No Place Like Home (16 page)

D
ottie couldn't sleep. The twin bed in the room she shared with Cassie was comfortable enough, but tonight her mind was reeling with thoughts she'd been holding off by keeping busy. Very busy.

It had been two weeks since they'd all moved into Brady's home. The house now contained the women's shelter, but to Dottie it still belonged to Brady. Everywhere she looked she saw him. It was hard to think about him without wishing…but that wasn't what she needed to be doing, so she concentrated on making sure everyone else felt safe and happy. They needed her.

Tonight, though, things she'd been blocking were fighting for exposure.

In the incandescent glow of the moon, her gaze settled on the playground the men had built for the children of the house. It was useless—it was still Brady's children she envisioned playing there…her children.

Stop it, Dottie!
Stop it.

This was ridiculous.

Everything was going great. At first she'd been nervous when Todd returned to L.A., but God's plans were working out unbelievably well! She'd started her cooking classes immediately, and she was having so much fun teaching. Brady's kitchen was as perfect for it as she'd known it would be. They were producing and learning and having fun doing it. The house was filled with laughter and hope. Even Stacy spoke more and more these days…not much, but more. Dottie took every good thing she could—one extra syllable out of Stacy's mouth was a step in the right direction.

And the cowboys, well, what could she say? The whole lot of them were supporting the candy business like starving men. You'd have thought they'd never been exposed to sweets before now. She was distributing the candy through Sam's diner at the moment and having difficulty keeping him stocked. As a matter of fact, if business continued at this pace there would be a revolt. A horse revolt. They were going to bolt for the hills when their riders started waddling toward them.

It was time to open a storefront. Fat cowboys meant money.

No Place Like Home had a shot at supporting itself at this rate. So why couldn't she be happy?

A firefly glistened across the night sky on a lazy looping flight into the woods. A reminder of the man who lived through the trees in a cabin by the river all alone.

Brady. How she missed him.

Their contact with each other had been limited. She'd known he worked a lot. It wasn't until she'd moved into his home that she realized exactly how little time the man actually spent off duty.

Either his job kept him busier than she'd realized or he was avoiding her. She'd been wondering about that. Despite efforts not to think about Brady, the man lurked consistently at the edge of her every thought.

She hadn't seen him much and yet the tension between them hadn't dissipated. If anything, it had grown. She found herself longing for his smile, longing to see the way his brown silken eyes seemed to see light when they were talking. Longing to hear his laughter.

Longing to look up at him and believe that if she was going to be living in Mule Hollow indefinitely, that there was a chance that he could change his mind. That they had a chance at sharing a life together—the screen door creaked, startling Dottie from thoughts better left alone.

“Dottie. Can we talk?” Cassie whispered.

She, too, had been busy lately. She had been spending lots of time with Max and Jake. They'd taken the kid under their wing. Jake had been taking them to work with him on Clint's ranch after Max got home from school in the afternoons. During the day, when Cassie wasn't helping out down at the diner, she'd been helping with the candy making and the toddlers who were being babysat at the church. They'd both been so
busy that there hadn't been too much one-on-one talk between them. Dottie had actually been relieved about that. For some reason, the girl had relented slightly on chasing poor Bob. Actually, she hadn't had much choice, because Bob had been scarce lately. He'd obviously decided to hang low for a while.

Looking at Cassie standing in the doorway wanting to talk sent a shiver of both apprehension and anticipation flowing through Dottie. She gave Cassie her full attention.

This was what she was here for.

“I think talking would be a very good thing.” She sent up a prayer that God would lead her in what she should say to anything Cassie chose to share.

Cassie snuggled into the lounger, curling her bare feet under her before meeting Dottie's gaze.

“My name is Casandra Bateman. I'm nineteen and I don't have anybody.”

Dottie straightened in her chair. “Hi, Casandra, it's nice to finally meet you. But you're wrong. You have me.”

The tears in Cassie's eyes broke Dottie's heart.
Thank You, my Heavenly Father. Thank You so much.

“I know.” Cassie smiled, her lips trembling. “I saw Bob today at the diner. He told me he was thinking about asking someone out and he wanted me to know from him because he didn't want to hurt me, but that I needed to know the truth. I told him it was okay, that I was sorry for what I'd done to him. I guess I've made a fool of myself.”

“No, you didn't. I'm sure he was flattered. He really is a nice guy. I'm so glad you decided to share the truth with me. I love you like a little sister, Cassie, and I've been so worried about you. Will you tell me about yourself? About your background?”

She sniffed and wiped a tear off her cheek. She seemed so alone, Dottie couldn't stand it and moved immediately to hug her. Her thin shoulders trembled slightly with unreleased tears. Dottie held her tightly, giving her what comfort she could. After a while, she dried her tears, looked sheepish, and Dottie let her go, moving back to her seat. She was overcome with emotions of her own, so overjoyed that God had given her the gift of knowing this young woman. Of being able so show some of His light in her life.

“Foster kid. That's my background. One home after the other,” Cassie said brokenly. Picking at the chair cushion, she gave a nondescript shake of her head. “Once I was in one home for eight months… That's when I had my dog. But foster homes never worked out for me. I spent the last two years at a girls' ranch over in the hill country. It was okay. Anyway, I got to go my own way when I turned eighteen, so I found a job in Austin. Me and another girl from the ranch. I was working two jobs, but I was paying my way and I was happy.”

She paused then went on before Dottie could form a response to what she'd learned.

“Me and Angie, we started reading the articles in the
paper about Mule Hollow. And I don't know…they got me thinking about all the things I'd never had, you know, a family…something, someone to call my own.” She blinked hard and looked out across the yard. “I just started cutting out the articles and thinking about Mule Hollow all the time. I even pasted a picture from a magazine of a small town on my mirror.” She looked back at Dottie with a sad half grin. But there was light in her eyes.

Dottie's thought about how much she'd been loved growing up and how easy it had been to take that love and security for granted.

Cassie continued. “Then one day, Angie came home with her boyfriend and told me she was moving out. She felt bad. She knew I couldn't pay my rent living there all by myself. But she couldn't help it, I mean, really, she had a chance to start a life for herself and she was taking it. I couldn't blame her. I woulda done the same thing, only I didn't know how to have a boyfriend. Guys never did much look at me like they did at the other girls. I'm kind of a tomboy-looking girl. Not too much special about me.”

Dottie dabbed at her tears, but said nothing, not wanting to stop Cassie's flow of words. Still wanting to tell her how special she was.

“Anyway, I stayed there in the apartment until the manager threatened to evict me. What could I do? I was scared, so I wrote him an ‘I owe you' note promising to pay him when I could, then I packed my bag
and hit the road. I was terrified. I didn't have anywhere to go, and only a little bit of money…so there I was standing on the corner trying to figure out what to do when I saw this bumper sticker on the back of a car. It said, Successful People Make Life Happen. And that's when I knew.” Her voice cracked with feeling, but she straightened her shoulders. “I knew I was going to make life happen. I wasn't waitin' around for anybody else to tell me what to do. I knew what could happen to me on the street. I'd heard plenty of stories from girls I met in the system. So, I got a map at the store and I found Mule Hollow, wrote down the directions and started walking.” She nodded, it was a punctuation to the fact.

“I changed my name up because I didn't know if my landlord was going to start looking for me 'cause of the rent I owed him. Soon as I can, I'll save up and send it to him. But I couldn't take the chance of getting thrown back into the system because I owed him money.”

“Cassie, I thank God that He led me to you that day.” She could hardly get the words past the lump in her throat. The poor girl laughed at that, her eyes bright.

“Me, too. I gotta tell you, though. When I saw that rattletrap of an RV bearing down on me, with all that stuff tied to the top of it, I wasn't too sure if I shouldn't run the other way. Then you climbed out and looked pretty harmless. Figured I could take you if I needed to.”

“Oh, did you now?”

“You did look pretty puny. But you're looking better now.”

Dottie dried her eyes, things were going to be okay. “Well, thanks. I'm feeling pretty strong. It was just all those days of driving had me hurting pretty badly.”

“Yeah.” Cassie picked at the chair arm some more. “I was thinking about that. You said the big guy, I mean, God. You said God was with you when you were trapped and that He never left you.”

Dottie prayed God would reach out, using her to touch Cassie. “God was with me the entire time and He's been with you, too, Cassie.”

“I know,” she said thoughtfully, her eyes pooling. “Miss Adela told me that sometimes bad things happen, but that doesn't mean God doesn't care. That sometimes it takes bad things to make people see Him.”

“She's right. It happened to me when I was trapped under my house. I don't know how someone makes it through the hard times without God's comfort and the promise that if we commit our lives to Him we'll spend eternity with Him. That we'll live forever with Him.”

“It's nice knowing He's with me,” she said. “You know, like that country song that that cute Billy Wayne sings. The one where the little boy is waiting all his life for his sorry father to love him and then the stinkin' dad goes and dies, never having told the kid he loved him.” She took a shaky breath. “But in the end, the boy realizes he had a father all along, it was God… Dottie, that's how I am.”

“Oh, Cassie,” Dottie said earnestly. “God's love is so
wonderful. He is always there just waiting for people to realize He loves them. I am so thankful you understand that.”

“Yeah, like you said, the God stuff is the good stuff.”

Dottie smiled all the way from her toes. “You got it right, kid. The God stuff is the best stuff there is.”

B
rady watched as the car he'd helped repair a flat tire on pulled back onto the road and resumed its path toward New Mexico.

A family lost on vacation.

He'd cautioned the man to be careful, even pointed them in the right direction and waved to the little girl in the backseat as they left. She was a cute little thing with long dark hair and hazel eyes. And she'd chattered excitedly to him the entire time he'd helped her dad fix the flat.

Dottie would have a child that looked like that. The thought plagued him from the moment he'd seen the child.

He groaned. He needed a vacation himself.

It had been two weeks since he'd moved out of his home and Dottie had moved in. Two weeks knowing she was near but untouchable. Two weeks of sheer torture.

He was cracking. Yep, it was true.

Look at him. Standing out in the middle of nowhere
staring after some stranger's car like a fool, thinking about the family he'd determined he'd never have. Thinking selfishly that at this point he didn't care, he loved Dottie Hart and that should be reason enough to forget everything and follow his heart.

But he wasn't wired that way.

In a small town not much bigger than Mule Hollow, a sheriff had been shot yesterday during a routine speeding stop. The cop's wife was three months pregnant with their first child. A child that now would never know its dad.

The fatal tragedy was a timely reminder for him to remain strong.

But even still, he realized that his determination was in serious trouble.

Climbing into his truck and heading back toward town his mind went to thoughts of home.

Because the houses were connected by a long gravel drive through the trees he'd noticed for the past two weeks his old house—no,
their
house—had been brightly lit. He'd heard the laughter drifting from open windows as he'd passed by. He'd wanted to stop and see what was going on. But he hadn't.

The laughter hadn't been there the first couple of days. The house had been quiet, as if they were adjusting, then as if a switch clicked on, the party began. Soon after, the candy started appearing. Some nights the scent of candy carried on the breeze all the way to his cabin.

They were cooking with Dottie.

As the miles to town passed memories assailed him of the fun he'd had doing the very same thing.

More reminders were the fruit of the women's labors on sale at Sam's. The cute little bags were sitting in baskets on the counter. They constantly needed replenishing because the cowboys were eating the candy like crazy. They couldn't get enough of the stuff.

He'd bought a few bags himself, trying to eat away the dark cloud that had taken residence above his Stetson.

He missed Dottie. She, on the other hand, seemed to be thriving.

The ultimate Good Samaritan, she was obviously in her element. He'd thought she might venture out to see him, but evidently she didn't miss him at all. Why should she?

She was busy.

Lacy had taken her to Ranger and she'd bought a van. She now zipped up and down the roads like a small bus service. She was taking care of everyone.

That was what Dottie did. She took care of people.

He hoped she was taking care of herself. He wondered how her hip was holding up.

He wondered, well, he wondered a lot of things. But none of them were helping him get on with his life. It was time to be neighborly.

It was time to be a man and just say Hi.

Who was he kidding? It was just plain time to see Dottie. To look into those hazel eyes of hers and hear her gentle voice.

 

Dottie was sitting on the farm implement, her Bible open in her lap when she heard Brady's truck. She'd grown so used to hearing it drive by every evening that it didn't register at first that the vehicle had stopped. Startled, she climbed off her perch and walked to the opening of the barn. She'd been planning to walk down to his place and tell him Cassie's news. And now he was here.

He'd just slammed the truck door when he saw her. She squelched the flare of joy seeing him brought her. It was a lost cause when butterflies returned to dance upon her stomach. She'd missed him so much. She had to stop herself from running to meet him. Even though he looked like a stone carving with his eyebrows cranked together and his lips slashing a firm unforgiving line across his face, he was a wonderful sight to see.

“Hi,” she said, feeling awkward, unsure of how to act.

“Hi.” He stopped a few feet from her. Glancing up toward the house. Looking uncomfortable himself. “Looks like a busy night.”

She nodded, her heart swelling at the news she had to share with him. “Jake's here picking up Cassie and Max. He's taking them into Ranger to go bowling.”

“Oh, yeah, what's up with that?”

“Something nice. Do you want to sit down? I'll tell you all about it. I'd planned to give you a call later tonight.” After all his help with Cassie, he should be the first to know what had transpired.

“Sure.”

She wasn't certain why she led him back to her makeshift bench, but there were a lot of people at the house and they needed privacy to discuss Cassie. At least that was what she told herself.

But it was more than that. She wanted to be alone with Brady. To soak up his company while she had the excuse.

“You found the ‘country man's bench,'” he said as she hoisted herself onto her perch.

“Actually, Cassie found it, then I adopted it. I come here in the evenings sometimes.” She held up her Bible. “It's a good place for some personal time with God.”

Brady sat beside her, his shoulder grazed hers and maintained tenuous contact. She had a temptation to lean into that closeness, to soak it up and believe that he too felt the connection. “So how've you been?”

How had she been? That wasn't a topic she could talk truthfully about to him. It was best to evade it by telling the exciting news about Cassie.

“Cassie accepted the Lord as her Savior this morning.”

“That's great. Wow!” he said slowly, letting it soak in. After a second he nudged her with his shoulder. “God knew exactly what He was doing when He put her in your path that day.”

“There's more.” She knew she was beaming, unable to deny her excitement as she shared Cassie's entire story with him. He grinned the whole time she talked. When she finished, they both sat in silence staring at each other and out across the pasture, just letting the reality of it set in. Cassie was going to be okay. She
might have rocky roads to cross yet, but she had a solid foundation to build a life on.

“You did a good thing, Dottie,” Brady said at last, looking at her sidelong. “A wonderful thing.”

“I didn't do it, Brady. God did.”

“True, but you listened to God's voice and you acted. That's what impressed me about you from the moment you told me you drove out of your way to bring Cassie here.”

“I don't always do that. Believe me, I'm no saint.” She thought for a moment, overcome by a sudden overwhelming anger. “What about you? Do you listen?”

He shrugged. “Not always. Not like I should.”

“You should rethink your choices. I can't believe God wants you living alone.” She'd said it all before, but at some point the man had to listen to reason.

“We've been over this,” he snapped, pushing from the seat to stand a few feet away from her.

He was angry. But she didn't really care. It was the truth and she couldn't ignore it. She cared for Brady. There was no denying it. No avoiding it. And when you cared about someone, you wanted what was best for them.

Laughter drifted from the house as a door opened, then Jake's truck roared to life. Silently they listened as the sound disappeared down the drive.

“A local sheriff was killed yesterday.” The words were harsh as he slammed his Stetson to his head, his eyes unblinking. “He left a wife and unborn child. A child that will never know his father—don't you get that?” His eyes glittered with fury.

That did it! A girl did have a breaking point. Sliding from her perch, she rammed her hand to her hip and glared up at him. “Believe me, I get it! Do I ever get it! My heart breaks for that family, just like yours does. But, Brady, you can't let tragedy define your existence. Where is God's joy in that? Where is the hope that Christ has given us? You live your life like a dead person, hiding behind fear. How does that feel?”

“What?” He took a step back, his jaw slack.

She stepped closer, knowing she was onto something important. “It's easy to tell someone else to trust the Lord. Isn't it, Brady? To admire someone else's faith rather than activating your own.”

He dipped his chin and gazed at her from beneath dark eyebrows, his eyes glittering with anger. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“What do you think? When I was lying under all that rubble thinking I was dying, don't you think I had regrets as I replayed my life? My choices? I did. But none of them were because of loving anyone. That was what eased my pain.”

“Dottie…” His eyes softened and he took a step closer.

Her mouth went dry, and her anger threatened to dissipate. No! She couldn't cave. This was important. She struggled to find the words that would reach him. “Brady, you accept risk every day by putting on that badge. Even here, in this small town, you've still committed to accepting the risk. And yet you're not willing to have any personal happiness—”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Dottie, the risk isn't for me. I'm protecting—”

“Yes—” she gave a humorless laugh “—I know, I know. You're protecting the wife you will
never
have and the children you will
never
know.” Crossing her arms, she imagined the steam that should be billowing from her ears.

“Yes, that's exactly who it's about.”

“
Argh!
You are the most stubborn man I've ever met! Most people are going to say that loving someone was worth knowing them. Worth the pain of losing them. Love is worth taking a risk for, Brady. And yet, you're the opposite. You won't trust the Lord.” She took a deep breath and he stared at her as if she'd lost her marbles.

Maybe she had. She was ranting! She didn't rant.

“Look, just like I could never truly know what motivates you, because I wasn't there with you buried alive, you weren't with me watching Darlene struggle to comfort herself and her baby sons after Eddie died. Do you think I wouldn't like to let myself go…to forget everything—”

“You're shortchanging yourself. And God. Not to mention those kids of yours I keep imagining on the playground over there.” She waved a hand in the direction of the new playground, and backed toward the barn's exit. He looked confused, glancing toward the end of the barn. When he met her gaze again she felt weak with emotion. “I promised to take the girls to Lacy's. I have to go.” Desperate, she spun and hurried away through the barn to the opposite entrance.

Of course, Brady stayed behind. Why would he want to follow a nagging know-it-all?

Outside the door she stopped and glared up at the fading sun. This was ridiculous!

She knew. She had no doubts about what she wanted.

Hadn't she learned that life was a gift? That it wasn't to be wasted. Wasn't that what she'd been trying to tell Brady? A person didn't have to have regrets. A person could take action. Take control. Wasn't that what Cassie had done? That kid had stepped out and chosen against all odds to change her life.

Spinning around, Dottie stomped back through the barn. Back to Brady.

He was standing exactly where she'd left him. Giving herself no room for chickening out, she marched straight up to him, threw her arms around his neck and planted a kiss smack on his startled lips.

But it wasn't just a kiss. She pulled him close, felt his heart beating rapidly against hers, felt his muscles tremble as he wrapped his arms around her and she laid her love out in that kiss. Felt it flow through her embrace to him. Still, she couldn't let emotion cloud her epiphany. There was a specific purpose to this kiss.

It was meant to put a face to the wife he was protecting so gallantly and to make him realize it was
their
children he was refusing to give breath to.

The instant he overcame his surprise and joined the kiss, she backed out of his arms and stalked back the way she'd come. Breathing hard, but determined. It took
every ounce of her willpower not to turn around and run back to him on shaking legs. But she couldn't. He had to make the connections from here on out.

“Dottie,” he shouted behind her. “Wait! What'd you do that for?”

The man could not be that dense! Turning, she gaped at him, her mouth open in her own surprise, her heart pounding. Did he not get it?

“Oh, please, Brady. Do
not
be a goober.”

And then she left.

And prayed he could connect the dots and come to his senses.