No Greater Love (41 page)

“At first he said we did and I was too drunk to remember it. And then he admitted we didn’t. But we were supposed to get married in Paris, and he was always too drunk to do it,” Alexis cried, and Edwina almost laughed with joy as she glanced at Patrick.

“You can’t take her,” Stone tried to bluff his way through. “She’s my common-law wife. I won’t let you take her.” And then he had another thought. “Besides,” he said hopefully, seeing gold slipping through his fingers, “what if she’s pregnant?”

“I’m not,” Alexis answered instantly, much to Edwina’s relief. At least that much was sure. And Alexis
went to stand next to Edwina then, and looked sadly at Malcolm.

“You never loved me, did you? I never was your little girl…”

“Sure you were.” He looked embarrassed in front of all of them, and glanced at Alexis again. “We could still get married, you know. You don’t have to go with them, unless you want to.”

But Edwina left no misapprehension in either of them as she looked at him and then at her sister. “I will remove her physically, if I have to.”

“You can’t do that.” Malcolm took a step toward her again, and then suddenly looked at Patrick as though for the first time. “And who’s he anyway?”

Edwina had been about to answer him when Patrick cut her off and looked menacingly at Malcolm. “I am a magistrate. And if you say one more word, or detain this child any further, we shall put you in jail and hasten to deport you from the country.” But as Patrick said the words, for the first time, Malcolm Stone looked truly deflated. He watched as Patrick opened the door, and Edwina walked her out. And Alexis only looked back once over her shoulder. A moment later they were all downstairs again, and the nightmare was ended, as Edwina thanked God that Alexis had never married him, and prayed that she would get her back to San Francisco without anyone ever knowing what had happened. And as for Alexis’s movie career, she could kiss that goodbye. From now on, Edwina promised herself, Alexis was going to stay home with Fannie and learn to make bread and oatmeal cookies. But what made her saddest of all was knowing that no matter how much love Edwina had given her over the years, it had never been enough, and she had sold herself in her futile search for a daddy.

She said as much to Patrick later that night, once Alexis was in Edwina’s bed at Claridge’s. There had
been a long tearful scene, hysterical apologies, and Alexis begging Edwina for forgiveness. None of which had been necessary, as Edwina held her in her arms and they both cried, and at last she had fallen asleep, and Edwina had come back outside into the living room, to talk to Patrick.

“How is she?” He looked worried, it had been a long evening for all of them, but they had come out of it a lot better off than Patrick had expected. The girl was basically fine, and Malcolm Stone had been surprisingly easy to dispose of.

“She’s asleep, thank God,” Edwina answered with a sigh as she sat down, and he poured her a glass of champagne. “What a night.”

“What a dreadful character he was. Do you think he’ll come back to haunt you?” She had wondered about it herself, but there was little she could do about it now, other than tell George and have him blacklisted, but she wasn’t anxious to do that either.

“I don’t know. I hope not. It doesn’t exactly make him look like a prince either. Thank God he was too lazy to marry her. We could have had it annulled, of course, but it would have complicated everything, and I’m sure then it would have ended up in the papers.”

“And now?”

“With luck, I can sneak her back into the country, and no one will know. Do you suppose I can get a passport for her here?”

“I’ll talk to the embassy for you tomorrow.” He knew the American ambassador well, and hopefully he could get a passport for her, without too many questions. As Malcolm Stone had done, he was just going to say she lost it, while traveling with her sister.

“Would you do something else for me too?” She had wanted to ask him that ever since she had discovered that Charles was his cousin. “Will you call Lady Fitzgerald
for me? I know she must be rather old by now.” She hadn’t been young eleven years before. “But if she’s willing to, I’d like to see her.”

He was quiet for a moment and then he nodded.

“I need to say good-bye to her,” she said softly. She had never had the chance to do that before. And most of all, she had needed to say good-bye to Charles, and Patrick had finally helped her do that.

“I’ll call her tomorrow too.” And then regretfully, he kissed her good-bye. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“I love you,” she whispered, and he smiled and pulled her close to him again.

“I love you too.” But they both knew now that the end was near. If she was going to get Alexis home quietly, she’d have to go soon. And Edwina hated the thought of leaving Patrick.

THE NEXT MORNING, ALEXIS GOT A DREADFUL FRIGHT WHEN
Patrick appeared. She opened the door to him and then went running to find Edwina.

“The magistrate is here again!” she whispered in urgent tones, and Edwina went to see what he wanted. But she exploded into gales of laughter when she saw him.

“That’s not the magistrate,” she laughed, “that’s Patrick Sparks-Kelly, my friend.” And then she added by way of explanation to Alexis, and because she felt she had to justify knowing him so well, “He’s Charles’s cousin.”

“But I thought … you said …” Alexis looked like a child again, the makeup washed off, the hair as simply combed as Edwina could get it. She had done some awful things to it in Paris. And now Alexis smiled, looking clean and beautiful again as Edwina explained that Patrick had only pretended to be a magistrate to frighten Malcolm.

“Just in case your friend gave us trouble,” he explained. And then he told Edwina all she had to do was pick the passport up at Number 4 Grosvenor Gardens and then he told her quietly that Lady Fitzgerald was expecting them at eleven.

“Was she surprised to hear from me?” Edwina didn’t want to provide too great a shock. She had calculated that she would be well into her seventies by then.

But Patrick shook his head. “I think she was more surprised that I knew you.”

“How did you explain that?” She looked at him worriedly. They had so much to hide, even from Alexis.

“I just told her we met on the ship.” He smiled. “A happy coincidence … for me …”

“Do you think it will upset her too much to see me?” she asked worriedly, and he shook his head again.

“Not at all. I think she made her peace with it a long time ago, far more than you did.”

And when they met later that morning, Edwina realized that it was true. Lady Fitzgerald welcomed her openly, and sat and talked with Edwina for a long time, while Patrick and Alexis strolled in her splendid gardens.

“I always hoped you’d marry someday,” she said sadly, looking at Edwina. She had been such a pretty young girl, and she still was. It seemed a waste to her to learn that she’d never married. “But I suppose you couldn’t with all the children to raise. How terrible that your mother went down with your father. It was an awful thing … so many lives … such waste and all because the company was too foolish to carry enough lifeboats … the captain too stubborn to slow his ship in the face of icebergs … the radio on the nearest ship shut off … it used to trouble me terribly, and in the end I had to decide that it was fate that Charles
didn’t survive it. You see, my dear, that is destiny. You must be grateful to be alive, and enjoy every moment.”

Edwina smiled at her, fighting back tears again, remembering the first time they’d met, with Charles, and the wedding veil she’d sent when it was completed, even though he was gone by then, and Edwina would never wear it. She thanked her again and Lady Fitzgerald explained why she’d sent it.

“I felt wrong keeping it. And even though I knew it would upset you at the time, I thought that you should have it.”

“My sister-in-law wore it last month, and she looked beautiful.” She promised to send a photograph and the old woman smiled, looking tired. Her husband had died the year before and she herself was not in the best of health, but it had warmed her heart to see Edwina.

“Your younger sister is a very pretty girl, my dear, not unlike you at her age, except that of course her hair is so much lighter.”

“I hope I wasn’t quite as foolish as she is.” Edwina smiled, flattered by the compliment of being even remotely compared to Alexis.

“You weren’t foolish at all. And you’ve been very brave since then … very brave … perhaps now you will be lucky as well, and find someone who loves you. You’ve hung on to him for all these years, haven’t you?” She had sensed that about Edwina the moment they had started to talk, and with tears brimming in her eyes, Edwina nodded. “You must let him go now,” she whispered, gently kissing Edwina’s cheek, and for an instant she was so deeply reminded of Charles that she almost couldn’t bear it. “He’s happy now, wherever he is, as your parents are. Now you must be happy, too, Edwina. All three of them would want that.”

“I’ve been happy,” she protested, blowing her nose in
the handkerchief she still had from Patrick, and she wondered briefly if Lady Fitzgerald saw it. But she was too old to notice details like that, or to care whose handkerchief Edwina carried. “I’ve been happy with the children for all these years.”

“That’s not enough,” Charles’s mother scolded, “and you know it. Will you come back to England sometime?” she asked as they stood up and walked slowly out into the garden. Edwina felt drained, but she was glad she had come, and she knew that what Lady Fitzgerald said was true. They would have wanted her to be happy again. She couldn’t hide anymore. She had learned that with Patrick. And now she was going to have to say good-bye to him too. Her life seemed to be full of painful good-byes at the moment.

She kissed Lady Fitzgerald good-bye at noon, and she felt lighter and happier when she did than she had in a long time, and she talked about her to Patrick over lunch, and said what a nice woman she was. And he agreed, as did Alexis.

He took them to lunch at the Ritz, and afterward they booked their passage on the
Olympic
and then went to pick up Alexis’s passport. They were fortunate, they were told. The
Olympic
was leaving the following morning, and Edwina suddenly felt a wave of panic wash over her at the thought of leaving Patrick. She glanced quickly at him and he nodded his head, and she booked two adjoining first-class staterooms for herself and Alexis.

But Alexis had grown up a great deal in the past few weeks, and she made a point of leaving them alone that night and claiming to be utterly exhausted.

“You don’t suppose she’s sneaking off again, do you?” Patrick asked her worriedly as he left to take Edwina to the Embassy Club for dinner.

But Edwina laughed at him, and assured him that this time she felt sure Alexis had learned her lesson.

And once again, the evening went too quickly and all too soon they were back at Claridge’s again, and there was no way to share the tenderness that they had had in Ireland. She wanted to make love to him again, but they both knew that it was just as well that they didn’t.

“How am I going to say good-bye to you, Patrick? I’ve only just found you.” It had taken her eleven years to say good-bye to Charles, and now she had to let his cousin go in a single moment. “Will you come to Southampton with us tomorrow?” But he shook his head sadly.

“That would be too hard for both of us, wouldn’t it? And it might be unsettling for Alexis.”

“I think she knows anyway.”

“Then you are both going home with dark secrets.” He kissed her gently then, and they both knew that nothing they had shared had been anything but light and beautiful, and in some hidden, secret way, Edwina knew that be had freed her.

“Will I see you again?” she asked as he left her outside Claridge’s.

“Perhaps. If you come back. Or I go there. I’ve never been to California.” And she doubted that he ever would. It was exactly what he had said from the first, they both had to let go, to let each other fly free forever. She felt the gift from him on her arm, where it always would be, and his touch on her heart, but the rest would be gone, a distant, happy memory he had given her for a few weeks, to free her from the bonds that had chained her for so long. “I love you,” he whispered just before he left her. “I love you desperately … and I always will … and I will smile each time I think of you … I will smile, as you should, each time I think of Ireland.”
He kissed her then one last time, as she cried, and he left in his car without looking back. She stood for a long, long time, crying and then slowly, she walked back into Claridge’s, knowing how much she had loved him.

THEY LEFT AT EIGHT O’CLOCK THE NEXT DAY, FOR
Southampton, as they had done years before, but this time, just the two of them, two sisters, two friends, two survivors. They were quiet as they drove away, and Alexis suspected there was a lot on Edwina’s mind. And for a long time, Edwina only sat staring out the window.

They boarded the
Olympic
on time, and still feeling nervous about being on a ship at all, the two women went to their staterooms. And then Edwina surprised Alexis by saying that she was going on deck to watch them sail. She went alone, as her younger sister had no desire to see it.

And she stood on deck, as the huge ship slipped its moorings, and just as she left the dock and moved away, Edwina saw him there. It was as though she had known that he would be there. Patrick stood on the dock, waving solemnly, watching her, and she blew him a kiss as she cried, and touched her heart. And he touched his.
And she saw him wave as long as she could, until the ship was far, far away, but Edwina knew she would always remember Patrick.

It was a long time before she went back downstairs, and she found Alexis asleep on her bed. For both of them, the trip had been exhausting.

They had their lifeboat drill that day, and all Edwina could think of now was Patrick, not Charles … their walks around the deck, their endless hours of talking, his going to the lifeboat drill with her … the night they danced, she in the borrowed dress … it made her smile thinking of it all, and as she looked overhead she saw a bird flying past and was reminded of what he had told her. No matter what happened between them, he was going to set her free to find her way home. They had their own lives, their own worlds, and there was no way that they could ever be together. But at thirty-two she had loved and been loved by two men and she felt strangely grown up as they steamed home, and even Alexis saw it.