No Quarter (NOLA's Own #2) (48 page)

“Language!” Da barked again.

“Deveraux’s Baby Girl. But it’s like, really, who else
could
it be?”

That made me laugh. “Why do you say that?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I watched as they pulled out of the driveway and into the street. Turning, I headed back to the house, toward the front steps, just as Phil burst out of them.

“Babe?” I asked.

He stormed past me, toward his Charger. My chest filled with icy fear. Phil hadn’t even acknowledged me!

“Phil!” I cried and hurried after him.

“Stay the fuck away from me!” he snarled as he wrenched open the door and got in his car.

I was beyond terrified. It felt as though my soul had just splintered into millions of fragments, and for that very moment, I knew what it would be like if I ever lost him. I couldn’t lose him. I’d never survive.

“Phil,
please
!” I cried out in desperation.

Danielle was right behind me, grabbing my arm. “Let him go.”

“
What
?” Unthinkable.

“He’s furious enough to do damage. When that happens, you have to just let him go, Kenna.”

“I’m not
allowed
to let him go,” I told her, my voice sounding shaky and weak. “He told me to never let him go again.”

Wrapping her arms around me, she hugged me tight. “He’ll be fine, I promise. He’s coming back. If for nothing else, he’ll always come back for you.”

We waited for an hour and a half. Then, I left with X and Alys to head back to the Plantation House. Jason and Sheri decided to drive around, looking for Phil, since he’d refused to answer his phone. I called and sent text messages, all to no avail.

Never, not once, had Phil ever ignored me.

Alone, I let myself into his half of his house and made my way up to the bedroom. I stripped down and showered. I checked my phone but nothing. I got dressed in my jeans and a plain T-shirt and checked my phone. Nothing.

Sitting at the island in the kitchen, I busied myself with rolling a blunt. I was about to spark it up when the side door opened.

There stood my Dark God of the Universe, beautiful and destroyed. It hurt to see his eyes so devoid of joy, red-rimmed with weeping. Without a word, he came up to me, lifted me, and threw me over his shoulder. He marched up the steps, and I stared at his perfect ass in those amazing pants.

Something inside me told me that this…this wasn’t going to be easy or fun or loving. This had the potential of being brutal, and I needed to find my inner strength and take whatever it was he was going to give me.

Absorb it. Accept it.

For him.

He dumped me on the bed and kicked off his shoes. Staring down at me, he gave me a burning hard look. Unbuckling his belt and undoing his zipper, he said two words, “Open up.”

And so it begins.

He said he used to find willing oddballs in the past to help him share and shake off his pain. It had left him feeling like garbage afterward. I hoped that by doing it with me, he would feel the relief he was so desperately seeking.

Sitting up, I looked into his eyes. I opened my mouth. Pushing the head of his cock in, he fisted his hand in my hair at the top of my head. He
used
me this way until my jaw ached, and my throat was sore. If anyone else had tried to do that to me…but I could still feel his love. I felt his pain, his rage, but his unconditional love, too. It made it bearable.

When he decided he was finished with my mouth, he tore my clothes off and then his own.

“Turn over,” he commanded. “I want your ass in the air.”

All of his pain, I was always the cause of it even if indirectly. All roads led to Kenna, I supposed. Now, he was able to share it with me, the only person he had ever wanted to share it with.

Unafraid of hurting me or scaring me or pissing me off, he shoved himself in me to the hilt with one hard thrust. I wasn’t as wet as I usually would be, and it burned to be stretched so completely like that. It hurt in the most wondrous of ways.

One hand on my waist, the other fisted in my hair, he pulled until my scalp burned, and my neck arched. He pounded, pounded, pounded until I screamed out both in pain and with the orgasm that he beat through me.

Releasing my hair, I heard a sucking noise coming from above me, and then I felt his thumb rubbing over my asshole. He had wet his thumb, and he was telling me silently what was next. He wasn’t asking, but I was going to give it to him anyway. And he wasn’t going to bother with finding any lube.

Still thrusting into me, he pressed his thumb in, working and stretching the orifice. I had to bite my lip and clench my fists into the sheets. I was going to come, and when I did, I came
hard.

Phil pulled out and shoved me flat on the bed. I buried my face in the bedspread and tried my damnedest to stay relaxed.

He spread my cheeks and spit on my ass.

My brain went blank. That had been both appalling and exciting all at once. Just as I was wrapping my head around the fact that the Dark God of the Universe had just lobbed a wad of spit on my asshole, the blunt head of him pressed into me. I gasped with the burn of it. He wasn’t so gentle as he pushed, withdrew, pushed further.

Oh, fuck. I don’t know if I can take this. This
hurts
. This sucks. It’s too much!

I was on the verge of crying out,
Kashmir
, when he made it all the way inside. He stilled, settling his weight into me. A hand clapped over my mouth and the gentle brush of his mouth over my ear were in such contrast to each other. I froze, I thought, in
fear
.

“Fuck,” he murmured.

He knew I was uncomfortable. Pain wasn’t blazing, but I had never felt such a burning intrusion. Even still, he had covered my mouth,
forbidding
me to speak our safe word.

“Give me a few minutes, Baby…” he begged. “I’ll wait. I don’t wanna hurt you more. But I need you to take it. Think you can do that for me?”

Swallowing hard, I closed my eyes and forced myself to ease around his invasion.
Minutes passed, and the discomfort subsided, melting into a throbbing warm sweetness. My cunt flushed with a surge of blood, and suddenly,
I wanted it
.

I nodded.

“Good girl,” he whispered.

He strained into me, and I pushed back against him.

“I ain’t gonna be nice,” he warned.

I nodded again, and he groaned.

“Forgive me?”

“Yes.” My voice was lost in his palm.

He pumped once, twice, three times.

Then, he pulled me up on all fours and fucked me so hard that we were both screaming by the time he exploded, and I blacked out.

“Oh,
shit
, Baby…” He gasped. “Open your eyes.
Fuck
!”

I felt his arm cradling me to his chest, felt his fingers tapping my cheek.

“Kenna!” he shouted.

I opened my eyes.

“Oh, fuck. Oh,
thank fuck
! Kenna…”

My hand reached up and touched his face. “Are you better now?”

He gasped and hugged me tightly to him, burying his face in my neck. “I
hurt
you.”

“I’m fine,” my voice croaked.

“Oh God…” He swallowed.

“I think I could use the bathroom,” I told him.

Holding me to his chest, he carried me to the bathroom and set me on the toilet.

“Could I please have some privacy?”

He turned and left me, quietly shutting the door.

He hated himself for treating me like that. It had been beyond rough, but I wasn’t complaining. As sore as I was, it hadn’t been so bad. I didn’t need Phil going into berserker mode.

Wiped clean and flushing, I started to run the bath, squirting in a ginger-white tea scent combination of bubble bath.

Phil opened the door and stepped inside. “Kenna?” He sounded wary.

I gave him a smile. “Will you do me a favor?”

“Of course.”

“I need a glass of iced water, and there’s a blunt waiting for us in the kitchen. Will you—”

He was out the door before I could finish.

Dimming the harsh overhead lighting into a romantic sort of glow, I then pulled out two towels and placed them on the side of the tub.

He noticed this when he came back and handed me the water. “You still want me with you?”

“Always, babe.”

Phil’s whole body swelled with something palpable—a mixture of relief and pride.

“I’m so fucked up,” he stated. “I hurt you, and at that moment, I didn’t care.”

“Yes, you did. If I had told you to stop, you would have. So…get over it.”

“You passed out.”

“It was possibly the most painful orgasm I’ve ever had.”

He blinked in surprise. “You
came
?”

“Yeah. And it was both awesome and awful.” I laughed. “I’ve never passed out before. It was bizarre. You joining me?”

He nodded and helped me into the tub. I started to take my usual side, but he pulled me onto his lap.

“I want you close to me,” he said softly. “I need to feel you.”

“All right.”

He sparked the blunt, and we smoked in silence for a few minutes.

“Are you really okay, or did you just tell me that so I wouldn’t freak out?”

“I’m really okay.”

“Okay. Well, that was lucky, I guess.”

“Ha-ha! Yeah.”

His chest vibrated against my back with his own contained laughter.

“What about you?” I asked.

He let out a huge cloud of smoke and relaxed his head back against the edge of the tub. “I’m better now. I’m still pissed though. Kenna—”

“Does it
really
matter, Phil? I mean, we’re together now, and everyone is happy we’ve found each other. Does it really matter why he didn’t tell you?”

“It matters to me.”

“Have you spoken to him since you left?”

“I went back for you, but Danielle told me you went home. I came back here to change before headin’ to your place. But…you were waitin’ for me.” He sucked in a deep breath and raised his head. “I need to know why. He knew how hard I looked for you.”

A moment of silence passed between us.

“You told me to stay the fuck away from you.” I couldn’t keep the accusation from my voice.

“I was ready to kill. My head was all over the place.” His fingers dug slightly into my flesh. “I missed you the second I left. I needed you so bad. You’re my voice of reason.”

“Then, why didn’t you come back? Why didn’t you answer your phone or even a single text?”

“I…
shit
. My phone must still be over there.”

“Pfft.”

He turned me until I straddled his lap. “Don’t even. You know I wouldn’t do that to you on purpose. I go apeshit when you do it to me.”

I took a hit off the blunt, squinting my eyes against the tendrils of smoke floating around our heads. Feeling him between my legs caused a current to pulse its way up through me.

Gently, I rubbed myself against him.

“Baby Girrrl…” he growled, his voice vibrating its way through my chest.

It was sick—how much I craved him, how I was so desperate to have him inside me, even just after the way he’d
used
me. As fucked up as it was even to my own head, I loved that he could do that to me. A part of me had come here, waited for him, wanting just what he had given to me, only I hadn’t known it at the time.

“Yeah, Phil.”

He swelled beneath me. “Fuck.”

Holding the blunt to his lips, he watched me as he pulled long and hard on it. It was so fucking sexy. It made me tingle.

He took the blunt and held it to my lips, and I watched him as I took a long and hard pull. His jaw clenched, and he grew thicker.

“Kenna…” he breathed.

“Hmm?”

“This is crazy.”

“It really is.”

“Tell me you want me as much.”

“I do.”

Reaching beneath the water and bubbles, he grasped his hard-on, and I lifted up, so he could position himself for me to slide my way down.

“Let’s just stay like this for a minute,” he murmured, slipping down in the tub so that he could rest his head on the ledge and still keep his eyes on me. “You’re so fuckin’ beautiful. I love to watch you. I have your pictures taped to my writing desk in the sound room, so when I miss you, I can see you.”