No Sex in the City (29 page)

When we’re finally on our way to the party, I ask Ruby how she’s going to play it tonight.

‘I’m sick of childish games,’ she says. ‘I’m not some cheap distraction. As far as I’m concerned, tonight is about having fun and making him regret sending me mixed signals.’

‘Good. Because nobody has time for childish games.’

Alex has booked out half of Rhodes in Leichhardt. We arrive fashionably late. It’s strange seeing everybody dressed up when we’re used to seeing each other in gym clothes. As we walk in, I notice we’re being checked out by the guys and girls standing around the entrance and near the bar (it’s always scarier when girls size you up). The latest dance music is blaring through the speakers and the room is buzzing with energy. Ruby suddenly grabs my arm.

‘There he is,’ she hisses. ‘The bastard looks good too.’

Alex is standing in a huddle of guys and girls across the room. He’s animated and enthusiastic as usual, talking and waving his arms around. And then he catches sight of us and his face lights up. He grins, excuses himself from the group and heads straight towards us.

‘You’re kidding,’ Ruby says. ‘My God, I hope he’s bipolar because this is getting ridiculous.’

‘Quick, let’s go to the bar,’ I hiss back. ‘If he’s giving you mixed signals, give him a mixed response. He’s going to have to work hard tonight.’

We turn around and head straight to the bar. I order a lemon squash and Ruby orders a Red Bull and vodka. Pina, Theresa and two guys, Adam and Bradley, join us. Ruby’s in her element. She looks fabulous and is making us all laugh. I can tell we’re turning heads. I watch her. Not once does she so much as throw a glance in Alex’s direction. It’s as though he doesn’t exist.

We use an eventual lull in the conversation as an excuse to work the room and catch up with some of our other new friends. We spot Kalinda and Mo. As we walk towards them, Alex steps into our path.

‘Hey, it’s great to see youse could make it,’ he says warmly. He seems slightly nervous, which is a good thing. Even though his words are addressed to us both, his eyes are on Ruby.

‘Mmm,’ Ruby says distractedly, looking around the room.

‘Can I get youse a drink?’ he asks.

‘No. Thanks,’ Ruby says bluntly.

‘I’m fine, too, thanks,’ I say, a little more graciously.

‘So, um, Ruby, I’ve got to announce some awards and make a speech now, but can we talk later?’

She turns her head slowly to him and says casually, ‘Sure. If I’m still around.’ Then she walks off to the bar to get herself a drink.

I don’t even bother to wipe the grin off my face. Alex is standing still, watching Ruby.

‘You stuffed up.’ The words come out before I can stop them.

He looks at me and sighs. ‘It’s complicated.’

I give him a knowing look. ‘It’s
complicated
, is it? How original, Alex.’

He looks so wounded that for a moment I feel sorry for him.

‘Yeah, I know,’ he mutters. ‘I want a chance to explain things to her. Am I too late?’

‘Too late for what, Alex? You’re too late to mess her about again, but if you want to apologise and explain, well, I’d say Ruby’s bigger than
too late
.’

By the time the awards and speeches are finished, most people are drunk. It’s a fairly boring sight when you’re sober, and way past my cue to leave. Ruby’s had a fair few drinks too and is tipsy. I go to the bathroom and when I return I ask her if she’s ready to leave.

‘I’ve agreed to hear Alex out,’ she says with a shrug. ‘But don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.’

‘I know,’ I say. ‘I’ll wait for you. Pina’s trying to tell me a story about her trip to Europe, except she’s so drunk she keeps getting it confused with her trip to Thailand.’

‘It’s okay,’ she says gently. ‘I spoke to Pina and we’re going to share a cab home. She lives around the corner from me. I know you’ve been hanging around here longer than you wanted.’

‘No way,’ I say. ‘What if things don’t go well with Alex? I can’t just leave you.’

‘Oh Esma,’ she says affectionately. ‘It’s fine. Don’t go all protective chaperone on me.’ She hugs me tight. ‘Love you! Now get out of here.’

When I get in my car I check my phone. I’ve missed five calls from Nirvana. It’s very late so I send Nirvana a text, asking her if she’s awake. Within seconds, she calls.

‘What are you doing up so late?’ I ask as I reverse out of the car park.

‘I broke off the engagement,’ she says and then bursts into tears.

I drive straight to Nirvana’s house. I call my parents on the way and let them know not to wait up for me.

Nirvana is a mess. We sit on her bed, my arm around her shoulder as she tries to compose herself enough to talk. Her bed is strewn with empty chocolate wrappers and packets of crisps.

‘I can’t do this,’ Nirvana says with a sob. Then she takes a bite out of her Kit Kat. ‘We’re not even married yet and she’s trying to take control. She’s so jealous of me. I’m sick of her nonstop comments about
losing
her son. I’m sick of fighting about whose family we spend more time with, like it’s a competition. She’s seriously freaking out that Anil will be closer to my parents. As if that’s somehow going to make him love her less. He adores his mum! And I’ve got no problem with that. But he has to stand up to her. He can’t keep making excuses. She’s not a kid. She knows
exactly
what she’s doing.’

She blows her nose and then looks up sharply, as though she’s remembered something. ‘Lately things have been really tense at their place because Neela and Sunil keep fighting. I don’t know the full story and Anil doesn’t say much about it. But I think his mum is trying to compensate for Neela’s bad marriage by making this massive deal about our marriage plans. And I think Neela resents all the fuss and attention over our engagement when she’s going through rough times with Sunil. And if all that wasn’t bad enough, his mum wants the wedding in India.’

‘
India?
Why?’

‘Because most of Anil’s family is there and they can put on a bigger wedding there because of all the connections they have. She wants it in all the newspapers.’ Nirvana moans. ‘To think we wanted something intimate and low-key. Now she’s talking about getting stamps with our photos on it, and a helicopter entrance to the engagement party.’ I snort and she looks up from her tissue and manages a smile. ‘It’s so corny and it’s just not me. But I could handle that if it meant we had the wedding here, as we planned. How can I expect all my friends and family to fly to India for my wedding?’

‘What does Anil think?’

She winces but doesn’t say anything for a moment, plucking at a loose thread on her quilt. ‘That’s just it,’ she says eventually, a slight tremor in her voice. ‘I think he’s caved in to the pressure. At first he tried to convince her to have the wedding here, but she started the emotional blackmail. “Just give me this one last gift before I lose you to Nirvana and her family. Who knows what will become of Neela and Sunil – give me some happiness.” I was there, Esma. She didn’t hold back.’

‘Do you have any family in India?’

‘Some. But most of them are here. It’s only convenient for her side. How can I expect my friends and family to fork out the money to go to India? My aunts and uncles here have three or four kids each. With the flights and accommodation, it would cost them a fortune. My parents are pretty angry, too. They haven’t got the money to keep up with her plans, but they can’t say that without losing face. It’s enough that they’re paying the dowry and buying gold for each member of his family. A Rolex for Sunil, for God’s sake! I can’t stand him as it is.’

‘Do you have to, though? Can’t you put your foot down?’

She grabs a bag of chips and opens it. ‘Yes. I would have. I refuse to do something just to save face or keep the gossip factory busy. I made that clear to Anil. I never want to be a hostage to my culture.’

‘I’m with you on that one,’ I say. ‘So what happened with Anil? How did you break it off?’

She wipes her eyes with a fresh tissue. ‘We were at his mum’s house this afternoon when she started on about the wedding again. She was talking as though a decision had been made! And Anil wasn’t correcting her, even though he’ d promised me the night before that he’d talk her out of the idea. But she was so fixated. I couldn’t stand it any more.’

‘You lost it, huh?’

A smile spreads slowly up to her eyes. ‘Totally,’ she says guiltily.

‘What happened?’

‘I went a teeny-weeny bit overboard and started yelling at her. Anil was shocked and tried to calm me down. But she was yelling back, saying that I was twisting her words, deliberately assuming she had bad intentions when all she cared about was our happiness.’

I raise an eyebrow but don’t interrupt.

‘And then she did what all clever mother-in-laws do, which is turn on the waterworks and pretend to have an anxiety attack.’

‘You’ve got to be kidding me.’

‘Anil panicked, which only made her more hysterical. I tried to calm her, give her some water and get her to lie down, but she wouldn’t stop crying. So I left. He didn’t run after me. He stayed with his mum. I think it’s pretty obvious that he’s chosen her over me. So I called it off. I’m meeting him tomorrow to return the ring.’

There’s nothing else to say. I pop an éclair into my mouth. And then I wedge a corn chip between two chocolate biscuits and hand it to her. She gives me a grateful smile and rests her head against my shoulder.

I leave Nirvana’s house at two in the morning and am woken at seven by the sound of Mum clearing the cupboards in Senem’s old bedroom. She’s got it in her head to start spring-cleaning in preparation for Senem and Farouk moving in.

Needless to say I’m not in the mood for meeting Aydin or Metin today. I know that’s unfair on them, but I’m drained. To their credit, they both understand and are happy to reschedule: Metin on Wednesday night, and Aydin on Thursday night.

I’m making a decision by then. I’m not going to drag this out any longer. If I end up losing both, so be it. That’s my destiny (vomit).

I spend Sunday evening hanging out at Senem’s place. Farouk is out fishing with a friend. Senem and I are watching a rom-com starring Jennifer Aniston and pigging out on junk food (me) and carrot sticks and rice crackers (her).

‘She’s got no hope,’ I mumble as I stare at the TV screen. ‘If you start with Brad Pitt, it’s all downhill from there.’

My phone beeps. A text message from Ruby:
Can’t talk, call you back tomorrow
.

I’ve been calling and texting her all day to find out what happened with Alex but until now she hasn’t responded. I send her a text back:
That’s evil! I’m dying to know what happened. Have you been over to Nirvana’s yet? She told me she’d spoken to you
.

I figure Ruby must be busy because she doesn’t reply.

‘Hey, there’s something important you’re forgetting,’ Senem says in a muffled voice, her mouth filled with rice crackers.

‘What’s that?’ I ask, popping a Malteser and some popcorn in my mouth.

‘Make sure you talk about your faults.’

I give her a bewildered look. ‘Huh?’

‘It’s in all the relationship books,’ she says authoritatively. ‘Have you and Aydin and Metin—’ She laughs, ‘You sound like such a tease – have you discussed your faults?’

‘Senem!’ I cry, hitting her with a cushion. ‘Is there a checklist of topics we need to get through?’

‘Of course. You’re in fast-forward mode, remember? That’s how it is with arranged dates.’

‘I’m so confused,’ I groan. ‘I’m two-timing.’

‘I know! Let’s draw up a list for each of them!’

‘Senem!’ I growl. ‘I’m twenty-eight, not eighteen.’

‘Sor
ry
,’ she mutters.

I raise my eyes to the ceiling and sigh. ‘I didn’t mean to snap. I just don’t want to talk about it.’

‘I only want you to be happy.’

‘I know,’ I say.

We’re silent for a few minutes, watching the movie.

Then Senem, to my surprise, changes the topic. ‘Do you think Mum and Dad are happy?’

At first I’m too startled to respond. Worrying about Mum and Dad? That’s my territory. I fumble for an answer. ‘Why?’

‘You can’t answer a question with a question.’

‘Says who?’

It would be the perfect time to confide in Senem. I don’t, though. Because I’d be asking her to lie to Farouk, and I don’t think she would do that, even for the sake of family. I trust Farouk, but if Dad doesn’t want him to know, then it’s not for me to disrespect his wishes.

‘I think they’re happy enough,’ I say. ‘Well, I guess they don’t seem
unhappy
.’

She snorts. ‘That’s something to aspire to. Dad’s been a stress-head even more than usual lately.’

‘Oh, you’ve, um, noticed?’

She plays with a strand of her hair, staring at the TV screen. ‘Yep. Stressed out and on edge. When I see him, that is. He’s always working. I don’t understand why he doesn’t retire. He’s old enough. He’s got to stop being such a workaholic. It’s not fair on Mum.’

I start to choke on the corn chip I’ve just put in my mouth. I splutter and cough, and once I’ve gulped down some water, Senem looks at me with wry amusement.

‘What’s wrong with you?’

‘Nothing,’ I say. ‘Let’s just watch the movie.’

‘Is everything okay, Esma?’ she says hesitantly. ‘You’ve been so distracted lately.’

‘Everything’s fine.’

She’s clearly not convinced but, mercifully, she doesn’t probe. Instead, she looks at me tenderly, then leans in close and snuggles up to me.

I don’t hear from Ruby until the next day, as I’m waiting to order my ritual morning coffee.

‘Where have you been?’ I shout when I answer my phone.

‘Meet me for lunch,’ she says soberly. ‘At the statue in front of the Queen Victoria Building. Twelve-thirty okay for you?’

‘Is everything okay? What happened?’

‘Nothing, I’m fine. How’s Nirvana?’

‘Terrible. Have you spoken with her?’

‘Let’s talk at lunch. See you then.’ She hangs up and I’m left looking down at my phone, a little puzzled by her abrupt tone.