fat chance! A rude, curt way to say no. Literally “no door.” Used in Beijing.

 

 

废话
fèihuà
(
fay hwa
)

Nonsense. Literally “useless words.” An extremely common expression. Northern Chinese sometimes instead say 费!
fèi!
(
fay
), literally “wasteful,” to mean “Nonsense!”

 

 

瞎说
xiāshuō
(
shah shwuh
)

To talk nonsense. Literally “to speak blindly.” Common usages include 别瞎说
bié xiāshuō
(
byih shah shwuh
), meaning “don’t be ridiculous” or “stop talking nonsense”, and 你瞎说
nǐ xiāshuō
(
nee shah shwuh
), “you’re talking nonsense” or “you’re full of crap.”

Any of the following synonyms may be swapped for
xiāshuō
in the two samples given above:

 

扯淡
chědàn
(
chuh dahn
)

To talk nonsense, to bullshit (but not as profane as “bullshit”). Used in northern China.

 

放屁
fàngpì
(
fahng pee
)

Bullshit, nonsense, lies, whatever, shut up! Literally “fart.” Used as a mild expletive.

 

狗屁
gǒupì
(
go pee
) or 放狗屁
fàng gǒupì
(
fahng go pee
)

Bullshit, nonsense. Literally “dog fart” and “release a dog fart,” respectively.

 

有屁快放
yǒu pì kuaì fang
(
yo pee kwigh fahng
—
kuaì
rhymes with “high”)

A more vulgar way to say “Spit it out!” or “If you have something to say, hurry up and say it.” Literally means, “If you need to fart, hurry up and let it out.”

 

屁话
pìhuà
(
pee hwa
)

Bull, nonsense. Literally “fart talk.” Can be exclaimed alone to mean “Nonsense!” or “Yeah, right!”

 

狗屁不通
gǒupì bùtōng
(
go pee boo tohng
)

Incoherent, nonsensical. Literally “dog unable to fart.” Exclaimed in response to something, it means roughly “that makes no sense” or “that’s total bull.” Can also be used as an adjective to describe someone who doesn’t know what they’re talking about.

书呆子
shūdāizi
(
shoo die dz—
zi
sounds like saying a very short
bzz
, but with a
d
sound instead of the
b
)

Bookworm, nerd, lacking social skills. Literally “book idiot.” 呆子
Dāizi
means “idiot” or “fool” but is not often said alone.

 

懒虫
lǎnchóng
(
lahn chong
)

Lazy bones. Literally “lazy bug.” Said affectionately.

 

小兔崽子
xiǎotù zǎizi
(
shaow too dzigh dz—
zǎi
rhymes with “high”)

Son of a rabbit. A gentle, teasing insult common among older people and directed at younger people. Ironically, parents often use this term to tease their children.

 

傻冒 / 傻帽
shǎmào
(
shah maow
)

A gentle, affectionate jest—closer to something silly like “stupidhead.” Literally “silly hat.” 傻
Shǎ
(
shah
) means “silly” or “dumb.”

 

傻瓜
shǎguā
(
shah gwah
)

Dummy, fool. Literally “silly melon.” An extremely common insult, mostly used affectionately, and in use as early as the Yuan dynasty (1279-1368).

 

呆瓜
dàiguā
(
die gwah
)

Dummy, fool. Literally “silly melon.”

 

面
miàn
(
myinn
)

Northern Chinese slang for “timid” or “weak.” Literally “wheat flour,” as in the ingredient for noodles and bread, suggesting that the person is soft and flimsy as those foods.

 

面瓜
miànguā
(
myinn gwah
)

Timid, coward. Literally “timid melon” (or still more literally “flour melon”). Used only in northern China.

 

白痴
báichī
(
buy chih
)

Perhaps the most universal and commonly used term for “idiot” or “moron.”

 

十三点
shísān diǎn
(
shh sahn dyinn
)

A mild, usually affectionate insult meaning “weirdo” or “crazy.” Literally “thirteen o’clock.” Originated in Shanghai and used a bit in other parts of southern China as well, though it is fast falling out of favor and is mainly used by older people now. The term refers to the
chī
in
báichī
(above), as the character for
chī
, 痴, is written using thirteen strokes. Other theories maintain that it refers to an illegal move in a gambling game called pai gow, 牌九
páijiǔ
(
pie joe
) in Mandarin, or that it refers to an hour that clocks do not strike (though nowadays thirteen o’ clock is possible in military time).

 

半弔子 / 半吊子
bàn diàozi
(
bahn dyow dz
)

Someone deficient in skill or mental ability. In ancient China, copper coins had square holes in the center and were strung together on a string. One thousand coins strung together formed a
diào
. Half of that (five hundred coins) was called 半弔子 / 半吊子
bàn diàozi
(
bahn dyow dz
). Northern Chinese only, and seldom used today, but necessary to understand the more commonly used insult below.

 

二百五
èrbǎiwǔ
(
er buy woo
)

Dummy, idiot, moron. Literally “two hundred fifty,” referring to half a
bàn diàozi
(see above). This is an extremely common insult; everyone knows it and probably grew up hearing it a lot, but like
shísān diǎn
(above), it’s considered a bit old-fashioned now.

A number of (usually) affectionate Chinese insults involve eggs. They most likely come from the much stronger insult 王八蛋
wángbādàn
(
wahng bah dun
), literally “son of a turtle” or “turtle’s egg” and equivalent to “son of a bitch” or “bastard” in English. (The possible origins of
wángbādàn
are explained in the next chapter.) The insults below are mild and have shed any profane associations, much in the way we English speakers have mostly forgotten that phrases like “what a jerk,” “that bites,” and “sucker” originally referred to sex acts.

 

笨蛋
bèndàn
(
ben dahn
)

Dummy, fool. Literally “stupid egg.” 笨
Bèn
(
ben
) alone can be used in many insults and means “stupid.”

 

倒蛋 / 捣蛋
dǎodàn
(
daow dahn
)