Noah (16 page)

"There's more–" I try to explain, but he keeps
interrupting.

"I'm so sorry for everything, Skye. You have to know
that I would never cheat on you or do anything to hurt you. I was
stupid. Participating in those texts was stupid, but it will never
happen again. I won't text Paula ever again unless it has something
to do with a case. I'll prove to you I'm worthy of your devotion.
Just give me another chance, please."

It's ironic. As he's down on his knees begging me to
forgive him and take him back, I realize I should be the one
groveling. I'm the one who cheated. We've spent the last six years
together and I caved into my desires for Noah an hour after reading
those texts. What does that say about me?

Am I willing to throw away this relationship over a
one-night stand with Noah? Because that's all it was. Noah didn't
even bother to stick around in the morning. I was just another
notch on his ever-growing bedpost.

Caleb loves me and wants to spend his life with me.
Caleb's the one who committed to me all those years ago. He's the
one who has taken care of me and helped support me all these years.
He's a really great guy. I shouldn't just throw what we have
away.

"Okay, Caleb. We can try."

He shoots up to his feet and wraps me in his arms,
hugging me tightly as he picks me off the ground and spins us
around in a circle. He sets my feet back down on the floor and
kisses me chastely on the lips. "You won't regret this. I'm never
going to put you through anything like this again."

Reaching into the small pocket in his monogrammed
button-up pajama top, he pulls out
a
beautiful diamond solitaire ring and I gasp. The
ring is not in a box. He had it just resting in his pocket. Did he
know I'd take him back? Was I that much of a forgone
conclusion?

The ring is beautiful
,
though
,
and I'm lost in the romantic, fairytale ideals of my childhood. I
was one of those girls who dreamt of being married since my mom
gave me Wedding
Barbie
. Now today
,
I am
Barbie
and Caleb is hoping to
be my
Ken
.

"What are you doing, Caleb?"

"What I should have done the day I bought this ring
five months ago, but I was waiting until I got some time off so I
could propose the right way. After waking up and thinking I lost
you this morning, I realize
d
there will never be a wrong way because marrying
you is the only thing that's right. So
,
Skye, will you do me the honor of marrying me and
being my wife?"

I don’
t
know if I'm considering his proposal because it's Caleb or because
I just like the idea of being married to someone. The ring in his
hand is blinding. It's so gorgeous it's hypnotizing, so I push all
thoughts of Noah and last night aside and respond, "Yes. Yes, I'll
marry you, Caleb."

His smile spreads from ear to ear and he slips the
ring on my left ring finger before pulling me in for a long,
excited kiss. When our lips finally part he says, "Let's elope. We
can be in Vegas in six hours and be married tonight. I don't want
to waste another minute not being your husband."

"What's the rush?" This is too fast, too soon. I'm
just starting to process all that's happened. Last night I was done
with Caleb, and now not only are we back together, we're engaged. I
think that's enough changes in my life for one day. I need some
time to process it all, and I want to plan a wedding, not get
married in some cheesy chapel in Vegas. "No."

I'm firm in my denial and the smile on Caleb's face
quickly fades. "No, why?" As I'm trying to figure out the right way
to respond to his reasonable question he adds, "Is this about
Noah?"

Oh my God, he knows. How does he know? Were we so
loud he could hear us from across the hall? As I recall my
impulsive sex last night wasn't loud enough for the neighbors to
hear. "No, this has nothing to do with Noah. Why would you ask me
that?"

"You spent the night there last night and I
don
’
t want him getting
in your head."

"How would he have gotten in my head?" I ask, still
confused on why Caleb thinks Noah has something to do with my
refusal to elope. Why would he think his best friend would want to
get in my head?

"Because he's in love with you."

My eyes widen as I take in Caleb's assumptions. Noah
is not in love with me. I'm in love with Noah, sure, but Noah is
not in love with me. He loves sex, he loves women, but he'll never
love sex with one woman for the rest of his life. "Noah is not in
love with me."

“Yes
,
he
is. I've known it since the first time he talked about you all
those years ago when we were in Prague. It's one of the reasons I
wanted to come with him the weekend you and I met. I wanted to meet
the girl he spoke so highly of."

"Caleb, it's sweet you think that Noah was in love
with me, but I can promise you he was not and is not. I would know,
trust me. I think you have such blinders on for me that you think
everyone feels the same way about me as you do."

"How could they not? You're amazing. Um...you
haven't..."
H
e trails
off, clearing his throat. "Have you ever had feelings for
Noah?"

Up until recently I would have told you Caleb and I
had a relationship built on honesty and trust. I was almost always
truthful with him, and gave him honest answers to whatever he
asked. We had an unbreakable bond because of our honesty, but I
started lying when I began working for Noah's company. Then those
texts messages ruined it all because I had a hard time believing
him and he shouldn't have trusted me. I slept with Noah, ultimately
breaking any trust he could ever have towards me if he found
out.

Because I'm no longer honest in this
relationship.

I agreed to marry Caleb and I want to try and spend
the rest of my life with him. That will never happen if he found
out I cheated on him last night so I'm not going to tell him. Caleb
never has to know about Noah, which makes me a liar and
untrustworthy.

Lying is a tricky thing. There are never good reasons
to lie if you really think about it. People deserve to hear the
truth even if it will break their heart or hurt their feelings.
Even white lies are bad...but sometimes it's necessary to lie in
order to hold some semblance of a happy life together. Lying to the
man you love doesn
’
t
negate the way you feel about him. Unfortunately, if Caleb were to
ever find out about the truths I've kept from him or the lie I'm
about to tell him, he probably would feel like it does.

"No, I've never had feelings for Noah apart from a
childhood crush when I was seven. Noah is like a big brother to
me." The words feel so wrong passing my lips, but they have to be
said. Caleb needs to feel secure in this relationship and if he
knew Noah might possibly threaten our happily ever after, it would
destroy him.

He lets out a sigh of relief
.
"Okay, good."

"I still don't want to elope, Caleb. I want a
ceremony with our family and friends. My dad would be devastated if
he couldn't walk me down the
a
isle. I've dreamt of my wedding since I was a
little girl and I want it to be just as magical as my fantasy."

He leans it to kiss me again and then mumbles against
my lips, "If a big wedding is what you want, then a big wedding is
what you'll get. We can start planning tomorrow because I want to
spend
today
celebrating."

His lips fall back on mine urgently and I return the
kiss, but pull back before it leads to something more. "I'll meet
you in the bedroom in a minute," I whisper softly. "I need to call
work and let them know why I missed today and pray I still have a
job."

"Okay," he says
,
kissing me on the cheek. "Don't make me wait too
long."

He walks down the hall and into our back bedroom and
I fall down on the chair, taking in deep breaths and trying to
prevent myself from hyperventilating. I'm on the verge of having a
nervous breakdown.

What did I just do? What did I just agree to?

I'm lost. I'm
Alice Through the Looking Glass
.
Everything is backwards. Nothing is what it seems. I'm more
confused
than
ever.

My heart starts to race, my palms
become
sweaty, and my vision blurs as I
take in long deep breaths, praying I don't pass out right now. In a
fit of panic I raise the collar of the shirt I'm wearing to my nose
and inhale deeply, breathing in Noah's musky scent. The smell
instantly calms me and I continue to breath
e
him in. My heart rate slows to almost a
normal pattern, my breathing evens out, and my vision clears.

Even in his absence Noah is able to calm me. This
realization doesn't sit well with me, so I rip the shirt up and off
my body and walk into the back bedroom to meet Caleb. Hopefully an
afternoon with my new fiancé will help me forget about the man
residing across the hall because I'm already regretting choosing
Caleb.

Skye

Age 21

One of the scariest things about living in a new city
like New York, besides the fear of being raped or mugged, is that
it's hard to make new friends. New York City has over eight million
people in it, but unless you meet people at work
,
most people on the street ignore you.
It's a hustle and bustle type of city, which is so different from
my town in Michigan. When I would walk down the street there
everyone would stop me to talk.

In New York
,
if someone is stopping me on the street I probably
pissed them off or dropped something.

So I was so happy when I met Kendall after my first
month in the city. She comforted me in the park on a day I was
considering going back home because I was miserable here. She ended
up inviting me to a fitness class with her near Caleb's
l
aw
s
chool. It was a class for a new craze that took
over the city–Zumba. It sounded like fun but when I signed up for
the class I didn't account for my two left feet. Kendall tried
helping me understand the moves during that first class but I was
hopeless. We laughed at my awkwardness the rest of class and by the
end of the hour we had solidified our friendship.

We're inseparable now.

Kendall and I are complete opposite
s
. I have order in my life, dreams and
goals on where I see myself in ten years. I may have given up a few
of my other dreams to get here, but I'm happy and have a great
boyfriend. Our life together and future plans are what's most
important.

Kendall is the completely opposite. She makes no
plans and has no expectations for her life. She's a free spirit and
goes wherever the wind takes her. She reminds me of Noah in that
way. Both of them are having fun just living life.

We're also physically different. Kendall's tall with
long black hair and curves to envy. I'm petite with short blond
hair that I've recently like
d
adding strands of bright color to. I have just
enough curves to not
be
mistake
n
for a boy.

Despite all of our difference
s
we can sit and laugh about practically
anything. She's the closest thing I have to a best friend. Noah
used to have that title, but we've grown apart. Our friendship
slowly started to fizzle once I started dating Caleb.

Sure
,
I
still talk to Noah, but it's only when Caleb is around. He doesn't
call me, we don
’
t plan
to get together for lunch, and he doesn
’
t finish my ice cream anymore. He does
,
however
,
still text me once a day to remind me of
how special the day is because it's my unbirthday, and still
manages to get me a Hershey's Kiss every day.

He kept his promise.

Kendall has filled the void Noah left, and somewhere
in filling that void she became an essential part of my life. I
can't imagine not ever knowing her.

"Should I get the apple pie or a slice of the
chocolate layer cake? Both sound really good right now." We've just
finished our first attempt at Hot Yoga and decided to reward
ourselves with a bunch of calories.

"Why don't you get the pie and I'll get the cake and
we can share?" I suggest as I look over at the display of
mouthwatering baked goods. Everything looks and smells so delicious
in here.

Kendall steps up to the counter and orders both
desserts. I push some cash her way but she hands it back to me and
pays with her card. "You can pay next time."

She always does this. I can't remember the last time
I paid for an after workout treat. She doesn't make a lot more
money than I do so she should share the financial burden with me. I
can pay for our meals, too.

We're sitting down and savoring each bite of our
desserts when Noah walks in the front door of the bakery. I lift my
hand to give him a friendly wave but quickly change my mind and
lower my hand back to the table. My reflexes are too
slow
,
though
,
because he catches my motion and
starts to walk over to our table.

"Hey," he greets me
,
tilting his chin up in my direction.

"What are you doing out this way?" I ask. Noah
inherited his grandfather's business and he usually spends every
waking moment there, still learning the business and making any
necessary changes for it to run smoothly.

"I came to get a coffee.
This coffee
is the best around."

"You should join us," Kendall chimes in. With her
elbow on the table she rests her chin on the palm of her hand and
look
s
up at Noah
adoringly. "We have plenty of room."