No Regrets (A Stepbrother New Adult Novella) (9 page)

S
he should have known
it was too good to be true.

She’d given him all of her, and he’d given back. They didn’t talk about what was on their minds. She wanted to ask him how he felt, and tell him the truth about the baby. But every time she tried to bring it up, he would touch her again and she was lost to him.

As he made love to her once more, she felt him pull out at the end, spilling himself on her belly. She knew he was suddenly concerned over what may or may not happen, and she waited breathlessly for him to say something.

When he did, she felt her heart break.

“I should have been more careful, before. The last thing we need is a baby. I mean, can you imagine me as a father? Besides…it simply wouldn’t work.” She closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry. She had to ask, had to know the truth.

“Do you think you’ll ever settle down, Parker, and have children one day?”

There was a play of emotions on his face as he contemplated his next response.

“As a matter of fact, yes. I know I am going to settle down, but as for kids…I just don’t think it’s in the cards for me, at least not for a while. The business is going to consume a lot of my time. I just don’t know if I’ll have the time for anything else, really.”

She tried not to stiffen beside him. She wanted honesty, and this was as good as it got.

“I see.” It was all she could think to say to him.
God help me, I love him so much.

He sat up as if he didn’t know what to say next. Her heart was shattering, but she pretended with all of her might that everything was fine.

She walked over to the shower. She should never have let him touch her last night. Despite her own warnings, she still felt her heart breaking. She let her tears fall silently in the cascade of water.

As she dressed, she thought about how to end this. She would just have to say they had to part ways, as much as it pained her. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. That particular secret, she would have to keep it to herself.

If he knew about the baby, he would feel responsible, he would want to help her along the way. The last thing she needed was to feel like she and the baby were responsibilities to him. She never wanted to feel like his burden.

Taking a deep breath, she realized this would likely be the hardest thing she would ever have to do. She walked into the room where he was, and saw him look up at her, concern on his face.

“Parker, you and I, we are so very different. We are great in bed, there is no denying that. If you touch me, I’ll likely give in to my baser desires. I’m not ashamed to admit that. But that’s where it ends, and I think you will agree. The problem is, one of us will get caught up in the emotion of it all and likely get hurt. I think we should stop before it gets to that point. So, this is it, Parker. I care about you, but I can’t do this with you anymore.” She took another deep breath—she needed fake courage for what she had to say next. “The truth is, Drew and I have gotten closer again, and I think it could be going somewhere serious. I think it’s best if you and I don’t see each other anymore.”

She waited for him to say something, do something. Finally, when he spoke, she didn’t realize how much it would hurt to actually have to walk away.

“Is that what you really want, Olivia, to end this between us?”

She pushed down the lump in her throat long enough to respond. “I think that’s for the best Parker, yes.” She grabbed her bag. “I’m leaving, Parker, and I'll likely be gone for hours. Take your time, but I think it would be best if you’re gone when I get back.”

“Do you love him, Olivia?” He waited, holding his breath.

She couldn’t face him, not when she was lying. “Yes.”

She shut the door behind her and made it to the elevator before she sobbed the first time. Once outside, she ran to the gardens just around the corner from the hotel and slumped down on a bench, crying for her broken heart and what could never be. She was in love with him, despite the warnings her mother had given her.

Now she would have this baby alone, since she knew how he really felt about it. The truth would come out eventually, but she would deal with it later. Whatever happened, she would not make him be there, not ever.

There was only one thing that didn’t make sense. He never even mentioned why he had come to Paris in the first place.

H
e had cried only
a handful of times in his entire life. The other two times had been when his mother died, and when his father had been in the accident. Nothing compared to the way he felt right now. He had been so close, so ready to tell her, and to ask her to marry him.

Even now, he looked at the table where he had hidden the ring. He’d planned on asking her when she came out of the shower.

He was a fool. He thought she felt the same way. But no, she made it perfectly clear that he was good for a good time, but they weren’t good for each other in her mind. He may have fought for her if she had ended there. But she had taken it a step further and mentioned the jock. She wanted someone else. It wasn’t just a slap in the face. No, he was broken.

He wiped his face and stood, grabbing the ring box from the table. If she really loved Drew, then he would let her go. He wouldn’t beg her to love him back, even if every fiber of his being wanted to run after her and do just that. He called the airline and booked his flight home.

At least once he was back, he could try and put her, and all of this, behind him.

P
arker tried
to smile as he shook the hands of the shareholders who had attended the meeting. His work to expand the company to new locations looked like it was paying off. The investors he had courted were on board with his proposals, and he should have felt on top of the world.

But…it had only been four weeks since he had left Olivia in Paris, and most of the time he was walking around in a haze of sadness. He went over their last conversation a hundred times in his mind and had even started to change the dialogue, to think of the words he should have said that would have made her stay.

Sitting down in the meeting room, he looked around. He had always wanted to be here. Now he was doing what he was meant to do, but he was hurting. He glanced up and saw his father in the doorway. Richard was using a cane, but was already quite mobile. Parker was genuinely happy to see him.

“Dad, I’m so glad you’re here. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. What, a few weeks or more? I know, I’m awful for not making time for you.” He smiled as he hugged his father.

“Yes, it’s been a while, Parker.” He looked up at his son and Parker knew something was wrong. “Sit down, son. We need to talk.”

Parker did as he was told. “Son, I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, you know that?” At his nod, his father went on. “Sometimes there comes a point, though, when people are so stubborn, and so blind, that they can’t figure it out for themselves. When that happens, sometimes other people have to get involved, even if it is against their better judgment.”

“Dad, I don’t understand. What is going on?” He frowned, even more puzzled than before his father had started the conversation. He watched his father sigh heavily.

“Olivia got a job, did you know that? She is working for Braden County, out there Monday through Friday.” He watched Parker intently.

“That’s great for her, Dad, but I still don’t understand.” His father rolled his eyes at him.

“Parker, I swear, sometimes, you are more than a challenge for me. Go see her, son. Go see her and talk to her…I mean, really talk to her. I know something bad happened in Paris, I got that much from Linda. She doesn’t want to get involved, but now that I know…” He trailed off.

“Now that you know what, Dad?” Parker felt anxious, and he knew something was definitely wrong. He watched his Dad stand to leave.

“Just go see her, son. And trust yourself.” He walked to the door slowly. He turned around at the last minute. “Oh, and Parker, take it easy on her. She may be full of fire, but she really is fragile sometimes.”

Parker sat back in his chair once more, thinking. He glanced at his watch and pressed the intercom button.

“Lisa, cancel the rest of my afternoon. On second thought, reschedule tomorrow as well. I have to go out of town.”

He saw his father get into the car on the street below. Somehow, he knew he had to go to her…and go now. He reached into his desk drawer and looked at the box sitting there accusingly. He grabbed the box and quickly walked downstairs. Sliding into the seat of his car, he set the GPS for the hour ride. He had given her the space she wanted, not attempting to contact her. Why his father had gotten involved, he didn’t know.

Soon, he was pulling into the parking lot of her new job. It was a huge government building, complete with security measures.

He walked towards the door when he heard a laugh. Just the sound alone made him freeze in his tracks. He knew it was her, would have known her anywhere. That’s when he noticed her on a bench, chatting with another woman who was just rising to leave.

He felt his palms sweating, and his heart was beating out of his chest. Even from a distance, he was once more reminded of how beautiful she was. Her friend passed him as he continued on towards her.

Before he reached her, she stood and stretched slowly. He felt as if his world had stopped. It struck him like an electric shock.
Am I seeing right?
Her belly was slightly swollen.
Could this be true?
She had never been more beautiful to him than she was right at that moment. He stopped moving.

“Olivia,” he croaked out her name.

“Parker,” she whispered. “What are you doing here?”

S
he wanted
to be swallowed up by the ground she was standing on. She could see it in his eyes…he knew now, there was no way to hide it. He knew, and things would change now. She put her hand on her stomach lovingly. This was her whole world, he had to understand that.

“Why, Olivia…why wouldn’t you tell me?” His voice was shaky and loud.

“I…I was going to tell you, in Paris…but then you told me how you felt and I didn’t want…”

“Didn’t want what, Olivia? And what are you talking about? How did I tell you anything?”

She watched his expression as he remembered what he had said.

“I believe the term you used was ‘not in the cards for you’.” She sighed. “I don’t want you to feel obligated, Parker. I would never want yo to have any regrets about what your life could have been without me…without us. I am doing fine, actually. We will be fine. Really, we will be.”

“Olivia, if you think for one moment that I am going to just drive home as if this didn’t happen, then you don’t know me at all. Oh my God, Olivia, did you really think I wouldn’t want to be a part of my child’s life? All that stuff I told you was because it wasn’t real. It wasn’t a reality right in front of me then. This is very real.” He took a step towards her. “I can’t do this anymore, Olivia. I came to Paris to tell you that
I was in love with you
. I got on that flight to get there as soon as I could, because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you…with
both
of you.”

Her tears were falling freely now, as she wiped at them with both hands, and he went on.

“I know you think you have to be tough all the time, Olivia, but I want to be your rock. I’ll also be the person you turn to when you need help, and the guy who pisses you off more often than not. I want to go to bed every night with you beside me, and wake up to your face every day.” He stopped to regain his composure. “You are the most stubborn, hard-headed, beautiful, and loving woman I’ve ever met, and I can’t…I won’t, keep going this way. I’m miserable, Liv. I’ve been in love probably from the moment I asked for your help picking out sugar in that store. I never had any regrets about what we had done, or what came of it as a result. Don’t you ever think that way. No regrets, ever.” He took a deep breath. “Tell me you will marry me?”

He had gotten down on one knee and opened the box to her. She wiped at the tears on her face.

“I love you too, Parker. Oh my God. Yes, I'll marry you!”

He slipped the ring on her hand. His lips met hers in a deep and promising kiss.

“We can do this, Parker.” She giggled. “But where are we going to live?”

“That, my love, is an easy answer. I bought your mother’s house six weeks ago. When I came to Paris, I was so sure you would say ‘yes’. I was going to tell you then.” He gave her a small, sad smile.

“There are just two problems that I can see,” she told him.

He frowned at her. “What are they?”

“Number one, we’re going to have twins!” She gave him a smile as his face turned ghostly pale. “Parker, you look like you’re going to pass out.” She laughed and held her arms out to him. “You know, you can handle it. I’m confident that you can.”

“I know, I know. Don’t be mad. It’s just the initial shock. I hope I won’t be making you pissed at me all the
damned
time. What’s the second problem?”

“Well, your parking job is atrocious.”

He laughed and then kissed her again.

“I love how you get mad at me for these little things. I love how feisty you are. I love your belly, holding not one, but two of my babies. I love you all, Olivia.”

“And I love you, too.”

W
ould
you like to see a preview of Emma’s full-length stepbrother novel,
Unbroken
? Here is your sneak peak…

“You’re not going to fix the coffee machine by glaring at it, you know,” I hear Linda mutter from across the room. I know she’s right, of course, so I focus my glare on her instead.

“I can’t believe this machine is broken again,” I grumble when I realize Linda is pointedly ignoring my scowl. The older woman has her head down as she sorts through files at the nurses’ station. Her dark curls are piled high atop her head and her pale green scrubs compliment her mocha complexion. For all intents and purposes, Linda looks like a warm, motherly nurse. I know better—there isn’t a sharper mind in the Neurological Intensive Care Unit, doctors included. I find her incredibly intimidating, yet I can’t help but want to be just like her.

“There should be a rule or something, against allowing dysfunctional coffee machines in hospitals. Or more specifically, in the ICU,” I continue when she still doesn’t speak. “It could be a health hazard. Especially when we’re required to work twelve-hour shifts. That coffee is essential here.”

“That coffee is also disgusting,” Linda finally replies. “How about you jog down to Starbucks and get us some
real
coffee?”

I bite my lip, considering. I’ve already taken my break, so I’m not technically supposed to leave the floor. But then again, the thought of working the rest of my shift without caffeine seems excruciating. And Linda is my superior, so if she’s telling me to go…

“You fly, I’ll buy,” Linda adds, her dark eyes raised questioningly.

I smile and nod, the promise of free coffee helping to make up my mind.

“Hurry up and go now, while it’s slow,” she says as she reaches into the cabinet beneath her desk to pull a ten out of her purse. “We’re supposed to be getting that air transfer patient this evening. Dr. Jeffers wants everyone around for this, so we’re having a meeting at eight.”

“I’ll be back long before then,” I promise as I take the ten-dollar bill from Linda and head towards the elevators. It’s barely after seven, and the Starbucks is inside the hospital complex. It’s only a fifteen-minute walk from my department if I head straight there. I should be back in half an hour if I don’t get lost—though that is a big
if
.

The Washington, D.C. National Military Medical Center is enormous, stretching over a hundred acres outside of the nation’s capital. I’ve been here for only a month and I still sometimes get lost trying to find my way up to the neuro ICU. Still, if there is one route I have more or less down, it’s the route from my department to the Starbucks located in the lobby of the rehabilitation center.

Unfortunately, it is pouring rain by the time I make it down to the lobby, and I decide to forgo crossing through the courtyard and instead take the hallways that connect the buildings. The long corridors turn out to be more confusing than I remember, however, and by the time I make it to Starbucks it’s nearly seven-forty. And, of course, the line is longer than I’ve ever seen it. Momentarily, I consider simply heading back to the ICU, but I know that if I show up empty handed at this point—after already having been gone for over half an hour, Linda will kill me.

Instead, I shift nervously, constantly checking the time on my phone as I slowly make my way towards the front of the line. After I order, I tuck myself into the bathroom to freshen up in front of the mirror.

If Dr. Jeffers wants
everyone
there for the intake of this new patient, it means Nick will be there too. I haven’t seen him today, but I know his schedule as well as I know my own. I inspect myself under the fluorescent light. My long blonde hair is falling out of its ponytail, and the makeup I’d applied before the shift has long since faded. My blue eyes look tired and puffy, but there isn’t anything I can do about it. I redo my ponytail, however, and pinch my cheeks. It’s about all I can muster and I pray that the caffeine and sugar in my iced latte will make me look almost human again. Not that Nick cares anymore—he’s already made that abundantly clear. And not that I care either, but I still want to look good, to remind him of what he’s missing.

With a heavy sigh, I return to the café and await my order. By the time I make it back up to the neuro ICU, it’s almost exactly eight p.m. Tucking our coffees inconspicuously into a cabinet at the nurses’ station—no one needs to know where I was—I make my way towards the congregation of staff. The meeting is already in progress. Nick smirks at me and rolls his eyes, as if my tardiness doesn’t surprise him, but no one else seems to notice.

“Sorry I was late,” I whisper to Linda as the meeting gets wrapped up.

“Uh-huh,” she grunts, studying me speculatively. “Should have known a quick walk to Starbucks was too much for you to handle.”

“It’s raining, and I didn’t want to walk through the courtyard,” I reply indignantly—a little louder now that the group is dissipating. “And I was only like a minute late.”

“The patient has arrived early,” Linda replied. “What part of the meeting did you miss?”

“Um… everything?”

“Here,” Linda says, pressing a chart into my hands and motioning for me to follow her. “Cameron Watson, twenty-eight. Marine, wounded in Baghdad during an explosion. He was thrown about twenty yards up in the air, and the landing caused an epidural hematoma, among other—significantly less severe—injuries. He underwent several surgeries in Istanbul to evacuate the blood clot. Almost immediately after, he was flown back here, though he’s still in a medically-induced coma. We’re not sure yet how bad the damage will be when he wakes up.”

“Why is he here?” I ask, confused. “If he hasn’t woken up yet, wouldn’t it have been safer and easier to keep him in Turkey, for a couple of weeks, at least?”

“Yeah,” Linda replies, pursing her lips. “But I guess his father is some big-wig General, I haven’t looked him up yet. He insisted his son be flown here for the best care.”

I realize that we’ve stopped in front of the new arrival’s room, so I slowly make my way inside. The sight of the patient—attached to a ventilator, his head bandaged—makes my breath hitch. This young, brave Marine, who looks like he’s quite attractive despite his bruises and gauze dressings covering his face, may never wake up. I struggle to keep a threatening tear at bay. Thankfully, it appears he has sustained very few injuries elsewhere. His high cheekbones are covered in stubble, and I have to force myself to quit staring at him. It doesn’t help that his foreign hospital gown isn’t very good at concealing his body, revealing large, muscled arms covered with tattoos.

If I had one weakness when it came to men, it was tattoos—lots of them. I loved illustrated men. It was what first attracted me to Nick. He had rolled up his sleeves to scrub his hands one day, revealing a large arm tattoo, and I was hooked.

“Pretty, huh?” Linda asks, breaking into my reverie and making me blush. Obviously, I hadn’t been as subtle as I thought—nothing gets past Linda.

“Not… bad,” I reply lamely.

“Well then, he is your patient. I don’t want the hassle of dealing with his father, whoever he is. Just don’t let Jeffers know, he wanted me on it specifically, but I already have double the patients of everyone else.”

“That’s because you have double the talent of everyone else.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere with me, you know that,” Linda replies. “And it looks like Dr. Larson is going to be the attending in charge. That’s not going to be a problem is it?”

I blanch. Truly
nothing
gets passed Linda.

“No!” I stammer. “There’s nothing going on between Nick… Dr. Larson and me.”

“Anymore,” Linda whispers under her breath as she leaves the room. Louder, she says, “Then he’s your patient now. Don’t screw up!”

I swell with pride as soon as she’s gone. This is a big deal. Yes, I was first in my graduating class at Johns Hopkins, where I’d earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing, but I’ve only been at this hospital for a little over a month. And, although Linda does have a larger pool of patients than any other nurse in the neuro ICU, her entrusting me such a high-profile case means she has a great deal of faith in me.

I swallow nervously, realizing what a responsibility this is. Still, I can’t help but preen as I make my way towards the hospital bed.

“Hey, hot stuff,” I say to the patient, after making sure no one else is within earshot. “I’m Milly Hamilton. I’ll be your evening nurse for however long you’re here.”

I like to talk to my patients, even if they’re in a coma, like most patients in the neuro ICU. I’ve been told they can’t hear me, but I don’t care. I don’t believe they can’t, plus, it makes
me
feel better. After checking his vitals and making sure everything in his chart is up to date—a pointless task as he’d only been admitted half an hour ago—I leave to make my normal rounds, checking on my other patients.

A few hours later though, the floor is quiet—most of my patients are asleep or still unconscious—and I find myself back in the room of the hot soldier.

“Hey there, Cameron,” I say, looking through his chart. “Do you mind if I call you Cameron? You’re more than welcome to call me Milly. Hopefully, you’ll get the chance, when you wake up. Because you
are
going to wake up, you know. You’re in one of the best hospitals in the world, and we’re going to make sure everything is okay—that you’re okay.”