Nobody's Hero (16 page)

“Why’d you stop coming to see me at the club
those last months? We used to be so close.” She squeezed her eyes
shut as pain tore through her stomach.
Don’t puke, Kitty
. A
tear trickled down her cheek, the cold air nearly freezing it
against her skin. She held the bike up above her head, shaking it
at the heavens. “Why, Ian?” she screamed. “Why did you fucking
leave me? Why don’t you ever talk to me, send me messages,
communicate with me?” Her voice grew louder with each accusation,
but she no longer cared what the neighbors thought. Cassie and
Angie disappeared. This was between her and Ian. “How could you
leave and not come back? I hate you for dying on me, Ian! Do you
hear me? I hate you!”

She flung the bike so hard it careened over
the wrought iron fence at the other end of the deck and fell toward
the driveway.

Adam closed the door of the SUV and ran his
fingers through his hair. When was Damián going to be able to rid
himself of the images that still plagued him? Fucking PTSD. Tonight
the boy had been consumed by memories from that rooftop in
Fallujah. Memories of Miller’s crushing weight on his chest, the
sergeant’s bloody brains spilling onto him. Adam had gotten him to
take a sleeping pill and he’d finally drifted into a peaceful
sleep. But how long before…?

“I hate you for dying on me, Ian! Do you hear
me? I hate you!!!”

Karla? His heart pounded against his chest.
Was she in the throes of her own nightmare? It sounded like she was
up on the deck. He looked up in time to see a tiny projectile
spinning end over end until it banged against his chest and bounced
off. He bent down to pick it up. A toy motorcycle?

Taking the steps to the porch two at a time,
he unlocked the back door, raced up the stairs, and ran across the
bedroom to the French doors in time to watch Karla’s naked ass as
she stepped into the hot tub to join Cassie and Angie.
What the
fuck?

Concerned and more than a little confused, he
hurried to the doors and opened one to go out on the deck. “Karla,
are you all right?”

She turned, her breasts lit by the shimmering
glow of the candles on the edge of the hot tub and the lights
inside. She looked like Venus rising from the sea. He refused to
look anywhere near her Venus mound and still felt his balls tighten
and his dick spring to life.

“Mast…Adam,” she said, looking down at her
friends, then back at him. “You’re home earlier than I
expected.”

“Obviously. What the fuck’s going on?”
Why
were you screaming like that?

He took in the candles, smelled burning sage,
something one of the men in his unit—a Shoshone—had done as a
religious observance on base when he’d wanted to cleanse some thing
or some place. He also could swear he could smell the “Oak” body
wash Joni’s mom supplied him with every Christmas.

Karla began shivering, her nipples looking
harder and more erect. “Sit down in the damned water, Karla, before
you freeze to death.”

“Yes, Sir.” She sunk into the water, her face
appearing shaken and a bit dejected. He noticed the stricken look
on Cassie’s face and a glare from Angelina, who then cast a worried
glance in Karla’s direction. Angelina’s eyes opened wider. Hell,
she’d probably caught onto the submissive responses Karla had given
and figured out the two of them had been playing at dominance and
submission. Only it was something much worse, actually

But right now, he was more concerned about
her screaming her hatred for her dead brother a few moments ago.
Where was the rage and anger now? She seemed almost serene,
although still very unhappy.

“Is someone going to tell me what’s going on?
Karla, what’s this all about?” He held the broken toy in the palm
of his hand, and she looked down at it as if she’d seen a ghost
from the grave.

“Take that horrible thing away from Kitty!”
Cassie glared at him, the most emotion he’d seen on her face in,
well, ever. Very protective of her friends, something he admired,
but didn’t appreciate at the moment.

What the fuck were they doing out here?

Cassie wasn’t finished with him yet, either.
“We’re trying to have a cathartic healing. You need to take your
negative energy and leave.”

“I and my negative energy own this deck, this
bedroom, this house,” he said, spreading his arms to indicate the
entire deck and house. “I’m not the one who needs to leave.”

A choking sound from Karla brought his
attention back to her, only to find her in tears.
Fuck.
What
the hell was wrong? Before he could go to her to comfort her, the
other two women were moving to her side, obviously as naked as
Karla was, and reaching to put their arms around her. She obviously
didn’t need him.

“Fine. Stay as long as you like. I’ll be down
in my office. Karla, when you and your friends are done
doing…whatever it is you’re doing…come downstairs. We need to have
a talk.”

Without waiting for a response, respectful or
otherwise, he turned to walk back inside and made a beeline to the
sanctuary that was his office. At least he didn’t have to worry
about anyone laying siege there.

First his bed. Now his deck.

Women. If he lived to be a hundred, he’d
never understand them.

* * *

“What’s his problem, Kitty?”

“What’s with the Master and Sir stuff, Karla?
I had no idea you two were…”

“We just started this morning, well,
yesterday morning now, I guess.” Karla looked from Cassie to Angie.
“Look, it’s complicated and I’m not supp…ready to discuss it. But
I’m so sorry he took out his anger on you two, especially after
we’d worked so hard to cleanse ourselves from our negativity.”

“Don’t apologize for him. He’s responsible
for his feelings, not you.”

But I made him feel that way
. She
remembered her mother’s words to Ian, when he’d lose his temper.
“No one can make you angry, Ian. You
choose
to become
angry.” Well, maybe, but Karla knew she needed to go to him, and
she dreaded the confrontation to come. Why had he been so angry for
her using his deck and hot tub? Or was something else going on?

Cassie insisted on finishing this part of the
ceremony, but Karla’s thoughts were on the man downstairs, waiting
for her. Would he punish her for not asking to use his deck? A tray
was passed in front of her and Karla blinked back to the present,
reaching down to take one of each of the two items Angie had
prepared and ate them, but couldn’t say what they were. Her stomach
was in knots worrying about what Master Adam would say and do.
Sometime later, she had no idea how long, Cassie stood and blew out
the candles. Karla knew the time had come to face the music—the
most discordant music she could imagine.

Karla trudged down the stairs, through the
kitchen, and into the hallway leading to his office as if she’d
been sentenced to the gallows. The drumming of her pulse did
nothing to allay her tension. She knocked on his door.

“Come.”

She wished he’d been commanding her to come
another way, but that wasn’t going to happen this morning. When she
walked into the room and saw the look of concern on his face, she
thought maybe she’d been wrong. He wasn’t angry anymore?

“You wanted to see me, Master?”

At her words, a change came over his face.
She almost thought there was reluctance, but he commanded, “Close
the door.” She did as instructed and walked toward his desk.
“Kneel.” His gaze went to a mat at the side of his enormous desk,
and she went there without question, falling to her knees. She kept
her back straight, her eyes downcast, and her hands, palm up, on
her thighs.

“Strip.”

She was still wearing his terrycloth robe,
because, oddly enough, her Master’s scent in the fabric had given
her some much-needed courage. But she slipped it off her shoulders
and let it puddle around her knees and legs at his command.

“If I don’t want you to look at me, I’ll
blindfold you. Eyes on me.”

Ka-thunk.

She closed and opened her eyes slowly,
drawing a deep breath, then raised her head. Adam still wore his
black leathers from their earlier session but had on a white dress
shirt, open at the collar and tucked into his pants. Seeing him
sitting in his office, she felt a memory of a fantasy stirring
inside that surprised her, but she wouldn’t go there. Tonight
wasn’t about fulfilling fantasies. Master Adam wouldn’t play when
he was angry. She'd seen him stop scenes in the club when he
thought a Dom wasn't in control of his anger.

“Explain yourself.”

The vulnerability of her naked and
subservient position, coupled with having her emotions lying right
at the surface from the ritual ceremony with her friends, weren’t a
good combination. Tears welled in her eyes and her lower lip
quivered. “I’m sorry, Sir. I didn’t think you would be home so
early.” His brow furrowed, but he waited for her to continue.
“Cassie will be leaving today and I thought it was the last chance
we’d get to perform the ritual we’d planned to do up on Mount Evans
two weeks ago.”

He relaxed and leaned back in the swivel
chair, spreading his legs open. She tried not to look at his tight
leathers, but they had some kind of hypnotic effect on her. He had
a bulge in his leathers telling her he was turned on. Well, that
made one of them.

“Eyes.” She looked up at him again. “Do you
mean to tell me you and Cassie get naked every year and do pagan
rituals during your camping trips?”

She thought she saw him bite the corner of
his lip. Was he teasing her? She took another much-needed deep
breath, but maintained her rigid posture. “Yes, Sir. It’s a time to
release past hurts.”

He closed his eyes as if in pain and his lips
twitched. “Stand up, kitten.” She stood up, naked, raw, and
vulnerable. “Put the robe on and come here.” She did as he
instructed, her hands shaking. He wasn’t angry anymore? She didn’t
want him to be displeased with her.

He held his arms out to her and she crawled
into his lap, tugging the robe tighter around her neck to keep
herself warm. She held herself upright and rigid, not sure what he
wanted her to do, until his hand on her cheek guided her head to
his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, kitten. You scared the fuck out
of me when I came home and heard you screaming at Ian. Then, when I
found you all in the hot tub, well, I…”

“Don’t apologize, Sir. I didn’t ask
permission to use your hot tub. You were right to be angry.”

“Fuck that shit. This house is as much yours
as it is mine. I wasn’t upset about your using the hot tub. I
thought you were…hurt, or hurting.” He stroked her hair, and his
voice softened. “I was worried about my little kitten.”

The dam broke, and a sob tore from her chest
at his words. She clutched the front of his shirt and held on
tight.

“Shhhh. I have you.”

He rocked the chair and held her while she
cried, until she began hiccoughing and sniffling. “Tell me about
the ceremony.”

She waited until she had regained some of her
composure. “I’m so angry at him, Master. He left me. He left me
even before he was killed on that damned motorcycle. Why didn’t he
come to see me at the club those last few months? And why doesn’t
he come to me now to let me know he’s okay?”

He continued to rock back and forth in the
chair, the motion providing her with some comfort. “I can’t answer
those questions, but I know anger is about the toughest part of the
grieving process to get through. But you do have to get through it;
have to let it go. Having your ceremony will probably help.”

“Were you angry with Joni?”

Oh, shit
. Why had she brought Joni
into their special time together?

* * *

Still am.

Now where had that brainfart come from? She’d
been dead and buried for nine years now. What could he possibly
still be angry about?

Then it hit him. He’d expected honesty from
Karla. He owed her the same.

“Yeah. I think she knew her cancer was back
when I was home on medical leave earlier in the year she died. She
didn’t say anything, so I had no fucking idea. I went back to war
not knowing she may not be there when I got out.”

She reached up and stroked his cheek. “Oh,
Master, I’m so sorry. But isn’t a slave supposed to share
everything with her Master?”

“We weren’t in a TPE arrangement then. Those
relationships are hard to do long-distance, although lots of people
do it on the internet now. Internet access was pretty limited in
Kandahar back then. Besides, I couldn’t maintain an intense
relationship like that and also keep my focus on the war.” He’d
always put war zones ahead of Joni.

Karla’s fingernail scratched his whiskers,
seemingly fascinated by the sound. His dick stirred again. Damn.
This wasn’t the time or place.

“What’s your favorite fantasy, Master?”

Whoa!
Clearly, her thoughts had
strayed into similar territory. How could the two of them be so
different and still have times like this when they were in sync
with each other? “I have a few. Having a beautiful harem girl is
one.”

She giggled, making him grow hard. “What’s so
funny?”

“I think I can…I mean, I can’t really picture
you being into the sheikh or sultan thing.”

He chuckled. “Maybe I spent too much time in
the Middle East. Not that I saw any harems or would like the
responsibility of that many slave women.” God, no. Just having
three naked women on his deck had been enough to stop him in his
tracks.

“How about you, kitten? What do you fantasize
about?”

She reached out to stroke the collar of his
shirt. “Promise you won’t laugh?”

“It can’t be any further out there than mine,
can it?”