No Justice No Peace (29 page)

            Desmon sat on the bed and dropped his head.  Tears continued to pour profusely from his eyes and snot drizzled from his nose.  He turned his head to the side and looked at me. “Wha…what I’m gon do when you die?  Then I’m not gon have nobody.”

            “I’m not gon die,” I said, walking over and sitting next to him. “What makes you think that will happen?”

            He wiped his nose. “Cause I dream about it.  I dream about you getting killed all the time.”

            “Well, that’s just a dream and I doubt that will ever happen.  I’m a survivor, Desmon.  I’ve endured probably more than anybody you’ve known or anybody you’ll ever meet.  There’s a purpose for my being around and I’m not quite ready to go yet.”

            “You might be a survivor, but you ain’t invincible.”

            “No, I’m not.  But, hey, nobody is.”

            I sat quietly next to Desmon, as he continued to let out his emotions.  After he’d calmed down a bit, I told him to call his grandmother because I was sure she’d been looking for him.

            The next few days ranked in the top five of the saddest days in my life.  Desmon, along with Anna and Antonio prepared to attend Ginger’s funeral.  I couldn’t stand seeing my son in any more pain than he’d already been in.  I’d listened to his cries throughout the night and faced his weary and confused look every morning that he woke up.  I was angry.  Angry with myself for not being a better father than what I could have been, and angry with Ginger for bailing out and leaving me to deal with the effects. 

At this point, I didn’t even care that she lied to me about being Desmon’s father, because as far as I was concerned, he never belonged to Myles, he always belonged to me. I viewed Desmon as my blessing, and my reason for keeping it moving.

Anna was a bit disappointed with me for not attending Ginger’s funeral, but I explained to her my reasoning.  The last thing Desmon needed was to see me fall apart in front of him.  There was no doubt that I’d lose it, and I refused to let him know how unstable I really was. I did, however, pay for the entire thing. That was the least I could do, and I knew that being near the police wasn’t in my best interest.  There were warrants out for my arrest and the last thing I needed was to be placed back in jail.  Desmon fasho would be lost, so I had to keep a low profile until I made my way back to LA.

When the funeral was over, Desmon, Anna and Antonio came back to the house.  Desmon was suited up in all black and his black sunglasses covered the swollenness in his eyes.  I greeted them at the door and was surprised when I saw him smile as he talked to Antonio.  I hadn’t seen him smile since I broke the news to him, so it was certainly a good feeling inside.

“Did you cook like I asked you too,” Anna said, walking through the door.

“I sure did.  I don’t know how good it’s going to taste, though.”  She gave me a peck on the lips, and after Antonio spoke, him and Desmon walked past me. 

I wasn’t sure if I should ask about the funeral so I waited until somebody said something to me.  Desmon and Antonio went into his room and closed the door.  Soon after, the music thumped loudly so I figured they were okay.

“How did it go?” I whispered to Anna and followed her to the bedroom.

“You should have come.  It was tough…real tough, but I told you that Desmon’s a strong kid.”

“Just like his Daddy, huh?”

“Yeah,” she said, reaching up on the tips of her toes to give me a kiss. “Just like his Daddy.”

We walked into the kitchen and Anna looked around for the food. “I smell it, but I don’t see it,” she said.

“Have a seat,” I said, pulling the chair back for her. She sat down and smiled.  I grabbed a potholder and opened the oven.  I pulled out one of the four chicken TV dinners I had inside, placing it on the table.

“It’s hot, so be careful,” I said.

Anna put her hand on her hip. “You’ve got to be kidding me.  Is this what you call dinner?”

“I’m not a chef, baby.  This is the best I can do.”

She laughed and pulled the plastic film from over the top of the TV dinner.  “If I wasn’t so hungry, I swear I wouldn’t eat this.”

Just then, Antonio and Desmon came into the kitchen.  “What’s up for dinner?” Antonio asked.  I walked over to the oven and pulled out the other two dinners.  They both looked at each other. 

“Do you mind if I use your car to go get something else to eat?” Desmon asked. “That just don’t look too good to me.”

“Me either,” Antonio said, frowning. 

I hesitated, but then, told Desmon the keys were in my room on the dresser. 

As Antonio waited for Desmon to get the keys, I went into my room and closed the door behind me.  He stood by my dresser, searching for my keys.  When he saw them, he put them in his hand.

“You au’ight?” I asked, walking up to him.

“Yeah, I’m cool.”

“If you need to talk, you know I’m here.”

“How many times you got to say it?” He smiled.

 I pointed my finger at his head, nudging it. . “Until you get it though your thick as head.”

“I got it,” he said, and then walked towards the door.  He put his hand on the doorknob.

I couldn’t resist saying it and the timing seemed appropriate. “I love you, Desmon.”

He stopped in his tracks and waited before opening the door.  He stood for a moment, then spoke out. “I…I didn’t realize until today how much I love you too.”  He opened the door and walked out. 

My emotions almost got the best of me, but I held back. Desmon and Antonio left, and I went back into the kitchen to mess with Anna.

She was cutting up some lettuce to make a salad.

            “Are you still hungry,” I said, wrapping my arms around her. 

            She cut her eyes at me. “Starving.”

            “Girl, I got something that will fill you up!”

            “I was wondering when you were going to feed me.  I’ve been starving for a very long time.”

            “I almost hate to ask, but do we have to wait until the boys get back and get settled for the night?”

            “Of course.  You know I wouldn’t want them to hear you screaming like a baby, would I?”

            I laughed and pinched Anna on her butt.  I couldn’t wait until tonight, and it was evident that Anna couldn’t either.

            It was almost midnight and Antonio and Desmon were still up messing around.  Michelle and Gabrielle had come over and you could hear them in Desmon’s room laughing and making much noise.  Anna and me lay on the couch in the living room, while drinking shots of Vodka and messing around with each other underneath the covers so no one could see. 

            Anna was by no means a drinker. We’d played a trivia game and every time she or I didn’t get the question right, we had to down a shot of Vodka.  She was blasted and giggled while she rubbed on me from underneath the cover.

            “You need to cool out,” I said, smiling, but at the same time enjoying it.

            “I am cool.  I just feel sooo dizzy.”

            “You ain’t gon throw up, are you?”

            “How am I supposed to know?” She rose up off me and stumbled a bit.  She held the shot glass in her hand and downed the last shot of Vodka.  She then slammed the glass on the table and smacked her hands together.

            “I betcha didn’t think I could handle that, did cha?” she slurred.

            I saw Anna about to fall, so I jumped up from the couch and flipped her over my shoulder.  She laughed as I carried her to the bedroom.  After entering the room, I use my foot to kick the door shut.  I tossed Anna on the bed and she sat up on her elbows.

            She moved her long hair away from her face. “You did this to me on purpose, didn’t you? Jussst so you could take advantage of me?”

            “Uh-huh?” I said, removing my sweat pants. Afterwards, I pulled my shirt over my head.

            “You are going to tear it up to…tonight, aren’t cha?”

            I nodded. “Uh-huh? And, so are you.”  I crawled my way on top of her.  I sucked in Anna’s lips with my mouth and both of our breaths reeked of alcohol.  I was only tipsy, but I could tell she was messed up by how loose she was.  The moment I found my way between her legs, she had her hands on my ass, gripping it tight.  She removed her clothes within seconds and before I could dish out any foreplay, she had put my long awaited dick inside of her. 

            “Ahh, easy,” she moaned, loudly, as we moved at a semi-fast pace. While still on her elbows, she dropped her head back as I manipulated her nipples with the tip of my tongue.  “Ummm, I love this…this dick inside of me.  But,” she brought her head forward and looked at me.  My strokes came to a halt.

            “But, what?” I said.

            “I’m not in the mood to make love tonight.  I…I thought we were gonna fuck each other.”

            “So, you wanna fuck,” I said, already turning her over.  She hung halfway off the bed on her stomach and I slid down behind her.

            “Uh-huh?  That’s what I wanna do,” she said, gasping as I took a hard thrust inside of her.  My body slapped against her ass, making loud noises.  She backed her butt against me and loudly talked dirty.

            “Shhh,” I said, covering her mouth.  I was no doubt turned on by her words, but I didn’t want anyone to hear us.  She moved her face away from my hand and sucked in her bottom lip.  “Ummm,” she said, trying to fight back her words.  I laid my back on the floor and Anna scooted back with me.  Her back faced me, as she placed her hands on the bed and worked her lower body  to ride me.  She jolted down hard on my dick, so hard that it kind of hurt.  The loud sound of our body’s smacking together aroused me even more. And, the wetter her insides got, the sound of her juices was enough to make me go crazy. 

            I didn’t want to be the first one to throw in the towel, but I was so damn ready to come.  I quickly sat up and held Anna tightly so she wouldn’t move.

            “Hold on for a minute,” I pleaded.

  She ignored me and continued to slide herself up and down on me. And then, in a circular motion.  Feeling myself about to explode, I leaned her over to the side. I placed one of her legs high on my shoulder, and no doubt, took advantage of the situation. This time we fucked, and sweat was definitely dripping from both of our bodies.

            “I’m coming with you, baby,” she screamed, as she felt my goods throbbing inside of her. 

            “Then, come on, shit! And make it good!”

            We released our energy together and were still laid on the floor while taking deep breaths.           

             Anna reached for a towel and wiped it between her legs.  She then crawled over to me, lifted her thigh over my face and straddled it.  She pressed her coochie against my lips and leaned forward on her hands.  No hesitation on my part, my tongue left my mouth and attached itself against her walls.  I used my index finger to go up inside of her and my thumb to rub against her clit.  Baby girl was on fire!  You’d a thought she was auditioning for porn by how quickly she moved her body and the way she screamed out again after she came.  I was overly pleased with her performance and wasn’t quite ready to call it a night.  Neither was she, so she lowered herself and held my goods in her hands.  She took a few licks around my dick, but when she took all of it into her mouth, she gagged.  She attempted again, and that’s when I realized it was time to call it a night.  I moved aside as she placed her hand over her mouth.

            “Baby, you ain’t getting ready to throw up, are you?” I asked.

            She nodded and hurried off to the bathroom.  She didn’t even have time to close the door, but I heard the puke hit the toilet.  That just ruined the whole night for me.  I went to the bathroom, watching as she sat on the floor, while holding her stomach.

            “I am so embarrassed,” she said covering her mouth again.  She let loose in the toilet again, and I went to the tub and ran some water.  I wet several towels in the sink and when she was finished, I flushed the toilet and picked her up from the floor.  I sat down in the tub and laid her body on top of mine.  I then placed the rags on her forehead, and before I could shut the water off, Anna had passed completely out.

NO MORE LIES

Chapter Seventeen

By morning, I was the only one in the house who was up by eleven o’clock.  Michelle and Gabrielle didn’t leave until three in the morning and Antonio and Desmon had crashed out in the living room after playing a game of cards. 

            As for Anna, I didn’t expect her to get up anytime soon.  After I washed her up in the tub, I carried her to the bed and tucked her in.  She was on hit last night. I hated to get her messed up like that, but I wanted to know how freaky she could get.  I didn’t expect her to consume as much alcohol as she did, and it messed me up how she was unable to keep herself under control.

            Today, though, I had some serious decisions to make.  My departure from St. Louis was coming soon, but I was feeling a bit uneasy about my plans with Rufus.  I knew if I followed through with our plan, all of our lives would be in jeopardy. On top of that, there wasn’t no guarantee that Desmon, Antonio or Anna would move to LA with me.  I also knew I couldn’t stay in St. Louis.  Dominique’s boys would definitely find out where I lived and Dwayne’s crew might come after me too.  Rufus underestimated all of them, but I knew what it meant to lose a partna.  That’s why a huge part of me didn’t want to take the risk. It wasn’t like I could call off the hit because if I did, I’d give them the opportunity to come after me before I got to them.

            Either way, these were decisions I hated to make.  Even though Rufus and my other partnas from LA had planned to take care of everything, it was going to be hard to sit back and wait until it was all finished. 

            As for holding back on the love ones in my life, I wasn’t going to.  I planned to tell Anna my every move today, and I prepared to tell Desmon about us moving to LA soon as well.  I knew neither of them would be excited, but I’d rather get it over with now, rather than later.  That way, when the time came for us to jet, there would be no problems.

            Desmon and Antonio woke up around two o’clock because of the vacuum cleaner I used to vacuum the carpet.  They had popcorn and chips spread out on the floor and I knew if I didn’t make it my business to clean it up, neither were they.

            Desmon sat up first and stretched his arms, and then Antonio lifted his head from the arm of the chair.  Desmon mouthed something, but I couldn’t hear because the vacuum cleaner was too loud.  I turned it off so I could hear him.

            “What you’d say?” I asked.

            “I said, why you trying to wake us up?”

            “Because it’s after two o’clock and it’s time to get up.”

            “Is it that late?” Antonio asked. He looked at the clock on the wall to verify the time.  He then stood up and stretched his arms. “I gotta go.  I promised Michelle I’d be at her track meet today.” He looked at Desmon. “Are you coming with me?”

            “I guess, since I ain’t got nothing else to do.  I really need to go back to sleep, though.”

            “More sleep ain’t what you need,” I intervened. 

            “And why not?”

            “Because you sleep too much as it is.”

            “Please.  With all that action going on in your room last night, who could sleep through that?”

            I was beyond embarrassed.  I looked at Antonio. “Man, I apologize.  It had been a while and…”

            “Hey, no need to explain nothing to me.  I know how it is.”

            “I don’t,” Desmon, said. “All that moaning and groaning, hollering and screaming didn’t make no sense.  Don’t you know by now how to be quiet,” he said, lowering his voice.

            “I was quiet.  You didn’t hear me not one time.  That was Anna.”

            He threw his hand back. “Please.  She was out there, but you were out there too! You don’t want me to repeat what you said, do you?”

            I smiled. “Why don’t y’all go ahead and get out of here.  Y’all shouldn’t be in grown folks business like that.”

            “When you put us in it, we can’t help it.  Next time, if the ‘p’” Desmon cleared his throat, “if it’s that good to you, just keep it to yourself.”

            Just then, Anna slowly walked into the living room, while holding her forehead. Her hair was in a mess and she had on my black Bob Marley t-shirt and some pink slippers with bunny ears.  Desmon and Antonio turned to look at her.

            “What?” she said in a grouchy voice. “What y’all looking at?”

            We all just stared at her and smiled.  Then, Desmon and Antonio giggled and left the room.

            “What they laughing at?” she said, walking towards me.  She stood on the tips of her toes, giving me a kiss.

            “They just being silly, that’s all.”

            “I feel miserable,” she said cuddling up with herself and a pillow on the couch.  “Why’d you let me drink that much?”

            “I didn’t let you do nothing.  You did it yourself.”

            “Well, you didn’t stop me.”

            “No, I didn’t.  But I’m glad that I didn’t.”

            “Why?”

            “Do you have any idea what you put on me last night?”

            “We do,” Antonio and Desmon said in synch as they walked to the door.  They laughed and closed the door behind them.  I looked out the window and saw that they were headed towards the bus stop to catch a ride.

            Anna slowly sat up. “Did I do something I didn’t have no business doing?  I hope I didn’t embarrass myself in front of Antonio and Desmon.”

            “Just put it like this, if you can’t remember, then you missed out.  And for the record, we both embarrassed ourselves.”

            She pulled her hair back and sighed. “Baby, what did we do?”

            “You got sloppy drunk, got naked, and then, came over to me and dropped to your knees.  You gave me some head, and then I leaned you over the couch and dug into you from behind.  During the process, the boys came in and busted us.”

            Her eyes got wider as I spoke. “Uh-uh, quit lying,” she said.

            “Would I lie to you?”

            “Yes.  Especially, since I got a feeling you’d like for that encounter to take place now.”

            “It wouldn’t hurt,” I laughed. “Especially since you can’t remember what took place last night.”

            “Well, I definitely want you to remember.”

            We started playing around with each other in the living room, and as soon as we got naked underneath the covers, Antonio and Desmon ran into the house.            “

We missed the bus,” Desmon said.  “I was wondering if I could use your car.”

            Trying to get rid of them, I pointed to my room. “The keys are on my dresser.  And, don’t forget to put some gas in my car.”

            “I ain’t got no money.  You wanna get up and give me some?” I looked down at Anna who had already covered her face from embarrassment.  I knew if I got up, Desmon would see that neither of us had any clothes on. 

            “Don’t worry about the gas,” I said.  “There’s enough in there already.”

            He smiled and shook his head. “That’s a shame.  Y’all couldn’t wait until we got out of here to get ya freak on.”

            “Desmon, goodbye,” I yelled. 

            They ran out laughing.  And unfortunately, messed up my mood.

By early evening, Anna and I got bored from being around the house so we caught the Metrolink to the movies.  Anna knew I’d attempted to keep her inside because I wanted to protect her as much as I could. She insisted whatever was going to happen, would happen, and said there was nothing either of us could do if it did.  I agreed, but the memory of the last time we went out together stuck with me.

The movie was over about eight o’clock, so we stopped by Outback Steakhouse to get our grub on.  After we ate, we headed back home.  It was another beautiful evening, as the sun had gone down and the streets were filled with joggers, bikers and walkers.  When we got inside the house, Desmon had left me a note on the table with my keys that said he and Antonio would be back later.  He claimed they were going to a party and said he’d call me later if he didn’t make it in tonight. 

More than anything, I was glad that he was getting back to normal.  Anna was right about him being strong, but a huge part of me already knew that. 

I was ready to have my discussion with Anna, so I waited until she came out of the bedroom from changing her clothes.  I did what I knew best and rolled up and joint, then took a few hits from it.  I’d set the marijuana aside for a bit, as I tried to set a good example for Desmon.  But, I couldn’t resist the fact that it made me relax each and every time I felt under pressure.

By the time Anna came in, I was sucking in the last tip of the joint.  She didn’t say nothing to me, but rolled her eyes as if she was annoyed.  I placed the tip in the ashtray, and then slid my hand down inside my pants and held my dick. 

“I was just thinking,” I said.

“Hell, no!” she responded.  “I’m not going to have sex with you every day, Kiley.  My body will not allow me to do it so, I’m sorry.” She sat on the couch next to me.

“Did I ask you for some sex?”

“I assumed since you got your hand over your thing like that, you wanted—

“Your assumption was incorrect.  My
thing
just jumped when you came into the room and I had to calm it down.”

“You’re so silly,” she laughed, and then, laid her head on my shoulder.  I wrapped my arm around her and squeezed her thigh.

“You got some small thighs,” I said.  I then swayed my hand back to her butt. “But, a nice firm ass.”

She snickered. “Thanks.  But, I thought you said earlier you wanted to talk to me about something.  You wouldn’t be beating around the bush, would you?”

“Just a lil bit. But, I’m getting to it.”

Anna waited for me to get to it, so I did.

“Baby, I promised myself I wouldn’t keep nothing else from you.  I wanted to let you know that in a few more weeks, some shit gone go down that’s gonna require me to move back to LA.”

Anna had already lifted her head off my shoulder, before I could get another word out. “Kiley, don’t put yourself in harms way if you don’t have to.  Just let what happened go.  We’ll be okay.”

“I’m afraid not.  There are some rumors circulating and I have to remain on top of things.  If I don’t, it’s gonna bring hella trouble for me.”

“What’s about to go down?” I could tell she was getting upset by the frown on her face.

“Look, don’t go getting all upset.  I got this all worked out, and trust me, everything will be okay.”

“You still haven’t said what’s going to go down.”

“Basically, some people gon get hurt.  Now, I’m not the one  pulling the trigger, but…”

Anna eased off the couch, throwing her hands in the air. “This is too much, Kiley.  Do you realize how dangerous this game is that you’re playing?”

“It’s not a game.  How many times do I have to say if I don’t go after them, then they will come after me, you, Desmon or Antonio.  I can’t let that happen.”

“Who are you talking about—?

“Dominique and Dwayne.”

“Who in the hell is Dwayne?”

“Jada’s husband.”

Anna’s sat stone-faced and she gritted her teeth as she spoke. “You mean to tell me that you are going to have Jada’s husband killed?  Why?  So you can be with her?  Are you that fucking jealous…”

I grabbed her hand, as she stood in front of me. “Calm down.  It ain’t even like that.  Him and I had a some words and a physical altercation occurred.”

“Over…let me guess, Jada? Right?”

She was right, but I really didn’t want to tell her. “He thought me and Jada were together, but it wasn’t like that.  I broke his arm, and from what I’m hearing, he’s been looking for me.”

“Was this the day you fucked her, or have you been with her since then?”

“You know I haven’t been with her since then.  I thought you’d understand…”

Anna lost it. “Well, you were wrong!  I don’t understand none of this shit!  You expect me to sit back and wait until you have your ex-freaking girlfriend’s husband killed, and then fly off into the night with you like you’re a damn prince charming!  It doesn’t work like that Kiley!  What about us!  Why can’t we just live a normal and peaceful happy fucking life together!” 

I reached out to her again, but she snatched away. “We will be happy together, baby.  Once all this mess is done with, we’re moving to LA.  Rufus already got the hook up for us and you are going to love living in LA.”

“Fuck Rufus!  He’s an animal who doesn’t give a damn about the human life!  I can tell that just by looking at him!”

“You need to calm your ass down,” I said, getting angry myself.  “Now, I was nice enough to tell you what’s going to happen.  I didn’t have to tell you shit, but I did!  The choice is yours, baby.  Either you gon roll with me, or get left behind!”