No Holding Back (32 page)

“R-Right! I
’m sorry, sir! I just…” Wade began. But at that point, he just wanted to get out
some
words, if any. “I just wanted to…to tell you…that…I think your daughter Chris-
tine
! I think she’s…she’s very special.”

But the
Colonel hardly seemed impressed with his opening statement and sighed out loud.

“You came all the way here
to tell me…
that
?”

Wade
wanted to kick himself for his weak choice of words, and so he closed his eyes briefly and shook his head.

“And to tell you…
that-.”

“No, you let
me
tell you something, son!”

And just like that, the
Colonel flew to the edge of his seat and Wade couldn’t help but feel like kitten being shadowed by a lion.

“I don
’t know why the hell I’m even going to bother tellin’ you this when I’m fightin’ every gut instinct to throw you outta my god damn house!” The Colonel seethed and his mustache twitched in excited irritation. “But since you have the decency to show me some
semblance
of respect, I’m gonna let you in on a little family secret.”

Wade had no idea if the
Colonel was being sarcastic or genuine, but he listened intently all the same.

“Don
’t think I haven’t seen you looking at all the pictures in my home. Notice anything…out of place?”

Wade felt gu
ilty about his gentle spying but meekly pointed out, “Chris’ mother?”

“Very good. At least you
’re
smart
punk ass kid.”

Wade
’s eyes fell to the floor but he remained silent, hoping the Colonel would continue.

“What do you think of our little town here, hm?”

“I…think it’s perfect,” Wade admitted.

“Oh? You
think
so?” The Colonel’s nostrils flared and Wade began to think he had a knack for making him upset. “Well, our
perfect
town has a bit of dark history I think I should enlighten you to.”

Now, it was Wade
’s turn to come to the edge of his seat.

“You see, just after Christine was born…her mother died. Did she ever tell you how?”

“She…said it was a car accident.”

“
If only it was that simple,” he stated. “My wife took a walk one day and some punk ass kid, who looked a lot like
you
, decided to take a joy ride and had his ‘rock music’ turned up a little too loud. And can you guess what happened next,
Wade
?"

Wade didn
’t have to wait long for him to continue. The Colonel pounded his fist into the arm rest of his chair, making Wade jump yet again.

“
He took a
life
that day!”

Wade thought
he’d relieve his bowls right in front of Chris’ father but he did his best to hold it together. Eventually, he settled back into his chair, but his words, however, seethed nothing but pure disgust at Wade.

“He broke almost every bone in her body
,” he quietly admitted. “She didn’t even make it to the hospital before she bled to death. And I’ll be god
damned
if my own daughter didn’t grow up listening to the same shit that took Sara from me!”

The truth of it all hit Wade like a ton of bricks and he couldn
’t stop as his eyes welled with tears. He knew the gruesome truth behind her father’s underlying hatred of the music that Chris fell in love with. The very reason Wade lived and breathed was the same reason he never saw a picture with the three of them together.

Tired of holding back
, Wade let his emotions go and threw everything on the line. And when he spoke again, he was amazed at the tranquility in his own voice.

“Sir?
I’m not here to defend the actions that left you without a wife - or Christine without a mother. But I do have a story of my own…and it’s one I think you should hear.”

The
Colonel looked at Wade wearily, but allowed him to continue. Wade reached down inside his pocket and felt around for the piece of metal and fabric that he knew was there until he pulled out something small, worn with age and time, and set it down on the glass coffee table with a gentle ‘clink.’

The
Colonel reached over and gingerly picked it up - inspecting the violet colored fabric and bronze cast and immediately recognized it as the Purple Heart.

“That
belonged to my father. He was an officer in the 442
nd
Infantry Division and did two tours in Vietnam. The second time," Wade swallowed. “He came home to us in a box.”

Wade
’s voice dropped to an all-time low. He spoke of his sordid past to maybe a handful of people because when he did, he barely kept his emotions in check and this time was no different, nor was it any easier.

“The 442
nd
was one of the most decorated infantry units in Vietnam. You should be proud of your father,” the Colonel remarked with an uncanny gentleness that Wade never thought possible.

“Try telling that to a distraught five-year old,” Wade replied
, although there was no malice in his voice, just a thick knot that he wished to hell would go away.

“One night, I couldn
’t stop crying. But my mother came to me, held me by the shoulders and said, ‘Wade, don’t you ever despise the choices your father made. He did what he loved…and he loved you, too.’”

Despite W
ade’s attempt to control own emotions, he felt the hot tears literally push themselves out of his eyes and down his cheeks. But in front of Chris’ father, he put embarrassment aside and fought to drive his point home, even if it killed him.

“Sir,
please don’t despise the choice your daughter has made because she’s doing what she loves,” Wade begged, staring directly into the eyes of her father. “She has God-given talent, and she doesn’t hold anything back. And you should
hear
thousands of people scream her name.”

The
Colonel paused for a moment before he wiped away at his eyes but Wade couldn’t stop himself when more words rode past his lips.

“And I…
am completely in love with her.”

The
Colonel’s expression then molded into one of disbelief. He sat and stared at Wade, almost as if he didn’t know what to say. The two sat in akward silence for ages before the Colonel stood up, placed the medal gently back on the coffee table, and walked away from Wade, purposefully keeping his back to him.

Wade watched as he stood there for a few minutes but said nothing. He seemed to be deep in thought and he wondered what he was thinking. Did he get through to him? Will it even matter?

Was he too late?

Then, he walked over
to a staircase that Wade hadn’t noticed before, and yelled.

“Christine! Front
‘n center!”

Wade jumped in surprise at the volume of a voice that nearly matched his own. But the reality of what was happening gripped him suddenly. He
came to his feet and swiped the medal off the table and shoved it back into his pocket.

As he heard soft footsteps
stir to life above him, his heart began to race again. His nerves were beyond shot and he worked hopelessly to try and tidy his unkempt appearance, even running his hands over his messy hair again.

Soon,
slender thin legs wrapped in denim slowly began to appear. Bare feet took one fateful step after another until Wade was looking at the female version of Heretic’s drummer. Her hair was tied back into a simple pony-tail and in nothing more than a t-shirt and jeans, but if there was any other time Wade thought she looked more stunning, he couldn’t remember it.

“Yeah, Dad?”
she said, her attention momentarily diverted to her father. But when she saw Wade in her dining room, she was gripped by surprise. “Wade? H-How did you get here? I thought th-.”

As her voice trailed off,
her surprise turned to hurt. “Come for another pack of smokes?”

The pain in her voice was more than what Wade could bear and he
could only manage a choked, “No.”

The
Colonel cleared his throat and Wade was thankful that he didn’t know what terrible secret she hid within her words.

“He
came
…to try and talk some sense into a stubborn old man.”

Chris shook her head in bewilderment.
“What? What’s going on?”

“This young man here tells me
you have a very unique ‘gift’. And he’s done a fine job of convincing me not to let it go to waste.”

This time,
Chris and Wade both looked shocked.

“Y-You…you mean…I can keep playing?”
she asked on the verge of tears.

He nodded and smiled as best he could through his hardened military demeanor. “Somehow, I just can
’t see you doing anything else…despite my best attempts to get you to.”

“But w
hat about the Army? What about-!?”

The
Colonel raised his hands to calm his excited daughter.

“You don
’t have to go. I’ll call my guy and cancel everything.”

Before the
Colonel could say another word, his daughter lunged forward and hugged him warmly.

“I love you, dad.”

At once, her father became choked up.

“Well, now. Those are words I haven
’t heard in a very long time.”

Chris looked up from her father
and to Wade - the nervous, uncontrollable wreck he was, but she only stared at him in hurtful silence.

Wade want to break down into tears and beg for forgiveness, but he
found it more difficult to say something to her than he did to her father.

“Christine,” he started cautiously, trying to contro
l the waver in his voice. “Please forgive me. I-I don’t know why I said those horrible things to you. I was…I was an asshole.”

Chris hardly appeared
convinced.

“How do I
know you’ll never say something like that ever again?”

The guilt and shame returned to him tenfold. His mind rummaged for the right words - hoping that they might possess some redeeming quality. But then,
he let it all go and spoke from his gut.

“Because…I don
’t care if Heretic plays anymore,” he began, wiping at his tears almost angrily. “
You
…are my music.  And I can’t…sing…without you.”

Chris broke eye contact with Wade, but he could see the emotion in her eyes. If he could just find a thread of forgiveness, it would give him something to work with.

He continued to stare at Chris while tears spilled out of his eyes, but no longer cared about losing his composure in front of her father. The only person he cared about remained horribly quiet.

“
I understand if you hate me,” Wade continued. “Even
I
hate me.”

“
That’s putting it mildly…” she grumbled.

Wade sighed.
“If it makes you feel any better, Joe beat the crap outta me.”

Chris perked up.
“H-He did?”

Wade nodded and rubbed the back of his neck, but no matter what, more tears came.

“Oh, yeah. You shouldda seen ‘im. He definitely went Jet Li on my sorry ass.”

Chris looked at him and smiled. It was small, but it gave Wade hope.

“But he also beat some sense into me,” Wade added.

“
How
much
sense?” she asked.

“
Enough to know that if I ever hurt you again, you’d probably never find my body.”

Chris broke into a laugh, but she quickly mask
ed it under a fake scowl. When Wade looked over at the Colonel, his mustache just barely gave away his grin.

“
And
…he made me realize that I’m absolutely nothing without you.” Wade watched as Chris stepped even closer, and for some reason, it gave him the power to keep going - to spill every word and every emotion that made him crazy for her.

“
Take my band, my money, my music. Hell,” he said, not caring if they were already gone. “You can take my voice for all I care. But please,” he begged. "…don’t make me leave here without you.”

Wade could have kept going. In fact, he wanted to, but when Chris closed the gap in a just a few strides, he held her as she wrapped her arms around his ribcage. He laughed like a happy fool and pressed his lips to her forehead.

“Os told me everything,” Wade explained. “I had no idea he called your father-.”