Noah (10 page)

He walks over to the fridge and grabs two bottles of
Amstel
out of the fridge. He pops the caps off using the
counter and then walks back over and hands me the cold beer.

I place the bottle to my lips and instead of savoring
the taste, I chug the contents of the bottle and finish my beer in
a matter of seconds. Noah chuckles under his breath and then hands
me the beer in his hands that he hasn't had a chance to drink
yet.

"Thanks," I respond quietly, embarrassed I'm out
drinking him.

Shrugging his shoulders he walks back over to the
fridge and grabs the rest of the six-pack, tucking it under his
right arm. "It's no problem, shorty. You deserve a few beers
tonight."

We spend the next hour on his loveseat. He's turned
the television on low, but neither of us is watching it. We're not
talking much either. I'm just enjoying my beer and the sereneness
and comfort of not being alone tonight. Noah was my savior tonight.
If he hadn't shown up when he did, I could have been raped, or
worse–left dead somewhere and lucky if anyone ever found my
body.

Reflecting over all the years I've known Noah,
there's one huge consistency I failed to recognize
before–
h
e's always
saving me. Whether it was from an approaching rainstorm when I was
out in the middle of the lake kayaking, or racing a drunk
13-year-old me home after trying alcohol for the first time so I'd
be home before curfew, and then covering for me with my parents, he
was always looking out for me. Tonight's no exception because he
beat the shit out of a stranger who attacked me.

I set my beer down on his hardwood floor and move
closer to him on the sofa until my left side and his right side are
touching. I snuggle into his body and rest my head on his
shoulder–sighing out in relief at the comfort being near him brings
me. He wraps his right arm around my shoulders and relaxes back
into the sofa.

"I'm glad you're okay, shorty. If anything were to
happen to you–"

"But it didn't, Noah. I'm fine...because of
you
,
I'm fine."

He trails the fingers resting on my upper arm up and
down my exposed skin as he holds me close. I kick my heels off and
tuck my feet under my butt as I sink further into Noah and let my
eyes close, enjoying the serenity of this moment.

"You mean a lot to me, Skye. You always have. I can't
imagine moving on from something like tonight if the outcome had
been different." Noah's beard scratches my forehead as he speaks
and I look up into his soothing eyes as he finishes speaking. "You
have to promise me nothing like that will ever happen again."

We're both quiet as his request lingers out
there
,
waiting for me to
agree. I can't think about what he's asked me to promise when my
lips are just inches from his. His nostrils flare and he licks his
irresistible bottom lip as he peers down at me. After everything
that happened tonight the last thing on my mind should be sex and
intimacy, but I want that with him. I'm feeling frisky and I want
Noah.

I'm not sure why all my old feelings for him have
decided to come back. It might have started with our moment on the
couch, or maybe even before then, but they're not going away.
They've bubbled back up to the surface again...if they ever went
away to begin with.

What I know for sure is that I have an unexplainable,
uncontrollable need to kiss him right now. I know deep down his
lips will be the only thing to pacify the hurt and fear away that
were caused by tonight
’
s
events. Licking my lips
,
I move in, closing any space between us. His lips part and his
uneven breath falls against my sensitive skin. When his eyes
flicker to my mouth I know he's in the moment with me and wants to
kiss me, too.

My body hums with excitement as I close my eyes in
anticipation for what's next. I brush my lips against his and
pause, waiting for him to move his lips with me. We're both
still–our breath mingles together and his lips softly tremble
against mine but he doesn't kiss me. I want his lips to move
against mine, so that instead of my lips resting on his we'll
actually be sharing our first kiss. Instead, after a few seconds of
being frozen in this position, he pulls away slightly and his head
falls back on the sofa
,
breaking our connection.

Ignoring his rejection
,
I wrap my right arm around his torso and keep my
eyes closed
as
I rest my
head on his chest. "I can't promise you that, Noah. I can't control
the billions of other people in this world–I can only control
myself. I'm going to be more aware of my surroundings, and I'll try
to never put myself in a situation like that again, but it's
impossible to completely prevent these things. I just have to trust
that I'm doing enough and that you'll be around to save me if I'm
not."

"But I won't always be around, Skye."

"What do you mean? Why not?" I ask, lifting my head
off
his chest. Is this
because I tried to kiss him? Did I ruin everything?

He sighs deeply and I feel it against my body as I
rest my weight on him. "Eventually you and Caleb will be married
and have kids. Caleb will be the one protecting you, not me."

I guess I never really thought about what would
happen once I got married. All the years I've spent with Caleb and
I've never once thought of him as my protector. He's not the one I
imagine keeping me safe at night. When I think about my safety, the
person I trust with my life, it's always been Noah.

He's right
,
though, I won't be able to expect him to protect
me forever. The thought is disappointing because this is the one
and only area in my life I can rely on him. Except for when I need
rescuing, I've been on my own. He's flaky and unreliable, with bad
hours at work and his dick making all other decisions for him. He
owns a business based solely on sexual gratification and he lives
most of his life that way
,
too.

If I'm going to stay with Caleb and make our
relationship work, I need to trust that he's going to be my
everything. That includes the one keeping me safe at night.
Tonight's the last night I let Noah save me.

So why does the thought of Caleb protecting me
instead of Noah terrify me?

Skye

Age 19

I can't contain my excitement as I bounce around my
tiny dorm room, praying the next few hours fly by. The past eight
months at NMU have been incredible but I miss my best friend. While
I've been experiencing college life as a freshman at
Northern
Michigan University
, Noah's been gone another year touring the
world and sending me postcards from each destination.

If Noah had chosen the traditional route and gone to
college, he'd be finishing his senior year and
he would be
a few weeks
away
from graduating. Instead
,
he sold most of his belongings
and has migrated from one city to the next these last four years.
He's come home for Christmas every year, and he even surprised me
last May when he came home for my high school graduation, but for
the most part he's been MIA. We keep in touch via text, postcards,
and the monthly package I receive from him with a bag of Hershey's
Kisses. Even in his travels he hasn't missed one unbirthday and has
managed to find these treats in foreign countries.

The night before he left for the first time I was
fifteen and we had a campout in his backyard. I bawled my eyes out.
I couldn't believe he was leaving me. Every happy childhood memory
centered
around
him and
he was no longer going to be around to create new memories. I
thought my life was over.

He comforted me that night with lots of hugs and
funny stories and eventually I cheered up, not wanting to
completely tarnish our last night together. Before we fell asleep
he gave me a shiny rainbow gift bag to open. Inside was a clear
glass jar and taped to the outside was a note written in black
sharpie.

The Happy Unbirthday Jar

The jar was filled to the lid with Hershey's Kisses
and that one gift had me crying all over again. It had only been
three weeks since he gave me that first Hershey's Kiss on our walk
home from the convenient store, and now he was going on a dream
expedition and I didn't know when he'd be back.

I'll never forget what he said to me that
night
:

These chocolate kisses are to remind you every
day how special you are, but don't go taking them for granted.
Don't take one just because you wake up or when you have a
chocolate craving. You're only allowed to grab a kiss after you
receive my unbirthday text every day. These kisses mean something
to me, Skye, because you mean something to me. When you get my text
each day, I want you to remember that every day of your life is
worth celebrating. Then, and only then, are you allowed to grab a
kiss from the jar.

It was the sweetest and most romantic thing anyone
had ever said to me. It was completely unexpected. Noah kept true
to his word
,
too. No
matter where he was in the world
,
he sent me a text, and every month I received
another package from him with a bag of kisses and instructions to
replenish the jar. The jar never went empty and I never went a day
without the reminder that someone out there thinks I'm special.

That jar got me through the last four years. Even at
college, with my roommate begging me to let her have a piece of
chocolate, I never broke his rule. I only ever took a Hershey's
Kiss after I received my text from him.

And tonight he's going to be here to spend the
weekend at NMU with me!

I miss his laugh, and his smell, and the way he tucks
my tiny frame under his big arms and holds me close. When he's with
me we're the only two people in the room.

I really miss my best friend. I miss the man I've
been in love with for the last four years.

The last time I saw Noah was around Christmas. That
was almost five months ago. We had an amazing week hanging out
together and with our families. He took me out one day in his
snowmobile and we built snowmen and made snow angels like we were
little kids again. It was so easy to be around him, like we'd never
been apart.

Our small town is only twenty-five minutes from my
dorm, but because I'm a freshman on a partial scholarship, I have
to stay in the dorms my freshman and sophomore year, which is fine
for me because I get the independence every young adult needs, with
the security of knowing my parents are close by.

I check the time on my phone again, anxious for him
to get here. I've changed my outfit three times, settling on a pair
of black skinny jeans and a black peasant blouse embroidered with
colorful flowers that Noah bought for me in Mexico and gave me this
past Christmas. My short blond hair is straight and tucked behind
my ears and I've put on just enough make-up to still look natural,
along with the new lip plumper I bought to draw attention to my
lips.

I'm secretly hoping tonight will be the night he sees
me as more than a friend and I can finally share a tender kiss with
him.

I don’
t
know what I'm going to do until he gets here, but if I stay in my
dorm room the time will tick by even slower. I need to find
something to occupy my time for the next few hours. I put on my
black Chucks, grab my purse, and open my dorm door
,
determined to find something to
do when two beautiful, light brown eyes look back at me.

He's grown out his beard and what used to be a couple
millimeters of scruff is now several inches of dark, coarse hair.
It's sexy as hell and I want to run my hands through it, pull on it
as I bring his mouth down on mine and kiss his soft lips.

"Are you just going to stand there or do I get a
hello?"

God, I've missed his voice.

I squeal and jump into his waiting arms, wrapping my
legs around his hips as I slip my arms around his neck and squeeze
him tight. He feels like safety and home, and as I close my eyes
and breathe him in he smells just as I remembered.

When I open my eyes again my arms loosen around his
neck and I can feel the blush spread across my face and I'm sure my
cheeks are bright red with embarrassment. Behind Noah is a
good-looking guy, around Noah's age, and he's smirking at me with a
knowing grin.

I loosen my legs from around Noah's hips and hop down
before taking a step back, needing to create some distance between
us. I'm sure he wasn't expecting to be attacked by me the second I
saw him.

"How's it going, shorty?" He walks into my small dorm
room and looks around before throwing his backpack on my
roommate
’
s bed and
gesturing for the man in the hallway to come inside. "This is
Caleb. We met outside a bar in Prague last summer and spent the
week partying. He was with me when I got my last tattoo and
finished my sleeve. He met up with me for a drink last night on my
fourteen
-
hour layover
and then decided to come back here with me for the weekend since he
already took his last final."

Waving hello to him I ask, "You took you
r
last final, huh? My finals aren't
for another two weeks. Where do you go to school?"

"I'm a senior
at
Columbia University
but when I graduate I've got
Columbia's Law School
to look forward to."

Damn. That's a lot of school. I'm surprised Noah and
him hit it off so well. Noah hates the idea that school is the only
way to get an education. He only supports me because he knows I've
wanted to be a nurse since I was six when my mother bought me a
nurse
Barbie
for Christmas.