No Longer Needed (13 page)

Alan looked down at the table and fiddled with his coffee cup. He took a long swallow, set it back down, and finally looked up.
 

“Actually, that’s why I asked you to meet me here today.”

Emma studied him. In that second, she knew she wasn’t going to like his news. She didn’t know how she knew, but it was as if her future flashed before her in that moment.
 

Bracing herself she asked, “What is it?”

He pursed his lips together and seemed to struggle to keep his emotions in check.

Is he going to cry? Alan never cries.

“I’m dying, Emma.”

Emma gasped and grabbed for his hand. It felt cold and clammy.
 

“Oh, Alan.” Tears filled her eyes and began to spill down her cheeks. It didn’t matter they were in the middle of a nasty divorce. The news brought them both back to the realities of life and death and the years they’d shared together, along with the children they’d brought into the world.
 

“When did you find out?”

He looked pale but healthy, which considering his news, made sense. Whatever it was, it hadn’t progressed far, so maybe there was hope.

“It’s cancer.” Alan looked like he was drowning and he clung to her hand as if it was the only thing left connecting him to earth. “It’s throughout my body. The doctor told me I have six months, maybe less. He called me yesterday morning.”

Emma gave his hand a squeeze and pulled away. “You look well. How do you feel? Could the doctor have made a mistake?”

Alan’s fingers twitched like he would reach for her hand, but then they stilled. He had to know the sympathy she showed was a time-out and nothing more.
 

“No, I’m sure it’s not a mistake. I’d gone to see him for a checkup the week before. His assistant called to tell me the news.”

Emma frowned. “A checkup?”

He nodded.

“And they told you cancer?”

He nodded again.

“Without further tests? Have you met an oncologist?”

“Not yet. I have to book an appointment. But I was told I needed to accept it and learn to live with it. It’s too late for chemo.”

“And they told you this over the phone?”

He nodded.

“Alan, you’re smarter than that. They don’t do that sort of thing over the phone.” She wondered why she was schooling him, her nurturing instinct kicking in.

“What, you think my doctor’s lying to me?”

“I didn’t say that. Just get another opinion.”

Why Alan wouldn’t think of all this on his own was a testament to how distraught he had to be.

“Emma,” Alan whispered, a tear in his eye. “Will you come back to me?”

Her heart skipped a beat and then went double-time to catch up.
 

“What?”

“It’ll only be six months, maybe less. I know I don’t have the right to ask you to care for me while I’m sick, but I made a mistake of leaving you. I want to spend my last days with the woman I’ve always loved.”

Emma was afraid he would get on his knees and beg so she hurried to answer.

“Alan, we’re getting a divorce. You have a new, and I might add, pregnant girlfriend. What about her?”

“She’ll be fine. I’ll leave money for the baby. I don’t want to spend my last few months with her.”

“But you wanted to spend your
healthy
days with her?” Emma could feel the anger rising inside. Could he be lying?

“I made a mistake, Emma. That’s what I’m saying.”

“It took you getting terminally ill to realize it.”

“I guess some of us are more stupid than others.” Alan grabbed his coffee and took a healthy swallow. After setting it down, he said, “Please, give me another chance.”

Emma couldn’t take the look on his face any longer. She got up and grabbed her bag off the back of the chair. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Please, don’t leave …”
 

He trailed off, but Emma imagined he could have continued with “… me alone.” Alan never liked being alone. Now he was alone with his fear and Emma hated to admit it, but it looked good on him.
 

“Emma?” Alan stood beside the table and held out a hand to her.

“I’ll call you, okay?” She pushed her purse strap higher on her shoulder, took one last look at Alan’s beseeching face, and walked out.
 

She needed to find Crispin and find out if her suspicions were true. Her heart hoped they weren’t, but if he’d done what she thought he had, there was no chance for them.

That’s what bothered her the most.

Chapter 20

Bubbles rose to Connie’s chin as she sank deeper into the water. It had been a long day at the restaurant. She’d left only minutes before her legs would have collapsed under her. Rick had pushed her toward the door with a discreet kiss on the back of her neck that still lingered as though he’d tattooed it there. Connie had given him a grateful smile and escaped the messy kitchen piled with dishes. Usually they were able to keep up with everything but today was July 1, Canada Day, and it seemed everyone had decided to eat out at the same time.

Stubble tickled her toes as she ran a foot up her leg. She needed to shave, probably had needed to for a week, but she never seemed to find the time to care for the womanly things that other women seemed to do in their sleep.
 

Maybe it was time for a holiday. She thought about Emma’s offer of a ticket to Greece and smiled, seeing bright blue-green water, white houses on the hills and delicious Greek food. She had just moved from imagining eating in a taverna to planning their menu when the doorbell chimed.

Connie squeezed her eyes shut, hoping whoever it was would go away. It chimed again. She sat up, water sloshing over the edge and soaking into the pink bath mat.

There was only one person who would come to her house at nine in the evening and ring the doorbell a second time. And that was only in an emergency.
 

Connie grabbed her pink robe off the back of the bathroom door and wrapped it around her dripping body.
 

She quickly dried off her feet on the mat and headed for the door.

“Thanks, Con,” Emma said with a grateful smile as she took the mug of hot tea and settled into Connie’s living room.

“So, you think Crispin told Alan that he’s dying of cancer so he would sign off on the divorce agreement? Don’t you think that’s a bit extreme?”

“Yes, it’s extreme, although you don’t know how hard Alan is to deal with. Maybe Crispin thought it was the only way to make sure I’d at least get a fair deal. He had good intentions.”

Connie snorted. “Just because you want to get in the guy’s pants doesn’t mean you can excuse this.”

Emma nearly choked on her tea. “I don’t want to get in his pants.” She paused. “Okay, so I’m attracted to him, but I’m also seriously angry that he would do something like this.”

 
“Do you know for sure he did it?” Connie set her mug on the coffee table and leaned back in her comfortable chair, tucking her legs under her. She twisted her long hair into a bun and snapped the elastic from her wrist around it.

“Does a doctor’s assistant phone someone to tell them they’re dying of cancer?”

“Not that I’ve heard of, no, but Alan’s doctor could be an asshole. Considering who Alan is, he might have chosen someone like himself.”

“That’s not funny.” The warm cinnamon and apple flavor of her tea soothed her ragged nerves. Ever since she’d met with Alan, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Crispin and how she was going to confront him. He hadn’t been answering his phone, so she’d been stewing. She wanted to talk to him and get it over with, but there was no satisfaction forthcoming. At least not until morning.

“When are you leaving for your trip?” Connie asked. “I was thinking I’d take you up on the offer of the other ticket if Brad doesn’t.”

Emma felt lost for words.

“Look, you’ve already been allowing yourself to stress far too much over all this. Let’s talk about something happy, okay?”

Emma took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay,” she said. “Are you serious about coming with me?”

“Absolutely. I need a change. And if Jen is coming, then I think you also need a mediator.”

“I’m sure we’ll get along fine, although I know we’d both love to have you along.”

Connie laughed and picked up her tea. She took a sip and studied Emma over the top of the mug. “Has something changed since the last time I saw you two together?”

The way Jen treated her had been a sore spot for a long time, especially in light of how Jen adored Connie. As much as she loved her friend, it had always been difficult to see her own daughter prefer someone else almost from birth.

“No, nothing has changed,” Emma mumbled. “But I’m changing things. I want my daughter to respect me.”

“She does. Much more than you know. She just needs you to stand up to her once in a while.”

“And I’m going to. Maybe you could give us a week alone and then join us?”

Connie smiled. “I think that’s a great idea. When do you leave?”

“Our tickets are for Friday.”

“That’s in two days,” Connie yelped. “Are you packed? What are you doing here? You should be packing.”

Emma laughed. “Don’t worry. I don’t take long to pack.”

“You don’t?” Connie looked suspicious, as though Emma had just betrayed an entire generation of women.

“It’s Greece. I won’t need much. I’ll be on the beach, so I need a few swim suits, or I’ll buy some there. And I need a sarong or two and some sandals.”

“What about makeup? And an evening gown in case you meet some gorgeous Greek hunk? And heels to go with the gown and a wrap in case it gets chilly …”

Emma held up a hand. “Would you like to help me pack? It sounds like you know way more about it than I do.”

Connie giggled. “Sorry, I get way too crazy about packing and usually take three times as much as I need.” She quirked an eyebrow at Emma. “As does every other woman I know.”

“I got over all that when I had to think about diapers, bottles, formula, wet wipes …”

Connie leaned over the coffee table and clinked her tea mug with Emma’s. “Touché, my friend.”

Emma’d been feeling frantic all day, but had mellowed, like she could sink into the armchair and never get out. Connie always had that effect on her. She didn’t understand why, considering Connie had more energy than five people, but she also had a confident, relaxed aura even when she was racing around the kitchen filling orders and organizing everything. She had a way of taking charge of a situation that allowed Emma to let go.

“I’ve talked enough about me,” Emma said. “What’s going on with you?”

Connie looked up at the ceiling. “Not much.”

“Come on, there’s something you want to tell me.”

Connie dropped her gaze and looked at Emma. “You’re right, there is. I don’t know what to do, Em.”

“About what?” Emma rested her tea on her leg and gave Connie her full attention.

“It’s Rick.”

“Rick? What? Are you having trouble with him at work?”

Connie laughed. She set her mug on the table and pulled the elastic from her hair, allowing it to fall around her face. “Not trouble in the way you mean.”

“What kind of trouble, then?” Emma paused. “Oh, no. Have you two started up again?”

“Not exactly.”

“How can you
not exactly
have started up again?”

Connie blew out a breath, her hair fanning around her face. “Okay, I guess it has to be
exactly
since we had sex.”

Emma gasped, then grinned. “Good for you.” She lifted her mug in a toast.

“Good for me? I’m not supposed to be having sex with him after I broke up with him.”

“Supposed to? Who says?”

“I say,” Connie shot back. “He’s wrong for me and I don’t want to hurt him again. He has feelings for me and if I keep falling into bed, or on the desk with him, I’m going to keep stringing him along, and that’s not fair.”

“The desk? You had sex on your desk?”

Connie blushed and dropped her head. “I was having a bad day.”

“I’ll bet it got remarkably better afterward.”

Connie let out a bark of a laugh. “Emma?”

“What?”

“You shouldn’t be condoning this.”

“Why? At least one of us is having sex. You have it for me and I’ll live vicariously through you.”

Connie sobered. “Emma, that’s not funny. You should be having sex, too.”

“If I had a hottie like Rick around who couldn’t keep his hands off me, then maybe I would be. Since I don’t, I guess I’ll just have to go to Greece and find one.”

“That’s a good idea.” Connie smiled, but still looked concerned.
 

Emma changed the subject. “So, what are you going to do about Rick? Are you sure you don’t have feelings for him? I’d say you just might, considering you can’t resist him.”

“It’s just sex, Em.”

“Oh, Con, is it ever just sex?”

Connie didn’t respond.
 

Emma set her mug on the coffee table. “Well,” she said, getting to her feet. “It’s time for me to head home. I’ve already ruined your bath, and I don’t want to keep you up when you have work tomorrow.”

“I’m glad you came over. Get some sleep and let me know about your trip. I’m determined to come, but I’ll let you pack on your own.”

Emma pulled Connie into a warm hug and headed for the door.
 

“Thanks for all your support,” she said, as Connie opened the door for her. “I love you, you know.”

“I know. I love you, too.” Connie kissed her cheek and waved as Emma walked to her car.
 

Emma’s phone buzzed in her bag just as she unlocked her car. She wondered who’d be calling her so late at night.

She pulled it out as she settled into the seat. The display showed she’d missed five calls from Crispin.

She had been trying to get a hold of him for hours before she showed up at Connie’s place, and now that he’d called, she was reluctant to confirm her suspicions. She asked herself why, but already knew the answer. She’d begun to have feelings for him and didn’t want to find out he was exactly like all the lawyers she’d ever known—an underhanded liar. No matter his intentions, it didn’t negate what he’d done.
If
he’d done it.